Small towns for living in Italy

Good question  im interested in that too 

Close to the sea with no tourists doesnt exist for at least 2 months a year.

BY major metropolis you mean Rome, Naples, Palermo and possibly Catania.?

If you count Salerno as a metropolis, then down in the Cilento is lovely, Paestum, and that area.

Alternatively at less than an hour from Catania, there's Siracusa, (touristy in Ortigia) less so in the rest of the town, and the surrounding area.  Puglia for me is too touristy unless you're up in the north - Foggia way or inland.   

You need to travel around until you find an area that feels like home, and then zone in.   

I must say your expression, "You need to travel around until you find an area that feels like home, and then zone in," hits the nail on the head! Because we're also considering a small town as a place to live and buy a house. Of course, after the BBC show about houses for 1 euro in Tuscany, there's a temptation to embark on this adventure... but somehow, I feel like we might encounter a lot of problems, even though I'm knowledgeable about repairs and design. As for your advice about Salerno, it's a fantastic find! Have you lived or vacationed there?