Wants kids

I'm so sorry you're going through that. I think I would file for divorce in your situation. It sounds abusive and neglectful. He sounds like a bad man. You may be better off with him going back to Egypt and being with the Widow and you living your best life in Wales with him far away from you and your baby.

I'm so sorry you're going through that. I think I would file for divorce in your situation. It sounds abusive and neglectful. He sounds like a bad man. You may be better off with him going back to Egypt and being with the Widow and you living your best life in Wales with him far away from you and your baby.
-@danimcculloch

If you don't anything about the traditions and customs of an another country, in this case Egypt, please don't use words like abuse and neglectful. This might in your opinion the case but for many it isn't.

have an Egyptian husband
Of 13 years . Not able to have kids anymore . Somethings happened and he now wants kids . He as asked if he can have a child with a Egyptian women in Egypt .he wants to be able to carry on a legacy .
She is divorced and has a child with her muslin ex husband .
They have a 3 year old .
What would she have to do financially and in other ways. Advise please
-@amanda.ghoneim

Welcome on board 🤗

First of all: small applaus for him that he asked you first.

What we think it doesn't really matter, the question must be; what is your opinion and more: is this what you want ?

I can tell you what might happen: if he wants a kid (or more) from this woman then he must marry her. You know he's allowed to have maximum four women at the same time in the Islam. This right is only when one of the four situations applies (war, infertility of the woman, wealth and low libido of the wife).

It means also that he needs to treat you and his second wife equally. Is he able to do so?

If he marries her it means that his second wife looses her right over her child (unless her ex has no problems with a strange man raising his kid which I doubt).

Question one: do you want to share your husband with a second wife.

Question two: where is she going to live? Will she stay in Egypt or he wants to bring her to Wales? Does he wants to live in Egypt or in Wales and will travel frequently to her?

You must know that most (if not all) western countries doesn't accept polygamous marriages.

A red flag for me will be that when he married you, he knew your personal circumstances and he accepted this.

Something has changed and he changed his mind.

Question for you is; would you accept this or do you want a divorce?

No one can tell you what you need or must do but I do hope that what I have wrote, will help you to make the right decision.

Wish you all the strength and wisdom 🙏

If you need anything else, let me know and hopefully I can assist you.

have an Egyptian husband
Of 13 years . Not able to have kids anymore . Somethings happened and he now wants kids . He as asked if he can have a child with a Egyptian women in Egypt .he wants to be able to carry on a legacy .
She is divorced and has a child with her muslin ex husband .
They have a 3 year old .
What would she have to do financially and in other ways. Advise please
-@amanda.ghoneim

I would suggest that instead of asking on an expat forum, that you read the information found here. (Link, applicable to England and Wales only)

That the potential surrogate mother resides in Egypt will complicate matters. There are many financial and legal issues to consider.

@Primadonna

@danimcculloch

Reading the OP's post, it would seem the husband wants a child, not a second wife.

@Primadonna
@danimcculloch
Reading the OP's post, it would seem the husband wants a child, not a second wife.
-@Aidan in HCMC

Wanting a child from another woman outside an islamic marriage is haram: het is one of the biggest religious sins you can make.

It is not about her and her husband anymore but the other woman is also involved.

I don't think she wants to have a bastard child: she and her child will be an outcast in Egypt with huge consequences.

@Primadonna
@danimcculloch
Reading the OP's post, it would seem the husband wants a child, not a second wife.
-@Aidan in HCMC

Wanting a child from another woman outside an islamic marriage is haram: het is one of the biggest religious sins you can make.

I am more than a little familiar with Islamic law (and I speak Arabic). When you say "wanting a child..." I assume you mean "having a child..." outside of an Islamic marriage.

Well, as far as being Haram, it doesn't have to be. You've not heard of nikah mut'ah? A short-term marriage can be dissolved after the child is born. All perfectly acceptable, legitimate behaviour within Islamic law. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

It is not about her and her husband anymore but the other woman is also involved.

I don't see how it could be any other way. (?)

I don't think she wants to have a bastard child:

First of all, that is a very unacceptable label to use when describing any child which might be born to a single mom. It is an insult against the innocent.

Secondly, by holding a nikah mut'ah ceremony, by its very definition under Islamic law they would be married, hence no "bastard"(your term, not mine) child.

she and her child will be an outcast in Egypt with huge consequences.

Not so. She would be seen as a (now) twice divorced mother of two.

But why assume that the mother and child would be in Egypt, or for that matter that the mother and child would even live together or have a mother/child relationship? That is a matter to be decided upon/negotiated by the OP, her husband, and the lady in Egypt.

The one and only question asked by the OP (after describing briefly she and her husband's, and the potential surrogate's circumstances) was,

"What would she (the surrogate) have to do financially and in other ways. Advise please". That's it, a request for direction regarding the financial and "other ways" (which I assumed to be "legal obligations"). Given that one single question, I dared not offer life and/or marriage advice.

Why would anyone assume, without the slightest hint from the OP, that there is some ulterior motive (ie. infidelity, polygamy, wanderlust, whatever) other than allowing a married, infertile couple, to enjoy parenthood?

Again, the one single question asked was,

"What would she have to do financially and in other ways. Advise please", to which I provided a link to the appropriate gov't website which deals in such matters.

I took the OP's post as a request for information, not as a cry for help.

(edit: I'm not even quite sure why we are considering the ramifications of the OP's question under the tenets of Islamic law as there is no mention of the religion of the OP, her husband, nor the lady in Egypt. The only reference to being a Muslim is when the OP stated

"...her muslin (sic) ex husband", when describing the marital status of the lady in Egypt. It is presumptuous to assume the religion of any of the three parties referenced by the OP.)

The term bastard is often used in the Arabic world and it's certainly not a term that I would use but in this circumstance I did.

Nikah mu'tah is only recognized by the Shia Muslims and it's purpose of temporary pleasure only. Egypt is Sunna and it's not acceptable there.

It's great that you send the link to provide more information as I have no any knowledge about the legal rights or process if they want to choose this path. I only said that most, if not all, western countries does not accept polygamous marriages.

It shows that you see her question from a different view and I assume that she have no idea about the religious aspects whether each of the three are practicing or not.

The law in the UK is different than in Egypt obviously and they have to deal with both.

She wrote that the divorced Egyptian woman lives in Egypt with her child.

I have no intention to give her advice what to do or not, that's up to her and her husband.

Her post and her way of writing is up to many interpretations which can cause of lot of confusions.

It would be great if the OP could clarify to get better assistance if some of us are able too (knowledge and/or experience wise)

(edit: I'm not even quite sure why we are considering the ramifications of the OP's question under the tenets of Islamic law as there is no mention of the religion of the OP, her husband, nor the lady in Egypt. The only reference to being a Muslim is when the OP stated
"...her muslin (sic) ex husband", when describing the marital status of the lady in Egypt. It is presumptuous to assume the religion of any of the three parties referenced by the OP.)
-@Aidan in HCMCha

Having a Egyptian husband is almost certain that he's Muslim, no matter if he'd practicing his belief or not. Again it's assuming.

She never said she is a Muslim or that the Egyptian woman is a Muslim.

have an Egyptian husband
Of 13 years . Not able to have kids anymore . Somethings happened and he now wants kids . He as asked if he can have a child with a Egyptian women in Egypt .he wants to be able to carry on a legacy .
She is divorced and has a child with her muslin ex husband .
They have a 3 year old .
What would she have to do financially and in other ways. Advise please
-@amanda.ghoneim

What do you think anyone here can advise you on?

Having a Egyptian husband is almost certain that he's Muslim, no matter if he'd practicing his belief or not. Again it's assuming.
She never said she is a Muslim or that the Egyptian woman is a Muslim.
-@Primadonna

He may not be a Muslim.  There are lots of Coptic Christians in Egypt.

Having a Egyptian husband is almost certain that he's Muslim, no matter if he'd practicing his belief or not. Again it's assuming.
She never said she is a Muslim or that the Egyptian woman is a Muslim.
-@Primadonna

He may not be a Muslim. There are lots of Coptic Christians in Egypt.
-@fluffy2560

I know there are a lot of Coptic Christians but they're in minority compare to the Muslim population.

Therefore I used words like "almost certain" and "assuming"

Don't want to repeat myself but she never updated her post of give extra information to clarify so I am starting to think she might be a troll to spice up the forum.

Having a Egyptian husband is almost certain that he's Muslim, no matter if he'd practicing his belief or not. Again it's assuming.
She never said she is a Muslim or that the Egyptian woman is a Muslim.
-@Primadonna

He may not be a Muslim. There are lots of Coptic Christians in Egypt.
-@fluffy2560

I know there are a lot of Coptic Christians but they're in minority compare to the Muslim population.
Therefore I used words like "almost certain" and "assuming"

Don't want to repeat myself but she never updated her post of give extra information to clarify so I am starting to think she might be a troll to spice up the forum.
-@Primadonna

I didn't see the other posts before I asked my question. I can see now others have already engaged.  She could be a troll. Hard to say really.

The Coptics are indeed a minority.  I am not sure if and how the Islamic type law applies to them.

It will be most appreciated if Amanda would reply... at least to provide more infos. Otherwise it will be seen as trolling and the thread put down.

Let's wait a a few days

Regards

Bhavna

Having a Egyptian husband is almost certain that he's Muslim, no matter if he'd practicing his belief or not. Again it's assuming.
She never said she is a Muslim or that the Egyptian woman is a Muslim.
-@Primadonna

He may not be a Muslim. There are lots of Coptic Christians in Egypt.
-@fluffy2560

Estimates are up to 15 million Christians. Add to that Jews (and others)  and we're getting quite close to 20% of total population (i.e. almost 1 in 5 being non-Muslim).

As the only mention of "Muslim" was in referencing the religion of the ex-husband, I'm inclined to think that he may be the lone follower of Islam in this equation. Otherwise, why single him out as such?