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Developing your social circle in Cape Town

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Updated byAnne-Lise Mtyon 04 October 2019

The concept of the "Rainbow Nation" is often used in reference to South Africa. It is worth noting that this term has been criticised. It implies, metaphorically, cohabitation of the "colours" and community groups that make up the country, rather than their fusion or integration - lives lived in parallel, rather than a sharing or reciprocal cultural exchange. 

Twenty-five years after the end of the apartheid regime, which raised the hopes of many for reunification in 1994, this interpretation is, unfortunately, more relevant than ever, and does to a large extent represent current South African society. Whatever may be said, skin colour remains a ubiquitous subject and a reality central to understanding South Africa. Communities live in parallel with one another, with very few places of real exchange or opportunities to mix. Unlike many countries where the integration of local communities is possible, South Africa - and Cape Town in particular - is different. It falls to you to redouble your efforts and energy to adapt to the situation.

To help, here are some tips that should enable you to build your knowledge, cultivate strong relationships, and even make sincere friendships.

Tips for building your social circle in Cape Town

The first recommendation would be to use all the resources at your disposal: your workplace, gym, your children's school, pediatrician's office, church, mosque or synagogue, your dog (the South African community loves pets!) the cinema, the beach: all these can offer an excellent excuse to start a conversation and, where relevant, even increase your chances of dating.

The second would be "dare, receive, offer, offer"... Don't stay curled up in your shell. Take risks, get started, be generous, organise dinners or parties at home, invite people into your world. Take the initiative, propose a coffee to those with whom you feel comfortable. As much as possible, say "yes", when you are invited, and return the invitation! The more you open you are to others, the more you will integrate.

Do not give up at the first refusal. This is nothing personal - people lead busy lives! Try again another time. Work patiently on your social life and slowly but surely you will find yourself part of a new social network.

That being said, start with the “quick wins”, which will take the least amount of bravery as you build your confidence - and won't take you too far out of your comfort zone.

Join the Francophone circle by contacting the Cape Town Accueil. This is the fastest way to meet French, Belgian and many other nationalities who will be able to help and advise you. The association organises lots of activities throughout the month, whether cultural, sporty or touristic, as well as visiting cafes and parties: ideal for taking that first step into your new life. Bear in mind that these people - especially if they have lived in Cape Town for a long time - can introduce you into secondary circles, often outside the French-speaking community. By becoming responsible for an activity yourself, for example, you increase the speed at which you can truly integrate.

Don't forget to become a member of the Facebook group "French Cape" or "Young French Cape": they are not only very responsive but offer activities, information and support as you find your feet.

Socialise with your neighbours

Why not try meeting your neighbours? Without falling into the stereotype of the Desperate Housewife, an offer of freshly baked Madeleines could work wonders! To break the ice, invite your neighbours to a "braai" - the famous weekend barbecue so dear to Capetonians and for which there is even a dedicated holiday - September 24th. Some will come, some will not. Others will return the invitation: your social future depends on the exchanges and connections you establish!

Socialising at your workplace

Of course, your workplace is an ideal place to create a new connection. You will probably need some time to integrate, so go for small steps. Suggest a coffee, lunch or even a dinner at home with colleagues with whom you get along better.

Networking at schools and universities

As is the case in the rest of the world, if you are at university, things will evolve more naturally. If you have children, school is obviously a great place to meet other families. If you decide to participate in the activities of the school itself, of course, your integration will progress even faster. Your lovely children can prove to be great pretexts for socialising outside the school setting: enrol them in rugby lessons (a sport that enjoys a privileged place in South African schools) football, or any of the many other sports and musical activities available. Nippers - a typical weekend activity for children – is popular in Cape Town. There they will learn skills in first aid and much more through activities specially designed for children. Beyond the obvious usefulness of the skills they will learn, it is also an opportunity for you - and your little ones - to build new relationships.

Do not neglect birthdays! Here, 90% of parents and guests will snap up the invitation. With a little white wine for parents, the party won't just be for the kids!

Learn a language

If you don't speak English too well or want to learn Afrikaans or Xhosa, consider taking a language class. This is a great way to plug into an international network and to feel comfortable in communities whose idioms can be difficult to negotiate without practice.

Camping

Camping is a very popular pastime in South Africa, with Kruger Park, Namibia and the magnificent reserves of the Western Cape such as Cederberg or Hoop being top camping spots for Afrikaners. Get involved: mingle with fellow campers, invite fellow campers to join you for a beer, and see what happens!

Sports activities in Cape Town

As already mentioned, sports should not be neglected: Capetonians are very active and practice countless sports - time to get your heart pumping! Yoga classes, cycling, kite surfing, golf, surfing - you choose. These activities offer the perfect chance to make a new friend.

You may also want to take the opportunity to discover traditional neighbourhoods or check out the local handicrafts: it is a great way to get closer to the communities with which you might otherwise have difficulties interacting: you could take a cooking class with the BoKaap Cooking tour, learn the art of Beads & Wires - a typical country craft - in Woodstock, visit the Kramats (traditional Muslim tombs on Signal Hill) or head to Table Mountain.

Volunteering in Cape Town

Of course, you can also decide to become socially involved in humanitarian networks by helping one of the many associations in Cape Town. These groups are actively trying to change the areas of city life where life remains difficult for members of the black community. These associations may be involved in education, medical and psychological support, drugs, help for women and orphans, sports, etc.: the areas of need are endless. Just be sure to do this in a structured way: access to the Townships is possible, but it must be done safely.

In short, take the time to invest in your social life abroad: it is one of the highlights of successful expatriation!

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We do our best to provide accurate and up to date information. However, if you have noticed any inaccuracies in this article, please let us know in the comments section below.

About

Anne-Lise studied Psychology for 4 years in the UK before finding her way back to Mauritius and being a journalist for 3 years and heading Expat.com's editorial department for 5. She loves politics, books, tea, running, swimming, hiking...

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