peacelovelight

2012-UPDATE: I've been in Jordan 2 years now, and I must say, reading my above enthusiasm is a bit heart-breaking, as life here is not as easy as I had hoped. Things just do not roll easily and life changes directions minute-by-minute. I am still trying to remain upbeat, but in a country filled with traditions that are not always logical to a westerner, is can be quite disappointing. I am questioning why in the world I am here and how in the world I can regain my happiness when I am forbidden to even laugh or smile in public. My kids are now 6 and 9 and speak Arabic, which is wonderful. I am hoping that somehow the events in my life will turn and I can find some like-minded friends. It is very lonely not having friends and having the many restrictions placed on me that I would never allow in the US. I am giving this place another year of my life and if they don't change, that's it, I will leave, defeated, for the first time ever (in a major way). I have not experienced any freedom, travel, fun, laughter, or music like I explained above...only restriction and ridicule from being too open-minded...however, I am not giving up yet...it is also, very, very, difficult to make a positive influence on anything. All organizations I have contacted here and VOLUNTEERED my services haven't even had the courtesy to reply. My only hope is to find some other foreigners who maybe have some enthusiasm that will spread and bring back the life that has been sucked out of me....sorry to be so, down, but really, this is by far the most difficult and sad time I have ever experienced in my life...although I am strong, sometimes, I feel I should just give up and go to where the people are happy and free. If you feel like me, please contact me...all it takes sometimes to bring one out of the darkness of restrictions is the "forbidden" smile :) And to those westerners who are considering moving here with their spouse...think twice..really...it is far far more difficult than you would ever ever imagine, and frankly, it would be easier to live in a tent in the west than a castle in the east...freedom means everything, especially if you are a woman here. (And this does not apply to those who have the opportunity to live in Amman), my experience is in the village and from living around male family members who enforce "Muslim ways" whether you are used to a life of freedom of expression or not. Hopefully you would not have these restrictions enforced on you, and mine are really moderate compared to other families in my observations. But really, think twice!!!!