Another One Bites The Dust

@Cherryann01 Sorry to hear this ending chapter, however, based on your previous posts regarding this saga, I'm not entirely surprised. At least you had the good sense not to get roped into sending money. There's definitely a cautionary tale here in that when the dry begging starts run the other way! Dry begging, for those that don't know, is when someone doesn't ask for money directly but starts telling you all about a financial problem hoping you'll offer to help. In any event, good luck to you Cherryann and hope the new year treats you more kindly

Cherryann, sorry to hear about your Bohemian Rhapsody.

Ever since you told us about your scheming girlfriend, I felt like you've always been saying, "I Want To Break Free from her." Unfortunately, that would be tough because she is the mother of your child. It's good that you did your research first and did not fall Under Pressure to send money to your Killer Queen (literally) who seems to have kept saying "I Want It All," to the point of faking her own death. Truly, Too Much Love Will Kill You. Well, The Show Must Go On. Perhaps next time, when you try to find Somebody To Love, pick from Fat Bottomed Girls instead of someone who looks like she's Made In Heaven, but can make your life a living hell.

Unbelievable story. Well, I mean I believe it, but.. well, you know. What I mean is it's hard to believe she would do that. How far did she think that would get her?

Must be some desperation there. I do hope you continue to support your child.

Well cherryann01 . . . .

Your MS. Grand Poo Pah will go to any length to deceive you. . . even six feet under.

Lets go back in time. . . .Have you ever had a blood test or DNA check of the child?

What can I say? I'm almost (but not quite) lost for words at this sick egregious deception from two catholic church going (they all are) Filipinas who will be in that hallowed church of God today taking communion and afterwards in the confessional stating 'Father we have sinned.'

If it wasn't so morally debased the whole thing would be comical. I'm really sorry you have been put through this Cherryann01.

Bob must have read my thoughts regarding (your?) daughter. So I guess its back to base camp. Just don't use the same dating site. Heck don't use 'em at all, just go there!

@Lotus Eater What I cannot understand is, once she became an EX, why did he feel a possible responsibility to pay for a funeral (probably around 3K US). He never really got over her; maybe the silver lining in this cloud is that it will be the last straw that gets her emotionally out of his mind, a space she apparently has occupied for far too long.

Cherryann, this site is not "Dear Dorothy" nor "Judge Judy" airing your dirty laundry/mistakes gains little or no sympathy from most, Personally I would be embarrassed to put your story on a public forum.

As Bob reflected? Is it your child. Be like a Pinoy, make babied and walk away.

Lick your wounds and move on to the next scammer/user.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

'

Ever since you told us about your scheming girlfriend, I felt like you've always been saying, "I Want To Break Free from her." Unfortunately, that would be tough because she is the mother of your child. It's good that you did your research first and did not fall Under Pressure to send money to your Killer Queen (literally) who seems to have kept saying "I Want It All," to the point of faking her own death. Truly, Too Much Love Will Kill You. Well, The Show Must Go On. Perhaps next time, when you try to find Somebody To Love, pick from Fat Bottomed Girls instead of someone who looks like she's Made In Heaven, but can make your life a living hell.
-@FilAmericanMom

I read this in the early hours of this morning while sat down enjoying a few cans of cider and a few shots of vodka and it made my day, cheered me up no end. Thank you very much and it is obvious that you are a big Queen fan.

Okay so just a few things I need to clear up here.

Bob - The answer to your question about getting a DNA/Blood Test is no. Alyannah does look like me and many people have commented so both in England, from seeing the pictures and in the Philippines seeing us together and the timing is right. Not 100% proof but I am sure in my mind.

Lotus Eater - I agree, she seems to have broken a few of the ten commandments but church was never her thing so no confessional for her.

Danfinn - I was not feeling a possible responsibility to pay for the funeral. When the sister messaged using the dreaded words - There is a problem, I had a good idea where the chat was leading and the cost of a coffin, flowers, etc were what I was thinking she was going to ask for. So for example, if I reply what problem, she says we do not have enough money for the service, for a coffin, etc. By this time alarm bells were ringing.

Parveze - You hit the nail on the head, I think this was exactly the intention, to get me to volunteer to pay, rather than directly asking for the money.

bigpearl - Whilst I do agree with you about airing dirty laundry to some extent, This was meant to be more of a warning to others to demonstrate that if a person is really desperate, they could in the last resort, turn to scams like this. Also I do think this would have probably come out at some time. Example - If I took Lotus Eaters advise and just went to the Philippines and found another woman, let us say from Subic Bay, then I posted something simple asking about the best romantic restaurants to go to there, people on this forum who have read my previous posts would be like, hold on I thought you were the guy who had a g/f and child in Mindanao, what went wrong there?

I might have lingered with an "ex" when I was younger - no more.

Get a new phone number, block the emails and for the love of Pete,  move on

Cherryanno1 said. . . .Okay so just a few things I need to clear up here.

Bob - The answer to your question about getting a DNA/Blood Test is no. Alyannah does look like me and many people have commented so both in England, from seeing the pictures and in the Philippines seeing us together and the timing is right. Not 100% proof but I am sure in my mind.

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Cherryannno1. Good News & Bad News.

Good News. . . .You seem like a really nice guy and lots of good women would appreciate a man like you.

Bad News. . . . .Those that agreed with you that similarities of the baby and you were just being kind. The timing was right for her, not for you. I wouldn't be surprised if other men might have believed the baby was theirs also. Probably you are the only one left maintaining with this notion.

You keep hanging on. . . . I think you're afraid of a Blood Test/DNA Test because you still want to carry on this fantasy , imaginary and contrived relationship.

@Cherryann01

Regarding "Not 100% proof but I am sure in my mind.". Paternity testing is now very common in the Philippines and this is so for obvious reasons. Also, it is convenient and not that expensive. See https://easydna.ph/paternity-tests/

as one of many testers.

@Cherryann01 Regarding DNA testing, also keep in mind that if you would like to keep the option open for your child to claim US citizenship and obtain a US passport in the future, and this could open up many opportunities benefits for the child plus (I think this correct) would allow you to file SSA for increased benefits of a minor dependent in addition to other benefits to you, my understanding is that the US embassy will require a "legal" DNA test (twice as expensive) as proof that the child is your's. If you are not American, similar rules may apply to your country.

Cherryann, From memory a year or two ago you had many ladies lined up like a smorgasbord and seems you selected something unpalatable and now you cry.

Most if not all here are your age and older here and have been around the block many times, cautious and very reluctant to repeat previous mistakes. I had a vasectomy at 38 once my last born turned 2, now he is now 26 and my oldest 33. A lecture on your situation? Trying to help others? As said "dear Dorothy" and you only have yourself to blame and live with the consequences. Don't do it again is my advice.

Don't worry I've made plenty of bad choices and learnt. Advice given by others here is to secure your situation with a DNA test so you don't end up supporting this problem and the next one you may create.

My only hope is you learnt and don't repeat past mistakes/choices. Time to take control mate. Reality.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

OK we all agree that Cherryann needs to get a DNA test. Like everything in the Philippines the 'devil is in the detail'

How will this be done? His now ex GF has form. We know that just about every Filipino is open to a back hander even medical staff. Cherryann will have to be present during the whole process to make sure there is no faking of documentation. That means a trip out to CDO, another reunion, the sight of his 'daughter?' his ex begging for forgiveness. Make up time? A reset? Here we go again.

Fools rush in.

Cheers, Steve.

Many thanks for the replies guys but I do feel that I obviously need to clarify a few more things here. Maybe I missed some details in my original post.

Bob - Thank you for the good news and kind words, they are much appreciated. Regarding the bad news - a DNA Test may be the answer but Lotus Eater seems to have hit the nail on the head, so to speak. My ex told me she had moved north of Manila, was staying with her brother and looking for work (last I heard) and my daughter or maybe not mine (although I do think she is), she is in Mindanao. One of the people who said she looked like me was my English Daughter.

danfinn - I am British and currently residing in England but again, thank you for the advise regarding DNA testing.

Big Pearl - Thank you for the advise but I finished this relationship, it is over and I told my ex clearly and with many expletives when she emailed me shortly after the failed scam attempt. I am not looking back and I have no regrets and do not wish to see the woman again. Also you seem to have me mixed up with somebody else. I have never lined women up like a smorgasbord, did not find and of my ex partners on dating sites and to be honest I could simply not cope and juggle multiple potential partners at once. Some poor judgement on my part, agreed and maybe I did not head the early warning signs, but I know it is over and there is no going back.

Lotus Eater - Absolutely spot on, I do not want that potential reunion with my ex. There is an Auntie and friend out there in Mindanao, both of which I trust as best as can be expected and the only way I see a DNA Test happening is if I could arrange something with them without my ex's knowledge and if she is still obviously away near Manila.

I recently made another post about the best way to book multi city flights - this was a completely separate issue and not linked to my ex. I had been chatting to another woman from Cebu after the breakdown of the relationship and even arranged to go see her but my sensible head kicked in and I have since changed my mind about going to see her. I may however just do the KL and Da Nang part of the trip just for a break and to get away from the horrible February weather I am expecting here in the UK. Hotels in Da Nang when I last looked on booking.com were dirt cheap ( 4 star hotels for 6 nights for around the £100 mark.) I think Vietnam has some promotions on trying to tempt tourists back after Covid.

side note to Bob - I don't know if you have seen the Die Hard films but there is a scene in the second film in the ATC Tower where the terrorists get in touch with the tower to tell them that they will loose communication with the circling aircraft and the head guy turns round to the controllers and says, Pack em, stack em and rack em. That is roughly what my ex must have done if Alyannah is not mine and I find that a little hard to believe.

The post's an extremely coked-out record, a record that grabs and embraces that cocaine feeling where paranoia becomes its own kind of euphoria.

Welcome to the forum Baker, an interesting view with some realities thrown in, enjoy the journey.

Cheers, Steve.

@Cherryann01

Sorry Cherry for the wierdo sicko scam that was dropped on you. But- it does take two to tango, STOP perpetuating this DRAMA!

Excise these people from your life-period.

Cherryann01 said . . . .

I may however just do the KL and Da Nang part of the trip just for a break and to get away from the horrible February weather I am expecting here in the UK

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(1) When you say I may just do KL and Da Nang, it doesn't sound very convincing.

(2) You could vacation someplace else where it is warm Brazil or Hawaii without visiting online pen pals.

(3) It rains a lot in KL or Da Nang so bring your rubbers this time, you forgot them when in the Fils.

@Lotus Eater "Honey, if you want your daughter to become a US citizen where she can immediately petition you with no wait list to live in the USA when she turns 18, you might want to cooperate with the DNA test as proof of my paternity but no, I do not forgive and forget, that is off the table.This is for our child".

(My wife petitioned her mother that way after being naturalized and mom came over with no wait list as a green card but she eventually returned to the Philippines).

@Cherryann01

Lotus Eater - Absolutely spot on, I do not want that potential reunion with my ex. There is an Auntie and friend out there in Mindanao, both of which I trust as best as can be expected and the only way I see a DNA Test happening is if I could arrange something with them without my ex's knowledge and if she is still obviously away near Manila.

You should know better. Family comes first in the Philippines. Do you really believe that the Auntie is going to keep a confidence? Even if she does ( and she won’t) she will blab it out to another relation who she thinks is trustworthy and sooner or later the ‘ Chismis’ will get back to your ex.

Cherryanne this cannot be done vicariously. Your mission ( should you choose to accept it) is to get back out there and arrange a trusted go between. I have just the person. She is attractive, charming, intelligent, and above all trustworthy - you know her: FilamMom

Cherryann01 said . . . .
I may however just do the KL and Da Nang part of the trip just for a break and to get away from the horrible February weather I am expecting here in the UK
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(1) When you say I may just do KL and Da Nang, it doesn't sound very convincing.
(2) You could vacation someplace else where it is warm Brazil or Hawaii without visiting online pen pals.
(3) It rains a lot in KL or Da Nang so bring your rubbers this time, you forgot them when in the Fils.
-@Enzyte Bob

No intention of going for anything other than a holiday and I want to go to Da Nang at some point. However, saying that, Cartagena in Columbia for some reason I have also fancied visiting. Been already to Rio.

@Lotus Eater

Point taken regarding the Aunt. I will abandon that idea.

That is roughly what my ex must have done if Alyannah is not mine and I find that a little hard to believe.
-@Cherryann01

Cherryann01,

From what you said, Alyannah is "yours". It does not matter what the DNA will say. What matters now is if you're going to make her feel you're her father. It is beyond financial support.

If in case you will be pushing through DNA tests, you can get two or three labs to test. Do not tell your ex which labs they are. Just a thought.

I would test if I were you. I know someone who had a similar situation but not married. It was down to weekly visits, baby formula, diapers, family photos, etc. Upon prodding, he finally had DNA test done. You know it, not his. Detaching from the baby can be a bit rough after some quality time.

@Cherryann01

sorry to hear about all of this, but glad you've finally shared it out into the open...you're right, i believe. Now being the new year, its a great time as any to do so. You've risen out of this a new, wiser man with much to give. Certainly you will find 'the one'  and perhaps your current flame might prove that in due time she is the one. there is no question about it.

Fat bottomed Pinay Girls make the Rock 'n Roll Go 'Round. (and there are plenty).

@Cherryann01

Fat bottomed Pinay Girls make the Rock 'n Roll Go 'Round. (and there are plenty).
-@kristopherryanwatson

Well certainly they have the rolls going around.

@danfinn

those ones too!

nothing wrong with a little bit of extra meat. i find it suits some girls.

@danfinn
those ones too!

nothing wrong with a little bit of extra meat. i find it suits some girls.
-@kristopherryanwatson

I would agree with your sentiments. I have noticed over the years that the slimmer women always seem to be  more weight conscious and instead of accepting the way they look are always comparing themselves to others.

@Cherryann01

been living there 14 years  for 7 months a year  I have had 3 gf  one died  and the other two we are still friends and still love. All 3 worked and before I met them I had my friend Virgie who is like a sister to make sure they were real.  And meet them     Everyone should bring something to the table in a relationship. Because of this my relationships lasted a minimum of 4 maximum of 6

@Cherryann01
Lotus Eater - Absolutely spot on, I do not want that potential reunion with my ex. There is an Auntie and friend out there in Mindanao, both of which I trust as best as can be expected and the only way I see a DNA Test happening is if I could arrange something with them without my ex's knowledge and if she is still obviously away near Manila.

You should know better. Family comes first in the Philippines. Do you really believe that the Auntie is going to keep a confidence? Even if she does ( and she won’t) she will blab it out to another relation who she thinks is trustworthy and sooner or later the ‘ Chismis’ will get back to your ex.
Cherryanne this cannot be done vicariously. Your mission ( should you choose to accept it) is to get back out there and arrange a trusted go between. I have just the person. She is attractive, charming, intelligent, and above all trustworthy - you know her: FilamMom
-@Lotus Eater

Thank you for the compliment, Lotus Eater. But I can't be a go between because CherryAnn01 already did great at not falling for the scam and taking control of the situation. I don't think a DNA test would be necessary, especially if the timing of the birth (around 40 weeks) is right and the girl does not work in an industry involving multiple partners / short-term relationships. What's important now is CherryAnn01 keep the bond between him and his daughter strong.

DNA tests? Perhaps the English royal family should look into that with Charles and Dianna especially now with the new book to make money, looks like the butlers son to me, hey.

OMO.

Cheers, Steve.

@FilAmericanMom

The timing of the birth is accurate but even though I have put my ex well behind me it seems that her treachery knows no bounds. Funny how when people get screwed, even her own family members that they have turned against her and have shed more light on the situation, which now gives me the opportunity to walk away from all of them. It seems that there was another man involved according to two relatives who both messaged me with details including the guys name. He is from the Philippines and although he may not be the biological father, he has been responsible for her and provided for her. With the name, I was able to check his Facebook Account, where I saw pictures of him and Alyannah together and it seems Alyannah has been brought up to at least believe that he is her Dad. I also read some of the comments on there.

Although I was also told that my ex ripped this guy off to the tune of 330K and another relative said the figure she owes is near the one million mark, including money lost in the investment scheme, money stolen and money borrowed.

The funny thing is that when I met Alyannah for the first time and me and her mum were kissing or cuddling, Alyannah would scream, hit me and throw things. I put this down to her being nervous and cautious being that she only just met me. It would seem though that in her own way, she was trying to tell me to back off because she did not consider me to be her Father.

At least I can just walk away from it all now though knowing that this man if not my ex, does care for, love  and see Alyannah has his daughter and he will do his best to keep her safe and look after her.

FilAmericanMom said. . .

I don't think a DNA test would be necessary, especially if the timing of the birth (around 40 weeks) is right and the girl does not work in an industry involving multiple partners / short-term relationships.

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Sorry to disagree with you on this one.

A DNA test will save a lifetime of anxiety and solve any wonderment. Given the tactics this Filipina has used against Cherryann01in the past nothing would surprise me.

You're assuming a lot when you say if the timing is right and the girl does not work in an industry involving multiple partners / short term relationships.

Forget her Not being a working girl/or  having multiple partners/ or short term relationships as she has proven to be a skeemer, totally untrustworthy and untruthful.

Yup she is a model of a virtuous citizen.

FilAmericanMom said. . .
I don't think a DNA test would be necessary, especially if the timing of the birth (around 40 weeks) is right and the girl does not work in an industry involving multiple partners / short-term relationships.
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Sorry to disagree with you on this one.

A DNA test will save a lifetime of anxiety and solve any wonderment. Given the tactics this Filipina has used against Cherryann01in the past nothing would surprise me.

You're assuming a lot when you say if the timing is right and the girl does not work in an industry involving multiple partners / short term relationships.

Forget her Not being a working girl/or having multiple partners/ or short term relationships as she has proven to be a skeemer, totally untrustworthy and untruthful.

Yup she is a model of a virtuous citizen.
-@Enzyte Bob

Agreed but for the sake of Alyannah I know it is time to cut all remaining ties. DNA Test or no DNA Test, if Alyannah believes, was taught and is being well looked after and cared for and loves this other guy like a father- it is time to leave it there. She was probably the only innocent party in all this scheming and skulduggery and any more interference by me will not be good for her.

FilAmericanMom said. . .
I don't think a DNA test would be necessary, especially if the timing of the birth (around 40 weeks) is right and the girl does not work in an industry involving multiple partners / short-term relationships.
***********************************

Sorry to disagree with you on this one.

A DNA test will save a lifetime of anxiety and solve any wonderment. Given the tactics this Filipina has used against Cherryann01in the past nothing would surprise me.

You're assuming a lot when you say if the timing is right and the girl does not work in an industry involving multiple partners / short term relationships.

Forget her Not being a working girl/or having multiple partners/ or short term relationships as she has proven to be a skeemer, totally untrustworthy and untruthful.

Yup she is a model of a virtuous citizen.
-@Enzyte Bob

Precisely. This ex of yours Cherryann is a real pro. Make no mistake. In fact it would not surprise me that both she and the biological (assuming he is) father have both been playing ‘away’. He’s probably got a ‘bit of stuff’ stashed away in each of the 80 Barangay’s that make up the city of CDO. God knows where his ‘pecker’ has ended up.

Given that you went ‘bareback’ with your ex I would suggest getting an STI test as well as the DNA test for your daughter.

Maybe there is a clinic there that has a special offer on given the January sales: you know a two for the price of one deal?

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!