Your 10 best tips to make friends when you're abroad

cvnuttee wrote:

Moving anyplace new is hard even if it is from one part of the US to another.   My good friend moved from the southwest to new england states and really had a tough time with the difference in attutudes.  It took her a long time to adjust and she was still very upset after three or four years and missed the southwest tremendously now it has been over twenty years and she has accepted being in new england.

Anyway, my point it that all moves are hard to adjust and make new friends and lives and it is more complicated in a foreign country thats for sure.

cvnuttee,

Your points are very insightful.  I have lived in the US for decades (tells you guys how old I am, ehem) and moved to or from the four corners of the country, thus experiencing many subcultures in the process. Now in the south I miss the work ethic of the north almost everyday.

I agree with you in that moving into a new environment is hard, no matter what. Personally, I do not make friends fast and don't have many friends but those I have are GREAT! Fits my style and way of thinking very well.  I had to learned to be patient. 

Also agree with sanaarsh from: riyadh, who says "i have only one tip .............try to live with yourself ...love silence and loneliness.........." 

"Back home" I partied weekly and had tons of friends.  It seemed I knew everyone in town. Then I decided to go the US and I became a different person.  None of the things I liked to do at home where available to me in my new environment. In time I learned to appreciate the new world I lived in.

In time also, you have to learn to feel comfortable in solitude, since for many, you will spend most of your time alone! Repeat: MOST OF YOUR TIME ALONE! in your skin, with your own little thoughts.  That means, you need to learn to discern between TV showing you all the (fake) fun others are having while "you feel so miserably lonely." Learn to pull yourself out of bed, out of the room, or the house, and hang out where people are. Willing to cry, willing to indulge in something YOU like even if you do so ALONE MANY TIMES,  Willing to laugh about something ALONE. You must learn to tame your own demons. 

Your personality dictates the activities that facilitate making friends abroad.  Realizing that, I have always moved for work and/or study because there is where I make friends since I develop my friendships slowly, and go out to bars very rarely. Love to dance party but don't like the typical drinking party... see?

For those who might have a similar style to mine, volunteering should help; saying hi to neighbors regularly; also consider things like speaker's bureau (your accent will be a plus); participate volunteering in city-wide sports or environment related events for kids or adults--contact the Mayor's office--; the local botanical garden, museum, and esp. college clubs (dance, environment, archaeology, community service types, some sports---where there is a lot of opportunity to interact with other people over and over again... and you can get to know them.  As old as I am, I like to hang out with college folks. Now I am an unofficial member of a student organization and have a blast with them! Every Friday we garden together and I get free beer (probably because they figured out I get drunk on half bottle the point is...it works!)

As other's have suggested, be a "regular" somewhere where people will see you, notice you and eventually expect you: the bar, deli, park with your dog, yard with your cat, park with your binoculars or camera, local library (try volunteering there), club, the local whatever.

And yes, the US is tough to break. For many, if not most, it's hard not to feel lonesome here.  Although it now feels great to be alone and not feel lonesome.

Do master the language.  Do learn the local culture. But keep your uniqueness.  As Bob the anthropologist, my late ex-husband and best friend used to say, when in Rome, do as the Romanians!

It's so easy to get along with others when you're working abroad just be friendly and conversant. The first thing to get friends is getting to know your flat neighbors and spend some time with them. Joining an organization/group or a civic cause is also a way of getting friends

i will invite neighbors and colleges to my house for a cup of coffee..and maximum try to participate with public..my best weapon or idea is maximum smile to every one..there is nothing for losing while smiling..but some time will get a lot of friendship..

trying to talk everyone who is friendly

be friendly with people and not to have already ideas about people

Play golf.

im in shanghai for 6 month got 1 friend hope i will meet more

Do your best to get the best

thank a lot for nice topic

Regards

Once in Barcelona
I've made friends with one nice lady working in paper shop.
I came up just to buy a map and she was so pleasant and told about places to visit and much about transport system of the city.
Making friends sometimes depends upon occasion I think.

Hi all
nice topic and advises
have a smile face and good behavior
u will get alot of friends everywhere

I know one method that works. Find out where are the bars in your locality where foreigners tend to hang out. And then simply go there and enjoy the time. You won't believe how many different nationalities you can meet in one evening. And expats tend to be friendly and open, because, well, they are in the same boat as you. Only and expat can truly understand what's it like to be an expat. It's much harder to get to know local people because of the language barrier. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try, but it takes much longer.

just get signed up in an expatriate blog

We all need friends - I have them everywhere!

Nice!

1.If youre moving from a western culture the biggest lesson you can give yourself is an understanding of the culture you will be living in.

2.Learn the local language.

3.Do some out door activity.

4.Make a friend.

5.And use new spec everyday.

hi join a dance class for a month

1. Learn local language
2. Do some activities with alot of people in it, such as sport
3. Always smile and say Hi and try to make a conversation to people you think not dangerous
4. If you have no job (a housewife), join some community, or go the a course
5. Hangout with your neighbours and spread your networking.
6. Try to find people from your region country

I only have 6

Great tips everyone I guess i have to work on my socializing skills...but with your tips this shouldn't be too hard

One could also try to live with a home-stay family. This would facilitate learning the language of a nation.

and what if a person is living in Khartoum. then what the tips would it be. where all expats try to be isolated as possible...!

well I can't tell about it since I haven't been to that place.. What don't you tell us about it a little bit more?

Sudan is strict islamic state, you cannot go out alone, you cannot talk to strangers as it is security advisory. no places for socialzation. you are all on your own if you are here. so expats try to stay in home whatever they do. and offcourse a desert so as hot as hell.
even if you try friendship websites you will find several national people but you cant communicate as they dont know englisha and you dont know arabic.

i think i need to take more research on how to live as an expat in Sudan.

Well men in Sudan know the ways to marry four young girls and turn their lives to heaven. It wouldn't hurt to have four wives at home rather than living alone

I belive you need to communicate more with Sudanese man and find out how they manage to turn the desert life into heaven

Gary wrote:

To get to know locals:

1. Learn the  language ASAP
2. Visit the local watering hole
3. Invite your neighbors for a drink and/or a meal
4. Visit local sports matches
5. If you have kids, invite kids their age over to play - you'll get to know their parents

To get to know other expats (if that's what you really want...)

1. Become a member of social clubs (your fellow countrymen might have a national club)
2. Once in the club, become a board member.
3. Find out where expats of your and other countries hang out and go there.
4. Become a member of business associations
5. Organize a international expat party in your place

Well established list, I was just to state the same

Quite a lot of tips.. thanks. That should help me in KSA.

I spend time networking and finding other expats online. I know that sounds like something you might have already thought of but in 10 months I've managed to meet only 4 people in real life. Out of those 4 people one of them had found another expat who lived in my city that I had not found and now I'm up to 5 in the same city that I'm working on developing friendships with. I don't live in a major city and there really aren't many expats here. Almost all of the foreigners are tourist. So the online networking really helps because I never would have found some of these expats without the extra effort. The only down side is that I'm on 4 or 5 expat specific sites and it can sometimes be a little much to keep up with.

Julien wrote:

We've been talking about loneliness when you're abroad, let's now talk about how to make (local and other expats) friends when you're living far from home

Which are your 10 best tips?

the tips:
1.u get a local interesting friend
2.u can be friendly with guide if u are guided through

I speak the sales girls at the store and others who speak to me. I am cautious with which of their questions I answer and how though. I don't worry too much about giving out my phone number like you have to in the US either. (This is different in each country but here there isn't much they can do to me with a 200 sms a day limit and the phone being registered in someone elses name.) I also hand out business cards for my blog which gives them a chance to get to know me and contact me on their terms.

good ideas
wish it will help

ten seems like such a big number. It has been hard to make Finnish friends here. But I have noticed that if u have kids or an animal then people approach you much more easily. I have made some friends and acquaintances that way. Finnish people and quite shy and reserved so it is hard for them to make the first move outside of these contexts.

be real...be friendly...be interested in others...
oh my gosh...
same as everywhere else...

1. Learn the basics - Please, sorry, thank you, beer.
2. Find the nearest bar (or cafe) and "Please, beer (coffee), thank you"
3. Repeat regularly.
4. Ask the staff who now recognise you for new words - Table, menu, chair, ashtray. Then the food on the menu.
5. Practise the food words you have learned in the local store.

You have now started speaking to at least 3 of the locals and are on the way to a basic understanding of the language.
The only place where I have failed to integrate like this was London. It's awful.

thank you for the tips everybody i live in India alone n its so lonely i should have known this .....

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hi guys im new here can someone tell me what i have to do to get new friends and i can send pm thx alot

#1 Be yourself.
#2 Go out and do the things you like to do.
#3 Talk to people.  If you wait for them to start talking, you might have a long wait.