Mixed Marriages

wjwoodward wrote:

Any marriage, not just a mixed marriage, is based on three things - a triangle if you will - LOVE, RESPECT & TRUST. If any one of those factors are missing a couple simply does not exist.

To love your partner, first you must also love yourself - have a feeling of self worth. Unless you have that self love you can not really love anyone else. You must understand too that love is not passion or attraction. Love is that deep rooted desire to be with someone simply because you want to be with them, not because you NEED to be with them. Love is that strong bond of friendship that conquers all barriers.

To respect someone again you must also have self-respect. Respect is not always easy because sometimes it also involves sacrifice. Sometimes we must make compromises out of respect for our partner. It is also a two way street, the respect must be mutual.

Trust is the most difficult of all to achieve since it grows over time, it's fragile and can easily be destroyed. Again it also depends on a certain level of self-trust. You must be confident in order to really trust.

If you have all three of these things then a marriage (mixed or otherwise) stands a decent chance of success. If not, it's doomed to failure. Just remember love is a seed that we plant. We nurture it and watch it grow. Once the flower blooms we must redouble our efforts in order to keep it alive and vibrant. That rose will wilt and die unless we constantly tend to the garden.

I am in a mixed marriage, it is mixed in every sence of the word - there is not only a cultural difference (I'm Canadian and she's Brazilian), but there is also a racial difference (I'm white, she's negro) and a vast difference in ages (I just turned 63, she will soon be 27). Luckily, we both have the same sentiments about love and marriage. We both are "good gardeners" and constantly work on building a strong relationship. Despite the fact that we face many prejudices and others who are simply thoughtless, we are strong. I have never been so happy in all my life, neither has she... the real beneficiary of all of this is our wonderful five year old son who is very happy, very much loved and has both a mother and father who are constantly present in his life. Before you go thinking that our relationship is based on money, wrong! I'm not wealthy, I work hard to earn a living and we just make it by. My wealth, the greates riches in this world can't buy. My wealth is my wife and son.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil Animator, Expat-blog

your words and thoughts is very well delivered ... plz help how if you are not only mixed marriage but also different religions .. that makes us "double-mixed-marriage" .. now i can say that i will do my best and continuously LOVE, RESPECT, and TRUST him ^^

that's all upon time.. even we have not meet yet hehehehhe

hmmmm, it's like asking what makes any marriage fail or sail? same reasons...there are no colours involved.

Well, there are mixed and mixed. I write a regular "column" on the web-forum Expat Focus (you can Google it) on the changing meaning of mixed marriages during my long lifetime. The link below was published on 16th June. Some might find it interesting.
expatfocus.com/c/aid=664/columnists/gordon-barlow/mixed-marriages-in-the-cayman-islands/

marrying someone from across the seas is much more interesting and exciting.

Primadonna wrote:

haggishunter wrote:

I'm feeling kinda scared for when hubby finally comes home.
We been apart 27 months, married 16 months. I have not had a chance to be his wife yet, and we going to have to 'court' all over again.

Wow, that must be hard for you two.
But you can see it also from the bright side: you can start dating again!

Lolz... yeah that can be a benefit of being apart

I guess its always difficult to adapt other cultures but on the same time you give room to your spouse to adapt things and in this situation u ignore minor things that are noticed when both know the culture well...

Hi all,
yes,Mixed marriages is very great also I'm Thinking about it.
       Thanks
        yaklef

A successful marriage requires falling in love
many times, always with the same person.
All marriges are happy. It's the living together afterwards that causes trouble.

It is all depends on your personal feelings and your sacrifices for mutual harmony. Remember that love is most powerful weapon in this world you can fight any challenge in your life if your love is true.

Dont give up. oh and dont teach the in laws english...i been at it for 4 yrs

To make it sail, respect and accept each others belief, culture, and family. Im saying this based on my experience. Good luck

Two Gentlemen from Verona, Henry V and a Merchant from Venice would all agree; love is blind.
Skin colour makes no actual difference to a good relationship but there can be strains because there are mindless, bigoted idiots in this world that object because they're too stupid to know; people are just people, regardless of skin colour, race, religion or anything else.

if they are not enougth in love!

Asking if a mixed marriage will succeed or fail is like asking will the world end tomorrow. Where there is love, respect, trust and acceptance/understanding a relationship will succeed. I myself am in a 'mixed' marriage. For me I wouldn't see it any other way. The experience is amazing. So I guess it 'sails?'





Matt V. - Manaus, Amazonas, Brasil
Visit my Personal Blog - brazilbs.blogspot.com

Well I bet I can find a person or group of people that tell you it would, it seems there are more and more of them these days.

Anyways, what I was saying is that asking if a mixed marriage will work is impossible to answer. For some it will, for some it won't. It depends on a variety of circumstances.





Matt V. - Manaus, Amazonas, Brasil
Visit my Personal Blog - brazilbs.blogspot.com

Matt. The thing about "mixed marriages" is that "mixed" can mean so many things - mixed race, mixed nationalities, mixed religions, mixed personal backgrounds, mixed interests, even. There is not the slightest reason why mixed-race marriages should be any more difficult than mixed anything-else. In fact, "mixed social class" may well be the hardest to succeed at.

My marriage has overcome a mixed work-ethic: my wife is a workaholic, I'm a lazy bugger. So far, so good, though. Earlier this month I wrote a blog on being a housefather, which I cleverly titled, "On being a housefather". Some ExpatBlog members might be interested in reading it.
http://barlowscayman.blogspot.com/2013/ … ather.html

Well then, I can officially say I am in a true mixed relationship (marriage.) About the only thing that is not mixed is religion.

I have to say, the HARDEST class of 'mixed' would be social class for me, without question. And this has always been one of my biggest issues. I come from a very developed country, established family and well educated. I never had to worry about basic necessities in life. Here in Brazil it couldn't be more different. I hear stories of my spouse searching for food, going without food as a child. I enjoy going out to nice restaurants and splurging - my spouse doesn't enjoy that because and I quote 'It is where the rich people go.' It will be a struggle, but we are slowly adapting.

Very good insight.

PS - I just now saw you indicated social class is the most difficult. I am glad we agree on that. Race isn't an issue and never was.






Matt V. - Manaus, Amazonas, Brasil
Visit my Personal Blog - brazilbs.blogspot.com

The hardest one is mixing a man and a woman.

But if you get the right mix then all is good....

Any marriage, not just a mixed marriage, is based on three things - a triangle if you will - LOVE, RESPECT & TRUST. If any one of those factors are missing a couple simply does not exist.

i agree,
today mixed mariage or not, gay mariage or not,
only love respect and trust are important.

I'm the muffin man

Thanks for the visual haha

stumpy wrote:

I'm the muffin man

I like a good muffin.

any marriage is complicated and adjusting to one another is always a challenge and surpassing that challenge will bring great joy and happiness. now if one enters into a mixed marriages, then i guess the challenge becomes a hundred times more difficult and therefore a successful mixed marriage will bring much greater happiness

hi Sanay,

you didn't update us how its going with your new life,and new atmosphere,how are you coping up with the languages etc,sorry for late reply,I'm married to Indian for the past 20 years and I am very happy with my family here!!

sheila

love - understanding - respect

I believe mixed marriages are great! It connects two different cultures together to fill in the gaps in misunderstanding. Besides, kids are born very cute and eventually become smart!

I should say, ego is a major problem,if anyone has ego

HaileyinHongKong wrote:

Ruslan27 wrote:

Besides, kids are born very cute and eventually become smart!

If only that were universally true.

Sadly, it isn't true but mixed race kids have many advantages in some areas of the world.
In Indonesia, Indos (The product of a usually white foreigner and a local), tend to be in demand for soap operas.

i think it is always better to stay away from the husband or wife family. couples will be able to live independently without interference.

yes i love the idea as it gives a proper understanding of another new culture of your spouse.  And for the kids, they are born cute, beautiful and of mixed blood

freshy234, great thoughts of yours. i love the same. blend of two ....everything.

The same things that apply to any marriage, bar cultural differences.

The différence in culture i think and families compréhension is hard

HaileyinHongKong wrote:

Ruslan27 wrote:

Besides, kids are born very cute and eventually become smart!

If only that were universally true.

The product of mixed race couples isn't always cute and smart. Cuteness comes both from parents (if they are naturally good-looking or at least pleasant looking), and smartness is hereditary. But in most cases, a mixed race often produce a unique, beautifully blend of two. (Just don't mix a chinese with any race, i've seen lots and they are never cuter. Just my POV, not a racist:)

True

WJW ,

im agree with you

it is racism and discrimination that makes marriage fail

Karimah wrote:

it is racism and discrimination that makes marriage fail

I cannot agree with that.
Where would racism and discrimination come into a mixed marriage.

Lack of love, understanding and mutual respect maybe.