Bad experience and so angry !!!!

Personally I try to follow the saying "When in Rome do as the Romans do." I can relate to how you feel, I used to get mad at my ex wife who left vietnam at 18 and lived in America for 15 years when I met her and would tell me "That is not how we do it in Vietnam."

Hey! Get over it! No matter where you go, there are assholes of every different colors, creed, or nationalities.

My mother in law who is Vietnamese also thinks all the rich Vietnamese in our area are robbers. She is 68

There's always one rotten apple out of the lot of 100 apples. Sorry to hear you bit into the wrong apple.

Some people are not mature enough? Don't let it get to you and move on. Where there are people, there will be conflicts. I think it is very typical to think rich people are robbers.

VungTauDon wrote:

My mother in law who is Vietnamese also thinks all the rich Vietnamese in our area are robbers. She is 68

I think all rich people someway somehow at some point stole something from ME!

Bastiges!! All of them!

Those always one that ruins the bunch

share for you - it's very bad to hear that
we are the same exprence about the American! - special the meaning Rich and Poor they are
.! hix

To be honest, it's 50-50, sometimes you can meet narrow minded expats, who came here only because apparently "it's easy for a white guy to get Asian girls", they complain about our country, yet refuse to fking leave because they earn much more money here teaching english (oh yea, many with no qualification and are not native speakers, I shall just paint myself white, it makes things easier, lol). No offence to those who do professional jobs that Viet people can't do due to lack in skills and that. On the other  hand, there are many nice expats that love the country even more than Viet people do. Just your luck I guess, give them a review on tripadvisor and spread the words, they will change their attitude soon enough x

I think too. you are a great girl.

AnnieDuong wrote:

To be honest, it's 50-50, sometimes you can meet narrow minded expats, who came here only because apparently "it's easy for a white guy to get Asian girls", they complain about our country, yet refuse to fking leave because they earn much more money here teaching english (oh yea, many with no qualification and are not native speakers, I shall just paint myself white, it makes things easier, lol). No offence to those who do professional jobs that Viet people can't do due to lack in skills and that. On the other  hand, there are many nice expats that love the country even more than Viet people do. Just your luck I guess, give them a review on tripadvisor and spread the words, they will change their attitude soon enough x

+1 for the above.

In my 16 months in Vietnam I have met a lot of expats who do embarass me when I see them behaving in front of Vietnamese people. Just remember that the percentage of those nasty, ignorant, highly opinionated westerners will be higher here as Vietnam can be seen as an escape for some.

There are always more good eggs than bad. Try not to presume their ignorance and dishonesty stems from their skin colour or nationality. As Nashcat said, assholes are everywhere.

If you really want to see some bad-mannered, opinionated, ignorant, foul-mouthed, moronic westerners you should come to the US.  We have too many here.

haha....so true

Damn, i thought that would be a nice country to move to haha

I am sorry you had that experience . I assure you we are not all like that but arrogance is a problem I see here in USA . I dont think anyone should be impolite when visiting your country where English is not the only language ? I met my wife in Philippines and love it there . They people from Vietnam too seem ver kind and polite to tourists . Please accept my appology for this `experience.

I'm sorry for your bad experience, but a lot of American have superiority complex. My mother-in-law's still amazed that there are cars here. Where I come from, everyone still thinks Vietnamese only uses bicycles.

Don't let them get you down. Most of them are ill-informed but really nice. Some of them are arrogant bastards; pay no mind to them. It's hard adjusting to new and unfamiliar surroundings (as I'm quickly finding out).

Like everyone else says, don't let it get to you too much. Arrogant bastards are all around the world. You'll go crazy if you let everyone of them get to you.

I've experienced something similar when visiting friends in Thailand. The expats there can be similarly arrogant. Most of them don't even have a job but talk bad about the industrious natives while not being willing to study the native tongue at the same time.

However I can assure you not everybody is like that and the majority of expats are people that value Vietnam and the Vietnamese for the friendly and welcoming people they are. I think you actually no that since your boyfriend is America.

Sorry you had such a bad experience

This is not something new about westerners, especially Americans.  The term "Ugly Americans" dates back to, at least, the late 1950s.  I'm not sure if this is result of the US actions during WWII to help win that gave Americans a sense of superiority.  If that is the case it should be left to the actual men and women who fought that should feel proud but definitely not superior.  It can also be the endless flag-waving in the US that seems to implant a "we're-better-than-you" attitude in Americans.  Unfortunately, it is usually the less intelligent that act on this false bravado.  The best thing to do, I believe, is to look upon them as petulant children that do not know their place with adults.  You can remind them that it is better to "get along" with a smile instead of an attitude.

Most long term expats usually enjoy the countries that they live in and make the effort to learn the culture. I've found that it is usually the new expats that seem to cause problems and don't usually last very long.

AQM22 wrote:

I'm sorry for your bad experience, but a lot of American have superiority complex.

Really? And no other ethnicity does?

A slight correction.  People of many countries may have a superiority complex.  Americans have a SUPERIORITY COMPLEX.

perry88 wrote:

This is not something new about westerners, especially Americans.  The term "Ugly Americans" dates back to, at least, the late 1950s.  I'm not sure if this is result of the US actions during WWII to help win that gave Americans a sense of superiority.  If that is the case it should be left to the actual men and women who fought that should feel proud but definitely not superior.  It can also be the endless flag-waving in the US that seems to implant a "we're-better-than-you" attitude in Americans.  Unfortunately, it is usually the less intelligent that act on this false bravado.  The best thing to do, I believe, is to look upon them as petulant children that do not know their place with adults.  You can remind them that it is better to "get along" with a smile instead of an attitude.

You obviously didn't wear a uniform..... or had your boot's on Iraqi or Afghanistan soil. did you?..... so very easy for you to write this huh....?

That is really so intelligent of you to decipher that I was not in the military or served in a war zone.  May I ask what part of my post gave you that information?

Perry L., USAF
Pleiku AB, Central Highlands
Dec 1967-December, 1968

...US 2nd Marine Division second Battalion Camp Lejeune.... You do not undermine our service our commitment under any circumstance..... You Stand down now....!!!

perry88 wrote:

That is really so intelligent of you to decipher that I was not in the military or served in a war zone.  May I ask what part of my post gave you that information?

Perry L., USAF
Pleiku AB, Central Highlands
Dec 1967-December, 1968

You weren't a flyer were you Perry?

Thanks for being there and fought alongside us.

Couldn't flap my arms fast enough so I washed out.

Parmyd wrote:

Really? And no other ethnicity does?

Wow, a little defensive aren't we? I didn't mean that no other ethnicity has a superiority complex. Japan is probably worse than us. However, that doesn't apply here. I also said in my final statement "Arrogant bastards are all around the world." If I had added "with a superiority complex", would it sound better?

I love the good ol' US of A and will defend our fat egotistic a** til my last breath. However, for a country that boast freedom and superiority, we are very ill-informed especially about developing countries like this one. Don't even get me started on our supposed "freedom". Like I said, people whom I love and respect dearly wanted me to bring a satellite phone so I have a way to contacting them while I'm here. They were surprise to see cars here. They were surprised that my $300 apartment is almost as nice as a lot of the $1000 apartment at home.

I don't have too much experience for reference, but from talking to a lot of people around the world, especially those from first world countries, we, American, (even some American agree with me on this) don't know much about the outside world beyond our white picket fence.

AQM22 wrote:

[, we, American, (even some American agree with me on this) don't know much about the outside world beyond our white picket fence.

No disagreement from me wrt to that statement. I'm guessing that when you are repeatedly told "you're number 1" from the day you're born...there isn't much reason to learn or be curious about another culture.

Europeans on the other hand are much more worldly than those raised in America.

Who has time to learn about anything these days when there are 400 channels on TV airing complete utter crap, right?

Oh, and to the service members on this post, Thank you for your service whenever you served. If I could, I'd buy y'all a beer.

Cheers.

perry88 wrote:

Couldn't flap my arms fast enough so I washed out.

Less chance of visiting the Hanoi Hilton that way though!

Thanks for your all comments. I read people sent comment about my post everyday but I didn't say anything because I wanted to listen. I know that not all is bad and not all is good. I didn't say all American is bad. I just wanted to share my experience and my comment to all expats (all nationalities). Please don't bring colors, skins, nationalities, religions to comments. It could makes everything seems worse. I love all you guys.
Once again, As I said, I don't hate that guy (who I met) at all. I just felt upset and angry because his attitude. I hope he will understand and respect where he live and people around him. I am sure if he keeps that attitude. Sooner or later, he will make his own trouble.
Take care,
Love you all
LT