Why do VN's stare at Foreigners VN wive's?

This is what people tell me.  I'm gay, I'm totally outside this.  I have a friend here with a village GF and another in TPHCM with a GF from an upper class northern family. 

How can one distinguish?  Easy.  How long can they speak without breaking into that hysterical yelling?

My wife often gets stares and comments from locals who cannot understand why she lets her skin go so brown, why she wears no jewelry,  and why she normally wears a traditional straw hat, flip-flops, and casual clothes.  The idea seems to be:  "you're good-looking, married to a rich, older foreigner--why don't you conform to our image of what you SHOULD look like once you have access to the  cash?"  (Of course, I am quick to point out to anyone who speaks English and will listen, that she is the one with the money and I am the one with the charm...)

richiv wrote:

My wife often gets stares and comments from locals who cannot understand why she lets her skin go so brown, why she wears no jewelry,  and why she normally wears a traditional straw hat, flip-flops, and casual clothes.  The idea seems to be:  "you're good-looking, married to a rich, older foreigner--why don't you conform to our image of what you SHOULD look like once you have access to the  cash?"  (Of course, I am quick to point out to anyone who speaks English and will listen, that she is the one with the money and I am the one with the charm...)

I like her already.

richiv wrote:

My wife often gets stares and comments from locals who cannot understand why she lets her skin go so brown, why she wears no jewelry,  and why she normally wears a traditional straw hat, flip-flops, and casual clothes.  The idea seems to be:  "you're good-looking, married to a rich, older foreigner--why don't you conform to our image of what you SHOULD look like once you have access to the  cash?"  (Of course, I am quick to point out to anyone who speaks English and will listen, that she is the one with the money and I am the one with the charm...)

The lady obviously has got CLASS !

Not just wife! They stare whenever they see a Vietnamese female with foreign man, doesn't matter when you guys are just co-workers, friends.

Sometimes they talk to each other loudly so that I can hear as well (don't wanna mention becoz they are rude comments about my body and guessing why I'm with a western guy), my reactions either "oh, bite me!" or "who gives a *beep* what you think?".

I often get asked from the people I barely know like this: "Where did you get this guy?". Sounds as if my man is some "stuff".

I mean no offence but speaking of staring, the Vietnamese cannot beat the Indian. The Indian can stare at you non-stop with their eyes wide open, even when you know they're staring at you and look at them, they just don't stop. I always wonder why, any input?

aibiet150204 wrote:

Just a question, how Vietnam people know she is the Vietnam WIFE of the foreigner? I got the feeling that they stare at me and my man-foreign-colleague everytime I take one around the city when they visit the office - Yah, we are neither couple nor spouse

My wife and I wear wedding rings and I call her "Vo yeu", so that's a pretty good giveaway.

Nam_ wrote:

ancientpathos wrote:

When it is the women staring I just assume they wish it was them I was with. With the men I also assume they wish they were with my girl.

LOL. It must be really nice living in Your World. Pretty cozy in there huh?

My world is always happiest when I focus on the positive. The negative is no fun.

Ngan Khanh wrote:

I mean no offence but speaking of staring, the Vietnamese cannot beat the Indian. The Indian can stare at you non-stop with their eyes wide open, even when you know they're staring at you and look at them, they just don't stop. I always wonder why, any input?

Which model Indian are you talking about , the Nth American model, or the Punjab type one?, the latter probably has vast experience from watching that cobra????

bluenz, in re:

Which model Indian are you talking about , the Nth American model, or the Punjab type one

Or, as my nephew would say: Dot or Feather?

ps: Disclaimer: This is not meant as an offence to anyone. I am aware that not all Subcontinentals wear dots, and Indian in that context speaks to a civilization that includes many ethnicities and religions.

When they stare at me I just say chụp đi.  Take a picture.

ChrisFox wrote:

When they stare at me I just say chụp đi.  Take a picture.

I don't usually have to say that,  most of the time they ask, trouble is, they want to be in the photo as well. ( sometimes it's annoying being one of few foreigners somewhere, )

bluenz wrote:

ChrisFox wrote:

When they stare at me I just say chụp đi.  Take a picture.

I don't usually have to say that,  most of the time they ask, trouble is, they want to be in the photo as well. ( sometimes it's annoying being one of few foreigners somewhere, )

While in Quang Ngai everyone wanted their picture taken with me. Moms would bring their baby's for me to hold and take a picture.

bluenz wrote:

Ngan Khanh wrote:

I mean no offence but speaking of staring, the Vietnamese cannot beat the Indian. The Indian can stare at you non-stop with their eyes wide open, even when you know they're staring at you and look at them, they just don't stop. I always wonder why, any input?

Which model Indian are you talking about , the Nth American model, or the Punjab type one?, the latter probably has vast experience from watching that cobra????

An Indian is someone from India.  Americans now recognize that Christopher Columbus was a moron when he thought he landed in "India" and labeled the indigenous population "Indians".  Now Americans specifically say "Native Americans" or for those who can't get past the "Cowboys and Indians" thing, they use "American Indians".

So "INDIAN" by itself are people from India.

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

bluenz wrote:

Ngan Khanh wrote:

I mean no offence but speaking of staring, the Vietnamese cannot beat the Indian. The Indian can stare at you non-stop with their eyes wide open, even when you know they're staring at you and look at them, they just don't stop. I always wonder why, any input?

Which model Indian are you talking about , the Nth American model, or the Punjab type one?, the latter probably has vast experience from watching that cobra????

An Indian is someone from India.  Americans now recognize that Christopher Columbus was a moron when he thought he landed in "India" and labeled the indigenous population "Indians".  Now Americans specifically say "Native Americans" or for those who can't get past the "Cowboys and Indians" thing, they use "American Indians".

So "INDIAN" by itself are people from India.

That makes more sense,  would that mean Indians from Sth America would be Native Americans too, or just Sth American Indians, or Indigenous/Aboriginal people  Or should we stick to their tribal names, Aztec's, etc?

bluenz wrote:

ChrisFox wrote:

When they stare at me I just say chụp đi.  Take a picture.

I don't usually have to say that,  most of the time they ask, trouble is, they want to be in the photo as well. ( sometimes it's annoying being one of few foreigners somewhere, )

Cuz you're a Unicorn no one has ever seen before.  Plus how much you wanna bet after they take the picture, they go around showing it off to all their neighbors saying:

"LOOK AT MY FRIEND.  I have a WHITE friend...I'm so special."

Cuz I actually seen someone do that. "Who's that?" "My friend" (Friend?  You mean you play hoops with him?  I'm thinking to myself, he's probably just a White guy you walked up to and took a picture with right?)

Kind of like how I take pictures with Barrack Obama and go around saying "Look at my friend.  I'm friends with the President....I'm so special!"

Yah, Barry and I...we're like two peas in a pod.


We go way back...hey man, you got the car?  No I thought you got the car!


Way way way back...Who's that creepy man that keeps following us Mommy?


Further back...Hey don't fart on your mom there kid.


The farthest way back when we were two peas in a pod...Hey when we get outta here, lets go play some hoops?  Okay

bluenz wrote:

ChrisFox wrote:

When they stare at me I just say chụp đi.  Take a picture.

I don't usually have to say that,  most of the time they ask, trouble is, they want to be in the photo as well. ( sometimes it's annoying being one of few foreigners somewhere, )

Few years ago a plant place selling Tết flowers, once it was over, stopped watering the unsold ones and said come help yourselves.  One night we went a grabbed a bunch.  A half dozen people came running over and stared at us like bleedin' owls.  Not doing anything.   Just staring like we were a juggling act.  Could people be that bored?

I think that the VN inquisitive nature over rules their sense of good judgement and etiquette.

Solo1 wrote:

I think that the VN inquisitive nature over rules their sense of good judgement and etiquette.

Kind of reminds me of the monkeys at the zoo , when they come up close to you, near the bars.

bluenz wrote:

Solo1 wrote:

I think that the VN inquisitive nature over rules their sense of good judgement and etiquette.

Kind of reminds me of the monkeys at the zoo , when they come up close to you, near the bars.

I'm not sure that I would use that exact correlation but I get your point.

Solo1 wrote:

I think that the VN inquisitive nature over rules their sense of good judgement and etiquette.

This isn't inquisitiveness, it looks like unadulterated recording.  I look at things that attract my attention, I don't widen my eyes and suppress my blink reflex.

I could understand being out in some village where nobody has ever seen a westerner, but this is Cần Thơ.

ChrisFox wrote:

Solo1 wrote:

I think that the VN inquisitive nature over rules their sense of good judgement and etiquette.

This isn't inquisitiveness, it looks like unadulterated recording.  I look at things that attract my attention, I don't widen my eyes and suppress my blink reflex.

I could understand being out in some village where nobody has ever seen a westerner, but this is Cần Thơ.

Would you feel better if I said that they were crude, rude, insensitive and uneducated? Or do you have other adjectives that better define their actions?

Solo1 wrote:

ChrisFox wrote:

Solo1 wrote:

I think that the VN inquisitive nature over rules their sense of good judgement and etiquette.

This isn't inquisitiveness, it looks like unadulterated recording.  I look at things that attract my attention, I don't widen my eyes and suppress my blink reflex.

I could understand being out in some village where nobody has ever seen a westerner, but this is Cần Thơ.

Would you feel better if I said that they were crude, rude, insensitive and uneducated? Or do you have other adjectives that better define their actions?

Solo1, you're back!  Or are you still Stateside?

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

Solo1 wrote:

ChrisFox wrote:

This isn't inquisitiveness, it looks like unadulterated recording.  I look at things that attract my attention, I don't widen my eyes and suppress my blink reflex.

I could understand being out in some village where nobody has ever seen a westerner, but this is Cần Thơ.

Would you feel better if I said that they were crude, rude, insensitive and uneducated? Or do you have other adjectives that better define their actions?

Solo1, you're back!  Or are you still Stateside?

Been back for a week and just getting over the jet lag. My 3rd one way 30+ hour trip this year and it really kicks my arss! Thanks for the welcome back (I think!! Ha!!)

Solo1 wrote:

Would you feel better if I said that they were crude, rude, insensitive and uneducated? Or do you have other adjectives that better define their actions?

I'm not taking this bait. 

I might stare like that if I saw a demonstration of real telekinesis but two guys loading plants into a wheelbarrow, no.

I think VN is still very conservative and maybe behind the times some may say. I have lived in Mexico and Thailand of which I found both countries to be more accepting of a Caucasian male with a usually younger and attractive national.

I try to remember that other people's opinion of me is none of my business. I also admit that there are occasions when it does rub me the wrong way.

The whole topic is the same as today's social media. Upload a photo, someone looks at it. They like it or they don't. One minute later that photo is forgotten and another photo takes it's place. And on and on it goes. VN folk staring at mixed race couples is not a long term sight. 15 seconds/1 minute.
Then a minute later there might be a dog to look at or a bike riding too close. Foreigners remember it because we are the 'photo' of interest at that moment in time.

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

bluenz wrote:

ChrisFox wrote:

When they stare at me I just say chụp đi.  Take a picture.

I don't usually have to say that,  most of the time they ask, trouble is, they want to be in the photo as well. ( sometimes it's annoying being one of few foreigners somewhere, )

Cuz you're a Unicorn no one has ever seen before.  Plus how much you wanna bet after they take the picture, they go around showing it off to all their neighbors saying:

"LOOK AT MY FRIEND.  I have a WHITE friend...I'm so special."

Cuz I actually seen someone do that. "Who's that?" "My friend" (Friend?  You mean you play hoops with him?  I'm thinking to myself, he's probably just a White guy you walked up to and took a picture with right?)

Kind of like how I take pictures with Barrack Obama and go around saying "Look at my friend.  I'm friends with the President....I'm so special!"

Yah, Barry and I...we're like two peas in a pod.
http://s22.postimg.org/7aiin1zip/thdobama1.jpg

We go way back...hey man, you got the car?  No I thought you got the car!
http://s11.postimg.org/dhwr6gt7n/thdobama2.jpg

Way way way back...Who's that creepy man that keeps following us Mommy?
http://s21.postimg.org/ux49wcm9j/thdobama3.jpg

Further back...Hey don't fart on your mom there kid.
http://s8.postimg.org/a364lix05/thdobama4.jpg

The farthest way back when we were two peas in a pod...Hey when we get outta here, lets go play some hoops?  Okay
http://s23.postimg.org/gpzrmpwgr/thdobama5.jpg

Hey THD,
Seems you and Barry were friends since his conception.Any chance of chasing up his original birth certificate for me?

Solo1 wrote:

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

Solo1, you're back!  Or are you still Stateside?

Been back for a week and just getting over the jet lag. My 3rd one way 30+ hour trip this year and it really kicks my arss! Thanks for the welcome back (I think!! Ha!!)

Well, if you were still Stateside, I'd hit you up for a football since Wild_1 is delayed due to surgery/rehab on his knee.  I think he's coming back during Tết Nguyên Đán.

Yes yes, I know you offered.

But since you're in Việt Nam , then welcome back! 

Bluenz, reference your comment on Indians in Latin America.

"Indio" is a cultural term and considered derogatory in the vast majority of Latin countries. Indios are people who speak an indigenous language, mix their catholicism with indigenous beliefs, and live within an indigenous community, which can be a family unit within a large city. Blood percentage has no relation to who is an Indian, since most Latin-Americans share those same genes.

To avoid the word Indio, their Spanish speaking socio-economic betters refer to them as 'campesinos', serranos (from the Sierra), and other such terms.

Vietnam's a bit similar. If you were born there, speak, read, and write Vietnamese, dress Vietnamese, and practice a Vietnamese religion (including catholic), then you are Vietnamese even if your parents are ethnic Khmer, Cham or Rhade. If you hold on to the old ways, you are an ethnic Khmer or whatever.

Nahuatl is still spoken in a few small areas in Mexico; there are a few English words from it, like coyote.

It has to be one of the most difficult languages in the world

Chris, yes, spoken in Mexico State, but in place names as far south as Nicaragua. Fail to buy one of those little Indian girl dolls from the old ladies hawking them on the sidewalk outside the Embassy, and you'll hear some of its cuss words. The best Nahuatl dictionary was published in French and translated into Spanish. The author was one Remi Simeon. My copy was published in Mexico by Siglo Veintiuno and purchased in the Manuel Porrua bookstore at 5 de Mayo # 49 if you ever get there.

..

We had one gentleman stop us and ask how old I was. I told her she should have said " I don't know, and I don't care, all I know is that he is rich".

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

You feel like you're a unicorn don't you?

I always scream the line "I'm foreign, not a unicorn!" when someone stares too much even for Viet standards. I live for their reactions to that.

I glare back and say "chụp đi," take a picture

ChrisFox wrote:

I glare back and say "chụp đi," take a picture

I get sick of being constantly asked, ' what's your name? ', so I quickly ask them back, ' what is YOUR name?, they never seem to ask a second time,  ' how old, are you ?, ( or how are you, can't tell the difference most of the time ),  gets the same treatment, unfortunately VN's don't realise how disrespectful this question can be, ( stand back 30 paces if you ask a Foreign women ).

I get asked  where I'm from, nothing else, never been asked my name.

I get tired of kids going "Hello!!" because I know it's the only word they know.  It was cute the few few hundred thousand times.

milkybunnyHCM wrote:

Tran Hung Dao wrote:

You feel like you're a unicorn don't you?

I always scream the line "I'm foreign, not a unicorn!" when someone stares too much even for Viet standards. I live for their reactions to that.

It's so easily fixed without stress or anger.
Just walk up and shake their hand.Done that myself numerous times(when person and place was appropriate) and it feels good.
They seem awed by my friendliness and I feel good I've made their day.

ChrisFox wrote:

I get asked  where I'm from, nothing else, never been asked my name.

I get tired of kids going "Hello!!" because I know it's the only word they know.  It was cute the few few hundred thousand times.

Now they answer the phone with that loud ' Ello ' , I think they are yelling out to me sometimes.
   In the Phils it was always, ' Hi Joe ", I would sometimes tell them I'm not American, I'm a Kiwi, big mistake, Kiwi is a brand of shoe nugget there, ( I see it is also a knife here, made in Thailand ), another copyright infringement.

Call me odd, but all the things you all hate I enjoy about being in Vietnam. But I must admit the better half dislikes the same things directed at me. Why, I don't know.