Male Egyptian Mentality To Marriage - Help Me Understand Please

Hi Chuckle_butty  I think the fact alone that you had to foot the bill the whole time whilst on holiday speaks for itself.

My Egyptian son in law is offended if you offer to pay for even a cup of coffee.

I don't mind paying my way but there is absolutely no way I would have kept him.

Regards
Sandra

Hiya Sandra,

Thank you for your comment - it's honestly a relief to know that I'm not selfish. I was thinking that maybe I was being unfair. I have no problem with a 50/50 situation, I am prepared to pay my way - but I think that I built a rod for my own back by paying the first time, d'oh.

I'm still waiting for an Egyptian gentleman to answer my few questions though....I know that you are out there....

Thank you,

Chuckles.

Please be aware that marriage fraud is a biiiig and well organised business in Hurghada and Sharm. These guys are well informed about the procedures and the cost - but don't worry, YOU are going to pay
There are several sites informing about this issue like http://www.beznessalert.com/beznessblog/?p=582 and there are endless blacklists of egyptian men.

Stay away from this man and let me go so far to say - any man in Hurghada!

in Egypt, if the man wants truly to be your husband will introduce you to his family and pay all the expenses. It is not within Egyptian culture to make  a woman pay for even a coffee. It would be something very shameful on the man.

If he is 43 , he is probably already married, or at least has children.

If I were you I would run miles away from this guy.

If you need any help , please contact me privately.

Caty in Cairo wrote:

Please be aware that marriage fraud is a biiiig and well organised business in Hurghada and Sharm. These guys are well informed about the procedures and the cost - but don't worry, YOU are going to pay
There are several sites informing about this issue like http://www.beznessalert.com/beznessblog/?p=582 and there are endless blacklists of egyptian men.

Stay away from this man and let me go so far to say - any man in Hurghada!

Lol

I no think that Egyptian men will reply to your post , lol
But you must know that most of Egyptian men want marry from European to take visa and they already know about costs and exams , they sleep and start dreams when will move here , lol

Hello Butty,

let me start with this "let's just put everything in place" . yes some men would think of this way to guarantee a visa (in more accurate words ,to escape from here) because of the current unstable economic situation,and definitely everybody here is just inspired by Europe as the ultimate paradigm (sorry but this is not true actually),anyway i am just analyzing the issue and not justifying this behavior,definitely i totally reject it.. BUT doesn't mean it's a typical behavior for Egyptian men whom you are going to encounter,and even if any of them offered again to marry you,just take it on it's own and never generalize.

Personally i know many successful marriage stories between egyptian men and foreigners ,There even exist some of them here and hopefully they see this topic and pass by to say something.

and of course when it comes to someone (regardless of being egyptian or whatever else) who makes you pay for everything,you don't have to wait and ask if this is a typical egyptian behavior.  telling you that eventually you will love him is nothing but some sort of psychological pressure or artificial romance he is trying with you .

Bottom line, undesired behaviors whenever noticed shall be disregarded (Egyptian,korean,german,italian,whatever,even from Mars)

Thank you for your help.

I would like to thank all the Egyptian gentlemen who have replied to me via Private Message; your insights are of great value and I would like thank you all for your advice and understanding.

Your comments have made sense and some of you have given me an almost police-like profile, which is uncomfortably accurate.

I would also like to thank everyone who has responded to my question - you are an amazing group of "friends", I am lucky to have so many people to help and support me.

Yours gratefully,

Chuckles.

you are welcome ) any time

Hi Chuckles,

Good of you that you are alert!
I`d speak much about stories i heard etc. but the mainstream Egyptian will never be a scoundrel , and he will usually pay for anything, and specially as you are a foreginer he will try to show off how gentle he is.  !

I hope you have a nice stay in Egypt.

Hello,

I do believe that there are scammers from all sides, not only egyptians. but i also believe that the woman will not allow a man to deceive her if she doesnt want. women come to hurghada and shall for the egyptian guys, and they know sure the egyptian culture. so they have to control their feelings..

Wish u the best in egypt, far from egyptian scammers

I've never heard such a load of rubbish!!!

looks someone is experiencing  bad days in Hurghada
Comparing "Egyptian Mentality" to "Hurghada/Sharm Love trolls mentality" isn`t just correct.
Egyptians aren`t all  Europe/U.S visa aspirants, rich wanna be coming from poor roots (by poor i mean socially sick and not just economically).

I work in a Diving company actually the biggest in Egypt "commercial diving"... like 250 diver we have... some of them are from Hurghada /sharm  telling stories of how they fool foreginers etc. , have X affairs.  those aren`t thieves they are Low-mentality Egyptians if you can get my point.


I was in Sharm el Sheikh only once, and in the Glimpse of an eye i can see Sun Tanned people working there... not even rude they are will represented and maybe polite!... many of those are Devious as hell, Yellow smileys i call them


If you don`t relaize that a poor 3rd world country "thats even poorer those days" , with very low literacy, and happened that the worst of its minority are attracted to "places of Touristic importance" like a damn Magnet. then maybe thats the reason behind your disturbance?

Enjoy your stay in Egypt.
Take Care.

sen mi your skype

If you have a comment, please post it here. Thank you

Haha you just have to laugh

Hi spiritstallion,

thank you for your comments. I realise that I was taken for a fool, fortunately, I have distanced myself from this person. Although we are still in contact, it is very rare that we Skype and only text two or three times a month.

looking back, I know when he decided to try his luck using "love" as a decoy.

that goodness I woke up before it was too late.

Chuckles.

You had a lucky escape chuckle_butty

Hello , he wants from you just money & visa... Egypt is poor country  and for the most of the people there you are 'rich'.  They don't have realistic view about our life in Europe , (Moderated: no generalised statement here please)
Englismen  are better choice believe me  .  good luck

I think you have had a very lucky escape.

99.9% of men are married way before they are 30 - that is the culture here and it wouldn't surprise me in the least if he is still married. And the first priority then is children straight away.
Maybe there us a chance that he may not want to come to europe - but for sure you would end up sending him alot of money for his sick uncle/father/mother - meaning his family - he would bleed you dry.
also understand that they also like western women because usually they work and contribute massively to the home - this is not the norm for Egyptian women who sit at home and breed; even if they have an education they don't work
if he did manage to go to the UK with you - again you would end up sending alot of money home - he would wish to come and visit back in Egypt many times without you to see his family.

Even at the age of 43 his mentality would normally be to marry someone much younger and have more kids.

Even if you had met his family - this is nothing. Unless you understand arabic very well how do you know what they are saying? And the family will tolerate you for the money you bring!! Harsh - but true.

I could go on and on.

My husband is Egyptian - we have been married 15 years, 3 children  years and met outside of Egypt.
when we lived in the UK we met a number of people married to Egyptian men and I am really sorry to say that not one of the men was honest.
My husband being Egyptian they thought he was doing the same thing as them and told him everything.
The ladies ranged from young 22 year olds to 50 year old ladies - and not one of them had a clue.
It was always a dilemma whether to warn the ladies or not - but in the end I always had to try.
Some listened - some insisted that their muhammed was different, and honestly lived to regret it.

some of the comments I make on this forum come across as negative - but they are not said just for fun - it is my experience over the years before I was married and during my marriage.

There are some good ones out there but I would say they are few and far between - and the majority are not met in Hurghada/Sharm.

magedmm wrote:

Hello,

I do believe that there are scammers from all sides, not only egyptians. but i also believe that the woman will not allow a man to deceive her if she doesnt want. women come to hurghada and shall for the egyptian guys, and they know sure the egyptian culture. so they have to control their feelings..

Wish u the best in egypt, far from egyptian scammers

let me add to your words that huge number of  british ladies in 50s and 60s  are married to young egyptian men
scammers are from all sides

i can confirm that most of european women are more emotionally than egyptian women and they believe easily to some extent words of love that egyptian men can decieve them with 
but its not true that only egyptian men use european women, i saw many example european women decieve egyptian men, specially those old searching for new adventure by their money using poor egyptian men with low standard of living and low education

There is nothing to help you to understand. It's simple... Don't marry someone from the 3rd world, who you intend to bring to the 1st world. In 99.9999% of cases, the intention is to obtain a way out of their country, and "marriage" is their only option. So once they've obtained the papers, they are off.

hmm its a little bit stupid to generalize...so lets be honest girls...egy man earns 100€ what u expect he will do with them?make u feel like a princes?hmm...stupid really...let me inform u...im happily married with egyptian, but at the begining of our relationship i was the one paying for the most(normal things like trips eating...)the next time i came we had agreement...he pays for the rental appartament me something else ecc..but ofcourse he never asked me money...i even get so far to pretend to offer him to send him money if he doesnt have...and his answer was.."what u think of me-of course no!!!"we live in a f** europe with man that earn more than us and still they sometimes wait us to pay for things...so with  commonsense u know what country u r comming to...u r not going to find a shaik so get in mind he will not take u to fine restaurantes 2 weeks when u r there...i will say...being realistic is normal just dont be stupid! u can see ur man intentions true other things...like...when i was talking with my man it was usually trough viber, skype ecc...sometimes when he didnt have connection i called him from the regular line and he said to me no dont spend money let me go in internet caffe ecc...bout picturees"hange the profile pictures" delite men" ecc its a normal thing almost every egyptian will try...my husband did too but i talked to him explin him things...and eventually i will say if he loves u he will be happy to make compromises..u must understand its a diferent world and for them to see u on ur profile picture with "boobs out" short pants ecc is like u seing a man naked on profile picture...but as i said i explained my bf than ...now my husband that i dont want to be changed, but ofcourse i will respect his coulture and country and when we were in his town i wear modes conservative clothes...in some parts even wear hijb(cover my hair)to end the conversation i would say any women asking advice is just pretending to asking...everywomen knows in her hearth what r the true intentions of a mn...but just trying to find an excuse...use brains if u r 50 and he 30 of course its not love!!! if he ask  u to send him money ...its a big red light too!!

what a battle is going here between 1st & 3rd  world !!!

in the true love there is no place for the 1st or 3rd ..... black or white..... rich & poor ...etc

but the true love is the hard currency in this days .

my dear ..... forget about this man .....cos... he is not a true man too .

hello
interesting post , despite it is very old

for me , I believe that it should be an alarm when the man ask for money

I don't live or work in sharm or hutgada , but , as I had read and heard many times before (and aso seen during trips to hurgada)  , guys who work in tourism in sharm and hurgada , are known with playing with foreigner women ........ sex and money

i don't like generalization , but most of these guys work in lower jobs , and they come from poor and low social background

hi, no sure you get this message or get to read it but everything you describe is not way happen with me, if you can i would love to talk to you of this matter . *** would like to speak with you on this subject

I married  Egyptian man he turned out to be a scammer he scammed me for 5years but I'm fighting to get my money back he a cheat a Lier so deceitful it's a disgrace he will sleep with anyone for money

Omg how scarey, your boyfriend said exactly what mine did at the time we were dsting " you will learn to love me" seems like they got this down to a tee.  Im in the middle of an anullment as we speak and it is not fun. He left me three weeks ago. When i went to egypt he payed for everything, but look what happened to me, so i wouldnt take that as an indicstor either. Run as far away as possile. I wish i would have heeded everyones warnings about egyptian men scams .but you live and learn and i am paying a heavy price for it. I am hurting so badly now.

I am 50 and he is 36 he has introduced me to his family the family all love  me I spend much time there we go places fun to gardens and ect. Never will he let me pay for anything  .

My ex Egyptian husbands family loved me too but he still wanted a divorce when he got his passport. He is now in Egypt arranging a new marriage to a younger woman.

Hi huckle_butty,

Sorry for your experience.

Like any other place, there are good and bad people.

In recent years, economics in Egypt had a lot of ups and downs. So, yes many people are struggling living here and they think it's a paradise on the other side. So, many people want to travel to another country and because it's not easy to get a visa. So, one of the easiest ways is through marriage.

It's may also a regius thing, a lot of people here will not like to be in a relationship and have sex without religious marriage, it's haram.

What I'm trying to say, not all Egyptian men like the one you met. you may find also the most kind, honest gentlemen on earth here in Egypt.
Just you've to be patient. try to give it some time to know the person before you go deep in the relation.

I think you are asking the wrong question.

Why are you bothering with a man who has treated like a meal ticket once already and has been annoying you with his attention?

Consider how ridiculous the question : Please explain English or British men's attitude to marriage ?

It would never be asked because no one would assume a herd mentality but somehow Europeans often think that once in Africa, people stop being individuals and become some homogenous group. This is really deeply racist.

Likewise, assuming all women are the same, is deeply sexist.

However, a pattern that presents all over the world, is a poorer person wanting to latch onto a wealthier person. This is often assumed when a younger woman attaches herself to an ugly old man who is rich. Maybe she loves him....just like a younger man or poorer man attaches himself to a woman who might provide certain advantages, possibly a visa.

Unfortunately, there is a bizarre stereotype that is hard to escape: European women coming to Mediterranean or African countries for " holiday romances". Two points, when  European men do the same to African or local women in Asia, the exploitative aspect is quite obvious. But is it really different?
Secondly, the perception is that these women cannot get men in their own countries, and come here for some "fun and games".

Finally, my own view is that women who would not flirt with a man much lower down the economic or social ladder in their own countries, feel quite uninhibited doing it abroad.

I just simply have to reply to you all!! Regardless of where you are from the very first thing you should do is RESPECT yourself. You have to be independent and depend on yourself. The only thing free in this life is the air you breath other than that you have to work for what you want.

I’m English where the mentality is why work the government will pay for you. Everyone degraded themselves throwing themselves at the latest fashion. There is no respect. To be honest I’m ashamed at time’s of how society is. I’ve lived in Egypt for 10 years and society is more respectable don’t get me wrong there are still some people with low morals.

My point being everyone should take a step back and think about their actions. We should not judge! There is only one judge!
When you respect yourself and independent other people will respect you, as they can not take advantage of you. Nor can they whisper sweet words to you and expect you to fall in love with them because they are showing you affection.