and also in the news ......

Not been on the internet much today as I have a sore throat so I've been feeling a little horse.

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/ne … x/?ref=trn

Dear editor,
I would like to suggest you use a thicker line to separate your stories.

Fred wrote:

Dear editor,
I would like to suggest you use a thicker line to separate your stories.

https://c1.staticflickr.com/6/5518/3049 … f844_z.jpg

She's indeed a miss Grand 

Using phones whilst driving is dangerous.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-37795008

A US college student has crashed into a police car while taking a topless selfie behind the wheel, say officials.
Miranda Rader, 19, rear-ended the patrol vehicle while sending nude photos to her boyfriend through the social media app Snapchat, police say.

Farts are dangerous

http://www.thestar.com.my/news/regional … sly-burnt/

TOKYO: A patient's fart during a surgical procedure allegedly sparked a fire which caused her to be seriously burnt, the Tokyo Medical University Hospital in Shinjuku Ward said.

The incident was reported in Japanese newspaper Asahi Shimbun.

The fire occurred at the university hospital in Tokyo on April 15. The patient, in her 30s, was undergoing an operation, which involved applying a laser to her cervix, the lower part of the uterus.

The laser is believed to have been ignited by the gas she passed. The fire burned much of her body, including her waist and legs, the report said.

The fart or the laser 

The operation was a flop

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/c … 38397.html

Mangling a man’s penis during a botched illegal surgery will cost a Hialeah woman 40 months behind bars.

Nery Carvajal Gonzalez, 39, pleaded guilty on Wednesday for her role in two ill-fated penis enhancement procedures that took place inside a Hialeah warehouse in 2014 and 2015.

The woman is now in the custody of Miami-Dade Corrections. The irony didn't escape me.

What I want to know is, what was the copper doing down there?

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-37946055

I'm very multicultural as far as eating is concerned, enjoying food from all over the world and being able to eat it as is normal in the country the dish is from. I can even use chopsticks as expertly as any native born Chinese person ...... well, most of them.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … octor.html

OUCH!

His wife died so he did what any loving husband would do and had a sex doll made that looks exactly like here .... but when she was young.
It seems overuse is wearing it out.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news … ng-9236704

I thought swingers wanted to be exposed

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-37974266

Up to 400 million logins on the "sex and swingers" hook-up site Adult Friend Finder have been leaked, according to an unverified report.

Who farted?

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38037187

This is childish, puerile .... and right up my street.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/trave … APPED.html

I used to live near Butthole Road but some humourless fool changed the name.

One for expats in Russia

http://www.thejakartapost.com/life/2016 … oscow.html

Yummy yummy

Australian police aren't dumb so they'll soon get the bottom of this one.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-38047281

Yes, I'm married so I can see his point

http://www.thejakartapost.com/life/2016 … earch.html

The iPass Mobile Professional Report 2016, research conducted by American wireless-enabled devices company iPass Inc., found that 40 percent of mobile professionals considered Wi-Fi more important than sex.

In the survey, which involved 1,700 mobile professionals in North America and European countries, only 37 percent of respondents chose sex as essential on a daily basis.

As reported by kompas.com, the research also revealed that 14 percent of respondents chose chocolate and 9 percent considered alcohol as an integral part of their daily lives.

Toilet paper for smartphones.

The owners must have been watching politicians' speeches because they're always a load of old sh......

http://www.thejakartapost.com/travel/20 … hones.html

Don't take a selfie with a croc

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … -park.html

Fred wrote:

Toilet paper for smartphones.

The owners must have been watching politicians' speeches because they're always a load of old sh......

http://www.thejakartapost.com/travel/20 … hones.html

Frankley I enjoyed the clip how to use the toilet.
Now I can use other movements too 

Having a hard time can be very dangerous.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … riend.html

I've been doing this for ages ... but with a different goal in mind.

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from … e-38744872

A rodeo in New Zealand is to employ men dressed as sheep after it found out that one of its events was illegal.

What an arse

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-38848211

Hi, sexy, you have a lovely round bottom   .. and top

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … COVER.html

I can see how this accident could happen but no one has asked if the truncheon was washed after the event.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world … 72581.html

My perfect woman.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … g-man.html

Wooooops



'Confused' car driver takes wrong turn down steps in central London
Police say the driver has been issued with a warning for driving without due care but had not been arrested.

http://news.sky.com/story/confused-car- … n-10767688

Fred wrote:

My perfect woman.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … g-man.html

Oops - correction.

It turns out the woman is really a dude, meat and 2 veg intact, but identifies as a woman.
Perhaps I was too hasty.






























or maybe not   

I was going to say, I'm beginning to worry about you Fred







Maybe not now 

House in New York state encased in ice during cold spell



I really hope no one is stuck inside?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-39254974

After a load of accidents involving elderly drivers, Japan is offering discounted funerals to old codgers who give up their licence.
Drive, crash and die gets an expensive funeral.
Don't drive and die is cheaper

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from … e-39327663

Indian parlance has more than a few very interesting phrases, Eve teasing being a nice way of meaning sexual harassment, but some Indian ladies are fighting back, and doing some serious slapping.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-39410685

The video is a good laugh.

Many people think art is a load of old sht.

http://m.jpost.com/#/app/article/478348

An artist in Russia's Far East has marked the new year by fashioning a giant rooster sculpture out of frozen manure.

A Suzuki .. what a pervert

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … rbike.html

We all stuff it sooner or later but there are ways to go and ways to go.......

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … -seat.html

An Irishman killed in a horror car crash in Thailand was thought to have been having sex on the back seat when the driver lost control.
Ex-pat English teacher John Malone, 39, had been travelling in the speeding black Suzuki when it lost control and hit a concrete post on Wednesday morning at 1am.

Fred wrote:

We all stuff it sooner or later but there are ways to go and ways to go.......

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … -seat.html

Probably not the happy ending he had paid for.

God the father, God the son, and GOD, HE'S  GOT A GUN!

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-40547137

A North Carolina priest faces assault charges after he pulled out a gun in a road rage incident, officials say.
They say the priest, William Rian Adams, was driving near Palm City in Florida when a pick-up truck that had been following his Chevrolet Corvette closely tried to overtake him.
Mr Adams, 35, then "pointed a semi-automatic hand gun" at the two people in the other vehicle, police say.

Got you covered? 300,000 umbrellas stolen in share scheme start-up



An umbrella share scheme in China has backfired after almost all of its stock was stolen in the first few weeks.The business start-up aims to provide easy-access umbrellas for city folk to pick up from railings near bus stations and subways as they go about their day.However, the company was caught high and dry when almost all of the 300,000 umbrellas it provided were stolen shortly after the scheme was launched.

Fred wrote:

After a load of accidents involving elderly drivers, Japan is offering discounted funerals to old codgers who give up their licence.
Drive, crash and die gets an expensive funeral.
Don't drive and die is cheaper

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from … e-39327663

Fred
Did they give you the offfer as well, 'Well' you are 'old'

LOL

This post is unusual as there are two stories but both have the same conclusion - Blow jobs can be dangerous ...........

https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2 … 730555982c

Why is antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea spreading? One problem is unprotected oral sex. Remember, unprotected oral sex is not "safe sex."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/desti … n-airport/

The woman – a 57-year-old New Zealander – was reportedly watching a plane take off from the notorious Princess Juliana Airport in St Maarten when she was knocked over by the thrust from one of its engines.

Fred wrote:

This post is unusual as there are two stories but both have the same conclusion - Blow jobs can be dangerous ...........

https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2 … 730555982c

Why is antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea spreading? One problem is unprotected oral sex. Remember, unprotected oral sex is not "safe sex."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/desti … n-airport/

The woman – a 57-year-old New Zealander – was reportedly watching a plane take off from the notorious Princess Juliana Airport in St Maarten when she was knocked over by the thrust from one of its engines.

Brings a new meaning to Bj&A that's for the "Brazilian Team"and remember buy the Quackers that havê a open fly , easy access. Jus sayn.
it's kinda like that Robin Williams movie"The World According to Garp" the bite scene was hilarious /lol