Dating in HCMC - is this normal or am I being scammed?

7Steven wrote:

Be careful and do not use a plastic bag like this couple:

http://tuoitrenews.vn/society/37021/you … -as-condom

Have a great time.

bet that sorted the shyness out

Sorry for disappearing. I don't get on there often obviously, and have currently moved back to Australia temporarily (coming back later this year).

Anyway to update, we caught up again later in the week. She paid her own way, we ended up sleeping together a few times. Then to be honest I kind of lost interest as I couldn't really feel that connection I want in a long term partner. I sense she felt the same way.

So we went our seperate ways , no trouble and no harm done. Thanks and apologies again for the very late update. I'll be more active on the forums once I'm back in Vietnam hopefully.

So your wallet and phone were still there after lights out action? 

BT1989 wrote:

Hi, expat from Australia checking in. Recently moved to HCMC as a single guy, with that being the case obviously active on the dating scene. Still trying to get my head around all he customs/etiquette but I'm getting there.

I have an account on Vietnam Cupid which works quite well in terms of finding dates. I came across this one gorgeous woman who I ended up meeting the other night, however a few things happened which made me question what her intentions were. If someone could let me know their thoughts .. As follows:

1. She insisted that I pay for everything including taxis there and back (I'm pretty comfortable with this being standard for traditional Vietnamese culture). However the "Uber" she got seemed to charge 100,000 VND more than what it should have been, she seemed upset that she got cheated after I brought it up and that it was a "friend of a friends uber". Anyway it's equates to $5 in my country but it's just weird to me how a local can get duped like that. (350k from district 9 to 1 seems excessive)

2. We went out for dinner, we wanted to go out after for some drinks but it was 7pm and she said it was too early to drink. She said we should go back to my hotel (I'm staying at paid by company as having issues with my accomodation). Found it odd she was so comfortable to come alone to my room with me, at this point I actually thought she was a prostitute.For what it's worth I tried to kiss her then and she was very hesitant and then wanted to go back out.

3. We had a few drinks just in the bar of my hotel in the lobby. We were having great conversation and seemed to connect well, towards the end she hinted at going back to the room again but I ended up getting her an actual vinasun taxi back to her place. I'm just skeptical that she seemed so keen to sleep with me as she is absolutely jaw dropping in terms of looks.

I have not much confidence when it comes to me and women so I tend to overanalyse everything. but would you consider the above normal?

Dude, she's in her twenties, super hot (lucky you) and already very experienced in playing you around like that.
1. It's part of Vietnamese culture but from what you said it's probably a scam from the locals, also women with self-esteem don't insist men to pay everything for the date.
2. She's fishing using reverse psychology.
3. Again, fishing.
So I think you should consider more about this girl. Cheers!

bet that sorted the shyness out

Bet both had to give 'below' abit of rest to recover from this    ... ouch!! 

jennie2904 wrote:

HI there,

I'm Vietnamese and I would like to give my own view about your story.

I don't know if this girl is working girl or anything but in my position, I won't let guy pay for my taxi. For food we don't share but take turn to pay (its my own opinion)

About jumping to bed easily, I hope you guys don't judge woman that they are easy girl or any stereotype. Vietnamese girls right now get effected a lot from the American movie (jump into bed when u guys like each other), Probably, she has a feeling with you, that why she was giving you hints about that. Moreover, Vietnamese girls also have a thought that when a couple has sex, it means they have sth together, it's kind of weird but thats how it works.

Anyway, how is the relationship right now? I'm curious about that...

Come on guys, I understand the problem. But wouldn't the issue be the same when it comes to women in general? When you get lucky, you get lucky, when you get scammed, you just bought yourself a lesson for your future adventure 

By time you will learn your lessons from "life" and pay your fee to keep everything running...

I read discussion on this topic and it made me laugh...btw, i`m local man and got married with my Vietnamese wife via online/dating... it has been a great time for almost 7 years so far

when you dating, it`s depend on your partner...if she/he is good then you are lucky or you must try someone, don`t pay much attention on should do or not...I used to travel to many countries and see that Vietnamese girls are faithful but sometime you will feel need to be freedom for a while to make your life beautiful

That`s it... don`t hesitate to date with a girl and don`t count how much you will spend for the coffee or meal, when she/he loves you...you will be treated back

"Dating in HCMC - is this normal or am I being scammed?"


Yes.

Best,
Aidan

Aidan in HCMC wrote:

"Dating in HCMC - is this normal or am I being scammed?"


Yes.

Best,
Aidan

Aidan,

If your answer is "yes" on this matter, you must be from some alien planet. Women, not specifically Vietnamese only, but women in general love to be treated well. That means money should not be an issue!!
Would you feel scammed driving a nice car. Consider all women as they are Ferrari's. Let's say, gas money is the dinner you pay for taking them out. Upgrade to full leather option is a nice LV bag you pay to pamper them, and so on,...
Now you tell me, does this make any sense? Do you feel like being scammed right now?

Come on man, no offence, maybe you should consider staying home  "all by yourself!!!"

You won't get scammed, unless you like to pamper your mom like I do.

😁😁😁

LesyMark wrote:

Aidan in HCMC wrote:

"Dating in HCMC - is this normal or am I being scammed?"


Yes.

Best,
Aidan

Aidan,

If your answer is "yes" on this matter, you must be from some alien planet. Women, not specifically Vietnamese only, but women in general love to be treated well. That means money should not be an issue!!
Would you feel scammed driving a nice car. Consider all women as they are Ferrari's. Let's say, gas money is the dinner you pay for taking them out. Upgrade to full leather option is a nice LV bag you pay to pamper them, and so on,...
Now you tell me, does this make any sense? Do you feel like being scammed right now?

Come on man, no offence, maybe you should consider staying home  "all by yourself!!!"

You won't get scammed, unless you like to pamper your mom like I do.

😁😁😁

Don't know if I should feel offended being compare to driving a Ferrari but good metaphor, quite entertaining.

LesyMark wrote:

If your answer is "yes" on this matter, you must be from some alien planet.

Puhleeeze. You must have been sitting down all day, as the joke obviously went over your head. Now that I know you're subscribed, I'll try not to be so high-browed and keep the humor down to the level of fart jokes. Sorry.

Women, not specifically Vietnamese only, but women in general love to be treated well. That means money should not be an issue!! Would you feel scammed driving a nice car. Consider all women as they are Ferrari's. Let's say, gas money is the dinner you pay for taking them out. Upgrade to full leather option is a nice LV bag you pay to pamper them, and so on,...

Are you seriously, and with no joke intended on your part, comparing another human being to that of an inanimate object? And you suspect ME of being from another planet? And please explain how it is that you feel you have authority to lecture me on how "women" like to be treated. Experience has shown that "women" like to be treated as people, the same as any person would wish to be treated. Here, let me spell it out for you (I'll type slow because I get the feeling you're not too quick). "Women" like to be treated politely and with respect.

Now you tell me, does this make any sense?

No. It makes LesyMark sound like a shallow and two dimensional individual who sees "women" as commodities.

Do you feel like being scammed right now?

No. I feel as though I am being (ahem) "enlightened" in the ways typical of how a "self-made", but certainly not well read, (𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘴𝘵 𝘐 𝗪𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗖𝗛) b̰ṵs̰ḭn̰ḛs̰s̰m̰a̰n̰ would go about  ̷p̷u̷r̷c̷h̷a̷s̷i̷n̷g̷  ̷h̷i̷r̷i̷n̷g̷  b̷r̷i̷b̷i̷n̷g̷  wooing a lady. Forgive me for taking the liberty of identifying you as being a b̰ṵs̰ḭn̰ḛs̰s̰m̰a̰n̰, but that's what I instinctively assumed after seeing how readily you managed to link "...women in general love to be treated well..." and then immediately telling us what THAT means, "That means money should not be an issue!!"      (sigh)

Come on man, no offence

(sic)offense,

maybe you should consider staying home  "all by yourself!!!"

With all the respect appropriately due to comments such as yours, do not assume you have dominion to lecture me on interpersonal relationships. Without any doubt whatsoever, and at the risk of sounding like I am elevating my desirability (I am not), I can assure you that I have had the opportunity to say, "No, but I'm flattered", as well as "I've been wanting to say the same to you", to more ladies than you have ever, or will ever, have the opportunity to.

You won't get scammed, unless you like to pamper your mom like I do.

😁😁😁

Well, you would know.
After all, she is just a "woman", right? And thanks to your "enlightening" us (/sarc) we now know how, as a "woman", your mother likes to be treated.


It's been a real slice. Thanks.


Best to all,

Aidan

Gosh, the only thing more entertaining than this forum is Donald Trump's tweets, but it comes close! 

WillyBaldy wrote:

Gosh, the only thing more entertaining than this forum is Donald Trump's tweets, but it comes close! 

Ai daaaaaaa (n) dung vao o kien lua roi.

To whom this may concern:

I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR OFFENDING ANYONE IN HERE FOR WHAT I SAID!!!

And to Aidan, I am sorry you took this personally. When I wrote "you", I meant you guys in general, not you as in "You Aidan"
Sorry Bro/Sis???
I just happen to click on you to quote and reply.

I never thought anyone would scrutenize every word every sentence towards grammar and spelling.

Yes you are totally right, I am a businessman, and yes I happen to be a commodity futures trader as wel. Hence the name £€$¥Mark.

Well for what it is worth, anyone reading this post, you know my name, you know how I look like. If "you" (EVERYONE IN GENERAL) happen to bump into me in Saigon, let me know about this offence/offense (identical meaning) and I'll buy you a drink!!! BUT for you Aidan, I'll buy you a drink AND dinner. (no fake news WillyBaldy)

PEACE!!!!

✌️✌️✌️

Relax, LM.  Most trolls just wanna get noticed.

(Popcorn sales are outasite!)   Thanks.       

Bazza139 wrote:

Relax, LM.  Most trolls just wanna get noticed.

(Popcorn sales are outasite!)   Thanks.       

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll

Both perfectly describe you.

And now I'm waiting for a stupid remark about my spelling.

LesyMark wrote:

Ai daaaaaaa (n) dung vao o kien lua roi.

If you're talking about fire ants, it must definitely hurt quite a bit 

WillyBaldy wrote:

LesyMark wrote:

Ai daaaaaaa (n) dung vao o kien lua roi.

If you're talking about fire ants, it must definitely hurt quite a bit 

🤫🤫🤫   Ssst....... yes I was referring to fire ants. I wrote it so that only viet could read it. Cause I don't like to stir up fire ant nests for some offending I said.

Life have been very good to me so far. Don't want to get killed, yet.
So from now on, I will only talk in general. Trying not to offend anyone.
Before I know, I have to throw in a swimmingpool party at the Sheraton.
Hahahahhahaaaa

Best of life to all

LesyMark wrote:

WillyBaldy wrote:

LesyMark wrote:

Ai daaaaaaa (n) dung vao o kien lua roi.

If you're talking about fire ants, it must definitely hurt quite a bit 

🤫🤫🤫   Ssst....... yes I was referring to fire ants. I wrote it so that only viet could read it. Cause I don't like to stir up fire ant nests for some offending I said.

Hey, you're being racist. I'm not a Viet but I totally got it  I'll be around the Mekong for a month in January, will get ready for my pool party at the Sheraton in Saigon, but I'd rather gap nhieu em dep o bia om 

WillyBaldy wrote:

LesyMark wrote:

WillyBaldy wrote:

If you're talking about fire ants, it must definitely hurt quite a bit 

🤫🤫🤫   Ssst....... yes I was referring to fire ants. I wrote it so that only viet could read it. Cause I don't like to stir up fire ant nests for some offending I said.

Hey, you're being racist. I'm not a Viet but I totally got it  I'll be around the Mekong for a month in January, will get ready for my pool party at the Sheraton in Saigon, but I'd rather gap nhieu em dep o bia om 

Hey WB, "NO COMMENT" unless you take full responsibility for the consequences, stirring up "o kien lua"

Meaning, you pay for the poolparty in case anyone gets offened by your words bro



ps: tat ca nang/nu trong day, nho len tieng khi doc post nay nhe. Cam on!!!

Guys, could you please respect our forum rules and post in English ?

If she is that gorgeous, you might have blown it. Why didn't you seize the moment?

Haha. I get a kick reading these type of posts, "Lost naive guy looking for love in the wrong places"

Julien wrote:

Guys, could you please respect our forum rules and post in English ?

If this is supposed to be an international forum, than other languages should do very well in here. Expat AND only English sounds about the same as best daddy in a family

l3ully wrote:

Julien wrote:

Guys, could you please respect our forum rules and post in English ?

If this is supposed to be an international forum, than other languages should do very well in here. Expat AND only English sounds about the same as best daddy in a family

This website has forums for posters who would like to converse in French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.  This part of the site is for English speakers so it makes sense that the posts should be in English so everyone can understand the exchange, especially the ones who are not multi-linguists.

Ciambella wrote:

l3ully wrote:

Julien wrote:

Guys, could you please respect our forum rules and post in English ?

If this is supposed to be an international forum, than other languages should do very well in here. Expat AND only English sounds about the same as best daddy in a family

This site has forums for posters who would like to converse in French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.  This part of the site is for English speakers so it makes sense that the posts should be in English.

I bet, chinese speakers are more.  So this is an answer, I personally would move in a trash bin, if it would come on paper onto my desk.
I suggest, English teacher forum would be more appropriate

l3ully wrote:

Ciambella wrote:

l3ully wrote:

If this is supposed to be an international forum, than other languages should do very well in here. Expat AND only English sounds about the same as best daddy in a family

This site has forums for posters who would like to converse in French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.  This part of the site is for English speakers so it makes sense that the posts should be in English.

I bet, chinese speakers are more.  So this is an answer, I personally would move in a trash bin, if it would come on paper onto my desk.
I suggest, English teacher forum would be more appropriate

The English only rule in in place for ease of understanding for posters and moderators.
As was mentioned by Ciambella, the forum has sections for speakers of other languages if posters prefer to use one of those.
This might very well change over time as translating software becomes more accurate, but we aren't there yet.

Fred wrote:

This might very well change over time as translating software becomes more accurate, but we aren't there yet.

Strangely enough when I put the item above into Google translate as is I got "If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Cam on !!!" which makes perfect sense.   Google also made a suggestion with diacritics:  "tất cả năng/nữ trong dạy, nhô lên tiếng khi đọc post này nhé. Cảm ơn!!!"  When I clicked on the suggestion it came out as "All the girls in the teaching, protruding when reading this post offline. Thank you!!!" which makes no sense and even sounds slightly pornographic. 

Google may be fine with translating between English, French, Spanish and German but it still has a way to go for Vietnamese.

THIGV wrote:

Fred wrote:

This might very well change over time as translating software becomes more accurate, but we aren't there yet.

Strangely enough when I put the item above into Google translate as is I got "If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Cam on !!!" which makes perfect sense.   Google also made a suggestion with diacritics:  "tất cả năng/nữ trong dạy, nhô lên tiếng khi đọc post này nhé. Cảm ơn!!!"  When I clicked on the suggestion it came out as "All the girls in the teaching, protruding when reading this post offline. Thank you!!!" which makes no sense and even sounds slightly pornographic. 

Google may be fine with translating between English, French, Spanish and German but it still has a way to go for Vietnamese.

The context can already be read out sometimes.
But I agree with you that it will take years until everything is translated correctly.

But you can also get better results by editing the Vietnamese text a bit.

So you can achieve a better result with upper and lower case and delete the line breaks.
Or divide sentences with commas into 2 own sentences.  Setting or omitting a point also gives different results.  Setting a colon also gives different results.
I also translate into German and English.  So the result in one language might make more sense.

I translated such a 22 page contract with a lot of time and except for a few sections everything that was translated made sense.

Fred wrote:

l3ully wrote:

Ciambella wrote:

This site has forums for posters who would like to converse in French, Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese.  This part of the site is for English speakers so it makes sense that the posts should be in English.

I bet, chinese speakers are more.  So this is an answer, I personally would move in a trash bin, if it would come on paper onto my desk.
I suggest, English teacher forum would be more appropriate

The English only rule in in place for ease of understanding for posters and moderators.
As was mentioned by Ciambella, the forum has sections for speakers of other languages if posters prefer to use one of those.
This might very well change over time as translating software becomes more accurate, but we aren't there yet.

Again, it' non-sense. I not really want to choose each time another language, not even want to search those settings. and doing that for each of 5 languages could piss me off even more then such answers.
I want to search, I use a search engine. I want to read such bullsxx, I come to here

Hear, hear, Here!     

BT1989 wrote:

1. She insisted that I pay for everything including taxis there and back (I'm pretty comfortable with this being standard for traditional Vietnamese culture). However the "Uber" she got seemed to charge 100,000 VND more than what it should have been, she seemed upset that she got cheated after I brought it up and that it was a "friend of a friends uber". Anyway it's equates to $5 in my country but it's just weird to me how a local can get duped like that. (350k from district 9 to 1 seems excessive)

Your first point was already a red flag.
I am currently happily attached with a Vietnamese and planning for marriage soon but before that, meeting Vietnamese in vn felt really comfortable and they do not ever ask you for money (even after several meetup or weeks/months)
In fact, they are more than keen to foot the bill but I am embarrass at that idea and will pay for them instead.

"they do not ever ask you for money (even after several meetup or weeks/months)"

You can't be serious!!!!!

.

colinoscapee wrote:

"they do not ever ask you for money (even after several meetup or weeks/months)"

You can't be serious!!!!!

.

    Serious, Surely..?

               " The short game gives fast profits, but...

                  ..the long game means much, much more is the goal..."

                        ..and don't call me Shirley...     
.

Seriously and surely, the good ones do not ask.  My wife, when she was my gf, never asked and sometimes insisted on paying occasionally.  She never asked, but she knew that if she asked for money, we were finished.  Even after marriage and starting a family, she has no idea how much I earn or my net worth.  Never ask and never discuss it.  I just tell her not to worry, we will be fine and that is good enough for her.

Why guys fork over their cash just blows my mind.  Even though I heard all the stories about how extended family had problems etc. etc., Before you met her, everyone has been living a life and nobody is dying.  Most work and make money and if they can't manage their finances, that is their problem, not mine.  I made that crystal clear with every girl I met and the gold diggers did not stick around.   Some even got mad, so be it.  I walked and eventually met my lovely wife.

.
No sick Buffalo..?    You lucky devil...    

Betcha she didn't even own one..?     
.

Bazza139 wrote:

.
No sick Buffalo..?    You lucky devil...    

Betcha she didn't even own one..?     
.

No, but I would love to own one or two. 

vndreamer wrote:

Seriously and surely, the good ones do not ask.  My wife, when she was my gf, never asked and sometimes insisted on paying occasionally.  She never asked, but she knew that if she asked for money, we were finished.  Even after marriage and starting a family, she has no idea how much I earn or my net worth.  Never ask and never discuss it.  I just tell her not to worry, we will be fine and that is good enough for her.

Why guys fork over their cash just blows my mind.  Even though I heard all the stories about how extended family had problems etc. etc., Before you met her, everyone has been living a life and nobody is dying.  Most work and make money and if they can't manage their finances, that is their problem, not mine.  I made that crystal clear with every girl I met and the gold diggers did not stick around.   Some even got mad, so be it.  I walked and eventually met my lovely wife.

Extremely well said and exactly the point. If you have to ask the question on this forum about something that seems FISHY, it is FISHY.

The way my GF explains it, there are simply lazy people out there who will take advantage if geven the chance. But that is the world.

good story

[Post under review]

MIKEY101 wrote:

No way I ever go with a woman from HCM
I went with one She treated me like her free ATM and so did her family. They only want money. The daily sex wasn't worth the cost Never again Hatd to trust. I went back home and she contacted me for money behind a BS reason. Good luck, be careful

They enjoyed a big, fat naive fish for a while and they'll simply wait for the next one. You can count yourself lucky you escaped unscathed with only a few less dollars in your wallet.

PS: She might be thinking "he only wanted sex!", so you guys were playing a similar game.