How to make friends in Wellington

I've joined improv classes, French classes, book groups and went to some meet ups. I did burlesque too for a while and I made some girlfriends that way but nothing's stuck as : the improv groups were a bit older and we didn't socialise outside of class. I met one girl through French class and we hung out a couple of times but she already had a core group of girlfriends and wasn't really recruiting for more. Burlesque was fun but a lot of the girls were superficial so I didn't make any connections that stick past drinks or hair and makeup. Book club was a bit momsey and they got really clicky and that's not my style. At work I'm in IT so my team is very introverted and they don't even go to social work events! I had a platonic guy friend but I was more his female posse and I grew tired of being a sidekick.  I'm what you call an extroverted introvert. I like people and am not shy and I'm pretty carefree but also private and don't want to go out and party for the sake of getting drunk!i have met some nice people don't get me wrong but a few moved overseas!  I'm also married so not out for the singles scene either. I miss being able to relax and form friendships like back in the states. So that's my story! Anyone else care to share theirs?

Must admit it isn't easy making friends in NZ as where we live most kiwis are very clicky, we have found on more than 1 occasion once you have joined a club such as the local bowling club when the locals have found all about you after a few games,you are always struggling to find partners because they the locals go back into their own little groups,found the same with the local bridge club. I joined the local steam preservation society but again found the little clicks again,however on this occasion I was asked to be the treasurer which suited me fine as I did not have to be part of any click but still had a job to do. I enjoy the  job as I do it without  having too much contact  with the locals.

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Has anyone tried this site?  There could be others for different towns and cities.  Im local so never use these things.  Good luck to you all,  it's sad to know some of you are feeling isolated or lonely while here in NZ.

Hello everyone,

You can organize an expat meet up in your region or country by creating an event in the Events section. simple and easy to use

I thought of arranging a meet up but organising these things can become very cumbersome and organising people can get frustrating and id rather just not do that and go to something already established. I realise there isn't anything on this site but I'm happy not worrying about it.

It's not sad exactly but thanks for your empathy!

Have you tried finding out if there is an American club in Wellington. Contact the Embassy or try a google search.  www.americanclub.org.nzwww.nzaa.org.nz

Have done but it costs money and it's mostly ladies who don't work so they used to put on events during working hours which I couldn't attend. They have monthly Wednesday drinks but again I'm not keen on paying a yearly membership fee just to get to go to drinks once a month. They do thanksgiving and 4th of July but that's about it and the members are a but clique as it's mostly embassy workers and their wives or people in the navy and their wives so I don't go anymore.

I've also been to the marine ball twice but again people stay in their own groups and it's mostly people that are in the marines or work for the embassy and their wives and girlfriends and they tend to group together and not branch out.

Try a sports club in your area.

I have. I joined. A volleyball team and it wasn't social it was very competitive and I also played soccer and lots of people didn't ever want to bench out so it was frustrating. Other sports don't really interest me. Thanks anyway

I'm not really looking for suggestions . I more wanted to share my story and ask others to share theirs.

Hello,
I'm pretty new to Wellington and need to get out and meet new people/ friends
How's it going for you?

Hi James,

First of all, welcome to Wellington!
How are you settling in so far?

I think there is a stigma around looking to form new adult friendships as it's perfectly acceptable to say when you are looking for a romantic partner yet not as acceptable to announce if you are looking for friends. I look at looking for friendships as requiring the same approach to dating in the sense that there is a selection process that is much the same. Minus the heavy petting , flirting or innuendos of course ! eg in a platonic way of course

My meeting potential friendship candidates is going well but I've yet to form anything solid . But I'm ok with that right now. A lot of this is down to the fact that I move around in so many different circles. I'll give you a run down of my experience.

I have always been a 'try everything' sort of person and like to diversify my life as I believe it makes for a well rounded individual.

I have many acquaintances but only a couple of friends here in Wellington that I've formed deeper friendships with in the past. They moved overseas lol. We keep in touch but of course it's not the same.

I have also gotten more selective about who I let into my life as true friendship is somewhat of a commitment. ( refer to my previous paragraph above on likening it to dating)

I also decided that I didn't want to set expectations or force anything as I prefer organic friendships to trying too hard running around going from event to event trying to make friendships and having FOMO.

I'd rather do things that interest me and if I make some friends throughout the process then all the better! I'm taking French classes, also doing cross fit which is a bit of a community. Ive met some nice people but it's early days.

Thank you for listening and I hope that gives you a broader idea here of available ways to meet people in Wellington.

I'm happy to answer any questions or elaborate further.
All the best !
-Michele

Hi,
let me know when you are in Wellington :-)
I can show you around :-)
kindregards
chris

I have been in Welly almost 1 year now,  lived with my kiwi patner, feel same like other quite lonely coz no friends yet for hanging out with and I have no work yet even have work visa, I'm applying few jobs from trade me in hospitality department but not easy too,  make me feel down...no friends and no work yet, even sometime my patner friends came around but still I have not closed yet with them coz we just talk when I'm with my patner out of that no talk only say hi and I can't hanging out with them too coz most of them men....I wish can visit some event from expat and can share story how life here and get advice how to get jobs easy. Cheers

Zezr wrote:

I have been in Welly almost 1 year now,  lived with my kiwi patner, feel same like other quite lonely coz no friends yet for hanging out with and I have no work yet even have work visa, I'm applying few jobs from trade me in hospitality department but not easy too,  make me feel down...no friends and no work yet, even sometime my patner friends came around but still I have not closed yet with them coz we just talk when I'm with my patner out of that no talk only say hi and I can't hanging out with them too coz most of them men....I wish can visit some event from expat and can share story how life here and get advice how to get jobs easy. Cheers

You need to expand your horizons for getting along with the community. Wider dependency leads to loneliness sometimes. Enhance your job search, probably outside welly and you may find an appropriate placement.

It's not too difficult to make friend. You just have to initiate. Trust this would answer you and feel free to contact for anything!!!!

I came to New Zealand few months back. So far it is nice. Except having friends. Hope to make some friends soon. But don't know how..   

binil wrote:

I came to New Zealand few months back. So far it is nice. Except having friends. Hope to make some friends soon. But don't know how..   

I came here a year ago and already have alot of friends. Remember, you need to get yourself out of the typical asian tradition to have an acceptance by locals. Else, would be occupied within.

Thanks schaz I will keep in mind your point. Hope that I will be able to say the same thing as you said that I already have alot of friends here.    Cheers Have a wonderful week ahead....

binil wrote:

Thanks schaz I will keep in mind your point. Hope that I will be able to say the same thing as you said that I already have alot of friends here.    Cheers Have a wonderful week ahead....

You already made a friend just now. That's what i say,  Communicate !!!!