Divorce

Coll-wing wrote:

Hi Guys

I think I have to come out here and just tell a little bit about this story. I knew this Vietnamese guy as well as Havtajlee. The man is kind; He has never changed his Phone number or Email address if she wants to get the divorce and it's easy to her and no need to come up like this and say blah blah.  He got married her not because of her money or English women, Here is the story of both.

After they got married, then he went to the UK.  And right the way he found a job as a hairstylist in the UK and getting paid over 2500 + GBP.  Then he had to take the financial responsibility of her family, and she did not work, after a few months later he got tired and came back to Vietnam. Once he decided to return, but he even didn't have money to buy his air tickets, so he asked his friend in Vietnam to buy his air ticket and sent him some money. At that time he requested to get the divorce, but she did not want. I have known this guy more than seven years, and I still contact him with the same number which I got seven years ago.

So let me get this straight. This guy gets married to a UK woman, goes to the UK, makes lot of money and realizes that oops, he's married and needs to provide for his wife... so he prefers to go back to Vietnam. I thought I heard it all but that's a new one!

A an interesting twist to so sad story of the love torn bride. It is always best to tell your personal stories on a public forum. Then the truth emerges faster. Well at least everyone knows where the guy and gal are and how to contact them. If either forget they know how to contact each other, just cone on the forum and we can locate the thread to point you in the right direction. Happy divorcing!!!😀

After reading all of these divorce drama posts, I went down to my locker room, found my divorce paper from 2015 and kissed it a few times. I then came back on my rooftop terrace and had a beer to celebrate divorced life. Sometimes it's good to remember how grateful we should be of past decisions and being done with it.

Diazo I wish you a drama-less divorce proceeding. Mine was smooth as heck and I count myself very, very lucky. On top of that, I'm still good friend with my ex Vietnamese wife, she's a great person with a very good heart.

Oh mine is becoming living hell. But it is still great having her away from me. But still a money grab and she denies me unfettered access to my child. I can only see him for one out a week. I fly down there and am only allowed to see him between 4 and 5 pm. Then I am padlocked in a room and can only play with him in ways approved by him. I send her all his diaper and clothing and amecerything else to the Phoung Trang bus terminal a block from her house and she refused to pick it up. Demand I never send anything again. If I want her to have something I must deliver it to her myself. Makes it a tad difficult when I fly down. Anything to be contrary.

Wow this warrant a book or something, your story is very sad not only for you but I feel for your kid too. She's acting like you did her wrong.

It's a situation completely upside down from where I stand because I hear of many dads who are trying to avoid their responsibility by not being there and not wanting to provide anything. It seems in this case you're trying to help but she refuses it. Is her financial situation so great she can afford spitting on your help?

No, not at all. It just makes no sense at all to me. I try to get into her way of thinking. Assume that I am just an ATM. I put aside close to $400k for my sons university education in the USA, Which we agreed was our desire before marriage. I agreed to give her mom $300 a month adjusted for inflation once a year. I put into a trust all my real estate holding in the USA upon my death. We agreed to that. Then a few months into the marriage she demanded a 66% increase to $500 a month for her mom. I balked and wanted justification of a demonstrable need. Her mom was not using most of the $300, but putting it in savings. So I saw no emergency need. Her mom ons a nice home with a many other blood sucking relatives that live with her. I agreed to put aside $500 a month for her to buy a home here. But I would take back the RE in my hone country. No, she wanted both. She insists on working outside the home and keeping the money for her mom and her. So I see her on Sundays and watch her sleep. In the meantime I hire the staff to take care of all things in the home.
  And for all this she gives me a son that I must interact with on her terms the way a mom that is nuts would interact with a child. He can never play a musical instrument or me teach him gold, no sports.
  And this she wants me to sign up to as a condition of reconciliation. Living with her I woke up to a new host of problems every day. Problems that had no solutions because there never was a problem. How to protect ourselves form the rapist robbing taxi drivers for example. How to stay in a hotel where the receptionist thinks well of us. Turn the refrigerator down at night to save energy, and allow the food to grow bacteria. Like we are poor. Gosh don;t get me to talking about caring for the boy. She sets with a bowl of soapy water and one of rinse water to wash and sterilize everything he touches before he touches it again. I buy him toys from America and she throws them away. I think she has mental problems. I can not get him his Certificate,  of Birth Abroad or his social security number  because she thinks I will steal him. Due to that refusal she loses about $2,000 a month she an my son could get every month. And I have agreed to stay married to her so she can get it although.  we do not live together

I  tend to agree with Colinoscapee,s comments on the 24 th.....walk away and get on with your life and from your comments you are halfway there and best to stop doing your head in.If you push this along it could possibly alienate your husband...it could then get sticky....now it seems as if all he wants is out of the marriage......but you still need to check out that you are covered legally in the Uk.You can do this by  contacting the Citizens Advice Beurau,The Marriage Guidance Council or a solicitor.Some solicitors offer free advice for domestic problems ...they then recover their fees through a government/ local authority scheme.If you cannot obtain the correct information for no cost then it would be worth paying a solicitor £50- £100 for advice before you act.
Reading in the past ,Uk marriage law/divorce of a foreigner,and I am not a legal person...you need to check this out.....goes on the basis of being domicile in the country.Your husband lived in the Uk only because of his " Spouse " visa,he was not living there before you married,if he came to the Uk now to try to make a claim on your assets he would be a visitor to the Uk....he is not in anyway domicile.....even though your paperwork has been motorised by the Uk government.
Look at the practicalities of him coming to the Uk sometime in the future...there are none...he,s a hairstylist and probably could not finance a visit,or possibly 2.....time away from his work,airfares,hotels,food,finding his way about,dealing with a Uk legal system that is very complicated and expensive.He could employ a English Speaking Vietnamese lawyer who in turn would contact the Uk solicitor  and at the very least would need 1 visit to the Uk....all costing big money on the Uk side....and for what?....the POSSIBILITY .......not guaranteed.....of obtaining some of your assets.From your words you have no assists to speak of,certainly not worth funding all of the above for......would anyone take that chance?.
As for a future marriage by him,perhaps in 3,4 or even 10 years time...he won,t even think about you and in this crooked country he will cross someone's greasy paws with coffee money and the marriage you are in and the documents relating to it will be conveniently forgotten.

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Pressed the button twice.

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It seems that now we see 'the other side of the coin' 

WillyBaldy wrote:

Coll-wing wrote:

Hi Guys

I think I have to come out here and just tell a little bit about this story. I knew this Vietnamese guy as well as Havtajlee. The man is kind; He has never changed his Phone number or Email address if she wants to get the divorce and it's easy to her and no need to come up like this and say blah blah.  He got married her not because of her money or English women, Here is the story of both.

After they got married, then he went to the UK.  And right the way he found a job as a hairstylist in the UK and getting paid over 2500 + GBP.  Then he had to take the financial responsibility of her family, and she did not work, after a few months later he got tired and came back to Vietnam. Once he decided to return, but he even didn't have money to buy his air tickets, so he asked his friend in Vietnam to buy his air ticket and sent him some money. At that time he requested to get the divorce, but she did not want. I have known this guy more than seven years, and I still contact him with the same number which I got seven years ago.

So let me get this straight. This guy gets married to a UK woman, goes to the UK, makes lot of money and realizes that oops, he's married and needs to provide for his wife... so he prefers to go back to Vietnam. I thought I heard it all but that's a new one!

This guy makes more than 3000$ in Vietnam. The point is His wife tried to use him as a defender once he got job and she said she is tired and cannot work anymore,  she opened bank  even his salary comes to her bank account.

Yeah now we learn the truth about the little British snake. I bet she is not reading this conversation anymore. Women they are all the same.

Fair enough...that will teach me to read all the posts!!!

That's interesting, Most of the guys talking about Vietnamese girls who are working in Bar/Spa but how does it going Foreign woman's picking the guys working in the same sectors.......?

So this guy makes 70 million vnd a month cutting hair in Viet Nam, he must be one hell of a hairdresser.

I think Cool wing talk BS............

Maybe the spouse will join us again and see if here calculator jives with his.

Once he contacted her after he saw her chatting on here she ran for the woods. Ah a regular Patton Place.

colinoscapee wrote:

So this guy makes 70 million vnd a month cutting hair in Viet Nam, he must be one hell of a hairdresser.

I think so; this guy gets paid that amount by his ex-boss because he brings lots foreign customers to his salon. Now he owns two hair salon which belongs to a five-star hotel in Saigon.  I am just giving some fair information and do not blame to myself. We need to see the story of both of side.  Is this just only one story I knew, what we do on here if someone post one topic and just try to help them without knowing any reason.

Appreciate the input bud. Nothing like having a fair and balanced story. I know more than a few here that make princely sums. It matters not really. Just glad they were able to air their laundry here and able to connect again. After all she was trying to find the young man. And we have found him. Now off to the court we go. BTW she admitted she did not have a pot to piss in. Which just bed with what he said . And why do we care!

Coll-wing wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

So this guy makes 70 million vnd a month cutting hair in Viet Nam, he must be one hell of a hairdresser.

I think so; this guy gets paid that amount by his ex-boss because he brings lots foreign customers to his salon. Now he owns two hair salon which belongs to a five-star hotel in Saigon.  I am just giving some fair information and do not blame to myself. We need to see the story of both of side.  Is this just only one story I knew, what we do on here if someone post one topic and just try to help them without knowing any reason.

USD/$3000 a month from two hair salons... right!!!

Diazo wrote:

Appreciate the input bud. Nothing like having a fair and balanced story. I know more than a few here that make princely sums. It matters not really. Just glad they were able to air their laundry here and able to connect again. After all she was trying to find the young man. And we have found him. Now off to the court we go. BTW she admitted she did not have a pot to piss in. Which just bed with what he said . And why do we care!

I'm not sure if it's fair and balanced, both sides seem suspicious, but it's a heck of an entertaining story!

Oh stop acting like you know so much. If you can not read correctly what is said then why offer any opinions at all. He did not say he brings customers to two salons. He said he now owns two salons . Why do you care so much how much this guy makes. You must have very little to do but doubt people. Okay you set the record straight since you have the answers.....how much does he make?

Diazo wrote:

Oh stop acting like you know so much. If you can not read correctly what is said then why offer any opinions at all. He did not say he brings customers to two salons. He said he now owns two salons . Why do you care so much how much this guy makes. You must have very little to do but doubt people. Okay you set the record straight since you have the answers.....how much does he make?

Well, these messages are on a public forum so it's all about opinions right? I'm just saying it's very hard to believe, especially would you you even go to the UK if you were making that much cash in Vietnam is beyond me. But anything is possible. It really makes me laugh when people start saying things like "you must have very little to do" when they themselves spend time writing in a forum.

WillyBaldy wrote:

Coll-wing wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

So this guy makes 70 million vnd a month cutting hair in Viet Nam, he must be one hell of a hairdresser.

I think so; this guy gets paid that amount by his ex-boss because he brings lots foreign customers to his salon. Now he owns two hair salon which belongs to a five-star hotel in Saigon.  I am just giving some fair information and do not blame to myself. We need to see the story of both of side.  Is this just only one story I knew, what we do on here if someone post one topic and just try to help them without knowing any reason.

USD/$3000 a month from two hair salons... right!!!

I mean he got paid 3000$ was two years ago say 2015, it was hard to believe me too in Vietnam, but infect that was true he saw me his client records list and he makes for his salon nearly 10,000/ month.

Now he owns two hair salon under his name.  This is numbers, and you guys don't have to care how much he earns.

Coll-wing wrote:

WillyBaldy wrote:

Coll-wing wrote:

I think so; this guy gets paid that amount by his ex-boss because he brings lots foreign customers to his salon. Now he owns two hair salon which belongs to a five-star hotel in Saigon.  I am just giving some fair information and do not blame to myself. We need to see the story of both of side.  Is this just only one story I knew, what we do on here if someone post one topic and just try to help them without knowing any reason.

USD/$3000 a month from two hair salons... right!!!

I mean he got paid 3000$ was two years ago say 2015, it was hard to believe me too in Vietnam, but infect that was true he saw me his client records list and he makes for his salon nearly 10,000/ month.

Now he owns two hair salon under his name.  This is numbers, and you guys don't have to care how much he earns.

You mentioned how much he earns, nobody asked you.

I'm getting a feeling there is a lot of crap being posted to justify the other side of the story.

Let's not forget, there are three sides to a story,his,hers and the truth.

Well then if it's the case getting married to someone who makes no money was maybe not his best tactical move :-D At least while he's in Vietnam his assets are well protected even through divorce.

colinoscapee wrote:

You mentioned how much he earns, nobody asked you.

I'm getting a feeling there is a lot of crap being posted to justify the other side of the story.

Let's not forget, there are three sides to a story,his,hers and the truth.

Totally agree. Isn't this story a bit funny though? The rich Vietnamese having to protect his assets from the poor Westerner!

Jesus Christ. What goes on while I am landscaping a garden. I don't know who the person us who says they know me and my hubby. It is truly crazy seeing parts of my life being discussed. Who are you, this person that's supposed to know us?  Let me just update you. Some of the things you said are incorrect. Yes the man I married was very lovely. I loved him and would love him still now if only he would let me. I supported him when I lived in Vietnam as he needed extra money because he left his abusive family and rented a room, which he couldn't afford without his mother giving him a little extra. She used that as a way to turn up when she liked and control him. I wanted to help him get away from that so I decided to help him. Unfortunately I had to come back here because of ill health. I still sent him $1000 a month. I worked tirelessly to get him here because that is what he said he wanted. I ran up a lot of debts, mainly on my mother's credit cards, we got loans to pay for his monthly top ups and our wedding, travel back and forth, his English classes, a lawyer to help us with the visa, all the papers for the visa. We Waited 3 years for it to happen. He was always very upset that we had to give him money and wanted to make sure that he helped to back the debts when he got here.  However when he arrived, he was not the happy-go-lucky boy I had fallen in love with. He was very stressed, angry and resentful. He did get a good job. I also worked part-time. I had to stop after a couple of months to have another operation. I spent a lot of money buying him clothes and new scissors for work. The more I loved him the more he pulled away and I could not reach him. He was only here a few months and then his mother got very sick and was dying. I paid for his air fare so he could go back to see her. He was very hateful toward me in the end and it broke my heart. I think it was because he felt guilty. I am still not over it. When he left we could not afford to pay back the debts so we are now in debt management and my mum can never get credit again. What I have said is the truth.

Don't pay too much attention to what's being said here, we don't know the real details so it's only speculation. The side of your story just makes more sense to me than Call-wing's "I'm a hairdresser who makes $10,000 a month" story but no matter what I'm sure you went through difficult times. When I sponsored my ex Vietnamese wife to come live in Canada she had a hard time being away from family and went through depression etc, so I can understand and relate to what you're describing.

I dunno who this Coll-Wing is ?????

Anyway it was never about money. Was it you Coll-Wing who told Giau I was trying to find him. Is that why he suddenly text me after 2 years??? Ah and I thought it was because we still had some kind of underlying connection.

@ WildBaldy,
   Your correct my comments were inappropriate. I have been around the site for quite sometime. It is just sad to see the good expat info we use to be able to green firm this site has long since disappeared. However, back then it was the prediction that the policing of the site would drive everyone that then members away and we would end up with what we have now.
  Now there rarely are any new posting and when there is nothing of substance e.g I want to learn English, or I want to learn Vietnamese. And then threads that have gone on way past any usefulness. But you certainly have the right to express yourself in this format. Good luck

Diazo wrote:

@ WildBaldy,
   Your correct my comments were inappropriate. I have been around the site for quite sometime. It is just sad to see the good expat info we use to be able to green firm this site has long since disappeared. However, back then it was the prediction that the policing of the site would drive everyone that then members away and we would end up with what we have now.
  Now there rarely are any new posting and when there is nothing of substance e.g I want to learn English, or I want to learn Vietnamese. And then threads that have gone on way past any usefulness. But you certainly have the right to express yourself in this format. Good luck

How long have you been on this blog, your profile says you joined in December 2016.

havtajlee wrote:

Jesus Christ. What goes on while I am landscaping a garden. I don't know who the person us who says they know me and my hubby. It is truly crazy seeing parts of my life being discussed. Who are you, this person that's supposed to know us?  Let me just update you. Some of the things you said are incorrect. Yes the man I married was very lovely. I loved him and would love him still now if only he would let me. I supported him when I lived in Vietnam as he needed extra money because he left his abusive family and rented a room, which he couldn't afford without his mother giving him a little extra. She used that as a way to turn up when she liked and control him. I wanted to help him get away from that so I decided to help him. Unfortunately I had to come back here because of ill health. I still sent him $1000 a month. I worked tirelessly to get him here because that is what he said he wanted. I ran up a lot of debts, mainly on my mother's credit cards, we got loans to pay for his monthly top ups and our wedding, travel back and forth, his English classes, a lawyer to help us with the visa, all the papers for the visa. We Waited 3 years for it to happen. He was always very upset that we had to give him money and wanted to make sure that he helped to back the debts when he got here.  However when he arrived, he was not the happy-go-lucky boy I had fallen in love with. He was very stressed, angry and resentful. He did get a good job. I also worked part-time. I had to stop after a couple of months to have another operation. I spent a lot of money buying him clothes and new scissors for work. The more I loved him the more he pulled away and I could not reach him. He was only here a few months and then his mother got very sick and was dying. I paid for his air fare so he could go back to see her. He was very hateful toward me in the end and it broke my heart. I think it was because he felt guilty. I am still not over it. When he left we could not afford to pay back the debts so we are now in debt management and my mum can never get credit again. What I have said is the truth.

This is the reason so many people said to just walk away and forget about it.

I have nothing to say, yes there are three stories, and we still did not know exactly what is true.

Diazo wrote:

@ WildBaldy,
   Your correct my comments were inappropriate. I have been around the site for quite sometime. It is just sad to see the good expat info we use to be able to green firm this site has long since disappeared. However, back then it was the prediction that the policing of the site would drive everyone that then members away and we would end up with what we have now.
  Now there rarely are any new posting and when there is nothing of substance e.g I want to learn English, or I want to learn Vietnamese. And then threads that have gone on way past any usefulness. But you certainly have the right to express yourself in this format. Good luck

Don't worry about it, as I said we can't know for sure what really happened here so it's just fun to speculate.

Hello,
I had been reading the posts. Sorry for dropping in, inadvance.

Divorce is the most pathetic part of life. It is the worst beginning of new life. Some times, partners get crazy, stressed out, etc etc and make a move which couls cause them their happiness. If you are together, small matters look irrepairable. But once you are apart,  you wish it didnt happen.

So i believe, a person should overcome his / her ego matters and give it a fresh start again. Woman can fly to vn or the man can fly to uk, & give a long long hug to each other and spit out what u guys have to, for one last time. I am sure, u both still have place for each other in ur hearts. And dont ruin this beautiful situation of happiness, which is called love between you too..

May you have a peace of mind when you meet the guy and hug him long enough!

I am thinking of becoming a marriage consultant heheeh:))

Regards,
Akbar