Please Share Your Thai Expat Story

My exposure to rural America came from my grandparents.  For a few summers I was able to ride horses and tractors, fish in a pond, play with farm animals, explore the hay barn and work sheds, with an occasional visit to the milking pit.  I quickly discovered why it was advisable to wear protective clothing in the pit with eight cows above you, four being milked and four waiting.

My other grandparents lived in a very small town with lovely old houses situated on a tree lined gravel road but without indoor plumbing and where they had the general store.  They had a little bit of everything in there and crusty old men in coveralls would sit around a potbelly stove and spittoon talking farming, weather and local gossip.  With the death of my paternal grandfather, when I was ten, that all came to an end.

I grew up in the suburbs of university towns in an academic family and often had more professor friends than student friends.  I dutifully completed my university degree before I parted ways with the expected life path of career, marriage, children, debt, divorce, ill health and redundancy.  I discovered Thailand at twenty one while still studying and moved here at twenty three after contemplating which life path to take and dreading a “normal” life.

From the age of thirteen I always had girlfriends but they seemed to know instinctively I had no intention of marrying and settling down.  In the end I met my wife at forty three and officially ended my single life at forty five.  We have been together for more than twenty years now and we are still very much in love.  It should be noted that my aversion to marriage was not due to an unhappy childhood.  My parents were happily married for close to sixty six years and remained together until their deaths in their nineties.

I have mentioned my first thirty years in Bangkok only in passing in my writing and have confined my blog and FaceBook posts to my time as Village Farang which is approaching eleven years now.  I have enough stories to bore anyone to tears but even Thais have to be of a certain vintage to have any frame of reference for understanding my early days in Bangkok.

I was at an event the other night and the guest speaker was a well known gentleman who was flown up from Bangkok.  After his speech we discovered we had many friends in common and enjoyed swapping tales.  Unfortunately I don’t bump into people like that as often as before.

VF... thanks for sharing.... Hopefully, others will share too...

Please share your story of being an expat in Thailand when you have time...

Thanks...

There is one line in your opening post which asks what our lives are like now, so here are a few photos from this last week here in Chiang Rai.  The annual balloon festival coincided with Valentine’s Day and Chinese New Year this year and was a popular and well attended as usual. 

We are driving from Chiang Rai to Chiang Mai to visit a very good Thai friend tomorrow but if no one contributes before we get back I’ll try to find time to write something about our village life.  Come on guys, share your story.

While we are waiting for someone else to share I thought I would entertain you with the story of my village.   We are located 55km from Chiang Rai in wide valley suitable for farming and fed by the Ing River.  It is a beautiful and tranquil area with easy access to mountains, a river, a waterfall, numerous mountain reservoirs, dirt trails for mountain biking and great roads for road biking.





The area was homesteaded roughly two generations ago by my wife’s grandparents and others.  Before that there was still military conflict in the area, especially on the mountain top twenty kilometers from us.  Many villagers relocated from villages in the Northern region but several villages in our area were populated by those from Isaan.

I have lived here full-time since we began building our house nearly eleven years ago.  You rarely see another foreigner here and those you do see are only visiting.  If you dig a little deeper you will find nearly a dozen households with foreign connections.  There are village women married to Chinese, Japanese, Germans, Swiss, English, Australians and Americans.

Living in a relatively remote location like this, necessitates getting out of the village fairly often.  Sometimes it is enough to drive to town for shopping and a meal.  We also like hiking in the mountains around us or going on road trips.  Flying to Bangkok doesn’t take much longer than driving to town and Bangkok holds the allure of friends, food and shopping so makes for a great break for a few days.

Chiang Mai is an enjoyable drive through the mountains and we just returned from a brief visit there.  We stayed with friends and found interesting places to hangout while we drank coffee and caught up.  It is always great to get home, though.

villagefarang   Today 08:24:44

Great pics and thanks for sharing...  I've been to Chiang Rai once and my wife and I really loved it.. many temples and beautiful scenery. We went up the mountains where the border guards were and took pics and stopped at a coffee shop in village overlooking valley. It was very nice... Next time we make it to Chiang Rai, will PM you to see if you would like to meet up...

Hopefully more expats will share their stories about where they came from, how they got here and how life is here now...

Kindly, Zeus

I thought of something while reading another topic and wanted to relate this story but I thought is was too far off topic to post there.  So far, there are only two of us on this topic so maybe we can be a bit more flexible in what is covered.  Anyway this post comes from the idea that we often look at things from our own perspective and don’t give enough thought to understanding the other guys point of view.  Sometimes all it takes is sitting down and having an open honest conversation but because of language and culture that isn’t always as easy as it sounds.

I recently spent two days with a Thai guy who, if I were being generous, was completely indifferent to foreigners before meeting me.  He was forced to sit in the front seat with me as I drove around Chiang Mai.  We talked, we ate, we took pictures and generally stayed in close proximity for two day.  He was put in this position because he is the boyfriend of one of our best friends.  For twenty years we have been good friends which means we are close to her parents and everyone who has entered her life during that time.

I am pretty sure she suggested they come visit us and stay at our house but we ended up going to see them instead.  I imagine the idea of going to meet old friends for the first time and stay in a farang’s house may have been a bit much.  I am sure he was aware of her having had a farang boyfriend or two in the past, which may have colored his views and added to his initial hesitance.  Now that we are acquainted and comfortable it will probably not be long before they come for a visit, as Chiang Rai is on their radar for business reasons as well.  So there are now multiple reasons to visit.

Just this morning the girls were discussing us guys on LINE and apparently our friend’s boyfriend can’t stop talking about me, which made me laugh but in a good way.  The way he phrased his probing and potentially problematic questions was very tactful and respectful but it was clear he had never had the opportunity to talk with someone like me, in an open, honest, and free flowing expression of ideas and concepts and he was looking for answers.  I have been know to tell people they are free to ask me anything but only if they really want an answer and are willing to listen.  I am very glad we got off to a good start because when doing things as couples the girls often pair off and the guys are left to entertain themselves at times.  They seem to be a good match so I am guessing we will be seeing more of him.

One reason for relating this story is to illustrate the importance of learning the language and being a little selective and sensitive to the kind of people you allow into your life.  Without my ability to speak Thai, those two days would have been very trying for everyone involved.  I am pretty sure at least one Thai guy has a new found understanding and appreciation of what some farangs think, after our time together.  If my wife or friend had been forced to play translator the whole time, I have no idea how things might have gone.  I get that some people are happy to limit their interaction to Thai females and expat friends but that is a very limited life if you are living in Thailand and there is so much more potential out there.

Chatwin,
Please share your story on where you came from, how you got here and what life has been like since you've been here.
Kindly, Zeus

This forum seems to be for beginners only.  Jobs, food, shelter, transportation, what to buy, where to buy and how much.  Not much interest beyond the basics. 

Why don’t you share more of your story while we are waiting.

Any expats are welcome to share their story, where they came from, what brought them to Thailand and how their lives are now that they are living here.

Hi villagefarang
I tend to agree with you on it being mainly beginners, I think this topic is about the best so far, I think your comment about the Thai language is really valid, very frustrating to all parties concerned.
Keep the the good writing, we would miss you.  Do you subscribe to any other forums?

A quick goole search of villagefarang will give you my blog, google+, twitter, facebook page and ThaiVisa with a few other odds and ends.  I stopped posting on ThaiVisa over a year ago after being voted the 3rd most popular poster two years in a row and I haven’t added to my blog for quite some time now but there is plenty of my old stuff out there.  I mainly stick to posting photos on my Village Farang page on FaceBook these days.

Posting links would be a bit over the top I think but Google is very easy.

Bludove wrote:

Hi villagefarang
I tend to agree with you on it being mainly beginners, I think this topic is about the best so far, I think your comment about the Thai language is really valid, very frustrating to all parties concerned.
Keep the the good writing, we would miss you.  Do you subscribe to any other forums?

Missed this thread. I will throw in my two bits over the next few days, during Songkran weekend. Good stories so far. Good vibes.Happy Songkran y'all.  dcb

ZW is from the south. What part of the States are you from, VF?  I'm a Canuck from further on up north. Anybody else?  Origins shed an interesting light on the how and why we arrived here, eh?  dcb

dcb
My midwestern origins had very little influence on me as we moved west when I was three and then on to Hawaii when I was thirteen.  The only thing I remember about my place of birth is visiting both sets of grandparents up to about the age of ten.

I do think the lack of continuity brought about by major moves at formative junctures in my life had a greater influence on me than my place of birth and may have had something to do with my ability to adapt here in Thailand.

I was a farm kid with a forest for a back yard, from the age of 5 to 15.  Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Now much of that paradise has been cut down and paved over. I recall tasting the fresh milk from the cows during milking very well. I pretty much left my broken home and went on the road with bands from the age of 16 on. I'm what musicians refer to as a "road warrior". Winding up in Thailand in my senior years to pursue a fresh avenue in my musical career was an easy transition. Such interesting stories we have, eh?  Thanks for your note. Cheers.  dcb

Happy Songkran y'all . . . dcb

Songkran is over dcb, so time to start writing your story.

Thanks for sharing all your experiences. I quite enjoyed reading them all along with the nice pictures.

I am from Singapore (so it's not too far away). I'm in my mid 30s. I am working in the Financial Sector, within Non-Life Insurance (which comprises of general insurance outside Life insurance)

Other than working and living in my native, i spent a short time in Timor-Leste (2 years), during the period the United Nations was administering the country.

My journey is not so interesting as you all. I had a cat, who was very close to me. He lived  a long age of almost 20 years before he died in my arms peacefully one morning. I am the only child of my parents, thus he was the closest "sibling" I ever had.

Currently i am "Happy" (what some of you will refer to as "Single")

The death of my cat took a toll on me, so much that if affected my then job in Singapore. (Singapore is also quite a competitive space to work). My then boss asked me to consider a sabbatical, but i did one step better and offered my resignation. (We, Singaporeans, are a workaholic sort - we love 12 hours a day and 7 days a week type of work) - so in 6 months, i would have served my notice and left the company

....and then, it was made aware to me that my company had recently completed an M&A of this company in Bangkok, Thailand. And so the idea was pitched if I would like to have a swansong at 1 more overseas stint. With my CV, getting a job was not difficult fortunately - they were offers from Europe as well but i wanted to stay close to home, so only SEA countries were considered. After viewing offers from Jakarta, Manila and Bangkok - I chose Bangkok in the end. I also had to take a very significant paycut, but as you can imagine - money does not motivate me and I wanted to challenge myself in a different environment.

Infrastructure in Central Bangkok is as close to Singapore. i was pretty confident i would enjoy Bangkok more than Dili, Timor-Leste.

So here I am, strictly for work. I hope to stay a few years and go back to Singapore some day. Some of my peers encouraged me to work less and settle down, and hopefully consider Thailand as an alternative retirement place. To be very honest, I do experience a better quality of life here than back home. Like Dili, i could actually appreciate the sunset daily.

I am still Singaporean at heart. I don't go out much other than shopping malls like MBK or Siam Paragon. I still go to the office on weekends (old habits die hard). I am also kept busy as Bangkok is a popular holiday destination for my friends, at any given week - almost 3 to 4 days are taken up by those who visit Bangkok (and those who make a small coffee slot for me). I speak very little conversational Thai to mingle with my colleagues and subordinates

So far it has been a nice experience. Although income tax here is really high

Hope i didn't bore you with the above and wishing everyone a nice weekend.

It’s always Entertaining to read & look at VillageFarang pictures.  If only I was 20 years younger & I had good health.  I grew up in California, Stockton, which was a farm town then, my father worked for the railroad. We had a country style house, when I was about 10 years old we moved Pleasant Hill, all I can remember is we had a lot of snakes, then to the Berkeley hills for grammar school, such a charming place to live, everyone walked home from school in those days, no one worried about children being harmed. Then we move to the Oakland hills for HighSchool, also a great place to live, then on to Junior College & Culinary school. Then married my first love for8years, no children, separated & divorced, my wife at that time didn’t want to support my Culinary choice in careers , so we went our own way. 2 years I didn’t date, lived by myself with 2 cats. Then one day a friend suggested that I answer a Bay Guardian personal ad. I ended up meeting 24 women over a years time, lots of coffee later I met my wife of 35 years this May.  Lucky me she was Thai,we met In Richmond California in her fiancé house, they were getting ready to separate.  I knew right away this was the womenI was looking for, she was a nurse inSanFrancisco and working nights 11 pm to 7am.I fell for her way before she did for me. I moved her out of her fiancée house ASAP and into a little cottage 3 months later I moved in.  6 months later her mom came to visit from Thailand, she said we should get married in Thailand, so we did. Then every year for more than 20 years we would spend our vacations in Thailand & one day retirement came and we decided to move to Thailand, we stayed 3 years and then we decided to live in both countries because we missed our friends so much, but we know that one day we will return to Thailand for good.  Thank You for letting me share. Patrick

VF challenged me to write my story after Songkran weekend, so here it is. I kept this as short as possible, omitting all kinds of juicy stories, which will one day appear in my memoirs -- a book of adventures that at least my family will have.
     I was born in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada in 1948. Lived in a small house by the factories, railroads and a big junkyard where the kids loved to play. I was still a tot when my family of four moved to the outskirts of the city. We lived in a decent home surrounded on three sides by farms and on one side by King's Forest, my backyard playground. As I grew up I worked on the farms picking fruit, pitching hay, delivering newspapers to the farmhouses. I became very interested in music. We had a Player Piano in the basement for my mother to play. I got my first guitar at age 11. We were happy. Playing in the forest and along Red Hill Creek accompanied by the big dog from next door -- life was magical. But tragedy struck and mother died. Father got remarried soon after. The wicked step mother thought my playing music made me rebellious so one day my guitar was gone. At the age of 15 I joined a band that lent me a guitar. All I could think of was getting out of that house that the step mother dominated. I suffered there until I was 17 and then I took off to work with bands on the road. I became a "road warrior" as we traveling players called ourselves. I ended up in California at the age of 19 with a band called Merryweather. We landed a record deal with Capitol. In the late 60s early 70s I lived for 5 years in California and rubbed shoulders with many musical and theatrical performers who are legends today. I lived in a band-house for over a year writing music and playing concerts with Rick Matthews aka Rick James. I loved the road. The band was my family. But sadly, from time to time, these families broke up. When I wasn't with a band I would travel anyway, one time hitchhiking across the USA -- Too many adventure stories for this post. Then I traveled all across Canada from east to west and to the far north. I formed a band with the now culturally legendary French Canadian writer Andre Paiement -- That band was called CANO musique. We had an A&M Canada record deal. With that band I saw places I had never imagined visiting. Standing on a mountaintop on the isle of St. Pierre with small owls in the grass encircling me and chanting. I often take the music of nature to inspire my music compositions.
     Then the music industry changed and record deals were becoming less and less. Bands were not being paid properly for gigs at the bars. Where I used to make a good buck in the bars between concerts, we were now beginning to pass the hat. I was aging. I did some work as a country music producer and later wrote film scores for documentaries and some drama. But moving from full time musician to part time producer left a financial void. I played at the world's fair in Japan in 1985. A friend there asked me to stay and teach English. I had no idea how to teach. My friend said "just talk". No way. I went to University of Toronto and did a bridging course (I dropped out of grade 12) and then I took a 2 year part time 6 credit, 8 subject course in TESL/TEFL aka TESOL. The first two years of teaching were unbelievably difficult, second only to composing a film score for a movie. More and more I became sidetracked from my life of music, only managing to put together temp bands to save my sanity.
     I tried to quit teaching but I was asked to teach English to adults who are victims of war and torture at Canadian Centre for Victims of Torture. In order to soften vicarious PTSD, I went home and played my guitar, bought some studio gear, continued to add to my musical skills.
     But I was really getting depressed -- Not because of the extraordinary people I worked with, but because I missed the road. Several years ago I asked for leave from my work to travel. My biological mother always wanted to go to SEA. She loved SEA and she often painted brilliant works of art dealing with the people, culture, landscape and wildlife. I chose to travel to Thailand. I spent a few days in BK, then I hit the road. Wow, it felt so good to get back out there with all of the magic and danger that goes along with traveling alone into remote areas where tourists never knew existed. I rode the rickety train, hiked through forests, explored a giant cave in Tarutao, dueled with territorial monkeys, dragged my overweight body up to temples, got into and out of dark alleys, filmed the locals. Some people asked what a farang was doing in a place where no farangs go. Hey, I'm a road warrior. I am illiterate but, because I'm a language teacher, I quickly threw together a set of survival strategies and essential phrases. My ability to draw pictures and cartoons also helped me to communicate via my sketch pad. I had my medical travel shots, but on two memorable occasions I became violently ill, ironically not from Thai food but from farang food.
     Then, one day, exhausted and dehydrated, I dropped into an open space restaurant with a roof over top in Prawet, BK.  A very lovely lady, the owner, walked up to me and spoke Thai. She knew some English but had never used it in conversation. Writing and literature were part of her learning forte. So I went with the flow. She kept bringing me dishes that I didn't order -- They were delicious but I was getting overstuffed, very hard to get a cold beer down into the remaining pockets of my stomach so I sipped slowly and we got to talking. She was single, in her 40s. We talked about her hometown in Nakhon Si Thamarat and her grandmother who was approaching her 90s. She added that she graduated with an honors degree in fine arts at the university in Nakhon Si Tamarat. I said, let's go visit, and so we did. We hiked all around and met the extended family. Her grandmother commented on me "nice smile, not too old looking". My wife to be closed the restaurant soon after because 7 Eleven bought the property. We traveled together everywhere after that. She was my guide and interpreter -- my road warrior pal. I paid for the flights and lodging. She paid for the taxis and food, etc. We shared the travel costs. We developed a strategy for communicating that would not have been possible had I not acquired the teaching and language acquisition strategies garnered from my knowledge acquired at University of Toronto.
     After that wonderfully magical experience, I had to go back to work at CCVT in Canada. We wrote emails to each other every day. Absence made the heart grow fonder. I made that arduous flight to Thailand many times after that requesting an aisle seat only. I get antsy on those long trips but I was following a dream, so it was ok. My future wife always made me welcome. I began living with her family, a family of chefs, at my wife's 3 storey townhouse. We have a nice apartment on the top floor -- no AC, but a lovely cross wind off the marsh and open fields to the southeast. We have two good fans to create a cross breeze at night. We had a pet wild bird, a yellow-vented bulbul, an awesome little pal. One day during heavy rains, rats got int to the roofs of the townhouses. While we were away at work, our little Rampung decided to fight a rat that somehow managed to get into our place. The evil doer chewed through a wall to get into the bird food. Heartbreaking. Best bird in the world if you happen to rescue a fallen chick. We still cry about Rampung today believing that the bird is in a good place with Rama 9 and Buddha.
     So, on a very hot day, we went to the local temple to do the traditional marriage. The family of chefs provided a feast for the monks who sang a wonderful chant that my new brother-in-law managed to record from the wings. From what I understand, a famous monk lead us through the marriage. Everybody was in awe. With regard to procedures, I fumbled all over the place, but I got through it, saving face. My mother-in-law gave us a cash wedding present, which we used to pay for the reception dinner after the wedding. I am so lucky to be part of this family with so much generosity and kindness.
     With great difficulty, I managed to get my wife a visa to visit Canada. She stayed for a month. She loved it. It was the fall season with all of the brilliant fall colours to feast our senses on. To me the weather was pleasant but my wife chose to wear winter clothing. Then I went back to Thailand one last time. We got officially married at the District in BK. I brought her back to Canada with me on a whim. "Do you want to come back to Canada with me?" "Yes, let's go" she replied, her spoken English improving steadliy. In Canada we applied for PR status (permanent resident), and my wife got an open work permit. She works as sous chef at a popular four star Thai restaurant. She works 6 days a week and she now has more money than me. Soon, her status will be official and we will fly back to our home in Prawet BK to a much improved home that the family has fixed up and made rat proof. My wife sends them money and they do the renovations -- There is one master-of-all-trades in the family too. We also have a lovely stretch of property with a cabin where the family grows pineapples in the lush valleys near Hua Hin. In the meantime, here we are back in Toronto: I want to move to Thailand and open a restaurant live-music cabaret. My wife wants to start a restaurant business in Canada. We often joke that we are going to trade places. And, deep down in my heart, I still remain a "road warrior". Much to my surprise and delight, my wife sings beautifully, so she serenades this restless soul and keeps me calm on stormy nights.  dcb