Dealing with loneliness in Hungary

Some people enjoy being alone.
I really like the fact that I don't have to socialize with anyone here if I am not in the mood for it.
I have my husband and he does all the talking with anything official.
Over the years I suppose I have "burnt out" with the general public.
Worked with the public all my work years and even then by the end of the day I had enough of people apart from close family.
When I was going to the gym here in Hungary I met several nice ladies who I enjoyed a few laughs and short conversations with.
Even had dinner parties between our apts and coffee dates in cafes.
It was nice but everyone moves on, one lady had moved to Germany then got married and had a baby.
The other moved to Canada.
I seem to relate more to people 20 or so years younger then myself mentally but am not interested in many of the activities they are into.
No need to work or move to find work.
There are different stages in life and for now I am happy enough just going day by day.
I have several friends that I've known over 50 years, Even they have changed with time and I don't agree with everything they say or do now days.
I think Hungary is very easy now days for the most part, signs are in English, people speak English, there is the internet and travel into and out of Hungary is easy.
Years back when I visited here in the old communist days, it was lonely to be the only English speaker around for weeks on end, no tv in English no internet .
Wasn't really interested in tv , think the lonely part was actually being around so many people who to me were just making noise, couldn't talk with them so couldn't relate to them, even though they were family. The few times we were alone just as a small family of my husband and child were the best times here in those days.Guess it's called being born a loner.

Now days it isn't all that different here then anywhere else.
There are tons of things for senior people to do here but my husband and I are not interested in being social, don't want to hear about other seniors aches and pains and young people are still searching for something and harder and harder for us to relate to them.
I'm good here, as long as I can walk and enjoy the buildings and weather here I am fine.
More people equal more problems.
Being lonely or feeling alone is more of a single persons problem, I think.
I am far too busy doing little things I enjoy or my husband enjoys or things that need to be done here that most of my free time is taken up.
Thought when I retired I'd have all the time in the world but actually sometimes we are busier then when we worked.
Here in Budapest there is always something to do or something that needs to be done, no time to feel lonely.
Also some people have always felt the need to be part of a group, I have never felt that way really.
Learned from a early age that we are all basically alone, even if married we share but 2 people are still not one in every single desire or way of thinking.
Some people have a hive mind and others don't.
I enjoy most things on my own, walking, shopping etc. are more fun by myself.
Friends are great once in awhile but we must all learn to relay on ourselves.
Born alone, die alone. That's what i was taught as a child and it works for me.
Nothing worst in the world to be in a night club or at a party and feel alone and outside.
Most of feeling lonely is all in ones own head.
Most so called  friendships often involve some sort of competition between friends. One always wants to call the shots or one up the other. Even happens in families .
One has more, one is more "interesting" one is this or that.
Sometimes being around people makes one feel more lonely then just being alone with a good book.
Not negative here just realistic.
Our son is going to move to Japan,he is looking forward to it. Guess being a loner is generational.
When I do spend a tiny bit of time with my old friends or see family I love every min. of it but after a few days, I need another break for a few years.
Guess I could possibly be a real hermit if needed.

The social scene in Budapest is fantastic. There is something for everybody. I met a lot of single people via work and also via Facebook social groups all nationalities and Hungarian.
There is no need to feel lonely in any city but the countryside is a different kettle of fish. People in my village area are much more family focused and maybe that is why they choose to live in the countryside with fewer neighbours and distractions.

Loneliness can be a serious topic, however I have not been a very sociable person during my life (I do not even celebrate my own birthday). Nevertheless, everybody I think needs contacts with neighbours or otherwise.

I am happily married and my wife is quite sociable (much more then I am),  contacts with my wife are more then fine (neither of us speak Hungarian) (one item of getting rid of loneliness settled).

We have quite a few neighbours who speak German (and often English). Apart from that I play chess locally and even if only a few members speak German or English, I feel very welcome (on occasion believe it or not if somebody really wants to speak to me they take their son or daughter who can speak English or German and translate). The club-members do not want something from me financially (gardeners and other workmen probably often do, with some of them I believe they are genuine when talking or drinking coffee/enjoying lunch or dinner, others not (westerners much be rich and there is something to get), still with a few I believe they appreciate the contact and talk).

So, so far contacts are fine (perhaps sometimes too much) for my wife and me, but honestly if both my wife and me would be handicapped, blind or otherwise I have serious doubts on the number of Hungarians (or other residents) who would keep an interest in maintaining contacts (which I can understand and is also an issue in other countries).

Bottom line I have no issues with loneliness so far in Hungary even if I am not able to speak Hungarian. My experience with Hungarians so far is extremely positive, making REAL friends is another topic though (these in my view have to build from youth).


The frustrating thing is that you can only have a social life if you have something to spend (have a house, being able to go somewhere with taxi, bus, car or alternatively being able to receive people at home. (Not all of us are able to do so).

We used to be allot more social here in Hungary then we are these days.
Not sure why not, just got tired of it.
It's true, it gets old just visiting in a small apt.
In the states we really only had people over when we had our house and swimming pool.
Not sure if people came to see us or our pool.
True, most of my friends are from childhood, as one ages people seem to enjoy comparing how well they have done in life against how well they think you have done.
Even my old friends of 50 years have changed and I am not as close to them as I used to be.
Boring to be judged by what toys one has , I could care less about what someone else has, what's it to me?
My husband doesn't really enjoy sitting at a pub or coffee house or sitting down and eating and talking much.
Used to be more into outdoor sports with friends, football, surfing or kayaking, swimming etc.
We like just going out for a long walk and that's not exactly entertaining for many people.
My husband used to play a Hungarian card game often with his old friends here from childhood but alas most have died.
We also don't make a big deal out of birthdays or holidays so that's sort of a kill joy for people.
There are many activities to do here, clubs and such but lately we just don't feel like hanging much with others. When you're in a club other people's vibes also get to you.
Got too many other things on our minds then meeting new people.
I'm not even sure what being ,"social" means these days.
In our youth it meant trying to find a date or new romance, not interested in that any longer!
I can hardly keep up with all my e-mail from family and friends, takes me weeks sometimes to catch up.
Of course if I spent less time on this site I might have a fighting chance with my mail.
When I was still working, 10 years back I never even wrote anyone over the internet and never did FB.
Too busy with my own life to bother making new friends etc.
My husband keeps me pretty busy with his crazy ideas, now it's him moving to Saipan, or at least visiting there.
In Hungary if you want local friends you have to act more like a local.
Do holidays  like they do etc.
When we lived in Erd or next door neighbor wanted us over for Xmas dinner.
We flat out told them we don't do gifts but we would bring over anything for a nice dinner that they wanted.
We brought a few things over for a shared meal at their house, they had known my in-laws for decades.
Well when it was time for gift giving and we had no gifts for them, their whole attitude changed. The music was turned off and they left the room in their own house! To be honest they only gave us a bottle of booze as a gift so we had nothing to be embarrassed about. We used to keep that man in wine all the time for nothing.
Ok, we got the message and just left, it was more then weird!
Most people don't get us and that's ok with us.

My idea of being social is being polite and maybe seeing people once in awhile.
It had been 30 some years since all my siblings and I were together at one time, after a few days it was enough.
My idea of being social in the past was a short talk at the gym with a few people and having our work lunch together with others.
My family has pretty much been my social life for ages.
Been invited to many activities in the past but refused them because my husband is not overly "social".
He was never one to coach little league or be a boy scout leader when our son was small, not a group activity sort  of person.

I have not read any other's replies, on purpose.

I think Hungary is a very lonely country to live in, an Hungarian will walk past you rather than say hello. Learn a few words of Hungarian, learn to say good morning and good evening, Hungarian people are very friendly. If you do not know any Hungarian then it can be very lonely. oh "Everyone speaks English", is simply not true, in Budapest most youngsters do, but older people do not, if you are out in the sticks you MUST learn some Hungarian.

If you want to be left alone, if that is your bag, that is extremely easy. Everyone will leave you alone. If you want a bit of company go to a dohanybolt or anywhere and just try to ask in Hungarian.

So my advice is learn a few words of Hungarian and then you will not be lonely. Do not take it for granted that "Everyone speaks English".

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

My idea of being social is being polite and maybe seeing people once in awhile..

Pleases and thankyous do not cost anything. By nature I am rather social but I stick out like a sore thumb for being "British" and not looking like "Hungarians", my face is not going to be on the cover of Male Vogue any time soon, but I know all my neighbours on first name terms and we are forever coming in and out of each others property. Learn some Hungarian manners or etiquette it will get you a long way, It will take you years to get öüőúüóűá sorted out, the Hungarians have far too many vowels and I cannot pronounce them properly, I have a Cockney accent, but just go out and everyone will help you out.

I agree with Marilyn going to pubs is not going to make friends, in Britain people go to the pub to socialise, in Hungary they go to drink or find a f... so don't look for friends in pubs it is not part of the culture here to sit around in pubs chatting about this or that. I like a drink and as smoke but it is not a social occasion like it is in Britain, except a couple of pubs I know (I am not telling you) but I am male so perhaps it is easier for me, I am on first name terms with a certain landlord and his daughter (nothing sexy obviously she works behind the bar too) and they are always pleased to see me because I am a "regular" or friend of the family whatever you want to call it and have been going there for five years, you have to get out there and just kinda open up.

You have to get two cipo, one on your left foot one on your right foot. Then you walk until you find somewhere you like., Budapest is a great city for walking.  You keep the back foot moving until you find somewhere you like.

Well that is how I do it,.

Slightly off topic, but Budapest is featured on a Netflix series called "The Road Trick" it's where an illusionist (Adam Trent) tours Europe. The first episode shows Budapest as being very friendly. Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

SimCityAT wrote:

..... Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

Yes, it's a true to an extent but most people cannot speak a word or refuse to try.  Nationalism trumps practicality.  The places where they are truly superb in English are The Netherlands and Scandinavia. Belgium a bit less.

SimCityAT wrote:

Slightly off topic, but Budapest is featured on a Netflix series called "The Road Trick" it's where an illusionist (Adam Trent) tours Europe. The first episode shows Budapest as being very friendly. Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

Yes, it is wrong of British English people just to assume that everyone speaks English. The youngsters have classes and because I am a cunning linguist I kinda teach them some English, no kiddy fiddling not saying that but they love to practice when I am trying to speak Hungarian to them they are trying to speak English to me and that is not going to work, is is it. But the assumption if I may call it that, that everyone in Hungary "can speak English", is simply false. My neighbours can't speak English at all, not a single word and why should they, I speak Hungarian or occasionally Roma, they are Hungarian and live in Hungary, why should they learn English? It is our job as foreigners to learn their language is it not

Oh I forgot I speak Roma as well but so what that is quite easy. I speak more languages than is listed here I am good at languages. Useless at most other things.

fluffy2560 wrote:

SimCityAT wrote:

..... Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

Yes, it's a true to an extent but most people cannot speak a word or refuse to try.  Nationalism trumps practicality.  The places where they are truly superb in English are The Netherlands and Scandinavia. Belgium a bit less.

Yes I had many Dutch friends and they spoke English quite well but with a heavy Dutch accent if there is such a thing. but (I am doing this in English obviously) he saaid when we visited them on the south of the netherlands, we were talking English and he said "sorry but I do not speak English every day" so it took a time for him to kinda "switch" and catch up.

I dunno I always call it "switching" but there is probably a technical word for it. Switch from Hungarian to English, I don't mean on the keyboard, I mean out of your brain, it takes a few seconds to "switch" languages before your brain gets into third gear. Over half the planet speaks two languages it is kinda kick a "th" into them I do not mean literally but "Th" is very hard for Hungarians. Catch them while they are young and they might be able to say "Th", older Hungarians not a chance to get a "Th" voiced or unvoiced out of them.

Aldi is hard work that way when half of it is in German, half in English and half in Hungarian.

No hang on that can't be right. I'm playing a game of three huffs, (That pun was especially for you)

fluffy2560 wrote:

SimCityAT wrote:

..... Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

Yes, it's a true to an extent but most people cannot speak a word or refuse to try.  Nationalism trumps practicality.  The places where they are truly superb in English are The Netherlands and Scandinavia. Belgium a bit less.

Surely, Trump's nationality trumps praticality?YYou always think if Trump is playing the King who is going to play the Ace?

President of North Korea did. He out-trumped Trumped.

SimonTrew wrote:

....

President of North Korea did. He out-trumped Trumped.

No, he only thinks he did.

fluffy2560 wrote:

SimCityAT wrote:

..... Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

Yes, it's a true to an extent but most people cannot speak a word or refuse to try.  Nationalism trumps practicality.  The places where they are truly superb in English are The Netherlands and Scandinavia. Belgium a bit less.

I do wish I could speak another language,typical American only know English.
Then again to me the best rock songs are in English so who needs the rest?
Too cool for school!  Yes, right...

SimonTrew wrote:

fluffy2560 wrote:

SimCityAT wrote:

..... Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

Yes, it's a true to an extent but most people cannot speak a word or refuse to try.  Nationalism trumps practicality.  The places where they are truly superb in English are The Netherlands and Scandinavia. Belgium a bit less.

Yes I had many Dutch friends and they spoke English quite well but with a heavy Dutch accent if there is such a thing. but (I am doing this in English obviously) he saaid when we visited them on the south of the netherlands, we were talking English and he said "sorry but I do not speak English every day" so it took a time for him to kinda "switch" and catch up.

I dunno I always call it "switching" but there is probably a technical word for it. Switch from Hungarian to English, I don't mean on the keyboard, I mean out of your brain, it takes a few seconds to "switch" languages before your brain gets into third gear. Over half the planet speaks two languages it is kinda kick a "th" into them I do not mean literally but "Th" is very hard for Hungarians. Catch them while they are young and they might be able to say "Th", older Hungarians not a chance to get a "Th" voiced or unvoiced out of them.

Aldi is hard work that way when half of it is in German, half in English and half in Hungarian.

No hang on that can't be right. I'm playing a game of three huffs, (That pun was especially for you)

My husband always asks me to not speak for awhile when we are about to do anything serious here in Hungary which requires him to speak Hungarian.
he needs to re think what he wants to say and how to say it without coming from a odd place.
Of course he is now 70 and even he says his brain is overloaded at times.
Sometimes when he is tired he uses both English and Hungarian at the same time!
Poor guy, must be hard to have a wife who will not stop joking around when one is trying to figure out the HU system.
I have learned over the years to shut up at "special times". In the long run it works out better to allow him to gather his thoughts so to speak.
At one time in history my eldest sister was pretty good and fluent in Spanish. She also says she needs to think and gather herself to remember Spanish since she doesn't speak it often now.
My father and step- dad would often practice speaking in a Slavic dialect just to keep their brains sharp.

fluffy2560 wrote:

SimonTrew wrote:

....

President of North Korea did. He out-trumped Trumped.

No, he only thinks he did.

Well if china sends all is goods to North Korea where is all our cheap stuff going to come from? You remember, it was "Made in Hong Kong" or "Made in Vietnam" or whatever.

Oh I am an idiot,. it will be "Made in North Korea"

My Dutch friend when I lived in Cairo, many yeasrs ago, he got seventy percent burns from having napalm dropped on him well he was Korean by birth but Dutch adopted. He never spoke Korean but we would speak in English and Dutch and Arabic. The parents were missionaries in Korea I dunno how or what. His name, probably still is, Kim Dijkstra, So you can imagine whast I think about dropping napalm out of helicopters. He survived millions didnt. that doesnt take much courage to drop it out of a helicopter. Look someone in the eyes before you kill them.

This is between you and me but I volunteer for the Royal British Legion, thast is my charity. I am not asking you to put a penny in the pot. But I have seen horrific injuries and I have wiped peoples and spent evenings making sure they are OK until the nurses get hold of them. We have both done strange things but I have scraped the skin off of six dead childrens bodies to bury them, in Cairo, and um throw their flesh away when they got blown up by a mine in the Red Sea,

I am not saying I liked doing it but I did it. I am no stranger to death,  there but for the grace of God go I. I think we both have a passion about safety and quite rifht tooo.

I suppose a man can get away with allot more then a lady can as far as going out drinking alone in public.
I have had a drink in a actual bar or pub only a handful of times and never alone.
Our HU friends aunt owned a bar in New Jersey and my husband and I would have a beer and play pool but they also served food and we were staying in the place, it was a old sort of boarding house building.
Had a few beers in Hungary but never was alone.
I do think women drink here in Hungary but "ladies" do so at home and not in public.
Old fashioned that way.
Ok with me.
Very strange that I've worked in bars and in casinos but never drank alone in a bar. Just doing my job I suppose.
I get very shy and embarrassed if anyone should look twice at me, I turn into a 19 year old teenager again and hate the attention.
It's odd , being 63 but having the social skills of a 19 year old.
No wonder I enjoy being at home, it's safe.
Last week at a pool my husband was off doing his laps and I was alone just chillin in a lounge chair.
Some," Old Dude" who seemed to be a Hungarian man, sort of was staring at me like he was about to come over and introduce himself.
That freaked me the heck out!
I just looked down like I was half asleep and didn't dare make eye contact with him.
It's is really horrid when "dirty old men" want to talk to you.
It's also hard to realize maybe I'm an "old lady" and they feel comfortable talking with me, no way...
Dang being shy never really goes away over the years I suppose.
My husband would of had a fit if he came back and saw some old dude bothering me, so odd at this age to still have the same issues as a younger person would have. Guess some of us never grow up.

Well where can you get an Old Fashioned? Is that too old-fashioned?

I ask ast the dohanybolt where can I get a Havana, they tell me, Havana

I was quite good at snooker and pookl until my eyesight went a bit, i am not blind or whatever just will have to turn a lamp on soon so that I can see the screen, the missus doesnt like turning lamps on I need lamps on, to be able to see properly. This is normal but I am about 4 diopter in each eye, quite shortsighted

you need damned good eyes to see through my glasses. I was quite good at snooker and pool but if your eyeseight is no good you have no chance. And the pub I am thinking about in Hungary has the crappiest pool table in the world and the worst decoration and so on, but it is a chatty pub where everyone knows everyone, as it should be. It is my little secret because where arse the best pubs in Budapest, well find them yourself I am not a tourist guide. I dont go there now since we moved but you can take those big loud noisy town pubs.

Oh and you can smoke a cigarette in there hmmm.... they also have my British number plates on their collection, it is that kind of pub, A good pub, proper pub. The only thing wrong is it does not serve dark beer but may do now, a lager is very refreshing in summer but the dreher or szoproni are brewing some nice IPAs now, not as nice as an English IPA but getting very close they are making a good job of trying they are very hoppy and nice. And thankfully hungarian hops so I am not sending my money all round the world to get hops flown back to Hungary.

Hungarian fruit and veg is the best in the world and it is "seasonal" as it should be, not flown in from half way across the world to be on your table. Food miles or whatever call it nowadays.

So have food now need to find table.

I see a lot of you talking about loneliness not being a problem yet you are all married saying that. Of course you don't get lonely, you have someone there with you. I am moving there in 30 days and am seriously worried about the loneliness factor. However, I seem to make friends faster overseas than I do in the states, so I'm sure I will be fine. While it isn't in the plans, I also hope to find someone to share my time with, but that most likely won't happen given my taste in men. Germany, Spain or England, shit even Austria would have been better especially since I know some German, but they all wanted EU paperwork so Budapest it is. Good thing I love the city.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

....I do wish I could speak another language,typical American only know English.
Then again to me the best rock songs are in English so who needs the rest?
Too cool for school!  Yes, right...

Good job you didn't say something like, "I only speak American".

If there's one thing that riles the English (well me anyway), it's someone saying that!

Ksnook wrote:

I see a lot of you talking about loneliness not being a problem yet you are all married saying that. Of course you don't get lonely, you have someone there with you. I am moving there in 30 days and am seriously worried about the loneliness factor. However, I seem to make friends faster overseas than I do in the states, so I'm sure I will be fine. While it isn't in the plans, I also hope to find someone to share my time with, but that most likely won't happen given my taste in men. Germany, Spain or England, shit even Austria would have been better especially since I know some German, but they all wanted EU paperwork so Budapest it is. Good thing I love the city.

That's a very good point. 

But nearly everyone posting here is shacked up with a Hungarian long term.

How long will it be before you're shacked up with someone?

I'm telling you, it's fatal attraction Hungary.  You come alone at your peril because the chances are you ain't leaving alone.  It's nigh on impossible not to be charmed....

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

SimonTrew wrote:

fluffy2560 wrote:

Yes, it's a true to an extent but most people cannot speak a word or refuse to try.  Nationalism trumps practicality.  The places where they are truly superb in English are The Netherlands and Scandinavia. Belgium a bit less.

Yes I had many Dutch friends and they spoke English quite well but with a heavy Dutch accent if there is such a thing. but (I am doing this in English obviously) he saaid when we visited them on the south of the netherlands, we were talking English and he said "sorry but I do not speak English every day" so it took a time for him to kinda "switch" and catch up.

I dunno I always call it "switching" but there is probably a technical word for it. Switch from Hungarian to English, I don't mean on the keyboard, I mean out of your brain, it takes a few seconds to "switch" languages before your brain gets into third gear. Over half the planet speaks two languages it is kinda kick a "th" into them I do not mean literally but "Th" is very hard for Hungarians. Catch them while they are young and they might be able to say "Th", older Hungarians not a chance to get a "Th" voiced or unvoiced out of them.

Aldi is hard work that way when half of it is in German, half in English and half in Hungarian.

No hang on that can't be right. I'm playing a game of three huffs, (That pun was especially for you)

My husband always asks me to not speak for awhile when we are about to do anything serious here in Hungary which requires him to speak Hungarian.
he needs to re think what he wants to say and how to say it without coming from a odd place.
Of course he is now 70 and even he says his brain is overloaded at times.
Sometimes when he is tired he uses both English and Hungarian at the same time!
Poor guy, must be hard to have a wife who will not stop joking around when one is trying to figure out the HU system.
I have learned over the years to shut up at "special times". In the long run it works out better to allow him to gather his thoughts so to speak.
At one time in history my eldest sister was pretty good and fluent in Spanish. She also says she needs to think and gather herself to remember Spanish since she doesn't speak it often now.
My father and step- dad would often practice speaking in a Slavic dialect just to keep their brains sharp.

yes you know exactly what I mean then, just wait a few seconds while I "switch". I went to the shop and i had to "switch" into Hungarian and then back into English, I think that is quite normal but people who are not bilingual or multilingual wonder why you are "switching". I really think that is normal. My wife speaks good English and native Hungarian but I have to "switch" into French if we go to France, which was ages ago, but now I am "switching" Hungarian, French and English. Translating you may call it but it is not translating, I can translate, but monolinguals think you are translating in your head and you are not translating it, you are thinking in that language if you can call it thinking, you dont translate it in your head do you. So I miss a hell of a lot. The Hungarian is in my head right now for several kinds of fruit. But ask me whast ok an orange is a narancs ok got that one.

The missus and are constantly all over the place when I ask her for something in Hungarian and she replies in English and what? No I asked for a cigarette (the wife doesn'"t smoke) I did not ask for the fags of all nations.

But then she thinks that erudite is a type of glue.

cdw057 wrote:

I am happily married

How is that possible? I've been unhappily married for eight years.

I always say, if you couldn't laugh where would you be; Germany.

That is hard to get used to that Hungarians really dont laugh much, once you get to know them then they will smile and laugh, but not at first, it takes a lot to get a laugh out of a Hungarian.

These are cultural differences more than anything. they are not language differences as such, but the English sense of humour well we will laugh at anything and you have to be careful in Hungary if you do anything for a joke in public they think you are a lunatic. They really do. Oh I only did that pratfall for a joke and next thing ambulance there. But that is just a cultural difference. It may be different for women and men, I know that is sexist, but I expect to look like an idiot sometimes that is accepted for me as a man that I am an idiot, I don1t think a woman would get away with it here in Hungary doing a pratfall or any physical humour,. I think that would be very badly frowned on. But as I say, that is a cultural difference, women are supposed to be either Marilyn Monroe or safely chained up to the kitchen sink.

Walking down the street humming some old tune, that will get you looks. Whats wrong with having a hum or song while you are walking along. Get very strange looks for that.

My continued friendships,  even when I am back in the States, is with a few coworkers, one or two students now grown up, and two families that owned businesses I frequented. You have to work hard to find a good friend, but once you do, it's for life.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

fluffy2560 wrote:

SimCityAT wrote:

..... Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

Yes, it's a true to an extent but most people cannot speak a word or refuse to try.  Nationalism trumps practicality.  The places where they are truly superb in English are The Netherlands and Scandinavia. Belgium a bit less.

I do wish I could speak another language,typical American only know English.
Then again to me the best rock songs are in English so who needs the rest?
Too cool for school!  Yes, right...

I would have thought you had some Spanish from where you lived. I learned Spanish (Mexican Spanish) in Texas. I am surprised but you are right most Americans do not learn another language. The problem is, it gets harder as you get older. If you bash a sound system and something into a child when they are young, they will not remember the words not expecting that, but will remember the sounds,. It is far too late for me to get Hungarian pronunciation right as I do not have the Hungarian sound system. I know what it should sound like


i did computational linguistics at university, before the days of google, my thesis was on statistical machine translation when it was even worse than it is now. But by about the age of fifteen if you don't have the sounds in your mouth you will never have them, so kinda sing nursery rhymes in French or whatever. I can do the French nasal sounds which my Hungarian wife cannot do because they are not in her sound system but are in mine. (I am not French, fortunately).

(del weong place)

I tend to only date Black men, so I pretty much shot myself in the foot there and will most likely be taking a year off of from finding love. When I was in Budapest last summer I saw one black man and he was with his sister. So I saw two people of African descent, although I also wasn't looking. However I really do just find people of other ethnicities attractive so I suppose you never know. Like I said before I tend to make friends and get along with people better when I'm not in the States so never never. Haha

fluffy2560 wrote:

I'm telling you, it's fatal attraction Hungary.  You come alone at your peril because the chances are you ain't leaving alone.  It's nigh on impossible not to be charmed....

Well I got a nice new bed and it matress and bedlamps and stuff I was trying to charm... i thought you were busy with the fluffiettes

You have to go and stick your boots in my new cement don't you, I had her in the arms of my clutches which is not saying muches but may I 'troduce missustoad. I sent her your way and said, if I may, she is welcome to join us here you are a swindler. I'm swindling her in and this where we begin I said come here and join our old club.

I better dust off cos we dont want her sitting in dust on those seats that's behind ya
But I'll welcome er in, give a tonic and gin, maybe slice of a lemon or two. Some ice and a slice would be quite nice

One person alone is too few.

fluffy2560 wrote:

I'm telling you, it's fatal attraction Hungary.  .

Farts are attractive in Hungary?

SimonTrew wrote:

.....
Well I got a nice new bed and it matress and bedlamps and stuff I was trying to charm... i thought you were busy with the fluffiettes

You have to go and stick your boots in my new cement don't you, I had her in the arms of my clutches which is not saying muches but may I 'troduce missustoad. I sent her your way and said, if I may, she is welcome to join us here you are a swindler. I'm swindling her in and this where we begin I said come here and join our old club.

I better dust off cos we dont want her sitting in dust on those seats that's behind ya
But I'll welcome er in, give a tonic and gin, maybe slice of a lemon or two. Some ice and a slice would be quite nice

One person alone is too few.

Wot?

Ksnook wrote:

I tend to only date Black men, so I pretty much shot myself in the foot there and will most likely be taking a year off of from finding love. When I was in Budapest last summer I saw one black man and he was with his sister. So I saw two people of African descent, although I also wasn't looking. However I really do just find people of other ethnicities attractive so I suppose you never know. Like I said before I tend to make friends and get along with people better when I'm not in the States so never never. Haha

Hungary isn't exactly full of black dudes but there are some around.  Difficult narrow selection for Eastern Europe.

One of them works in my local Tesco (supermarket) but he looks about 45-50 and I think he's married to a Hungarian as many foreigners are.  Speaks pretty good Hungarian and I am sure I've seen his kids in the park and school with Grandma.   Certainly down in the city you might come across some, possibly around the Universities or just visiting.

Place I saw plenty of black guys was in Bucharest - I was working there a couple of years on and off.  Most of them seem to be medical students.  Not very helpful for Budapest unfortunately. Hope you find someone.

fluffy2560 wrote:

Hungary isn't exactly full of black dudes but there are some around.

Whichever way you put it, it is going to sound racist to somoene. I do a double-take when I see a black man just because it is such a rarity I am not worried about the colour of your skin but it is such a rarity to see a black man that I do a double take. I would never in England which has and again I am not being rude lots of black men and women so if you see what I mean I would not "notice" that they were black. But yes a black man or woman is hard to find in Hungary. That is the Windrush you know, that loads of Black people arrived in England and "No Dogs, Blacks or Irishmen" on the lodging doors I am not sure that is true, I think that is apocryphal. But "We" (the British) got used to seeing black people around all the time and kinda didn't notice their colour, which is as it should be.

fluffy2560 wrote:

SimonTrew wrote:

.....
Well I got a nice new bed and it matress and bedlamps and stuff I was trying to charm... i thought you were busy with the fluffiettes

You have to go and stick your boots in my new cement don't you, I had her in the arms of my clutches which is not saying muches but may I 'troduce missustoad. I sent her your way and said, if I may, she is welcome to join us here you are a swindler. I'm swindling her in and this where we begin I said come here and join our old club.

I better dust off cos we dont want her sitting in dust on those seats that's behind ya
But I'll welcome er in, give a tonic and gin, maybe slice of a lemon or two. Some ice and a slice would be quite nice

One person alone is too few.

Wot?

I was doing for "one leg too few" and missed. The genius peter cook, I love the summing.up in the courtroom ()and I watched a documentary of the geinue judge and I have read his summing-up in a legal journal.

I have also read the autopsy on Beethoven"s liver, "covered in Pea-Sized nodules twice the normal size" Well the liver is the largest of the parenchymla viscera. More intestinal tubing than the finest plumber in Vienna would know whast to do with (that takes a lot of guts).

"Had he not been so fond of alcohol", the J Alc and J continues, "he may have gone on to do some great works". What? Nine symphonies, forty seven concerti and god knows how many fiddly  bits not good enough for you ? what with the wife bashing at the door, back rent on the piano installments, nine kids to feed what more do you want?

In the Journal of Alcohol and Alcoholism, a learned journal that I seem not to get delivered, which makes me wonder, if I don't, who does?

Go easy Mr. Beethoven, that was your fifth.

There is one organization called inter nations. There are many activities and get togethers. There is a small monthly fee like 6euros or so.
Gabi

SimonTrew wrote:

fluffy2560 wrote:

Hungary isn't exactly full of black dudes but there are some around.

Whichever way you put it, it is going to sound racist to somoene. I do a double-take when I see a black man just because it is such a rarity I am not worried about the colour of your skin but it is such a rarity to see a black man that I do a double take. ....But "We" (the British) got used to seeing black people around all the time and kinda didn't notice their colour, which is as it should be.

I know it's not PC but what else to call black folk but black guys or white folk white guys?   

I've worked a lot in Africa and even there there's a mega differentiation amongst black people and tribal loyalties.  And what to do about it?  I know colour is not the primary differentation but there's nowhere else to go.  I know a white guy who is really keen on black gals - he said to me, once black, never back. Good for him.  Is that racist? 

But on the wider questions, I was tip-toeing around a feminist and gender equality specialist once and she said to me, "don't bother, I've been on so many human rights projects and I've even interviewed 12 year old prostitutes in Bangladesh so spare me the sensitivity. It is what it is.  If we don't call it out, and mess around, there's less awareness" or words to that effect. Was she right? I dunno but it 'twas a total eye opener for sure anyways.

I've got daughters so I am always thinking Margarent Atwood's thinking when it comes to my own kids:

“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

fluffy2560 wrote:

SimCityAT wrote:

..... Saying that, it is with the younger generation that do speak English.

Yes, it's a true to an extent but most people cannot speak a word or refuse to try.  Nationalism trumps practicality.  The places where they are truly superb in English are The Netherlands and Scandinavia. Belgium a bit less.

I do wish I could speak another language,typical American only know English.

Never too late!!

gabi12 wrote:

There is one organization called inter nations. There are many activities and get togethers. There is a small monthly fee like 6euros or so.
Gabi

that is not quite true. i get emails from them of upcoming activities in budapest etc constantly in my inbox. they are very expensive events that normal people cannot afford to pay for, that is how they make their money,  organising or hosting these expensive dinners. the six euros is not the issue, that they always organise a dinner in the most expensive restaurant in town and so on, it is a bit of a rip off in my opinion, if it suits zou so be it but i think it is well overpriced for what it offers

Loneliness is a state of mind......the reality is we are never never alone......keep this on mind.....