REDFLAG? : Viet Girlfriend wants to move in my apartment

The  girls here take a relationship much more seriously than western girls. They are usually thinking marriage and babies.

There is no greater security than doubt.   

That is the only red flag needed...     

I certainly wouldn't call it normal. Sounds way to quick to me. I'd be giving it more time to knowing the woman before taking that step.

Remember mate yr the head of the food chain with local woman I personally would not let her past the front door. I've had too many women here looking for a suger daddy. I'm dating a local girl at the moment she is the only one to put her hand in her pocket and bye me something no matter how much it was and that went down really well with me as poor as she is she likes to help out and I like that. your call mate but be wise
Gwyn

Gwyn Hill wrote:

Remember mate yr the head of the food chain with local woman I personally would not let her past the front door. I've had too many women here looking for a suger daddy. I'm dating a local girl at the moment she is the only one to put her hand in her pocket and bye me something no matter how much it was and that went down really well with me as poor as she is she likes to help out and I like that. your call mate but be wise
Gwyn

^ Thanks for all your replies.

I'm definitely becoming more cautious the more I skim through this website. 

Interesting that you mention your current date offering to pay for some things as I realized the girl I'm dating never seems to even bother pulling out her wallet for any meal, or if she even has one.  Although I do understand the major economic differences between the average Vietnamese and foreigner but even I'm sure it has to be considered a little rude here in Vietnam if she never offers to pay here and there right?

I wonder why a great majority (~99%) of the posts about strange relationships with Vietnamese women, or relationships with strange Vietnamese women, are created by first time posters. 

I also wonder why a great majority of them (~99%) never hang around afterwards.  Have we ever seen any of those who had problems with women became a regular (or semi-regular, or even quasi-regular) poster?

Maybe not so incidentally, the OP, who just joined today, lives in CA but says he's "been dating a vietnamese girl in hcmc for about a month and relatively new to the social norms here Vietnam."  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, my friends.

Ciambella wrote:

I wonder why a great majority (as in 99%) of the posts about strange relationships with Vietnamese women, or relationships with strange Vietnamese women, are created by first time posters. 

I also wonder why a great majority of them (as in 99%) never hang around afterwards.  Have we ever seen any of those who had problems with women became a regular (or semi-regular, or even quasi-regular) poster?

Maybe not so incidentally, the OP, who just joined today, lives in CA but says he's "been dating a vietnamese girl in hcmc for about a month and relatively new to the social norms here Vietnam."  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, my friends.

I dont understand what you're trying to say here.  This website along with various posts about relationships in Vietnam appears on the first page of a google search so I'm sure it leads to many first time visitors/posters looking for quick advice.  And I lived in CA but have been living in Vietnam for the past 3 months.

First of all, I'd say it's totally normal that a local Vietnamese women expects you, the Westerner, to pay for everything or most of it. Those cases where the women "pay for everything even when they're poor" would be the exception in my opinion and I would not read much into that.

As for her wanting to move in, well, based on the "standard", it certainly is not the norm but heck, she's just going all in with her chance to hook a Westerner. It doesn't mean she's a bad person, she's just going for it because you're a good chance of a better life. As long as you're not married or don't have kids with her, you're safe so I'd say just enjoy the ride!

Ciambella wrote:

I wonder why a great majority (~99%) of the posts about strange relationships with Vietnamese women, or relationships with strange Vietnamese women, are created by first time posters. 

I also wonder why a great majority of them (~99%) never hang around afterwards.  Have we ever seen any of those who had problems with women became a regular (or semi-regular, or even quasi-regular) poster?

Maybe not so incidentally, the OP, who just joined today, lives in CA but says he's "been dating a vietnamese girl in hcmc for about a month and relatively new to the social norms here Vietnam."  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, my friends.

Trolls.

I'm always surprised when the regular members take the bait.

Maybe they are "deep state" trolls after all...

  <----- 

I don't see where the trolling is. He's been in Vietnam for three months and dating a local girl (like thousands of expats before him) and is wondering about this, thus his first post.

It is (far) easier to be critical than correct

Have you guys exchanged bodily fluids? If so, then what's the prob here? It's not like you're gonna be living here until the end of time.

WillyBaldy wrote:

First of all, I'd say it's totally normal that a local Vietnamese women expects you, the Westerner, to pay for everything or most of it. Those cases where the women "pay for everything even when they're poor" would be the exception in my opinion and I would not read much into that.

As for her wanting to move in, well, based on the "standard", it certainly is not the norm but heck, she's just going all in with her chance to hook a Westerner. It doesn't mean she's a bad person, she's just going for it because you're a good chance of a better life. As long as you're not married or don't have kids with her, you're safe so I'd say just enjoy the ride!

Thanks for the honest replies.  I definitely don't expect a serious relationship with her but just wanted to learn more about what to expect in the future when it comes to whats normal and what's not here in Vietnam.

QuidProQuo wrote:

Have you guys exchanged bodily fluids? If so, then what's the prob here? It's not like you're gonna be living here until the end of time.

It's not necessarily a problem for me.  I do plan on living here long term so I figured it would be important to know whether something like this is to be expected dating Vietnamese women in general.  Although the circumstance I am in is not the typical foreigner dating some local poor village girl.  She does come from what I would consider a upper-middle class background so I'm sure money isn't a huge issue for her.  I was just alittle surprised as I didn't know relationships move so quickly here.

Ciambella wrote:

I wonder why a great majority (~99%) of the posts about strange relationships with Vietnamese women, or relationships with strange Vietnamese women, are created by first time posters. 

I also wonder why a great majority of them (~99%) never hang around afterwards.  Have we ever seen any of those who had problems with women became a regular (or semi-regular, or even quasi-regular) poster?

Maybe not so incidentally, the OP, who just joined today, lives in CA but says he's "been dating a vietnamese girl in hcmc for about a month and relatively new to the social norms here Vietnam."  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, my friends.

I do

She's probably trying to save money on rent /  can't stand her relations place anymore. A hole in the home beats a homie in the hole.

***

WoW!!    ..such unfamiliar news...     

Do yourself a favor. Find a great Viet or Thai girl who is an orphan. You will avoid all the BS with your better halfs family should you get serious.

Kooler42 wrote:

Do yourself a favor. Find a great Viet or Thai girl who is an orphan. You will avoid all the BS with your better halfs family should you get serious.

...or a widow

While I have not read every input to this subject I will add my two dong worth. I wish I could count the number of guys that had these gals move in, and some will, most won’t, then can not get them out. I have known men that had their passports taken by the unwanted roommate, clothing taken etc and a whole host of other drama.
  Then to I know of two many cases that the men were robbed of everything. One such lady did this in our city, whike hatching the idea on an online dating site from another city in VN. The police caught her quickly and she got 15 years in one city and 15 years in prison from the other city. And during the process learned she was pregnant.
Moral of the story, might be better to keep an arms length relationship and not have them bring luggage or unpack

Kooler42 wrote:

Do yourself a favor. Find a great Viet or Thai girl who is an orphan. You will avoid all the BS with your better halfs family should you get serious.

Might put an add on Craigslist - Vietnamese female who is an orphan required.

Girls are the same everywhere. Some good,  some bad.  Do what feels right for you but consider her culture as well.

OP, what is your concern? Her being a freeloader (not contributing to any household expenses? From rent to food and utilities down to her paying NETFLIX and the internet bill.

As a man, you might like having her around?

Are you worried about the aftermath if you break up?

basoon123 wrote:

Gwyn Hill wrote:

Remember mate yr the head of the food chain with local woman I personally would not let her past the front door. I've had too many women here looking for a suger daddy. I'm dating a local girl at the moment she is the only one to put her hand in her pocket and bye me something no matter how much it was and that went down really well with me as poor as she is she likes to help out and I like that. your call mate but be wise
Gwyn

^ Thanks for all your replies.

I'm definitely becoming more cautious the more I skim through this website. 

Interesting that you mention your current date offering to pay for some things as I realized the girl I'm dating never seems to even bother pulling out her wallet for any meal, or if she even has one.  Although I do understand the major economic differences between the average Vietnamese and foreigner but even I'm sure it has to be considered a little rude here in Vietnam if she never offers to pay here and there right?

My thread is at the top of the forum for some reason and it isn't too different from yours.

I've always paid for meals. But the girls would purchase wet tissues, drinks, dessert soups, etc. when we are walking around.