Is this young Moroccan man playing with me?

@alicia dee

Well, just because you found a good person does not mean you get to generalise on the rest of the Moroccans or the nation!

Its like saying all Moroccans- educated and non are the same.   One can say the same thing about all Americans- that they’re into guns, drugs, womanising/ men, running after money and generally pretty ignorant.  Not true any of it!

@Maria Valladarez

Nigeria is a Muslim country with Christianity.

Just thought I’d enlighten you!

I think social media allow us to create fake identity, maintain fake identity and allows us to be who we want to be. Man with principles and morals wont play with you, wont ask you for money no matter what. I think just this young spoilt brats are looking for an easy way out. I am in immigrant living in the UK and I know Uk is not a paradise epecially after brexit. Unless you make it as a paradise by making right choices in your life.

@RR@ Frankly, I did not understand your intent well, because the topic is in one valley and your answers are in another valley. What do orphans and street children have to do with the issue of young people who warn of poor countries who dream of working in Europe or America?

@hosnkhatimaa

There were 2 topics, so relevant to my answer.

1) Poor people of Morocco dreaming of escaping to the Western world and end up doing exactly the same job, but with higher pay.

2) Because of restrictive traditions, religion, culture, Moroccans, especially the men,  think that ALL Western women are easy and can be seduced with a smile and easy sexual freedom.

3) Some Moroccan men actively seek older western women to furnish their dreams and then disappear.

4) Some marry Westerners and then disappear or make life hell by making various promises or demands.

5) Unwanted children are the product of an uncaring and broken system.

So, this is my answer.

@RR@ Oh, it is true that you are right, even if there are many things that are hidden from me and you, but in general you are right.

Thank you 😊

@GuestPoster7420 easy way to get an answer. Tell him you are moving to Morocco. You have no intentions of bringing him to you. If he is very adamant about coming to you, it's probably for visa. Next time you fly to Morocco, ask him to take care of you. Tell him the tickets expensive and ask him to stay with the family. It's only fair. A serious man who is in love with you would accept.  There are major signs of a typical Moroccan man. Culturally they are raised to care for their wife. If they are Muslim, religiously they are taught to take care of their wife. Not the other way around. Coming from a foreigner married to a Moroccan.

@urbanshopping101 it's all about personality. My husband is 10 yrs younger than me. He asked me out I said no. We became friends. 5 months later asked me out again, I said no due to age. 4 more months he spent convincing me that age meant nothing to him. In fact, his mother is older than my own parents. However, when we hung out with friends most people said they thought he was my age if not older. It's a joke we now have between us. We enjoy the same things and he adopted my son. They are very close. Due to the cancer treatments he received shortly after we married he can't have kids. It doesn't matter to us. We are happy. We have our own hobbies, but also enjoy a lot of the same things. We became best friends before we ever dated. I was the same way about age difference....but it the end it really doesn't matter

@GuestPoster7420 I strongly disagree. I have seen marriages or fullfilling relationship where wife is foreign and older and those relationship lasts. one of my Moroccan friend said that he is not attracted to young girls. He does not resonate with their mindset and values.  By the way he is UK born well established so does not need visa or money.  Culture is one thing and reality another ........and Moroccans guy living in US or in Western Europe are no longer Moroccans that lived in Morocco. Mindset and values has changed and they learned that conservative and traditional bringing up in Morocco does not help them to establish successful life in Europe

I met a very caring man whilst on holiday about 10 months ago.

He has always been the same and attentive. Even when we are apart and never asked for gifts or money.

The main red flag for us is the age difference as I am 18 years older.

From the start I made him aware of this and we spoke about problems having a family etc. as ideally he would like a family. Me also and we both know due to me being older it could not happen.

Everything was going well. Contact when I was not in Morocco was constant and when I was there he took care of everything.

I was introduced to some of his family and they were all happy for us.

Something else that made me slightly nervous was that he had mentioned he would like to come to the UK. I made him aware at this point which was the start of our relationship that this may not be possible and if so it would be well in the future due to some situations in my life.

This did not deter him and he started talking of us settling elsewhere.

He has now in the last month taken a job in another country which he only accepted as I agreed to go and see him there. He is finding it hard as away from everyone.

Everything was going OK until about 2 week ago and his manner to me changed. I asked him what was happening.

He said his Mother wants him to marry and when he said he wanted to marry me she has told him she will not accept this. I was ok as a friend but not a wife.

She wants him to marry a young Muslim girl from Morocco.

He has now ended our relationship after several discussions with his Mother as he wants to make her happy and will not argue with her due to her age and health.

When I try ask him things I now get he has stopped loving me etc.and even said the age was a problem.  He keeps say how sorry he is and he can't be with me.

I know their Mothers are a high priority to them but would he really shut down our relationship and feelings based on his Mother's opinion and advice? I have asked his friend who has said yes this is correct especially as he is the last at home and youngest. Is this true?

Plus if I keep on ask things he gets angry and defensive or just ignores what I ask. Is this normal too?

@inescoreiadasilva ******

@GuestPoster7420 where is he from? Fes?

@GuestPoster7420 they don’t care about people. feelings only theirs .

@GuestPoster7420 I encourage you to read my story and recognize him.

Hello Maria Valladarez,

All members' usernames starting with Guest are no longer on the website. These are deleted profiles.

All the best

Bhavna

@GuestPoster7420

Hi,

I can’t believe what I read here! How can you judge people this way? This is a sign of hatred!

I would like to see those statistics of yours too, amazing!!!

Hello Lashmi,

Please be aware that usernames starting with "Guest" are no longer on the website.

Regards

Bhavna

@Lulu1981 I also met a Moroccan who is 18 years older than me for four months. I have not seen his family yet because I am not so sure whether we can have a future or not due to huge age gap. But he said to me even if his parents don‘t agree with us, he will still be together with me. He does not ask for money directly. However he do mentioned he has a poor job and his parents are very sick. But I followed the advice of other sisters and did not send him money yet.

@javava88 I have to agree you have been given good advice by others to not give him money.  Luckily this was one thing I never had from my ex as he never asked for money or mentioned he needed any. If I went to pay for anything he used to stop me.

I am just finding it so hard to accept he has left me due to his Mother not accepting me. I have read many places this does happen. But does it really or is it an excuse?

People at home have said he has left me because he wanted a visa .I just feel if it was about a visa he would still be with me and would be keeping me happy so he can try and get this as he knows how I have fallen for him.

But maybe I am just blind to this.

I miss him all the time.

I really hope everything works out better for you and that all goes well and his family accepts you. Or if they don't that he puts you as his priority.

Keep getting to know him but keep your mind open as I know how the heart can take over.

@javava88 I have to agree you have been given good advice by others to not give him money. Luckily this was one thing I never had from my ex as he never asked for money or mentioned he needed any. If I went to pay for anything he used to stop me.
I am just finding it so hard to accept he has left me due to his Mother not accepting me. I have read many places this does happen. But does it really or is it an excuse?
People at home have said he has left me because he wanted a visa .I just feel if it was about a visa he would still be with me and would be keeping me happy so he can try and get this as he knows how I have fallen for him.
But maybe I am just blind to this.
I miss him all the time.
I really hope everything works out better for you and that all goes well and his family accepts you. Or if they don't that he puts you as his priority.
Keep getting to know him but keep your mind open as I know how the heart can take over.
-@Lulu1981

My friend is more younger and poor than me, so I have no problem to pay the bills when we were together. I have also heard it could be true that he left you because his mother did not accept you. But it could also be an excuse.

As to visa issue, if he really loves you and wants to get out of his country and spend the whole life long with you, why can‘t you solve the visa issue for him. As I can see that you really love him.

Than you for your advice sister🌹

I don‘t know how long have you been with him together. I have just know my friend for four months. So I will take my time and try to stay with him physically. Then I can know his real face. Sometimes I will think like that: life is short and full of risk. If his companionship makes me happy, why should I not give him and me a chance🤔

I wish you can find the reason whether he really left you for his mother. How many times have you broken up with each other? We have also tried to break up few times. But every time we come together again. If there is true love, you will experience breakup more than one time.

I wish all of us can find true love 💕

@javava88 there is nothing wrong with help pay for things as I did try sometimes when I was with my man but he always stopped me.

I am just cautious when it comes to people asking for money as I have been used for this by an ex in my past.

It is not that I will not help my Morocaan man with a visa. It is just at the moment I have issues in my home country I am sort from a previous relationship and also I know it takes time to get a visa as you have to prove your relationship etc. I did explain this to him a number of times which he understood.  But maybe as he is unhappy in his work in the country he moved to he has lost patience to wait.

We have been together for around 10 months and in that time we were write, speak, video call everyday and several times a day. I have been visit him in that time too and even agreed to go see him in the country he moved to.

Until now we had never broken up. We had some disagreements mainly due to misunderstanding each other but we talked it through and everything was ok.

So this is first time we have broken up. We were keep talk but it ended in argue each time to the point he has blocked me on WhatsApp. But he has kept me on all his other social media sites.

We have now not spoken for over 2 weeks and it hurts so much.

I was so sure he was the one and my true love as never felt like this for anyone before.

I guess he is the only one that knows real reason we finish but even to the end he was say I made him happy and it was real but now he can't be with me and that he needs same as his Mum wants for him.  Even to the point he has gone deep into his religion.

I don't think he will be back to me so somehow I am going to have accept he has gone.

I really wish you all the best in your relationship and that it all goes well as everyone deserves love and happiness.

@Lulu1981 I am not sure about the real reason why your friend wants to leave you. It could be because his mother or it could be because he probably has met another woman who can support him better than you. Of course it could also be that he sees no hope that you can make him out of his country.

But if you love him you should  try your best to win him back. I can feel you. But zero communication in two weeks is an absolute no go. As I told you if it is true love you both can not separate from each other so easily after only one breakup. If he really ghosts you for ever it only shows there is no true love from his side.

Thank you, sister, for your wish. I do hope we can have a future together. But I will keep my eyes open. Unfortunately there are some scammers.

Don‘t be disappointed. You will find your Mr. Right sooner or later. Don‘t give up💪

@javava88 yes it could be any reason you stated why he has left me. Only he knows this.

I am just surprised if it is for money or visa he has not kept me sweet in case his other options fail because he knows how much he means to me. If this is what it was all about.

However I feel he does love me even if he wants to leave his country too.

When he finished with me he said it is not easy as he still wants and loves me. So for a number of weeks we were keep talk about the situation but each time it ended in argue. He was ok until I started talk feelings and then he would keep ask me to please stop as it was hard and he can't be with me and his mood would get grumpy.

I didn't just give up on our love after the breakup I tried for weeks and he always answered me. A few times he even checked to see if I was ok after.

He  was also start talk about his religion alot and his responsibilities to his family. He says he has stopped all love.

His behaviour has changed to lots of things. Even on his social media he has been delete lots of friends which is out of character for him. He has not deleted me and if I post anything he is normally first to see it which surely is odd if he does not care.

I can't stop love him but I can't make him stay if he doesn't want. It breaks my heart everyday.

Thank you so much for your replies.

I hope your relationship works out and you are very happy.

@GuestPoster7420 I was madly deeply in love with one. Ended up marrying him. I'm Still with him, however stuck. I loved him with my whole heart, and he started to cheat on me with cheap nasty women behind my back when I was at work. 4 total in 6 months. After I caught him with the first,  I lost myself completely.  Completely.  Months later , 3 , we fast forward, things are slowly getting better, building trust, and he leaves my 2 year old alone in the middle of the night to go out drive an hour with a very nasty girl, fuck her outside random location, multiple times. As for thr rest , who knows how many there are. He is also very unapologetic, dismissive, controlling. Worst mistake I I ever made. I'm stuck because im in the Stockholm cycle... for now. Good luck. But I would say RUN.

@GuestPoster7420 I think you are blind as was I 🙁

@Capoppy55 I am currently with a Tamazigh man too.  He said religion does not matter, I don't need to convert.  But what has your experience been? He told me Tamazighs and arabic men have different expectations, and Tamazighs are more open. 

@Susudimana according to Islam the Muslim man can marry the women of the book. That would be Muslims, Christian, and Jewish. If they are true Muslims and follow quoran that's what it says. You are absolutely right about tamazigh and Arabs being different. Tamazigh usually are way more open minded and softer.

@Susudimana

currently, I am back in the US.  I came back during the pandemic because I needed some medical care I couldn’t get in Morocco.  Nevertheless, I would like to go back there at some point.  The biggest problems we have is misunderstandings because of the language barriers.  He speaks 7 languages, 4 fluently, of which one is English, but we still have a few problems with some things. His mother only speaks Tamazight, so I can’t talk to her at all.  I’m trying to learn enough French to get by there, but I have a lot to learn. I know a tiny bit of Tamazight and no Darija. Tiny bit of Spanish and some Japanese (not helpful there).  He is Muslim, yes, and I am not, but he and his brother call themselves “Muslim light”. They smoke, drink alcohol some. Probably have tasted pork. He does fast for Ramadan, as have I, but that’s about the extent of his religiosity. If it were more than that, I would probably not go back there. 

he wouldn’t mind coming here but would not be thrilled about it.  He is not seeking a green card.

oh, and I’m friends with his sisters, brother, and cousins, aunts an uncles, so I’m an accepted part of the family

@ChrissyB42

Wow....that's a terrible situation to be in! To leave your child alone and do something like that is as low as a person can get. Why would you want to stay with him? He jeopardized the safety of your young child and could possibly expose you to diseases!!!! You are worth more than that! Pack your bags and leave!!!! He obviously is not satisfied with you as he seeks out dirt elsewhere.  He is not the first nor will be the last man on earth. Don't you think you deserve better????  Please get yourself out of that situation 🙏 😔.

I would not tell him anything.  He would come home one day and find me GONE!

@RR@

No. Not really. I think is the other way around. 🤔