Official Recognition of child

Brexitforever wrote:

I wonder whether there is a time limit for the kid to request being officially recognised as mine?

No, you can go with the mother and file a revised birth certificate with the people's committee where the birth certificate was originally filed at a later date and sign a new birth certificate listing both of your names.  Ex-girlfriend will have to go along with it, though.  If she doesn't you will have to go through the court system to get listed if she isn't willing.

Brexitforever wrote:

I wonder whether there is a time limit for the kid to request being officially recognised as mine?

Brexitforever wrote:

The implication of me being officially the father would be significant when it comes to heritage.  In other words, I prefer not to be recognized in an official manner.

This is confusing.  First you talk about being officially recognized and next that you prefer to not be recognized.  Which way are you trying to go?  Or do you just want an option to show parentage in the future should the child choose to apply for citizenship in your home country?

Maybe I was not clear. To support the cost of education financially now is one thing, to be recognized as father is another . While I agree to the first I don't want to be legally bound later, implying a right to heritage and other implications.
Does the kid have a right to ask the father to recognize the parenthood ?

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   Does DNA recognise rights..?   
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What he is basically saying is, "Although I'm paying alimony voluntarily, I don't want to be legally bound to the kid. My name is not on the birth certificate, is there any way the kid or the mother could manage to officially get recognized as my kid in the future?"

Why would you want brexit forever?

My apartment has dropped in value at least 60,000 GBP if I could sell it at all right now.

My business is stuck in limbo as 1/3 of sales goes to Germany and France.

GBP to VND is down from 34000 to 29100

You child support payments are 15% higher for you. 🤣

Why people vote to be poorer is beyond me.

phikachu wrote:

Why would you want brexit forever?

My apartment has dropped in value at least 60,000 GBP if I could sell it at all right now.

My business is stuck in limbo as 1/3 of sales goes to Germany and France.

GBP to VND is down from 34000 to 29100

You child support payments are 15% higher for you. 🤣

Why people vote to be poorer is beyond me.

Totally off topic.

This thread is about his kid, not politics, start a new thread.

My apoligies, brexit is a sensitive subject for me for all the reasons mentioned. I’m poorer.

WillyBaldy wrote:

What he is basically saying is, "Although I'm paying alimony voluntarily, I don't want to be legally bound to the kid. My name is not on the birth certificate, is there any way the kid or the mother could manage to officially get recognized as my kid in the future?"

Oh, now I see.  That makes sense.  Well, the mother and child could probably sue and win a court case to get a DNA test and demand child support but not going to likely be enforceable if he doesn't come back to Vietnam.  Case would be stronger since he sends voluntary support which is essentially acknowledging that the kid is his but again, not likely anything can happen if he stays away.  I'm glad he's at least trying to do the right thing to some extent.  Life is hard enough in Vietnam and harder when she has a child and trying to take care of it when the guy leaves.  Hope he chooses to do more in the future.  It's his child.

My wife did it on her own after the guy she was with screwed around and she left when her daughter was one year old.  No support at all.  She's 12 now.  She did a great job doing it on her own with support from her family and I'm lucky to have both of them in my life now.  Now she has someone to lean on.

SteinNebraska wrote:

WillyBaldy wrote:

What he is basically saying is, "Although I'm paying alimony voluntarily, I don't want to be legally bound to the kid. My name is not on the birth certificate, is there any way the kid or the mother could manage to officially get recognized as my kid in the future?"

Oh, now I see.  That makes sense.  Well, the mother and child could probably sue and win a court case to get a DNA test and demand child support but not going to likely be enforceable if he doesn't come back to Vietnam.  Case would be stronger since he sends voluntary support which is essentially acknowledging that the kid is his but again, not likely anything can happen if he stays away.  I'm glad he's at least trying to do the right thing to some extent.  Life is hard enough in Vietnam and harder when she has a child and trying to take care of it when the guy leaves.  Hope he chooses to do more in the future.  It's his child.

My wife did it on her own after the guy she was with screwed around and she left when her daughter was one year old.  No support at all.  She's 12 now.  She did a great job doing it on her own with support from her family and I'm lucky to have both of them in my life now.  Now she has someone to lean on.

Your wife is 12, just kidding, just the way you worded it.

colinoscapee wrote:

Your wife is 12, just kidding, just the way you worded it.

Damn near 12 when compared to me.  She's 29.  I'm...older. LOL

Brexitforever wrote:

While I agree to the first I don't want to be legally bound later, implying a right to heritage and other implications.
Does the kid have a right to ask the father to recognize the parenthood ?

I don't know what you mean by "other implications" but the most valuable thing you are denying him as of now is French citizenship.  Perhaps what you seek is French citizenship for him without personal financial obligation to yourself.

correct!
in other countries there is an age limit up to which a mother can ask the bio father to recognize the kid officially, no idea how this is in Vietnam?

Are you trying to find out when is the latest that you can assert his French citizenship?  Perhaps you should be posting on the Francophone version of the Vietnam forum.  Another place to ask might be the French Embassy or Consulate wherever you are. 

I am assuming that France has jus sanguinis or citizenship by blood.  With the US for those born abroad, it can theoretically be asserted at any age by the US parent but it is much more difficult after the child is 18 (according to the US Dept of State website.)

For leavers freedom has no price,
For remainers freedom has no value.

nick4946 wrote:

For leavers freedom has no price,
For remainers freedom has no value.

These leavers and remainers labels are a load bull poo. You’ve simply got people with nothing to lose misled by a bunch of people with a lot to gain. Then you get people with everything to lose, like their house, purchasing power, jobs, business... and their FREEDOM of movement.

Thanks a lot for all your comments. I understand that the legal framework for a kid to request official recognition is not clear in Vietnam, is that correct? I just wonder whether one day i will be surprised by a request from the kid to accept him officially ?

Brexitforever wrote:

Thanks a lot for all your comments. I understand that the legal framework for a kid to request official recognition is not clear in Vietnam, is that correct? I just wonder whether one day i will be surprised by a request from the kid to accept him officially ?

Well, I've avoided this comment since the start of this thread but I can't stay quiet any longer.  Since you already created him don't you think you should stand up and take responsibility for your actions?  You have already greatly burdened the mother and given the child a worse than average existence while you run away back to your cozy wife and family.  Does your wife know that you have another son out there?  This thread really kind of disgusts me.  All you are worried about is self-preservation and not considering what your five minutes of fun a year ago has done to two other people in this world.

Well said!

SteinNebraska wrote:

Brexitforever wrote:

Thanks a lot for all your comments. I understand that the legal framework for a kid to request official recognition is not clear in Vietnam, is that correct? I just wonder whether one day i will be surprised by a request from the kid to accept him officially ?

Well, I've avoided this comment since the start of this thread but I can't stay quiet any longer.  Since you already created him don't you think you should stand up and take responsibility for your actions?  You have already greatly burdened the mother and given the child a worse than average existence while you run away back to your cozy wife and family.  Does your wife know that you have another son out there?  This thread really kind of disgusts me.  All you are worried about is self-preservation and not considering what your five minutes of fun a year ago has done to two other people in this world.

At least he is offering financial support, unlike most VN guys who run away from it all. As far as support, hopefully she gets it from family and friends.

I do agree that the OP should have taken more responsibility for his action, but he is still streets ahead of the average VN male who generally run home to be protected by their mummies and away from the bad lady who got pregnant.

I worked at a single mothers centre in Saigon and the stories these girls told were always the same.

colinoscapee wrote:

At least he is offering financial support, unlike most VN guys who run away from it all. As far as support, hopefully she gets it from family and friends.

I do agree that the OP should have taken more responsibility for his action, but he is still streets ahead of the average VN male who generally run home to be protected by their mummies and away from the bad lady who got pregnant.

I worked at a single mothers centre in Saigon and the stories these girls told were always the same.

I know he said he was sending some money "for the cost of education" (we have no idea how much that is) but I guess I'm jaded because I know what my wife went through working two full time jobs for the last 12 years except for the four years of college where she only worked one fulltime job while going to college fulltime to care for her daughter after one of the VN guys you refer to above had his fun.  I also suspect the OP's wife has no idea and he fears the repercussions at home if the boy confronts him and his wife finds out.  That battle may be much greater than the current cost of support.

SteinNebraska wrote:

colinoscapee wrote:

At least he is offering financial support, unlike most VN guys who run away from it all. As far as support, hopefully she gets it from family and friends.

I do agree that the OP should have taken more responsibility for his action, but he is still streets ahead of the average VN male who generally run home to be protected by their mummies and away from the bad lady who got pregnant.

I worked at a single mothers centre in Saigon and the stories these girls told were always the same.

I know he said he was sending some money "for the cost of education" (we have no idea how much that is) but I guess I'm jaded because I know what my wife went through working two full time jobs for the last 12 years except for the four years of college where she only worked one fulltime job while going to college fulltime to care for her daughter after one of the VN guys you refer to above had his fun.  I also suspect the OP's wife has no idea and he fears the repercussions at home if the boy confronts him and his wife finds out.  That battle may be much greater than the current cost of support.

Well comparing one to the other without the full details is not possible.

I do know from my 12 years here that most western guys take care of their offspring better than most VN guys.

Lets hope that the mother and child are well cared for. I paid maintenance for my daughter lasting 20 years, even though her mother and new husband earned three times my income.

SteinNebraska wrote:

Since you already created him don't you think you should stand up and take responsibility for your actions?  You have already greatly burdened the mother and given the child a worse than average existence while you run away back to your cozy wife and family.  Does your wife know that you have another son out there?  This thread really kind of disgusts me.  All you are worried about is self-preservation and not considering what your five minutes of fun a year ago has done to two other people in this world.

Bravo.

SteinNebraska wrote:

I know he said he was sending some money "for the cost of education" (we have no idea how much that is)

Unless the child attends international school, the cost of education for students of primary schools in VN is less than 1M/month including half board. 

If the OP's child support is only enough to pay for his child's education (emotionally bonded and legally recognized or not, the child is still his), that's chump change for most expats and tourists, therefore, I wouldn't laud his effort at all.