Loneliness when you're abroad

For me, male or female friends are the same. No matter what they are, as long as we have them and understand each other, life will be better...

yeap..

i felt the same way too when i was in the uae for almost 4 years..i took me nealry 1 n a half year to get used to the culture..and not missing my homecountry..

but now im back in my homecountry and im missing my life there as an expatriates..overall it was a good experience for me..to have been meeting so many people from different background and culture..

huhuh..im thinking of going there again...funny huh..

MY MESSAGE WE ARE ALLWAYS HAPPY AND HARDWRKING

CHANDRAN BHASKARAN wrote:

MY MESSAGE WE ARE ALLWAYS HAPPY AND HARDWRKING

Can you please avoid using caps lock when posting on the forum?

Thanks and regards
Armand

hii friends.......im new to expat forum...lets chat and know each other and be gud freinds...

Loneliness is a creative feeling, when it motivates us to make friendships, when it spurs us to write something just to describe what loneliness is.

Thanks for your contribution Ossama Nour.

Harmonie.

honestly, It very hard to deal with loneliness issue, since  you are in a foreign country, you feel like there is an empty place in your heart that only your home country can feel. but everything is just a matter of time, we eventually get along with people, then blow away that homesick feeling

Everyone feels a bit lonely - just cheer up & look for other expats or friendly locals!

When one is feeling lonely, I think it's time to look at the associations! You search for an association related to something that you like and you see how to become a member or to participate in their activities. There are too many of them in big cities but also in small cities. That's the place where you can meet people, help people, being helped, share your passion, etc. That's what I did when I was one semester in the USA and felt a bit lonely. I also assisted to some conferences and it was a really good idea since I had a lot of interesting discussions with interesting people.

Now, I've been here in Oman for almost 6yrs.

I beat the loneliness. If you guys want to check my blog. Please try to do so. Thank you.

ofwbisdak.com

Are you an expat out of choice? if so, why did you become one?

Whenever I go to a new country and start feeling lonely, I get proactive.  I start a new group, to attract like-minded people.  It usually starts online.  Then, we meet in person.  I suggest you try it.  However, I'd be interested in your response from the administrators of expat-blogs.com, because they kept moving my posts to a "private forum", to which nobody has access.  I don't even have access to my own posts.  I've had to use other avenues, such as Facebook, hi5, and so on.

I've been in charge of such a group in Korea, and now in Mongolia, which is dedicated to making new friends and language exchanges.  Again, unfortunately, my posts keep getting move to some alleged, mysterious "private forum", or so I'm told.

Good luck everybody.

Hello LeonSunWuKong!

In response for this

LeonSunWuKong wrote:

However, I'd be interested in your response from the administrators of expat-blogs.com, because they kept moving my posts to a "private forum", to which nobody has access.  I don't even have access to my own posts.  I've had to use other avenues, such as Facebook, hi5, and so on.
Again, unfortunately, my posts keep getting move to some alleged, mysterious "private forum", or so I'm told.

A member of the Expat.com Team will contact you soon in private.

Harmonie.

@WanderLust23

I've heard the same type of commments from coworkers of mine. I think it's just them being aware of the realities of racial discrimination amongst non whites in Asian countries. For example, you've probably heard the stories of whites getting modeling gigs and jobs based upon solely being white. 

Ironically, from the stories I've heard from my peers they're more likely to get mugged or stopped by the police than someone of color. Because for some reason they stand out more than us. 

My experiences in Asia are pretty much the same as yours. The locals always want to be your friend and treat you like a celebrity everywhere you go. Even having complete strangers wanting to take pictures with you. It's so cool.

The locals really appreciate the difference in skin color and see it as exotic. It's a nice alternative to what they're mainly accustomed to seeing and the images their media bombards them with.

[Moderated: No free ad on the forum]

HI guys.
Unfortunately I am not an expatiate but I do feel loneliness all the time. It is not the case of you, it is the matter of time how is treating with you. But if you feel loneliness you are alone and if think you are yourself as a group and you have hidden many abilities within you, then you will feel never ever a loneliness.

Hi Julien, I can relate to this "loneliness when abroad"..With me, it's not so much that I miss my family & friends in Australia, but the security I felt there knowing they were around.  For instance, not having to go 3/4 of the way to find friends, and establish oneself in the community.  The network of people are already around you in your own country. Often, just to have a person you can feel confident to chat away, & they'll understand how you think/feel - Bad days & good. I usually study the local language, try to do social things like caffe's, festas, and local markets - also good for practicing language. Watch how the locals mix, and what time of day, & where.  Here, it's the local town piazza in the eveings with their dogs/families.  Jogging/powerwalking early am on beachfront, get to know the regulars.

Julien wrote:

Do you often feel lonely when you're abroad?

I personaly suffered on week ends while I was in the UK. Even if I had several friends, I often missed my family and friends (from home). So I walked, visited museum, went to concerts, worked more... What about you?

What are you doing when you feel lonely?

mmmm hard to find at times, mm agree to "first world countries concept they tend to make frnds easier where ever"

Neither they change nor we change

I am yet to visit or work in my dream country but these comments make me quite scared of life abroad. Here in Kenya,we have tried organizing dinners or coffees and other get-together activities for the expats in Nairobi to help them feel more at home and make new friends. Are there group activities in countries out there?

I think the secret is WANTING to actually get involved and have friends. You have to want to have fun and mix in where ever you go. Otherwise yes I think you can feel lonely...but it depends on who you are. If you can share your feelings with new friends it might make you feel more at home, loved and accepted!

For the people who ever feel lonely, avoid to listen the sad music, and listen music that make you feel with more energy and more optimistic.

It feels lonely (to me) not being able to work in the current country. I was happier and fulfilled having a job, even though the payment was small. Going back to stay home mum is hard...and lonely...

Beijing is full of lovely people, but the language barrier is getting to me, and people are... shy? I guess. Im the only westerner I've seen in my area, and I really feel it. If I didn't have skype with my boyfriend and a couple of friends in UK, I'd feel a lot worse. I want some "local foreigners" so I dont feel like a sore thumb!

Home can be anywhere as far as you think positive and you end up in a friendly environment. nfact, I felt more at home in Dublin than in Genoa (Italy) due to the fact that people here are really close minded and not too talkative.
On the other end, I left Ireland and moved back to Italy because at some stage, the climate started to drive me mad...

I live amongs a lot of expats ..and I am still lonely sometimes.That or I feel overwhelmed by people and need to get away.

hello every body


i m afraid to move also and feel lonely (((

I'm here in Dubai from just one month
I still don't have friends here which i'm not used to
I'm trying to discover the place now but feel so lonely

All places are full of strangers and same all places are full of friends. it is loneliness inside of man not in the environment. i have seen even lively expats who even dont know the language makes so many friends and some are alone in their own place.
well, you cannot be lonely aborad if you want......

Sarsparilla wrote:

tambok wrote:

Anglos rarely feel lonely when they in Latin countries especially if they know the language. That is why you rarely see a complain from a Brit about being lonely in, say, Brazil.

That's just not true: every country has its gregarious cultures and also it's stuffy cultures.  I live in the sierra in Peru and it's pretty hard to make friends if you're not into the bricheros and the bar scene.

There's a whole 'you people all look the same' thing going on that inhibits friendships quite intensely.

I agree with you Sarsparilla. It's been some months since I've moved to Brazil and it seems that people are very good and friendly here, but when it comes to going out and doing things nothing is happening. Also, I am surprised people here are not interested in knowing where I come from, how things are in my country, about my family etc... and from my previous expat experiences, that's a good starting point for a good conversation and ultimately a good friendship.

Loneliness was my constant friend when I got here- of course I didn't know anyone apart from my husband. After going to language classes and being around other foreigners, I began forming some contacts and they have stayed until this very day. The loneliness, as it was in those days, have gone. I am just too busy with kids, school and family life. But I do get lonely for my sisters and my other family members who live in other parts of the world.

Bonjour à tous et à toutes,je suis  natif de Ouagadougou!!!et
je suis là pour ceux ou celles qui croient toujours en l'amitié sincère et véritable!!!alors n'hésister pas à me contacter chers(es) amis(es)
au plaisir!!
                       Sayb

Yeah.  Loneliness is part of the experience of travel abroad.  I got passionate about my guitar playing because it was the most dynamic way to communicate with foreign speakers.  Also, gestures and body language learned from improv.

I had to get my solitude act together - writing and music and accepting the isolation.  Eventually I found a small circle of people and a few good bars and that made life very easy, but it took time.

There are times when we all feel lonely. Usually this follows the break up of a relationship, a divorce, bereavement etc.

Grieving is a natural process and time is a great healer. Life goes on. 

However I actually enjoy time alone, having grown up with a noisy family of six, it was a relief to eventually have my own home. You can be lonely with people if you share nothing in common with them.

The best way to meet people who share your interests is to join a group which has common interests, be is sailing, dancing, literature, hiking, dining out. You will always find such groups or classes in most communities.

Ultimately it's about liking your own company, the ability to enjoy solitude. Because until you like yourself how can anyone else love you unconditionally, and that is what we have to strive for, unconditional love and being happy with who we are.

Agree with karnak!!!!

Such a fascinating and relevant topic. It does seem to be a real issue with many expats.

Kind of funny and sad a planet billions of people and yet a large percent of people are lonely.

I do not consider myself lonely now. Although I have no girlfriend or wife at this time.

At times in the past I have been in relationships in my home country and I felt lonely inside.

Living Abroad changes the game. You are in a new and different environment, with different cultures and perhaps different languages.

My point is though...it takes a conscious choice to be happy where you are and yes to get to know new people you are going to have to take responsibility for reaching out to others.

I realize this is a big step for most people. That is why you have to do it. Everyone is scared of reaching out to others.

Yes, you will sometimes make mistakes or get hurt. But what you get in the end is more priceless than gold.

Very interesting topic indeed. I agree with Karnak. Loneliness can reach you everywhere wether you are in your home Country or abroad, in a big city or in a small village. It's not about being sorrounded by tons of people, it's about being happy with oneself and therefore being able to be positive with the others.

I feel lonely here sometimes, and I'd die if the internet went down. I'm a social sort who likes to go our a lot. Germany's just not built for that kind of lifestyle the way Australia is. And I don't know any Germans, at least not any within easy travelling distance. So its hard. I console myself with books and working when I can, but I miss the easy contact of Australians. I miss the friendliness and the spontaneity. And I really miss my family and my sister back home. She's just had a baby this year so its hard being away from all the important firsts of my niece.

Hey Julien after a total of 38 years marriage my second wife passed away a little over 2 years ago and i do experience some lonley times there are times that i like being alone and there are times that it really hurts one thing i do is what i am doing now read blogs like walking for excercise so i take two 3 mile walks per day just started doing as many push ups as i can which is 20 at this time and 10 sit ups i go shopping at times go have coffee someplace sometimes cook at home and sometimes go out to eat and there are things to do on my place here house keeping and yard work etc.wheni went to Belize last winter i done about the same as i do here. i met people on the Belize forum before i went andi Rented a Room in a Ladies home there she had a lot of children and grand children some one was always there and they all made me feel like Family and it was a very nice experience.
While i was there i used the internet to stay in touch with friends and family back in the states and that is the way i dealt with the lonelyness over the past two years.

                                    David 1946