Did I marry a Chapia?

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Is she a Chapi?  Why does it matter. It's over. Divorce. Lick your wounds and move on.  The answer isn't going to change anything.

Her behavior is unlikely unless you did something to provoke it.  Look inside.  What did you do?

If you were with her 10 years and wondering now it falls on you to realize. Marriages go astray for many reasons and time to move on with your life...

The referral is Much appreciated

I guess the second answer is: I love the DR, I still love my wife, I still love her family and the town, and I after all that had happened I feel like I'm going to lose pretty much all that. I guess if I missed signs, having others share their similar stories may help me.

Communication is one. I kept thinking I explained enough about this hard move. But I was working 6-7 days a week. had my family making sure she was cared for while we got through this. It was really only 4 weeks of me working. I just feel like she didn't give that enough time or communicate well either. Then to return home to all that, something seemed very off along with daily rumors.

Run don't walk away from that girl. Run very fast. There are babes everywhere looking for husbands.

Easy to say run away but love can be tricky and emotional for many.

It's not right to discount anyone's feelings.  That said dissecting everything usually gets you stuck.  See what went wrong and learn and move on.

Thanks for the replys truly. It has been tricky and dissection has left me stuck all the way up until I contacted the lawyer. The other factor is the house. Having abandoned the house, emptying it, and it not being in my name...I'm hoping this helps me if she tries to get it. I guess the Chapia designation weighs there on my mind as well. I feel like those types would try to be ruthless

It's difficult for 2 people who have different values, cultures and languages to make it anywhere, not just here. Neither totally understands the needs of the other and, in a fast moving world, the easy way out is to call it quits.  It really takes a lot of patience and perseverance to make it work, most people don't realize what they are getting into.
Best wishes

I will make it simple for you. Latin Love and Latin affection are two different things. This is what gets most foreigners in trouble. They fall in love with the affection, since that treatment has all but dissapeared in Western society. In patriarchal societies, the man is catered to and treated with a certain level of respect and admiration. I have seen many men travel to foreign lands and fall in love very quickly thinking she must really love me if she is treating me this way, only later to realize it is simply the norm.

I dont think she is a chapiadora, but at this point, it does not matter. Women change their minds all the time and many folks have the illusion of living in the states, only to find out they miss their homeland albeit all the craziness that happens there. There is no place like home.

My suggestion to you is next time don't be so quick to let her steer you into a situation which you knew was not going to be in your best interest. They complain all the time about their men being machistas, but to some degree it is embedded in the culture, so you cant stray too far from what she is accustomed, otherwise you will be replaced. Best of luck with the final outcome.

Love conquers all.  That said I think it would be the rare Dominican that could move to suburban ''any town'' USA/Canada and be happy.   It's a huge culture shock.

There are some great words there. I knew how badly women can be treated there by the machistas. Even beatings and throwing both women and the kids out. I treated her like a queen. Cultural difference indeed. And I do believe the culture shock played it's role. I didn't expect her to be crying for three days before even getting there when it was her decision.

I share my words from personal experience. In my case she was Venezuelan. She wanted to come to the states soooo badly, and once she arrived all she did was complain and compare the 2 countries nonstop. Women are emotional individuals, and they feel one thing at 8am and something else at 8pm. Next time use your logic and don't give in to her emotional whims. If you knew something was not good for your child and he/she kicked and screamed for it, would you still give in against your better judgement  Hard lesson to learn, but as humans that is how we learn, trial and error. As for the machista thing, I'm not suggesting you be a brute of any sorts, simply stand your ground and make decisions in the best interest for both. Cheers.

I in no way thought you suggested that about machistas, but it was a good cultural word to ring a bell. We never really fought about anything until this.

"Latin Love and Latin affection are two different things."

Very valid point.

The definition of love is different. It's often about necessity, convenience, not being alone and more.

Does not sound like a typical chapiadora MO.

I would be wary of equating Dominicans with Latin.  Dominicans are their own category.  Other Latin cultures are NOT the same.  NO.

SonOfaSailor,  the short answer is, yes, you got chapeado.   You walked right into it,  let her wear the pants in the family, and made the mistake of a registered marriage, rather than a 'local' one.  The only thing to your benefit is that you didn't make the mistake of buying a property she can get.  Best advice....just walk away from it all.

Bro she didn't want to be with you and ended the relationship.  Rather than take you for a lot of money she just took the furniture and that's it she let you off easy what are you talking about champi????? Please man.

She is letting you off the hook man finalize the divorce she could of come at you for half your money but she isn't she just took some dumb furniture.  How can you even think she is a champi???? No wonder she left you

Lol a champi would tear your ass up in the divorce lol

As an old man (  ;-)  ) I dare to comment, that the greatest art of life is to let go.
The less you possess, the more freedom you enjoy. And in our life we only have a real chance to choose what we want or not, as far as we are free in our decisions.

One of the most important things I had to learn in my life. Often costed money and nerves. ;-)

And if you are able to change perspective, if there were not anything good, you received in those  10 years, it would have been your turn to quit. You did not, so you may try to focus on what you got and not on what you loose?
You never 'possess' anybody. And not at all for eternity.

Understand your feelings.

Best
Tom

I think the OP has got his answers.  If not he can respond here.

This same things happens in the US and everywhere.  After blending in all of the post I've read here and my own experiences, these same things happen in the US and everywhere.  I think that westerners come here as if it where an old episode of Fantasy Island, without the fantasy.  You're just in a different place with the same opportunist, but they're in disguise.

Yes, but the Question was "Did I Marry a Chmpia?"  so everybody needs to answer this!  ME ......I say HELL NO!  I am still trying to wrap my head around how you could even ask this question or think this question?????  Because of what?????  The whole story is you saying how she never took money from you?  So after ten years she only takes some furniture you both owned and didn't come after you for anything else??????  I mean how is that a champia??????  What thought process in your head even made you think she could be a champai?  What specifically????

and what is with:  "(still to this day owned by them, and I still pay monthly so hopefully not communal property)" why hopefully not communal property?  You were married when you had that house bro you had a life together so she is entitled to half of that house.  A real man thinks that way.  They don't try to steal from the person they love because they don't feel the same.  Whats right is right man.  Doesnt matter if you paid for the rent each month I am sure she cleaned and this and that so she earned her place.  Who the hell are you to try and take this away just because you happen to control the money?  Its the same thing!  Maybe if you look at how you think you will realize why she left.  Not trying to insult but I think you need to change the way you look at life.

It kind of makes me sick that if you got that house and were able to purchase it you would keep it from her she spent the same amount of time in the relationship and at least you would both walk away with something if you gave her half but to steal it all and leave her with nothing is sad and pathetic.

Think this drama has run it's life. IMHO