Moroccan romance scam or love story?

@javava88 sweetie listen, this would be my advice to any woman anywhere.

A man telling you he loves you within days or weeks is a massive red flag.

Him being older can be a red flag too or not.

I live in morocco for over 9 years and im not moroccan. I was married to an english/ moroccan man.

Im currently stuck here due to the lack of responsibility from this individual. We have 5 kids together etc etc. Anyway, I know too well and from experience how these " love stories" go. I hear moroccan men talking at the shops, when they see foreign women etc but also from chats with other moroccan women.

I would say run, not just because he's moroccan but because the red flag of so called being in love after days.

Money isn't always the issue of who pays. But sweetie, trust me, 34 and not married in morocco is another red flag for a man. Why hasn't he yet married ? That isn't normal here. If he was a decent man by local standards women would be shoving their daughters off onto him.

Let's assume he hasn't found a woman he likes ...

Thats not how it really works here.

There are plenty of lovely moroccan women. He either isn't eligible for some reason or he is looking for his ticket out.

Or he could already be married with kids and thats why he doesnt want more.

Really we can all sit here and speculate and then be called derogatory for saying " bad things about this guy we don't know because he's moroccan" or we can say, look how you have asked strangers for advice about someone they dont know because something inside of you is screaming something isn't right.

Always trust that gut instinct it speaks reason through all those squishy love feelings.

@javava88 It is challenging. I am 35 and married to my 34 Moroccan husband. We met almost 3 years ago in Tangier. Things were good...he was definitely interested in making me his wife, but we waited a while to say I love you. I think 5 months until I visited again. We do plan for children. He has never asked for money but during our visits I pay most but he also pays as much as he can. I make a lot more than him because Canadian dollar is higher, but he has a good job as a police officer. I did help to deposit to rent a nicer apartment for when I visit so often, but he pays the monthly rent. I only did that after ovee a year of dating. I was worried for the scam for a long time because of sites like this and bad stories and took a while to trust. My advice is to do the same. Take your time before you go all in and marriage. Don't give money. Nothing needs to be a rush. I  think there are bad men in every country. Before I married my husband, I dated a man from a Canada who scammed me for money and had another fiance in a different city. I think it can happen and you just have to take time. I think humans can only fake something for so long and after 6 months, you will start to see red flags so its important to remain objective and not let your heart override the warnings otherwise it will be impossible to leave and get stuck.

Now I am sponsoring my husband now to come to Canada. Moroccans are romantic and sweet with their words. When my man fell for me, he became dedicated. It's in their culture to not date so that is why I think they get serious fast.

I do believe in love. I think part of it is they want to leave their country, but I do believe they fall for their women most of the time, even if the woman is older and doesn't want to have children. Sometimes relationships are about exchanges and that's just reality, even if it's not romantic. But if he is a good man and respectful and you have fun and enjoy life and he is dedicated to you, then who cares if a part of the reason is for him to leave Morocco. Enjoy it! But be smart!

@javava88 you can't. You just have to trust your judgment. Young men have relationships with older ladies all the times even in Morocco and hound ladies have relationships with older men. No one can tell how serious is your relationships or not. Use common sense and look for red flags. Good luck

@aishahm Thank you so much, dear Aishahm for your quick response. I have to accept I am a lonely divorced woman and looking for love. When I met this guy and read the lovely words he wrote to me, I can not resist his love. We are texting on whatsapp day and night. He sends me morning and night greetings. Sometimes we have videochats. I guess, if he has a wife, he has not so much time for me.

It seems he does not earn a lot of money. His mother is seriously sick, his father has two wifes and he has ten siblings. He told me on the ship that he is single becasue he is looking for true love. So I would like to choose to believe him that he is single.

I have to say that I know nothing about Morocco or Moroccan guys before. But I am touched by his sweet words / love declaration. I am very open-minded. I don't care about what religion he has.

How I hope I find my true love instead of a romance scammer......

@Amanda224 Dear Amanda, thank you very much for sharing your love story with me. I have seen some positive signs through your describing about moroccan guys. I am so sceptical about his love maybe because I have never met a guy in my whole life who declared his love to me so quickly and dedicated to me so intensively. But as you I do believe in love as well.

We will spend a week together in December. I guess I can know him better in this week. I will update my story with all of you then.

@Said Idouarab Thank you Said. Yes, you are right. Love knows no ages. I will use common sense to make my judgement. Best regards.

@javava88

All I can say is I hope you find genuine people in your life.

When we have good friends and love and care from family etc we don't search for that fulfillment elsewhere.

I understand how damaging a divorce can be, the world is huge, there will always be someone willing to sell you love and say beautiful words. But will he be the man you need and want? Will he be your comfort and best friend or will he be the void your filling.

Im just trying to get you to make your own assessment hun, life is hard enough, no one has time for scams. I think starting a relationship with questions about its sincerity makes for alot of stress and maybe isn't a good idea.

Maybe he is single, maybe he is sincere, maybe he is an amazing person. I dont know.

But cultural and religious differences can have a huge impact too and its not something to ignore.

im muslim by the way, my whole family are Christian and atheist.

If you have any questions you can message me.

im not trying to turn you against this man or to convince you of anything.

I hope for your sake you find the truth ASAP.

I

@aishahm Dear Aishahm, thank you very much for your suggestion.

The reason I am searching for advices here is because non friends or family members of me know anything about Morocco or Moroccan guys. I do want to get some advices from other people who have the same experiences as me.

I still believe in love even after a failed relationship. Meanwhile I am afraid of being scammed because of my loneliness and fragility. The time with the Moroccan guy was great. I fell for him. I wish a long term relationship with a sincere guy no matter where he comes, what he believes, how old is he and how much he earns.

I will keep you informed about our meeting in December and wish you the best.

@aishahm @javava88

I agree with @Aishahm, it is never healthy to fill a void. I rather be single than with the wrong man. With that being said, I do appreciate and enjoy the love and happiness that my marriage/love brings me. I think it is normal for humans to desire that and feel a loss when they don't have romantic love.

I think the rushing to say "I love you", would catch me off guard. But I do think he is trying to claim you as his woman. I was caught off guard when my husband was calling me his wife very early on. Again, I am learning that they do not have 'girlfriends' there. I would be cautious for a few months, ask some questions, see if there are any inconsistencies. I agree that it is not fun to start a relationship with speculation and mistrust, I don't think the beauty of love can grow with those negative lens on the man and relationship. However, after being scammed and cheated on in the past (with men from CANADA, my own country), it is how I approach most situations now, because I don't want to waste time and get hurt.

For the first 7 months of my relationship with my Moroccan man, I was very very mistrustful. I enjoyed moments and had fun, but I kept it light and DID NOT GIVE MY HEART AWAY. After about 7 months of building consistency, his life always matching what he said. Always fulfilling his words and calling when he said he would call etc. I met his friends and his boss and there was nothing that didn't match his words! His actions and words matched. After all this, I made a choice that if this relationship was going to be anything beautiful, I needed to let my wall down and trust him. It's also not fun living in a state of questioning and mistrust all the time. Its definitely stressful!

After I started to trust, everything has worked out for us. Our culture and religion are different, but that's what I love about him. The respect for women and strong family values come from his Moroccan culture and being Muslim. He loves food and fashion and all these things we enjoy together! Men in Canada here do not have those strong values and are more interested in sex and hooking up, rather than commitment and building a future. The only time they want to share with me is if there is an outcome for sex. 

I also made peace with the fact that my husband may have been interested in me as a foreigner from North America because he wanted a better life outside his country. However, I was definitely drawn to him because of how sexy he was and how he looked in a uniform, so am I any better at the start? There are things I can offer him that no Moroccan woman can, and he can offer me that no Canadian man can. We all have our 'assets' that make us desirable as partners. Some are external and superficial and some are because of our soul and essence. However, as time goes on, the bond grows, he is now my partner for life. He has been here for me during some already difficult times. I struggle with mental health because of past abuse, and he is always there for me to support. I value him so much more than just because he is a 6'3 sexy strong Moroccan man (but still love that! lol). 

There is always a risk that your new man isn't sincere, but again, it takes time for him to prove that. So remain objective and see where it goes. I don't think he will continue to waste his own time for years as a scammer if he is not getting anything out of the scam. Unless he is playing a really long long game.....but again there is always a risk. Humans never cease to surprise me with what they are capable of.  He will pressure you to move fast, give some lip service, but do not go all in with him too fast.

Sorry for all the long messages, just I feel for you because I battled with this for a long time earlier on in my relationship as well.

@javava88 see above message too

Have fun in December <3

If you want I can have my husband reach out to him and see what his deal is lol

@Amanda224 Dear Amanda, I can't agree with you more in many aspects. I appreciate that you share your experiences here with me even though we don't know each other at all. Your words assure me to some extent.

No, I am not looking for someone to fill the void. If I feel lonely and just want to have some fun, I don't need to search it in Morocco. There are numerous choices in Germany. It is the love and passion that the Moroccan guy showed me has touched me a lot.

It seems my Moroccan guy is no the first one who declares his love at the very early stage. I do doubt on his declaration and at the same time I enjoy the feeling of being loved. I have learned from you now that Moroccan guys don't have “girlfriends”. Maybe that is the reason that the Moroccan guy said from the very beginning that he wants to stay with me forever. It is not very normal for me because in Germany I am used to know somebody for a long time before I discuss the common future with him.

Just like you I want to be cautious for some months. I am sure if he is a scammer, he has no patience to play the game with me for so long. I was also a heartbroken woman like you. I don't want to waste my money and time on a scammer as well. But I want to give love a chance if it is true love.

Till this moment I can not trust this Moroccan guy 100%. I have never said “I love you” to him till now. I only have said I miss you. I totally agree with you. We should not give our heart away easily in order to avoid being hurt again. I have only known this guy for three days. I will stay with him in December for a week. I hope that I can know him a little bit more and know his purpose. I will keep you informed of my time with him.

I am so glad that you have met your true love. How I hope my story has the same happy ending as yours. Yes you are right. Everyone of us has our “assets”. If my financial independence is an attraction for my Moroccan guy, I have no problem with it. Just like you I also feel attracted by his physical strength and I enjoy it.

Yes there is always a risk. But maybe no risk no fun. But thank you for your suggestion. I will take my time. Time will prove everything. Thank you, dear Amanda. You have helped me a lot to make my decision. Thank you for your offer. I choose to trust and respect my moroccan guy. But if I do need your help, I will come back to you. Let us keep in touch and enjoy the short life! Ps: My English is not perfect. I hope you understand what I mean.

@Said Idouarab most of moroccan ladies I saw come across as a grumpy and moody. I heared they are after money mostly.

Even moroccan ladies said it. My ex is Algerian and he said that women in his country dont have skills, just make babies, cook food, clean house. but no dreams, no ambitions. Many of them like our independency.

@javava88 if a person tells you that they want to marry you that quick, it is never true. Sorry i know more than a couple terrible stories in Morocco about this scam and they never ask for money or anything at thr beginning... They're not stupid.... My advice... Run away!

@javava88 sorry but this is a scam. I was married for 8 years to a Moroccan. They will deny their intentions that they want money, etc. Avoid future heart break and leave home now.

@javava88 scammers have patience to play and pretend they are in love for years. They will act genuine and shower you with affection. It is a very common tactic. Moroccans are smart, they know better then to ask for money, job, etc they will make you feel they love you and want to marry you quickly because of their “religion.”

@javava88

Oh dear!   

@javava88 keep talking and video calls. Don't rush into anything. My husband and I married one year after our first conversation on Facebook and after the second visit to Morocco. We have been married almost 10 years now. It took 2 years after our marriage to get him to the US. Love stories do exist,  just be cautiously aware. Best of luck!

@aishahm

I agree!!!

@Popolushka

What a ridiculous generalisation!

So all the professional Moroccan women that I've met; lawyers, bankers, doctors and non professionals are waiting around to be 'looked after'!

@KKJjJ Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sorry to hear your story. what happened to your relationship? Why did you notice it was a romance scam after an eight-year long marriage.  I have never thought a romance scam can last years! I will not rush into marriage or anything else. I have met this guy last week for the third time. We have spent a week together. I have a mixed feeling. I will take my time to know each other. I have told him that I will not marry so quickly. He agrees and respects my decision. I do wish I could find my true love instead of a romance

scam

@RAEzWORLD congratulations! I do believe in love and want to give love a chance if it is real love.

@javava88 it is not men but also women here also, they all want to live in the West and would put on the greatest act better than the movies to lure you into their trap. I won't tell you to be careful, you are grown enough to know.

On the other hand you can find the most loving people here. I know , I am an American married to a Moroccan woman.

All the best

@elopemoh Thank you for warning me! I think I can already draw my conclusion after reading all the posts here. I do also believe time will show me the true face of a scammer. I will keep all of you updated about my story. As is well known, hope dies last. I still want to give love a chance if there is any

Run. Run. Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

Clear as crystal that you've fallen in a trap.

Unfortunately, it is too late. He made you fall in love. He's professional. He practised the laws from the street on you. First he studied your weaknesses and since you are a divorcee and hungry for love, that's exactly what he played on. And you hear soft words of love....and it pleases you.

A tip: imagine this is a Canadian man,  behaving the same way back home. You would die from laughter by all this theatre!

Another tip: imagine you meet a foreign tourist in Canada in your hometown. Would you behave with him this way?

I live here 18 years. Been around. Seen this, done that.

Seen countless women going back home after years in this kind of situatlon. Financially broken, isolated, heartbroken, in need of psychiatric help.....

You will ignore the negative posts but in a few years you will read them again and realise that you fell in a big scam.

@javava88 oh Dear. There is a good chance that if he is 34 that he may have a wife already or divorced. Some Moroccan men are marrying later but he says he does not want children which is a red flag🤨 My advice is get to know more about Moroccans, there religion (Islam)  and whats the most important to them. Family is most important and they will always support there mother and father financially if needed. Him not asking for money yet is not unusual, as for it can take a year before they start asking. He may have all good intentions, but learn more about them as people. I think this is one of the biggest mistakes women make is not understanding them. Not all Moroccans are scammers, so go with your gut feeling, because I know them pretty well and he already has you madly in love with him. I wish you luck, and maybe this is truly a love story🤷🏻‍♀️

@javava88

I have married a Moroccan lady for 15 years and happily living with her and travelling.

I have lived on off Morocco for that many years

i find amusing when elderly ladies come to a third world country and find a much younger man for romance.  I am wondering if you were 34 and a 52 years old man falls in love with you with little money??

Age may not have much impact but in reality  women passed menopause age,?where a man at 34 is very young and blooming

if I am blunt  fact is sex becomes complicated for women in general at that age

in eight years a women would be A senior citizen and a 42 years man can easily find a younger woman

love is  very strong emotions and easily cloud rational judgement

Enjoy relationship with eager young man as long you want

I hope I didn't offend you anyway if I did, plz accept my apologies

@javava88 the person I've been speaking with for years is from Tangier and 34.  The weird thing is that he spoke  to me in German a few times and told me that he forgot to change his translation language before messaging me hhh. He told me that he was translating things for work from German to Arabic. We have been speaking for 5 years and I've been told by other Moroccan friends that I was catfished. But I have seen him on video and I am not one to jump quickly if I feel that something is not quite right.

@mac666 well,  as I am

not a senior citizen hhh,  or have I been to Morocco . I have many Moroccan friends that I've been friends with for many years. I see a lot of young Moroccan men trying to leave morocco as I've have received many messages. They will  tell me they love me and want to marry me. I am not a stupid person that's why I have not fallen into these traps sort of speak. I was just giving advice to other women that may think that these young Moroccan men are in love with them. If there is a young man that is not married and he wants to marry a woman or should I say a middle-aged woman it's for other reasons than love. Moroccan men want children, and here in the United States there are women that are still having children in their 40s, but generally speaking they want to marry a younger women .

I am from tanger its my city .

I don't know why you don't meet him in his city , tanger is small than Casablanca and we can see most people we know in the common places .

Anyway moroccan men have this common thing he can say i love you at first days its a phrase used to explain admire for us which is different from your community , let's say in your country you say first like then admire then love ... Here we say it fast 😅 .

You need time to find what he hide and seen if he us a scammer or not , come to tanger and learn some darija and watch his phone and and talk to other family or friends to get informations before you make any Decesion of Marriage .

And the important of all this don't follow your emotions completely .

Inshaelah everything will be fine we all here help you to find good Decesion , if you have any other questions let us Know .

@laurarae1945 I would say not all of them. but most of them want to leave Morocco. It means to lie to woman and pretend that they love her for minimum of 5 years. No many have stomach to do this but many have. Trust your gut.

@touritox Thank you for providing me your support in advance. I have to say I fall in love at first with the very friendly Moroccan people and then I fall in love with this Moroccan guy. I have to accept that I knew nothing about Moroccan culture and people before I travelled to  your country. Yes, it is very strange for me to hear a guy telling me he loves me only after two or three dates. And then I have been told that there is no concept like girlfriend and boyfriend in Morocco. A man or a woman is either sigle or married. I would not bother you to help me to find out his real purpose. I must have the ability to find it out by myself at my age (50+). But thank you again. You let me see the hospitality of Moroccan people again.

@Popolushka trus

Hello imadaskhatir1996,

Welcome to expat.com!

Do you have anything more to add to this discussion?

Maybe you might want to share your experience with us....

Yoginee

Expat.com

@javava88 My advice to you is to get out of this before it's too late. My best friend met a man from Morocco, and they developed a relationship over a year.  She went to visit him, and was talked into renting an apartment for a year instead of using the funds for a Raid or hotel.  Of course there were promises of him paying her back , as well as him visiting the states.  She did end up furnishing the apartment since it was empty when she arrived...and helped him out with a car.  This is after a year-long romance.  After she returned from Morocco, he kept making excuses as to why he's unable to pay her back.  It's been over a year since her trip to see him, and he continues to push off the responsibility of refunding her the money owed. 

To others reading this, if you have any suggestions as to how to take legal action against this man, please let me know. 

@javava88 .hello.can i have your contact please?

@hosnkhatimaa Hallo, I am glad that we have the forum to share our experiences and stories, to exchange ideas and to become advices. If you have any questions, please ask me here. Thanks for your understanding.

Sorry i can't.it s a special topic!

@Z2023 Oh, I am really sorry to hear that and thank you for sharing your opinion. I hope you have found a lawyer for your issue. I know some Facebook groups like „support

moroccan love“ where you can ask advices and so on. Maybe you can try it.

I have to be aware of financial issues. I know my guy does not earn a lot of money. When we were together I paid normally the bills. But I did it voluntarily. I have not decided to leave him because I really hope it is love between us. He texts me every morning and every night. He makes me feel not so lonely. He do tried to persuade me to marry him. But I told him I need at least one year to know each other before I make any decisions. We will meet up in Feburary again and I will share my experience with all of you. I am so happy that we have this forum and I can get opinions from other mates. Wish everyone of you find love instead of love scammers✌️