Moroccan fairytale or after my money?

@Casa2022 hi. As far as I know the first step into proposal should be your talk to her male relatives. Things work like that here.

This is strange you were never invited for dinner. You know, Moroccans love telling about their hospitality and generosity. But actually I've never faced any. They are very down to earth and practical. Even cold. But constantly smiling and saying pleasant words.

You are muslim?  She cannot marry out of her religion.     Small wedding is strange. They love huge ceremonies.    Very difficult to tell but it does have some red flags. 

Hi!

1. I don't think any woman would like to stay with the husbands family, no matter if she is Moroccan or us any other nationality. It's maybe good for the beginning but later on she will surely want her own place. If she says she is ok with it it's odd, for sure.
2. I'm married to a Moroccan and he brought me straight to his family, even 2 years before we got married. We have lived always together and I was also always welcomed in his family. Moroccans are very open minded when it comes to the wishes of their children. If she didn't invite you or you didn't meet anyone of her family yet it's not normal.
3. There is no need for expensive marriage presents at all here. If she asks for it it should be a huge warn signal for you as well.
4. In Morocco you'll get married in the Islamic office of an Adoul. There you'll sign a marriage contract and you can add everything you want there. But make sure to make another marriage contract with a Notar here as well. If she doesn't like it, you'll know why.
5. And she can't be that religious because if she was, she wouldn't be interested in a non-Muslim. But many Moroccan women pretend to be to not show their real face.
6. It's very common in Morocco that people looking out for foreigners just to have a better living. What you have described looks like a fraud. Best way to figure it out is an official marriage contract. Here it should be regulated what she will get inside the marriage and if it comes to a divorce. This is very important and even many people who really love each other have one, it's not a bad thing and totally normal all over the world.

I wish you all the best and hope you'll be happy 🙏

@casa2022 I am an expat american living in morocco.

If you considering marrying someone from morocco, especially if you have only met a few times, it is important to exercise caution and take steps to ensure your safety. Here are some tips that may help:

Take time to get to know the person: It is important to take time to get to know the person and their family before committing to marriage. This may involve multiple visits to their country and meeting their family and friends.

Do your research: Research the culture, customs, and laws of the person's country to understand what to expect and how to stay safe.

Use reliable sources: Use reliable sources to verify information about the person, such as their background, education, and employment.

Use caution with online communication: Be cautious when communicating with the person online, and be aware of the risks associated with online dating scams and catfishing.

Consider a prenuptial agreement: Consider a prenuptial agreement to protect yourself in case the marriage does not work out.

Trust your instincts: If something feels off or too good to be true, trust your instincts and proceed with caution.

Stay in touch with family and friends: Stay in touch with family and friends throughout the process and keep them informed of your plans and whereabouts. They can provide support and help keep you safe.

Overall I'd say the description your provided raises more than one red flag. My (very smart and wealthy) neighbor was recently married to a moroccan woman with a very similar description to your scenario after knowing her only a few months and they were divorced after 2 months of marriage. Now she owns a large chunk of his wealth.

If she really likes you then she would be proud to show you off to all her friends and family. Sounds like that's not the case.

BE CAREFUL!!!

I am Muslim for the posters assuming that I'm not

well living in pakistani family can be challenging especially with in-laws. Talking from experience as working for few families. I try to express empathy for a lady intended marrying to you. How you gonna ensure that she will be treated well?  If you are serious you should be visiting Morocco with some of your family members so she has opportunity to meet people she will be living with.  I hate this forum for labeling Moroccans as a world class scammers but it also can be other way around when getting advantage of other people.  I am not being judgmental but want to highlight issues that should be discussed before marriage.

@Casa2022

I'm a woman divorced from a morocxan man and lived here 10 years.

My advice most likely won't change your opinion and I don't know this woman... but...

If she was religious she wouldn't be doing this, so throw that notion out the window.

Using Islam to get married quick ( marriage in Morocco is only valid the legal way which is legally binding abroad too)

I'm a muslim woman, I'm a revert to Islam and I did marry fast, but I didn't receive gifts or have flirtatious or any alone time with my ex husband prior to marriage and never have with any man.

Wanting a small, low key wedding is because most of these women won't intend on remaining with the husband from abroad.

Some of these women use to be prostitutes and are looking for a scape goat to claim that foreigner is responsible for taking her virginity so that locals won't talk about her.

Then she will make up some story and leave him for her moroccan life to continue.

She may be chasing your passport and that is the most likely situation.

Sure people marry from other countries all the time, but when one is from a country with a better of government,  policy and lifestyle opportunities etc, you can only ever wonder if they are legit or not.

Moroccans are extremely good at deception. They sit infront of other Moroccans that they hate to the bone and serve them, play nice, smile, laugh, joke and even pretend to be the friend of that person all to speak utter filth about them when they walk out the front door.

I would fear for yo children, moroccan women have this odd jealousy about them, they want to be front and center and it's common in Morocco for women to burn their own child with the metal part of a lighter, to hit their child with the blade of a knife, hog tying their child for disobedience, etc etc. Sure it's illegal but it's the cultural norm and although most women my age ( early 30s) experienced this and the younger generation it obviously isn't clear yet if they will copy that way of parenting.

I also noticed alot of moroccan women aren't affectionate to their own children, very cruel at times and say horrible things. They call their child donkey, stupid and other offensive things that would only happen in very lower class drunkard families ( where I'm from) but in Morocco it's normal.

Like I said, not everyone is the same, but you can't be sure who she really is and what she is really after.

You would have to consider if its worth the risk for you, or not and take that leap or not...

I will end this with a massive warning, I would never suggest anyone to marry a man or woman from Morocco I'm sick of hearing these horrible stories and rarely is there a legitimate one.

So I'd say go on the side of caution, especially for your children's sake.

Hi!

I don't think any woman would like to stay with the husbands family, no matter if she is Moroccan or us any other nationality. It's maybe good for the beginning but later on she will surely want her own place. If she says she is ok with it it's odd, for sure.
I'm married to a Moroccan and he brought me straight to his family, even 2 years before we got married. We have lived always together and I was also always welcomed in his family. Moroccans are very open minded when it comes to the wishes of their children. If she didn't invite you or you didn't meet anyone of her family yet it's not normal.
There is no need for expensive marriage presents at all here. If she asks for it it should be a huge warn signal for you as well.
In Morocco you'll get married in the Islamic office of an Adoul. There you'll sign a marriage contract and you can add everything you want there. But make sure to make another marriage contract with a Notar here as well. If she doesn't like it, you'll know why.
And she can't be that religious because if she was, she wouldn't be interested in a non-Muslim. But many Moroccan women pretend to be to not show their real face.
It's very common in Morocco that people looking out for foreigners just to have a better living. What you have described looks like a fraud. Best way to figure it out is an official marriage contract. Here it should be regulated what she will get inside the marriage and if it comes to a divorce. This is very important and even many people who really love each other have one, it's not a bad thing and totally normal all over the world.


I wish you all the best and hope you'll be happy 🙏
-@Rondainmarrakesch

I agree 100%

Have a pre nuptial agreement.

Agree in your marriage contract you will give her 500 dirham or 1000 dirham a month salary as a wife.

Since she lives with her family, that is a very good and honourable allowance for a woman in Morocco.

If you divorce that you agree to the same amount for the 3 month waiting period!

If you have children xyz ( whatever you prefer but if you don't stipulate residency of the child or allowance she will rip you to shreds in the court )

You can write all your conditions, men and women islamically have the right to stipulate conditions, you can ask anything. You can stipulate your first son must be named " bob" whatever it is you feel would give you the sense of sincerity and then you will see that she is with you for money or not.

But you must follow through with it.

Sit her down, tell her, I'm happy to marry you tomorrow! But we need to agree on a few things first.

Sure discuss it but have some non negotiable things and stand with them, even if she signs and agrees, don't ever waver for her mums medicine because before you know it every member in her family needs chemotherapy 😒

Why are you bitter. A normal person would not speak so disrespectfully. You are being sorry for yourself and you blame Moroccans for it. You must be very unhappy. I hope that one day you will find happiness

@Popolushka I assume your talking to me.

I'm not bitter at all, I learnt a huge lesson.

My ex was British born moroccan but living here for so long I have seen and learnt the way of Moroccans.

I'm re married to a lovely man who isn't moroccan and he has a lovely family, he is everything I could have hoped.

Me sharing the reality of Morocco not just sitting here running rubbish from my mouth singing the praises of people who I have lived around for 10 years.

All places, cultures, nationalities, cities etc have their issues.

I'm merely speaking of what I have seen, learnt, heard, lived.

You don't have to like it but if you are honest with yourself you know it's true too.

@Casa2022

Hi

As a moroccan lady I suggest you to take your time to know her. Some people here are just looking for to be abroad to solve their problems and especially those who are not working.

Buying expensive gifts for the wedding is not good too, if someone is not looking for money.

So don't be in a hurry, if she really wants you she will be patient.

I wish you a good luck.

I know someone who was divorced and married a Moroccan single lady. She never used to ask about his children hardly ever and he found it a bit strange. Normally when women marry a man with children they will be interested in knowing what they can and at least showing some interest in his kids. She never did and it was a sign of things to come. She was extremely jealous of his kids and caused a lot of issues when they would come over and she would be nasty to them. She hated it when her husband would do anything for his children and would get jealous

prior to marriage she was a wonderful woman but during the marriage process she became a little demanding. Whatever the husband did for her wasn't good enough and she always wanted more. He was blinded and didn't see through it all. When the eventually got married she started causing a lot of issues, especially regarding the children and in the end it ended.

i don't know how old your children are but if they are still quite young I would highly advise you to re consider. Moroccan women want all the attention and cannot share it with step children. How is she like with your children? Does she seem motherly towards them? Does she want to talk to them and so on? If she doesn't then these are warning signs for you to be aware of. If she's only interested in you then she's not thinking of the bigger picture that you have children and believe me she will cause issues with regard to them.

think about why a single Moroccan woman would want to marry a man with kids from another country and really think about this.

Don't be another of these men that are destroyed by these women.

as a father your children should always come first and introducing a woman from a third world country to them is a bad idea.

it appears that this woman you're marrying is would do anything to get to U.K. hence why agreeing to live with your family. The fact that you have kids and she's still agreeing to live with them is a huge warning sign. What's in it for her other than a visa and money?

from all the marriages I've seen where the man has brought over his Moroccan bride, I have yet to see a success story. People warn against them for a reason so take heed

It's also very odd that whilst you were there you were not mingling with her family over dinner and so on. There are some serious red flags in what you've described so tread carefully.

why are you spending a lot of money on gifts?? Are you buying the gifts or is she choosing? If she is choosing is she getting expensive stuff? Has she got you anything? When you went to Morocco did she ever spend on you? You really need to think about this. Sorry but as a father you need to be very careful who you bring to your kids life and from what you've described so far this isn't someone you should be bringing to their life. And if you met her online then run away right now!

@casa2022 i am in the process of marrying my Moroccan fiance. i met her 10 years ago but it didnt work out at that time and we went our separate ways. we lost touch with each other. we got together again last year and things started over again. shes been absolutely brilliant and we communicate every day. i met her family last year in October and they were brilliant. she hasn't been pushy or demanding that we get married quickly. although she does feel that she doesnt want to waste time, which is fair from her prospective. we are planning a family so its understandable from her point. in fact, i've been delaying it. when i went to Morroco, i stayed in a hotel, its only respectful and dont forget, as a muslim, you wouldnt want your sisters fiance living with you before she was married. as for her family providing you with a place to stay, thats not something i would expect.

you should get to know her and her family a bit more. perhaps you could suggest it to her that you should be invited to her place a bit more so that everybody can get to know each other more. obviously go to her place at reasonable times, and no late night stays.

there are many horror stories out there about things going wrong for people. but thats life, sometimes things go wrong and sometimes they turn out well. there are no guaranties in life. you can only hope and try.

my only advise to you will be to get to know her well, and have a mutual understand standing of what to expect for the future. and be open and honest so you both know where you stand.

good luck, hope all works out well for you

@Casa2022

i met a Moroccan women online. We spoke on Facetime a lot before I went over.

i went over for 5 days. In that time I met her and her family. I went for dinner at her uncles home- where most of her family came, including grandparents.

i asked the grandfather if I could marry his granddaughter and he agreed on the conditions I was serious about my proposal because he said they were a serious family. I agreed.

I am going back over to Morocco at the end of the month. Her family own several villas and are providing me accommodation for my next visit.

Alot of people in the UK were saying that she might be after the passport, or money etc. i put this to her and it upset her greatly. She was saying she would only move to the UK to be with me, and if she had a choice she would prefer me to move to Morocco.

i think it is easy to be worried and for people to cast doubt. However, you need to make your own judgement.

Some local Moroccans will cast doubt because they are jealous or do not like the idea of a Moroccan woman marrying a foreigner.

i asked her myself, why she would not want to be with a Moroccan man. She said it was due to the fact the man would be chauvinistic. Make her stay at home, no work etc.

i have no reason to doubt the legitimacy of my situation. Her family have been supportive and welcoming towards me and seem very open minded in terms of country integration. 

All her family added me on social media whilst I was there.

@laurencej96 furthermore. I tried to buy her gifts etc - my own decision and she would refuse. I have only ever bought her flowers- birthday/valentines day.

yet she buys me gifts such as clothes, without me asking.

so for me, it seems a mutual commitment.

@Zig8UP to judge all people it's stupidity i mean all morrocan like a huge ceremony correct ur toughts then give advice

@Zig8UP judging all people is stupidity, i mean don't repeat all morrocan likes a huge ceremony correct ur toughts

Hi
i have met a beautiful Moroccan lady a couple of months ago and we are going to marry soon. I am divorced with children and she has never been married. She is around 13 years younger than me. She will be living with my family when she comes to the U.K. and she is okay with this. We get along great and things appear to be fantastic and I am looking forward to marrying her.
however, a few people have warned me against this, they are telling me that she will have a problem living with my family when she gets here and that she may be after a passport/money. They are questioning why she would choose a man with children from another country. She has given me no indication that she's a fraud and appears very genuine. I haven't met her whole family just her immediate family and I'll be travelling again soon to finalise the marriage. I have travelled there a few times already to sort paper work out etc each time staying in a hotel. My close friends are saying that this is odd and her male relatives should have provided me with a place to stay. They find it odd that whilst I was there I was never invited to dinner at her family home but I believe this is because the woman is religious and we had not done our nikah yet. I am spending a lot of money on buying her gifts for the wedding which she seems eager to receive. She doesn't want to invite many people to our wedding ceremony and prefers a small do. Surely this is a good sign as she would have wanted a lavish wedding if she was just after money? Personally I have no doubts about her but other peoples opinions promoted me to make this thread, I'd be interested in other opinions. I don't think anything I've described would be an immediate red flag which is why I am quite positive that she is genuine
-@Casa2022

I think this is a bit to much of warning…

I'm together with my Moroccan husband for 9 years, married 4, expecting our baby now.

I also live here 12 years and yes, there are many people here just looking for a better life! But why choosing those people? If you know the person has not enough income don't come together, you wouldn't do that in your own country as well. Why here?

I would have never dated someone who doesn't earn equal or even more than me. I didn't want to be a sugar mommy but many many do and these are the ones who usually get dumbed after a while…

So many horrible stories, yes, I agree. But also so many naive foreigners leaving their brains at home…

If there is a difference in age of 10 years or even more, what do you expect? If he has not enough money, do you think he wants to depend on you all life? If you're to old to get a child, do you really believe he will stay with you? Of course not because here it's important to have kids.

I can also not hear those stories anymore, but mostly because of such a naive behaviour of foreigners. I know there are also very sad stories about being used and cheated on so badly and it was never the fault of the foreigner but that's usually not the case

Not the foreigners should be blamed here. And they are not naive as well. If they were naive, there will not be such post like this one!

Everybody has the right to choose a better life. But one should reach his goal through hardworking and genuine love. But unfortunately some Moroccans are trying to reach their goals (visa, sex and money) through faked love. They are so skillful and experienced in using loveboming and gaslighting that one thinks it must a group of people who has done them for a long time. I have been travelled to Morocco. I am totally fascinated about the beautiful country and the hospitality of Moroccan people. But I am still shocked about the romance scams as well no matter whether there is a huge age gap or not.

The posts here are warning people to be aware of possible love scams and proving emotional support.

@jasmineman31 🤷🏼‍♂️

@Casa2022

firstly let me wish you well. Hope it all works out. I've met some lovely Moroccans and I wish you a happy life. My concern isn't about this lady or Morocco the country or even whether she is Muslim or not. My concern from your little post is that you met a person abroad and are now getting married after 2 months. Don't you think this is a bit too quick? Look if you were living in England and this lady was here with you maybe not too far from your home you would meet every day have dinner etc and 2 months wouldn't be so bad and you could genuinely spend quality time together. But realistically how many times have you met in a 60 day period ?? A few weeks/weekends is really not long enough to choose a life partner especially where that person is going to enter an extended family in uk with children involved?

marriage in Morocco is legally binding in uk. I can't say from your post if you are particularly wealthy but nevertheless you do seem in a rush. If it's true love it will blossom regardless of money, gifts or a uk passport. Take your time.

Tell her you plan to move to Morocco and live here with your children and behave in that way for at least 3 months.

One more thing, do not give her any money in cash or kind for 90 days.

You will get your answer Inshallah.

I can not agree more. But if someone is a scammer, She / he is patient. She / he can play the perfect lover for a long period.

@laurencej96

Are you muslim bro?

@Casa2022 Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! It's understandable to have concerns when others are expressing doubts, but ultimately the decision to marry this woman should be based on your own instincts and feelings about her.

It's important to approach this marriage with open communication and honesty, especially given the potential cultural differences and the fact that she will be living with your family. Have you discussed with her any concerns or questions that you may have? It may be helpful to have these conversations before the marriage takes place, so that any issues can be addressed and resolved early on.

you will be SCAMMED. period

@car2go83 and do you know the person who is scamming him?? If so please enlighten us with you unforeseen knowledge of the future.

Am sure you could have written with a bit more wisdom and not reflect your subjective opinion based on a potential experience you had.

Just my 2 cents on this topic.

As far as I know,  the only thing that we can be absolute by is death

NOTHING ELSE IS GUARANTEED IN LIFE

@Casa2022 I would have a prenup agreement signed its very common for females to marry return home and bully the man into paying up.

Its why many woman cant find a man to marry because its become a shambles.

Hakim the football star had signed his money over to his mother his wife wanted a divorce within a year and half of his money she dident get it as he said I have no money..So the point being even if the woman is genuine the courts are not they are very unfair and if she has lots of brothers they can intimidate you.

So for both your sakes the money side must be made clear and legal and an agreement signed and if its for a passport only count yourself lucky at least you would be rid of a pest.

@have a nice day

Vast difference btw Hakim the footballer and a common person like yourself!  He has money, mega money kicking a ball using his talent, while you work 9-7 everyday in a low paying job!

Not ALL women are grasping, calculated harridan out to make money off some moron!

@Ha Gu60 haha.... nothing to with religion!  Scam is scam!

@Zig8UP

Rubbish!  Of course she can, if she wants, unless she's going to stay in her little bubble.

@aishahm I think thats quite a harsh judgment on Moroccans ive seen mothers very loving and in fact over obliging to spoilt kids and fathers too.

Anyway its not about how nice people are or are not its about common sense it could be any country and its best to have a prenup agreement if in doubt and to do things properly with a prenup she may run a mile !

Which will end the farce .

@H2099 Ha Ha from her point of view im starting to have sympathy coming over here thinking us Moroccan woman are cheap as in poor country Il show you mate ! In a way she might think whats he after does he think a nice subservient wife kow towing to him !1 She might think Il get a visa out of it.

Their are two sides to every story the answer is the legal route she says what she wants he does too they put it in a prenup and its a legal binding thing.

@RR@ am sorry what did I say about religion?

@Casa2022 rather woman be scam, But Married for visa it's happen lots from Moroccan man . Hope you have a beautiful future with her.

@H2099 I agree 100% with you.  To add onto what you said…  They may show interest in your children to gain your attention, but beware!  Nice she is with you in your home that switch can flip.  She got what she wanted and no longer needs to play pretend.  I can say this bc my friend had this very experience with her husband.  He “liked” her kids then once he got here after a few months told her to give them to their fathers.  He did this over the course of 2 years; she's now filing for divorce!

And I'm sorry but there are red flags all over EVERYTHING @Casa posted here.  My advice, either get to know her better (if she's genuine she'll have the patience for this) and if not the RUN!

@javava88 I disagree…scammers have no patience bc they want what they want and now. If they don't get it in a specific timeframe, they WILL move on to another person, until they find someone desperate enough to ride in the fast lane. When they find that person that's who they marry and divorce later after they've moved into the other country and created stability in work.