The realities of pursuing a career overseas as a mother

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Written by Helena Delbecq on 19 November, 2024
Pursuing an international career as a woman presents unique challenges, especially when young children are involved. As an expatriate without the support of your close family, maintaining a high level of organization is crucial, alongside securing flexible childcare solutions. What other obstacles might you face while continuing a career abroad with young children?

Adapting to a new environment while managing childcare

Taking on a managerial role overseas is challenging in itself. Adapting to new languages, work cultures, and different management styles often requires a significant adjustment period, which can be both time-consuming and exhausting.

This challenge is intensified by the gender biases that many women encounter when seeking recognition for their expertise and potential, especially in foreign roles where cultural differences may also affect perceptions of women's roles in work and society. A Harvard Business Review study highlights these issues, emphasizing the additional hurdles women face.

Practical aspects of daily life in a new country also add complexity. The pressure to adapt to new social norms, navigate unfamiliar services, and overcome language barriers can be daunting. When these challenges coincide with the need to care for young children, the situation can quickly become overwhelming.

Many expat moms bear a significant mental load while trying to balance a demanding career with childcare responsibilities. For example, Nancy, a legal support manager for 13 countries in Asia based in Hong Kong, shares her experience: “I've been able to enjoy some flexibility in work schedules, but my partner is often away. Managing childcare has been a real issue. Even though we found a very reliable babysitter, coming home late after meetings is always challenging, and I struggle with guilt.”

The continuous strain of childcare systems

Living far from family and relatives, expat mothers often find themselves without any support for their children's care. In many cities, childcare spots are scarce, posing significant challenges for working expat mothers seeking suitable arrangements. Countries like France, Switzerland, Australia, and Japan regularly face shortages of childcare staff. Even Sweden, often regarded as a model for family-friendly policies, struggles with staff shortages, particularly in its larger cities. In Germany, there's a notable shortfall, with around 400,000 daycare spots needed to meet demand.

Securing a daycare spot is just one hurdle—the facility's operating hours often don't align well with a standard workday. This makes hiring a babysitter or an au pair a necessity for many working parents. For children attending school, the need extends to after-school care and homework help, especially in places like Germany where school typically ends at 1 PM.

Parenting cultures vary by country

While pursuing a career alongside raising young children may seem perfectly reasonable, it doesn't always align with the cultural norms in some advanced countries.

In Japan, for instance, it remains common for women to leave their jobs upon marriage or when they have children. Although societal attitudes are slowly evolving, according to The Economist, these changes are only just beginning to take root. In Germany, it's commonplace for either parent to take extended parental leaves, supported by laws that allow for 14 months of leave to be shared between parents or 12 months for a single parent, during which a portion of their salary is paid. Consequently, few German mothers return to work immediately after their statutory maternity leave ends.

Do you wish to quickly resume work without any special extension? While this is certainly possible, it may not always be viewed favorably. The term "Rabenmutter" (raven mother) is used to describe mothers who are perceived not to spend sufficient time with their children. Additionally, finding a daycare spot for a very young child (under 6 months) in the country can be especially challenging.

Work-life balance remains a challenging equation for expat moms

Cultural differences in work-life balance present significant challenges for employed expat moms. Lisa, who works in Seoul, experiences cultural pressures to be constantly available for work, which clashes with her desire to spend quality time with her young children. Despite government initiatives aimed at improving work-life balance, such as policies to limit overtime, deep-seated cultural expectations still make it difficult to manage. This situation mirrors experiences in Japan and China, where it's common for colleagues to reach out during weekends. Similarly, in the United States, the work culture is intensely results-driven, with long hours and high expectations to meet objectives, often at the expense of personal time.

Navigating these complexities is essential for expatriates striving to maintain a healthy balance between their professional and private lives.

About Helena Delbecq

Holder of a degree from the French Ministry of Education and a Master II in Language Policy, I have had the opportunity to live in Japan and China, and am currently based in Germany. My activities revolve around writing, teaching and managing programs.