You vividly recall the day you announced your big news: you were moving abroad for an incredible adventure. You can still see the astonishment, the envious glances, and mixed heartfelt and obligatory congratulations. "You're so lucky!" your friends and family often exclaim, almost excessively, making you feel as if you truly possess something special. You're an expatriate. But what do people think when they elevate an expat to such heights? Between dreams, misconceptions, and realities, does being an expat make you cooler?
Living in a postcard setting
Have you ever found yourself endlessly scrolling through countless photos on Instagram? Dreamy landscapes grab your attention, sparking fantasies of a simpler life—perhaps under palm trees with your feet dipped in turquoise waters or lounging in a lush meadow. In the past, only professional photographers could craft such captivating images. Now, any traveler can become a photographer, often using heavy filters to enhance their photos. The images, and by extension, the expats' lives, can seem almost surreal. The seasoned traveler lives in a postcard-perfect world and becomes an accessible celebrity. You can engage with them and ask questions; they might even be in your social circle. This "mini-celebrity" status seemingly elevates their coolness above others.
Is expat life a wakeful dream?
The unknown either terrifies or entices. The expat has drawn the winning card: he is rare and, therefore, captivating. They are seen as exotic and mysterious, both approachable and elusive—a perception heightened by the very act of moving to a foreign country. In the collective imagination, the expatriate is invariably living a dream. This is especially true if they reside in places that many fantasize about. To those around them, the fortunate expat has daily access to breathtaking landscapes, while others—mere mortals caught in their routines—must contend with dreary skies. Expats might also mirror unhealed inner wounds. They have achieved what some only dare to dream about. They have lived their dream. How can one not find that appealing? How can one not feel a twinge of envy? From this, skewed perceptions and insincere compliments may emerge. Many wish they, too, could live such a vivid dream.
Expats travel, so they are cool
But caution is advised. As previously mentioned, not all countries carry the same weight on the prestige scale. The allure of an expat varies significantly depending on the country. Unsurprisingly, the most idyllic, sought-after destinations enhance an expat's appeal. This is particularly true if the destination is far-flung and unknown to his peers, thus deemed "exotic." In the game of "dare or not dare," being an expat racks up considerable points. Having realized their dream, expats are seen as stronger and more resilient than others. They are determined, persistent, active, and entrepreneurial. Every flattering adjective seems to adhere to the term "expat." They are perceived as grand adventurers, lovers of humanity and nature, curious globetrotters, polyglots, historians, and geographers—as if being an expatriate is an exhilarating profession. Their life is imagined to be endlessly exciting and utterly incredible.
The expat plays with words
If the expat is cool, the immigrant is much less so. Yet, both terms describe the same reality. However, few expatriates refer to themselves as immigrants—a matter of perspective, as one might find stated elsewhere. Expatriates often define themselves in relation to the country they leave rather than the country they move to. This is noteworthy since many expatriates wish to integrate more fully into their host countries. But here's the thing: expatriates receive far more flattering adjectives than their immigrant counterparts. Is this the fault of the media? The fault of history? Expats don't often ponder this question. They're not to blame for the hype surrounding them. They do, however, sometimes relish a bit of the situation.
Expats tell you stories
A little ego boost doesn't hurt. Yes, being an expat doesn't always equate to a glamorous life. But how do you convey this to friends and family who've placed you on a pedestal as soon as you describe your life project in Barcelona, Melbourne, or Tokyo? They imagine you living in picturesque settings from your Instagram feed, think your salary is enviable, and believe your social circle is so vast it fills your contact list. Sometimes, you concede, it might be you who spins a slightly more enchanting expatriate tale than the reality. Sharing your struggles? Certainly, you do. But then you face accusations of "overdoing it" and failing to appreciate "the luck" you have. Everything is chalked up to "luck," though you know the challenges you faced to fund your move and secure your visa. You sometimes feel misunderstood, sometimes isolated. So yes, occasionally you indulge in crafting stories to preserve your "expatriate in the wind" image. However, be cautious not to stray too far from the truth.
The glass half full is already good
Fortunately, deep down, those who shower you with compliments understand that you haven't suddenly become a billionaire influencer. They recognize that living abroad is still just living, with its ups and downs. People enjoy hearing and telling beautiful stories, and being an expat offers ample material for both. It's often said that expats experience a honeymoon period in the early days of their move. Yet, the reality varies greatly depending on the individual and their circumstances. Some skip the honeymoon phase entirely and adjust to their new routine within weeks. Others face persistent cultural shock, financial strains, and loneliness.
If being an expat seems cooler, it might be due to—or despite—the many misconceptions about it. Traveling tends to broaden the mind, and moving to a desirable destination can boost one's allure. Change brings surprises, and naturally, we prefer to imagine the pleasant ones. We hope that life abroad, like life in general, will offer many such surprises, but we also brace for the challenges. That's what living abroad entails. When the allure fades, the reality of a routine filled with the daily grind emerges, challenging any romanticized views. Daily life persists, regardless of location. Expatriates don't always have the time, inclination, or resources (or all three) to live "the good life" in their new country. After all, the good life can be found both far from home and just around the corner. It's all about perspective.
