Pros
Planning together
First of all, define your project, and the role each of you will have during the process until you settle in your new home. If you've just been offered a position abroad or you've been accepted at a university to study further, you will probably be taking most decisions, including where to move to. Will your partner be the trailing spouse or is there any possibility for them to take up a new job or study further as well? Start by answering this question before making plans. In any case, you can count on your spouse to help you deal with formalities such as obtaining a visa or a permit. You can also let them choose the specific neighbourhood and the accommodation you will be living in, and plan your budget together. And what if things don't turn out the way you expected them to? It's easier to make a plan B together than trying to figure it all out on your own.
You won't feel lonely
Moving with your partner means you won't ever feel lonely, even though you may have to overcome some expected homesickness. Obviously, you will miss your friends, family, your favourite hangouts and the food! However, your partner's presence will be a big comfort factor. Coming back home after a hard day at work means you will have someone to talk to and share your experiences with. Even if you don't have any friends yet, you will still have some social and emotional support! You can go out for dinner or have a drink, or just take a stroll around the neighbourhood. If you're the introvert or shy type, you can let your partner take over when at the restaurant or to ask your way around your new city.
Overcoming the culture shock together
Moving abroad is an adventure during which you will discover new cultures, traditions, and lifestyles. Even though you've done a lot of research about your host country, do expect a culture shock at your arrival, especially if it's your first time away from home. Having your partner by your side can make things so much easier, especially if you don't know the local language and you're finding it hard to adapt. Going back home might not even cross your mind. It's always easier to overcome difficulties together and deal with new challenges that will add to your beautiful memories. Why don't you enrol for language courses and practice together, for example?
It will bring you closer
If you're usually very close to your family and friends, it's time to face reality. They won't be here physically when you need them, even though you will be able to keep in touch by phone, text messages, and social media. On the other hand, moving abroad together can strengthen your bond as a couple, especially when things get complicated. Do you even need new friends when you can rely on each other? Obviously, you have to socialise for better integration, but you can't deny the fact that a close-knit relationship is priceless. Also, your spouse can help you in many ways like budgeting and following through on your budget restrictions. Else, you might have been tempted to go out shopping or partying all the time so you won't feel lonely. You don't have to check your friends' availability to plan a night out. You just have to call your partner to ask them out for dinner or have a drink after work.
Cons
Loneliness for the trailing spouse
Moving abroad as a couple can be tricky when one of you is the trailing spouse. Many studies show that women are more likely to give up their career and social life to be the trailing spouse. However, have you ever imagined how your partner is dealing with this new life in a new place? Suppose you are tied up at work, and you have to cancel your night out at the last minute. What if it becomes recurrent? Suppose you will be away on a business trip for the weekend, leaving your partner on their own. Very often, loneliness can lead to depression, and you definitely wouldn't want that for your partner.
Conflict due to lack of communication
Spending time together can get difficult. If you've just started a new job, it's likely that you will have a busy schedule, and, therefore, not be able to make enough time for your partner. In some cases, you may forget to inform your partner that you won't be able to make it for dinner tonight – which can be disappointing. Also, expanding your social or professional circle may lead to conflict since you will be making less time for your life as a couple. Amidst the chaos of starting afresh abroad, how are you going to tell your partner that you need some time on your own?
It will be harder to expand your network
Expanding your social and professional networks is one of the keys to a successful expatriation. Meeting new people sharing the same views and interests as you will become a new priority for better integration – which means spending more time away from home. Moreover, your partner may not necessarily fit in your social circle or your professional network. And what if your partner is struggling to overcome the culture shock while you're busy making new friends? Your partner's frustration can have a negative impact on your relationship and your integration.
Repatriation can be complicated
Repatriating can be as complicated as moving abroad. If your work contract has come to an end, you will probably have to go back home, find a new house and a job, and get back to your old habits. But what if your partner prefers their new life and career abroad and prefers to stay? If your spouse is the adventurous type, they could also suggest moving to another city or country. How far are you both ready to go through all this process once again? Are you on the same page regarding your plans for the future? Are you prepared to say goodbye to your family and friends forever (but with the option of visiting them once a year or two) and move on in the name of love?
Moving abroad with your spouse is not as easy as it seems. More importantly, you must be able to ask yourself and your partner, the right questions, and answer them honestly. Communication is without any doubt the key to success. If you have been through all this, feel free to share your experience or tips to soon-to-be expat couples by leaving a comment below.
