This is a story that many expats understand, but don't always talk about. Follow one expat's journey back to happiness through the application of the PERMA model, a powerful tool in positive psychology, and discover how you can learn more about yourself in the process.
Four years ago, my mother gifted me a notebook with a Jane Austen quote on the front cover. "If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek them abroad."
A perfect farewell gift before I did exactly that. A fusion of excitement and panic surged through my nervous system. “What am I doing!?”, I wrote in my notebook on day three. All I knew for sure was that my pursuit of happiness was leading me away from the bitter English winters to the mystic jungles of Central America. I wasn't turning back.
Time has passed, and the excitement has faded. The thrilling challenge of the language barrier can often burden me with insecurities. The fascinating cultural differences can sometimes isolate me. And happiness? At times, it feels further away than ever.
How can we combat this?
The Truman Group, an expatriate mental health company, found that 50% of expats were at high risk of developing anxiety and depression abroad (2011, Truman). Unique stressors such as identity loss, culture shock, and limited work opportunities are part of the problem. Another study found that 42.8% of expatriates rated the loss of a support network as a top stressor (Aetna International, 2016). This is compounded by many choosing to conceal their feelings. Why? Because you're living the dream! Aren't you?
Clinical psychologist Dr. Sean Truman recommends remedies such as plenty of sleep, exercise, a healthy diet, and nurturing social connections. These are indeed helpful, but sometimes not enough. This is when I discovered PERMA.
What is PERMA?
The PERMA model was developed by Dr. Martin Seligman, the ‘father of positive psychology.” It seeks to “define, quantify, and create wellbeing” (Rusk & Waters, 2015), and consists of five key components:
P – Positive Emotions
E – Engagement
R – Relationships
M – Meaning
A – Accomplishments
These components have been found to create significant improvements in “physical health, vitality, job satisfaction, and life satisfaction” (Kern, Waters, Alder, & White, 2014), as well as predict and alleviate psychological distress (Forgeard et al., 2011). And the best part? You can proactively work to improve all these areas in your life!
How does it work?
P – Positive Emotions
This encapsulates all positive emotions: hope, love, happiness, gratitude, and many more. These emotions are cultivated to improve well-being and grow emotional resilience (Tugade & Fredrickson, 2004, 2001).
Practical steps you can take:
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Start a ‘Gratitude Journal.'
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Spend time with loved ones or enjoy a hobby.
E – Engagement
One of my favorites, engagement champions the concept of “flow” which occurs in an activity perfectly balanced in skill and difficulty (Csikszentmihalyi & LeFevre, 1989). In other words, engagement involves knowing and utilizing your strengths, which improves overall happiness and lessens depression (Seligman, Steen, Park, & Peterson, 2005).
Methods to increase engagement:
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Recognize your top strengths and engage in activities that use them.
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Be present, even in mundane tasks.
R – Relationships
Humans are inherently social (Seligman, 2012). Being supported, loved, and valued in your relationships is vital in improving mental and physical well-being and preventing cognitive decline, especially as we age (Siedlecki, Salthouse, Oishi, & Jeswani, 2014).
Ways for expats to build strong relationships:
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Practice active listening to deepen connections.
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Seek out communities of expats and fun activities in your new country.
M – Meaning
Seligman (2012) describes meaning as a feeling of belonging or purpose, where you contribute to something beyond the self. It is found to help people live longer, have fewer health problems and greater life satisfaction (Kashdan, Mishra, Breen, & Froh, 2009).
Strategies to find meaning:
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Get involved in a cause or organization that inspires you.
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Try new things to connect with and find your purpose.
A – Accomplishments
Finally, accomplishments help us reflect on our lives with a sense of pride (Seligman, 2012). It's about mastering an endeavor. Yet, intrinsic goals such as connection and growth, lead to greater gains in well-being than fame and money (Seligman, 2013).
How to build accomplishments:
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Set SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-bound).
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Reflect on your successes and celebrate them.
I was fortunate enough to be introduced to PERMA through my work with the University for Peace, created by the United Nations Assembly in 1980. We provide online, and onsite courses in Costa Rica. Some use PERMA as a framework to think about leadership or education, while others help establish purpose by giving social innovation skills to changemakers. With a global classroom of participants, our courses help participants grow exciting new relationships as well. Learn about our Diplomas in Social Innovation and Global Leadership here, or check out our upcoming courses here. Expat blues don't need to be the end of your journey. They could be the start of a deeper adventure inward to discover who you truly are.
