An expat's life is punctuated by significant milestones – the initial month in a foreign land, the inaugural birthday, and the first Christmas. These milestones become even more important when children are part of the adventure. In many countries, Christmas remains a family celebration. So, how do you celebrate your first Christmas abroad, and how do you get your children involved?
First Christmas abroad: getting ready with the kids
And here comes the much-anticipated Christmas season, assuming that you've moved to a country that celebrates this festive holiday. To ensure a memorable first Christmas, you need to make a few preparations. It's not about undertaking an extravagant Christmas project, especially if you've recently arrived in your new city, but rather about setting the right conditions. If you're in good spirits and enthusiastic about having a joyful Christmas, there's a good chance your children will be, too, even if they're still navigating the whirlwind of the initial months of living abroad.
Anticipation becomes essential. Are you still trying to find your bearings, or have you settled into your neighborhood? Consider whether you can celebrate at home. Will it be a cozy Christmas with blankets, an outdoor celebration, or a festive event in line with the traditions of your host country? Have an open discussion with your children about all these aspects. Consider assigning them responsibilities suitable for their age. Older children can take on more practical roles such as managing shopping, acting as the chef, overseeing Christmas decorations, coordinating the chorus, offering fashion advice for Christmas attire, handling logistics, etc. Feel free to use professional vocabulary—it adds a fun twist to the experience.
How do we deal with sadness and nostalgia?
Christmas holds significant importance as a family celebration, but the nuances vary across cultures. For instance, in Japan, it's a time for couples to go out, while family gatherings are important in the New Year. The notions of "family" and "reunion" can evoke nostalgia or sadness. The first Christmas abroad can be challenging for you and your children, especially if you're used to organizing big family celebrations. As an expatriate, you've now become a notable absentee. Christmas, an occasion to bring together family members rarely seen, now highlights your absence. It's undoubtedly a hard time to deal with.
Pay attention to your children. Encourage them to share their feelings. Some kids naturally express themselves, while others internalize their emotions. Some may find drawing to be the best option. Don't force a child who is naturally reluctant to talk about their feelings. Instead, adapt your approach to each child's personality, intervening if you notice any signs of distress (sudden behavior changes, apathy, irritability, anger, appetite changes, loss or overeating, etc.).
Initiate conversations about Christmas early to gradually involve children in the preparations, beginning with "emotional preparations." Help them find inner peace, accept sadness without being overwhelmed, and encourage positive anticipation for the upcoming adventure. Viewing Christmas as a new experience lets us focus on what we're about to discover rather than dwelling on "what we've lost." In reality, it's not a loss; the celebration may differ from what you're familiar with, but it will still be a celebration.
How is Christmas in your host country?
The most challenging aspect might be observing. Holidays like Christmas serve as a year-long milestone, acting as an anchor in our lives. Christmas, a widely celebrated traditional festival worldwide, may vary in customs from one culture to another. However, the essence remains consistent: sharing, solidarity, mutual assistance, love, reunion, and unity.
What's Christmas like in your host country? Embark on a quest for information with your children. The Internet offers plenty of articles detailing the Christmas traditions of different countries. However, don't restrict your search to the Internet. Libraries and media centers (depending on the city, of course) are still around. If you're fortunate enough to have one at home, you and your children can dive into history books. Adopting a more traditional research approach transforms you all into investigators for a day. It's a great way to prepare for Christmas and look forward to the future. By staying occupied and engaged, your children will have less time to think about past Christmases.
The information you are looking for might be right around the corner. Do you have neighbors? Is there a local tradition of Christmas celebrations in your community? In places like Romania, for example, choirs ring doorbells and sing Christmas carols. Reach out to your neighbors for more insights. Also, consider talking to your colleagues at work, your children's friends, the baker, or the local shopkeeper. These friendly exchanges may lead to a wonderful multicultural celebration.
Christmas decorations with the children
Now comes the fun part. With your decoration and organization managers in place, it's time to get hands-on. Find out if your host country has a tradition of Christmas trees and what color scheme is typically used – is it red, white, and green, or do they prefer other colors? By focusing on one form of Christmas, we forget that many other countries celebrate it in summer. So forget winter, snow and the big hat, and make way for flip-flops and summer outfits. Let your little Christmas fashion advisor lead the way in giving the entire family a festive summer makeover.
When it comes to decorating, the decision is yours: do it as you would in your home country, adopt the traditions of your host country, or create a mix of both. You can even organize a Christmas that's a bit different and honor a culture you appreciate. The same flexibility applies to organizing Christmas: you can choose a total return to your roots, immerse yourself in the traditions of your host country, mix the two, opt for a Christmas inspired by another country, or create a fusion of a thousand cultures. Enjoy the process—that's what Christmas is all about.
These preparations provide a chance to observe and talk with your children, making it feel more like a casual discussion than an interrogation. How have they been doing since you moved? How are they handling their first Christmas abroad? Remember, actively participate in every step of the preparations with your children. You might be surprised at the number of ideas they can come up with.
And why not set off on a new adventure?
Have you had a chance to explore your city, region, or country since you moved in? The first Christmas marks a significant milestone in your new life. Why not seize the opportunity to discover more about your adopted country? You don't have to invest in an expensive holiday with your children; even a day in the city can turn into an adventure. If you're a bit budget-conscious or have an adventurous spirit, consider improvising a short backpacking trip. Of course, this depends on factors like your fitness level, children's ages and health, safety considerations, etc.
This trip will immerse you in your country in an entirely new way. You won't be playing the role of an explorer because, by now, this is your home. Instead, you'll be learning the art of discovering your country – meeting people, observing, practicing the language, indulging in local cuisine, and heeding the advice of the locals.
The best Christmas movie
Are you someone who enjoys watching a good movie with your children? To transform a cozy movie night Christmas into a must-see event during your first holiday season abroad, step into the role of filmmakers. Be the actors in your very own Christmas movie. Edit the video, create your film. This project could serve as both a "memory album" and a new milestone for the year. Each Christmas, you'll have the opportunity to watch your own unique family film.
Once again, there's no need to invest in professional equipment. If you have a camera, that's great. If not, your phone or tablet will work just fine. The same applies to editing software – keep it simple. Your computer or tablet likely comes with standard editing software that's easy to use.
Your Christmas movie could be a compilation of everything you've filmed and photographed since your arrival. Include the Christmas preparations in the film as well. Once again, rely on your children; they'll have plenty of ideas. Be creative and let your imagination soar. You're not competing for an Oscar. The best prize is already yours: spending your first Christmas abroad with your children.
The best Christmas theater
Has filmmaking made you want to get up on stage? Or do you prefer the adrenalin of live action to cine-cocooning? If so, theater might be the perfect fit. If one of your children has a literary inclination, encourage them to write the script or collaborate on building the story together. Assign roles for costumes, decorations, and other aspects of the production. Transform your home into a theater, with the living room as the stage. The audience can be seated comfortably on the sofa, chairs, or floor cushions. The question is, who to invite? You can choose to be the sole audience for your children, or you can participate in the performance with them. In either case, feel free to invite your children's friends and their parents, your friends, neighbors, and others to join in the fun.
When dealing with logistics, try to accommodate everyone's schedules since your guests may already have plans. Consider merging celebrations. Perhaps shifting the afternoon theater performance to an evening dinner? Your initial idea of a small family theater could evolve into a big neighborhood theater, mixing various traditions and cultures. It's a unique opportunity to connect, build relationships, learn from each other, and share. Such a project can be a valuable experience for you and your children – mastering the art of compromise, navigating different personalities, self-reflection, and learning from others. And, of course, there's nothing stopping you from filming your efforts.
Virtual party with the family
Family is always present, even when you're miles apart. How about organizing a virtual gathering with your loved ones, whether they're back home or in another country? Don't fret; we won't suggest diving into the metaverse. The term "virtual party" means gatherings held on instant messaging systems. Celebrations on platforms like Skype, Zoom, Teams, etc., have gained popularity, especially since the health crisis.
If the Internet is accessible in your area (acknowledging that there are still places with limited connectivity, not only in the most remote regions), consider hosting your inaugural virtual Christmas party with your family. It's an opportunity for you and your children to reestablish connections with your loved ones, revisit past festive Christmases, acknowledge how far you've come, and recharge your batteries for the upcoming new year. With family, the adage holds true: "Out of sight, out of mind."
