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Dating in Indonesia

Published on 08 September 2022
Updated byAnne-Lise Mestryon 08 September 2022

By itself, finding a partner for life is already not a simple thing, and it gets even more complicated when you live in a religious and traditional foreign country like Indonesia. Here are some tips that might help you in your quest for love during your stay in Indonesia.

Indonesia is a country where religion is no joke and ancestral traditions are extremely important. For example, marriages in Indonesia are only considered valid if they have been consecrated by one of the main local religions. Therefore, expect difficulties if you want to find your soul mate in Indonesia and if the person you are looking for happens to be a citizen of the archipelago.

How to meet new people in Indonesia?

First and foremost, you will have to strictly observe all codes and ethics of approach if you have a crush on an Indonesian counterpart. Smiling is the most effective method of approach. Everyone smiles in Indonesia, so don't hesitate to flash your teeth!
Speaking a few words of the local language will also help you blend in better. Indonesians are always delighted when a foreigner makes the effort of speaking their native language. Hence, below are some simple Bahasa words to use in your daily life:

  • Good morning (informal) - Halo / Hai
  • Good morning (morning) - Selamat pagi
  • Good morning (afternoon) - Selamat siang
  • Good evening - Selamat sore
  • How are you? - Apa kabar?

You should be careful not to shake hands with a woman, especially a Muslim woman until she has extended her hand. If the person you are greeting is not used to shaking hands, a slight nod will suffice.
To address a young single woman, the appropriate terms are Mbak, Kakak or Kak. For young men, you can use Mas, Kakak or Kak as well. Note that the greeting terms differ according to hierarchy and age difference. The words are different for people who are older and those who are much younger than you, but the ones we share here are the most appropriate for courting young locals.

Getting married in Indonesia

You should also be aware that if you choose to get married in Indonesia, you will have to do so under a religious regime. You will also have to choose one of the officially recognized religions: Islam (national religion), Hinduism, Buddhism, Catholicism or Protestantism. If the bride and groom do not share the same religion, one of them will have to convert to the other's religion. Finally, premarital sex is particularly disapproved by local religious communities.

For all these reasons, expatriates who marry Indonesians are quite rare. Generally more open-minded, expatriates are used to going out with each other, and mixed unions are often frowned upon by local communities.

Where to meet new people in Indonesia?

To meet other expatriates in Indonesia, many young singles go to popular clubs, bars and nightclubs, especially in Bali, Jakarta and other major cities. There is a wide range of options but be sure to find out in advance which venues are most popular with expatriate communities. Another popular way to look for partners in Indonesia is to sign up for an online dating site like Tinder. There are plenty of them in the country, and some, like Muslima, even specialize in religion. Some of the most popular dating sites in the country include Asian FriendFinder Dating, InternationalCupid, Hotti or IndonesianCupid.

Useful links:

Asian FriendFinder Dating

InternationalCupid

Muslima

Hotti

IndonesianCupid

We do our best to provide accurate and up to date information. However, if you have noticed any inaccuracies in this article, please let us know in the comments section below.

About

Anne-Lise studied Psychology for 4 years in the UK before finding her way back to Mauritius and being a journalist for 3 years and heading Expat.com's editorial department for 5. She loves politics, books, tea, running, swimming, hiking...

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