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Your neighbours in Hungary

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Cheryl

Hello everyone,

When you move in Hungary, relationships with your neighbours can play a vital role in your well-being and integration. Share your experiences of the interactions and routines that punctuate your daily life in Hungary:

Tell us about your relationships with your neighbours in Hungary. Do you have any anecdotes to share, moments of solidarity or community initiatives that have touched you?

Are there any specific customs or cultural norms to be respected between neighbours? For example, is it normal to introduce yourself to your neighbours and invite them over when you move in Hungary?

Do you have any tips or advice for fostering good neighbourly relations in Hungary? How do you deal with the differences and diversities that can exist within the community?

Are there any initiatives to organise activities between neighbours, whether official events or spontaneous gatherings?

Are your neighbours expats or locals? How does this influence your experience in Hungary?

By sharing your experiences, you enrich everyone's understanding of life in Hungary and help many people to plan their life abroad.

Thank you all for your contributions.

Cheryl
Expat.com Team

Marilyn Tassy

It's best to just be friendly but not get too personal with neighbors.

The days of borrowing a cup of sugar and gossiping about other neighbors is long gone.

Our neighbors are mostly Hungarians.

Everytime we had a renter from a Indian or 3rd world sort of country, they didn't last long.

The people from India underneath our flat were driven out by people complaining about how bad their food smelled.

No kidding. I loved the smell, my only complaint is I wasn't invited to dinner.

When we moved in it was a shocker.

Our next door neighbors had lived in the house for over 72 years. The granny had been born and that's was the only place she ever lived.

Her SIL and daughter lived with her with their girl.

Her SIL was the unoffical house manager, the day we moved in he was on duty so to speak.

As we moved our things into the flat with our movers 2 Gypsy men came into the house.

I know they had a few break-in in the cellar in the past so our neighbor kept an eye on everything.

They always had their front door open during warmer weather and watched who came and went.

Well, the 2 guys made a mistake entering our house.

Our neighbor and his adult son had them pinned down on the ground in the yard and just sat on top of them until the police arrived.

Not sure what happened to those 2 guys but  I bet they never entered our building again.

We used to go to their flat at least once a week and chat, drink and eat. Went fishing with them once and visited their older son at his house for a BBQ.

They kept an eye on our place when we left the country on vacation.

In time though we realized the situation was a bit strange.

The man was a bit of a heavy without any real job but had many different nice cars and paid for underground parking on several of them at one time.

Started to think he was into some things we were better off not knowing about.

After one long holiday away we just started refusing their dinner and drink invites until they got sick of inviting us.

It was sort of clear something wasn't right when they never wanted to do anything near where we lived but always wanted to do things many, many miles away.

The guy must of had enemies close to home and didn't want to run into them while out with his wife and his friends.

We used to take our one elderly neighbor out dancing. She was  in her late 70's early 80's  and still very active . Had a boyfriend on the side. Her daughter and her BF's daughter were both against their relationship so they had to sneak around behind their backs like teenagers in love.

The met at the dance hall and we helped by making it look like we were just taking granny out for a little bit of socializing.

She has since passed on and many people in the house have either passed or moved away.

Now it's mostly looking like young collage age students and a few old timers like us.

In thse past 14 years we are probably in the 10% old times residents here in the house.

We keep to ourselves for the most part.

It's pretty quiet aroun d here these days.All the,"fun" people moved or died.

With property prices going up  we have more professionals in the building then blue collar workers.

cdw057

I think we were in a different situation, a small village just 1800 and both Hungarians and Foreigners (mostly Germans) were looking for each other (I think they appreciated that we have lets say an attentive GSD (but that is aside))

Anyhow no crime in our village as far I am aware off (and news goes fast).


Living a city definitely has pluses, but so does living in a village.

In general I can say good exeperiences with neighbours!!


Easy life in a way (not for my wife as she had do all the work (my health)) but home delivery of meat, cigarettes, wine, whisky and especially GIGA burger was good. At the time (and perhaps still) I drove my wife to Heviz Lake, we went to restaurants (by car), ..

But admittedly a huge house and a huge garden can/is difficult.

fluffy2560

We've got one loopy/angry neighbour in his 80s but his daughter in law keeps him under control. He's the guy we had a land dispute with.


On another side we have pensioners who are very typical of who would have been here 50 years ago.  Like they emerged from a time warp.


Opposite, young professional couple who inherited grandfather's house.


Next to them is a couple in their 70s who are very nice and friendly.


Just a bit further down is a retired couple, the guy speaks quite reasonable English.


People do keep an eye out for trouble. I can see anyone in the street who doesn't fit.

Marilyn Tassy

I do know that many people in Hungary, even neighbors do not like to be called by their common name.

My husband and the lady who used to live nextdoor to us had a sort of formal thing where we came over, they had a drink and told each other that from now on it was OK to use their first names instead of their surnames when greeting each other.


Last week in the shop 2 young teen boys from the Serbian school ( we live near there and know when they are spekaing Serbian with each other)they were buying some snacks and when finished said Szia to the clerk. A middle aged lady.

My husband asked her how she felt about them saying such a casual term towards her.

She smiled and said at least they said something to her. Most people don't even say thank you or good-bye to the clerks.

I didn't know some people here get very upset if you are too casual with them on meeting.

Not all neighbors want to get to know each other.

In our building we noticed a fellow American in the house. Haven't seen him in a bit , maybe he was in uni for a season and has left?

Well, I heard he was American by his accent but chose to not get to know him or even let him know I was from the states too.

I'm sure he heard there is an American in the house but he was just odd when I passed him in the stairway.Didn't think I wanted to go out of my way to introduce mayself to him and left well enough alone.

fluffy2560


    I do know that many people in Hungary, even neighbors do not like to be called by their common name.
My husband and the lady who used to live nextdoor to us had a sort of formal thing where we came over, they had a drink and told each other that from now on it was OK to use their first names instead of their surnames when greeting each other.
Last week in the shop 2 young teen boys from the Serbian school ( we live near there and know when they are spekaing Serbian with each other)they were buying some snacks and when finished said Szia to the clerk. A middle aged lady.
My husband asked her how she felt about them saying such a casual term towards her.
She smiled and said at least they said something to her. Most people don't even say thank you or good-bye to the clerks.
I didn't know some people here get very upset if you are too casual with them on meeting. 

    -@Marilyn Tassy


I actually get offended if people don't call me by my first name.  I don't really like being addressed formally as I think it's a barrier.  I make sure when I meet someone, I always say you can call me by my first name.  In some places they address people by their family name. I try and put a stop to it up front.  It reminds me of being in school where we were always addressed by our family name.  I think it's not friendly enough.  But in the military, you get over it fast!


One thing I really like in Europe is people saying Good Morning and Bye etc to each other.  In some countries they don't always do that - I'm determined to educate them on the importance of etiquette in such settings.  But there are always nuances. 


On the phone in HU, people usually say who they are as the call begins. In the UK, they don't do that until it becomes necessary. I now find that a bit odd.  One thing I don't get is in US shows, they never say Bye on the phone.  They just stop the call but I wonder if that's just TV.  In the UK, they always say Bye.


When I'm walking the dog I always say "Jo napot" to people I meet on the way.   I think some of them are foreigners and they don't know what to say but they could just say it in English on the chance.   If they've got a dog as well, it's an ice breaker to talk about dogs.


I'm on first name terms with my neighbours except the old time warped ones on one side.  With them, it's strictly "Jo napot" everyday.  It's what they want, so meh, I can live it.  Everyone else is Szia.

Marilyn Tassy

In Hungary no one knows how to say my name for some odd reason.

My husband tells them all the time it's like Marilyn Monroe. If not, I'm always Maryann.

Don't like either name but it wasn't my choice.

My deceased sister used to call me Mare and now one friend does that.

It's sort of personal with me, only really close people call me Mare. Even my mother didn't call me that.

My husband has a ton of names he calls me, not always  super endearing ones!

His fave is," Bitty" he says it's a name of a little girl but to my westen ears it reminds me of ,"old Bitty" like in a witchy women.

Don't like it at all.

In the casinos they always called us by our surname or they had a nickname for us.

You didn't get a nickanme until they excepted you really.

Mine was , "Sassy Tassy" sort of a no brainer on their part.

Some nickanmes were rather mean.

I really never speak to my neighbors, my husband is the mouthpiece.

I'd never in a million years call my neighbor Dr. but she really seems to get off on being one.

Never knew so many people who use the title Dr. in the names as over here.

I know in beauty collage they told us we were ,"Hair Doctors" so perhaps I should start using that title too!

fidobsa

Where I lived in Scotland girls were "quines" and boys were "loons". In Belezna I had some good neighbours and some eccentric neighbours. The woman I bought the house from lived opposite and I used to buy firewood from her. They were a nice family, willing to help if needed. The eccentric ones lived next door. They would come round and just walk in without knocking or anything. One of the brothers seems to collect strange musical instruments, although he could not play them. He would come round and show me these sometimes. They lived with their elderly mother who was the most normal of the three. Nobody in the village spoke English but for the first year or so I had a friend who helped with interpreting sometimes.

fluffy2560


    Where I lived in Scotland girls were "quines" and boys were "loons". In Belezna I had some good neighbours and some eccentric neighbours. The woman I bought the house from lived opposite and I used to buy firewood from her. They were a nice family, willing to help if needed. The eccentric ones lived next door. They would come round and just walk in without knocking or anything. One of the brothers seems to collect strange musical instruments, although he could not play them. He would come round and show me these sometimes. They lived with their elderly mother who was the most normal of the three. Nobody in the village spoke English but for the first year or so I had a friend who helped with interpreting sometimes.
   
    -@fidobsa


Never heard those Scots words.  We all know bairns etc but quines and loons, no idea.


I suppose your neighbours with eccentricities had nothing else to do out in the sticks.  Why not collect musical instruments?  Make as much noise as you want.


There's a village where my wife lived for some years as a child and she still knows many there.  When she went to visit her friend in our UK registered car, the friend insisted on being driven around the village to wave to everyone showing she was in a foreign vehicle.  I suppose it was meant to "big herself up".  I mean, WTF, who does that?

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