Topics on the forum

    So many things to change views, but I do not see anything
A few examples
-New ticks seeming to be active in Southern Hungary (30% mortality rate)
-Russians in Hungary
-Prices in Restaurants (to me nothing much changed, but many seen to be in desperate situation)
-Healthcare (difficult to find GP's I think)
-Have energy bills really increased (I think not, but you can share your views)
-Changes in public transport
-.....
So many topics, however I avoid the topic anything else (too general)
Just my view.

Not the reponsibility of the moderator, but I like to see topics where I can jump into.
   

    -@cdw057

We've got ticks on our animals every day.  Even the cat gets them.  Maybe it's just the weather.  They are nasty things but easy to remove using special tweezers.

Not seen any Russians as such but plenty of UKR cars.   I don't think RU cars are allowed in the EU now.  If there were any, maybe they got re-registered.

Stopped going to restaurants as perceived low value.  Better to take a picnic.

Energy bills - just diesel/benzin fuel has gone up.  More like Austrian prices.

Public transport - not seen any changes

Ticks on pets? Or people with ticks?

My dog was in quarantine in Hawaii for 4 months.

Every single day I was able to visit him, I missed only about 4 days of visits in 4 months. Spent most of my time in a animal cage or driving 2 hours round trip to visit him.

Long story but I went through my dogs fur every visit, first thing to check off his care list for the day were ticks.

So wet and humid with 3,000 dogs and 2,000 cats being caged in close quaters to each other.

I had to have my dog moved to a different run at least 4 times because the dog in the next cell, cage, was full of ticks and their owners never visited them.

I washed my dog with tick repellent shampoo almost every visit and dried him in the sun after a rub down with a towel.

I had my tick kit with me, cotton balls, alcohol, matches and tweezers. Nasty buggers!

They sprayed the grass between dog runs for ticks but it hardly worked with so many dogs being infected.

I kept his tick infestation under control but for a period of about a month he had at least 3 or 4 everyday that had to be removed by me.

So glad he had short fur because they really can hide.

Nasty things.

Restaurants ,not interested in eating out.

I never took myself out to eat in my life, never been into food that much. Only went out with other people and it never was my idea to go out to eat.

I do plan on eating out if I ever make it over to Japan but only to try their special ramen or an exotic dish.

Overpriced and not prepared exactly as we like , I also dislike eating in front of people, reminds me of those silly muck bangers.

So animal like to stuff ones face in front of others.

If there was a pill that gave all the nutrition one needs for energy it would free up so much time spent thinking about food and making it.

Soylent Green?! People remind me of hungry beasts when they eat.

I would be very interested in fasting but I am also afraid to do a long fast since my digestive system took a hit when I was very ill.

I never have any problems seeing our GP if needed . We always get them on the phone if needed and usually get an appointment to come in fairly quickly.

The only issue is getting results back from an exam. Used to take about 10 days for the results to come in, now it is about a month.

I get an appointment with our dentist within a week of calling her up if not sooner.

Russians, IDK you might be thinking of Ukrainians? Yes in the city we hear them all the time.

Not sure where they come from but Ukraine is a good bet.

    Ticks on pets? Or people with ticks?My dog was in quarantine in Hawaii for 4 months.Every single day I was able to visit him, I missed only about 4 days of visits in 4 months. Spent most of my time in a animal cage or driving 2 hours round trip to visit him.Long story but I went through my dogs fur every visit, first thing to check off his care list for the day were ticks.So wet and humid with 3,000 dogs and 2,000 cats being caged in close quaters to each other.I had to have my dog moved to a different run at least 4 times because the dog in the next cell, cage, was full of ticks and their owners never visited them.I washed my dog with tick repellent shampoo almost every visit and dried him in the sun after a rub down with a towel.I had my tick kit with me, cotton balls, alcohol, matches and tweezers. Nasty buggers!....Restaurants ,not interested in eating out.I never took myself out to eat in my life, never been into food that much. Only went out with other people and it never was my idea to go out to eat.I do plan on eating out if I ever make it over to Japan but only to try their special ramen or an exotic dish.Overpriced and not prepared exactly as we like , I also dislike eating in front of people, reminds me of those silly muck bangers.....I never have any problems seeing our GP if needed . We always get them on the phone if needed and usually get an appointment to come in fairly quickly.....    -@Marilyn Tassy

People with ticks might be sufferers of Tourette's.   Or maybe Parkinson's or Essential Tremor* somewhat.

On the other hand....

We used to only get ticks on the dog when we've been in the forest.  The cat doesn't go for walks and stays in the area - usually hiding at one particular neighbour's place.  Always goes over there.  But it seems like the ticks are now in the garden as well which is a new development.  We just pull them off with tweezers and dab on some antiseptic cream. I think for the most part we get  them off no problem.  We've never seen any signs of infection from the head being left in so we must be quite good at it.  We only really notice these ticks when coming the dog or cat or giving them a stroke.  It's amazing how quickly those ticks get fat.

Restaurants are really overrated in my opinion. We're avoiding them.  Even McDonalds costs about 8-10K HUF for four people.  That's much more than it used to be.  We could eat for maybe 6K HUF  18-months ago. I expect it will have doubled from 2022 by 2025.  I even take sandwiches to the airport now and eat them on the plane.  And I'm not the only one. An empty water bottle one can fill up at the water fountains.   If they finally get new scanners eventually, we'll be able to take water through security. 

People in Japan eating their noodles alone sometimes watch other people eating on their phones.  It's a weird thought they need to have "company" while having their lunch. I saw it quite a lot when I was accidentally visiting Japan.  The biggest problem there is language accessibility - it's not easy to read the menus etc and very little is in English.  I struggled with that so I ended up in Hawaii Burger in Tokyo simply because they had an English language menu I could read.  On the other hand, transport (train) was easy to use with multi-lingual ticketing and station names etc.  Free WiFi made it all much easier too.

GPs generally accessible but how good they are, I am not sure.  We've had to seek 2nd opinions on kids' ailments.  But on the other hand, in an emergency, one would likely be treated OK at a public hospital.

*I have this but it's quite mild. It waxes and wanes over time and visibility depends on what I am doing and how I feel.  It does affect my life. Runs in the family - my siblings and mother also developed it.  Not sure how bad it will get.  Wouldn't really call it a tick.  More like random low speed oscillations.

A couple years back my cousins husband got Lyme Disease, picked it up at the golf course I think. Either in the US or when he was playing in Scotland.

Who would think golf was that dangerous.

He was in hospital for a few weeks but fine now.

I should check out why I used a hot match head for ticks, been a few years since I dealt with ticks on my dog.

I made sure to wear gloves too when I removed his pests.

IDK what to say about doctors, seems there are always good ones and bad ones.

I had more bad experiences then good ones overall.

The worst was when they gave me chemo without letting me know it was possible it could kill you if allergic to it.

I was allergic to it, thankfully the Gods did not want me just yet!

There is an option to be tested first, 2 differnt tests can be given. I would of paid out of pocket for tests if I had only known about the subject.

Now, I look online about any test etc. before getting them.

    A couple years back my cousins husband got Lyme Disease, picked it up at the golf course I think. Either in the US or when he was playing in Scotland.
Who would think golf was that dangerous.
He was in hospital for a few weeks but fine now.
I should check out why I used a hot match head for ticks, been a few years since I dealt with ticks on my dog.
I made sure to wear gloves too when I removed his pests.

IDK what to say about doctors, seems there are always good ones and bad ones.
I had more bad experiences then good ones overall.
The worst was when they gave me chemo without letting me know it was possible it could kill you if allergic to it.
I was allergic to it, thankfully the Gods did not want me just yet!
There is an option to be tested first, 2 differnt tests can be given. I would of paid out of pocket for tests if I had only known about the subject.
Now, I look online about any test etc. before getting them.
   

    -@Marilyn Tassy

Lyme Disease is a really nasty thing to get.  It has so many vague symptoms and quite rare so I think many medics might miss it.  Easily treated though.  Anywhere there's water and infestations of rodents (i.e. rats), it's a potential hazard.  I've played golf in Asia and I was warned about it on their courses.   Golf is very popular and of course Scotland is the home of it.  But mostly the rats one might mostly see are the two legged variety.  I'm thinking one specific one who is often in the news who might be one golf course and estate down if things don't go his way.

Speaking of tests, one of our kids gets recurrent tonsillitis.  We went to a private doctor as most GPs will just give antibiotics on the off chance it's bacterial BUT it could be viral.   We've got wise to this - it's a kind of scam. 

The GPs do not usually do swab tests for it.  Most tonsillitis is caused by Strep A.  But for like 3K HUF, you can get a self test kit for Strep A at the pharmacy and then you'd know if it's viral or bacterial. If it's viral, antibiotics won't do anything. 

We checked using the Strep A swab test and it was bacterial, so we kept on with the antibiotics and it was resolved eventually.

Anyways, I reckon our kid needs to have those tonsils out. It's been going on for many years and it reoccurs at least once a year.  We resisted taking the tonsils out because  they are supposed to be protection but the pain and uncomfortable nature of it all, it looks like they'll have to be removed to just stop it once and for all.    Anyway, that sprog is over 18, and can therefore decide themselves.

Tonsillitis is painful.

I had it off and on so many times as a child my mom just had them pulled out.

My poor baby bro was 3 and I was 7 at the time. Mom and dad decided to pull his out too so they would not have to deal with it later.

We shared a hospital room.

My older sister had theirs out at the same time when they were 6 and 8. Like a right of passage.

My bro was talking and laughing post surgery while I could not even touch my ice cream.

I was sick from being put under and my throat hurt for the longest time post surgery.

The younger a person is when they do that surgery the faster it takes to recover.

I remember when Ringo Star has his removed and everyone was so worried for him, think he was in his late 20s at the time?

Yes, doctors are hard to figure out. Sometimes they overdo tests and other times they brush people off.

My step dad was being treated for hemorrhoids for 6 months when he had colon cancer!

6 months is a long time to let that illness take hold.

Always get a second option for everything.

    Tonsillitis is painful.
I had it off and on so many times as a child my mom just had them pulled out.
My poor baby bro was 3 and I was 7 at the time. Mom and dad decided to pull his out too so they would not have to deal with it later.
We shared a hospital room.
My older sister had theirs out at the same time when they were 6 and 8. Like a right of passage.
My bro was talking and laughing post surgery while I could not even touch my ice cream.
I was sick from being put under and my throat hurt for the longest time post surgery.
The younger a person is when they do that surgery the faster it takes to recover.
I remember when Ringo Star has his removed and everyone was so worried for him, think he was in his late 20s at the time?
Yes, doctors are hard to figure out. Sometimes they overdo tests and other times they brush people off.
My step dad was being treated for hemorrhoids for 6 months when he had colon cancer!
6 months is a long time to let that illness take hold.
Always get a second option for everything.
   

    -@Marilyn Tassy

I didn't realise how painful tonsillitis was for kids. I never really had it when I was a kid.  I never had to have them out and I don't remember being sick with it either.   I am sure I did But our kid seems to really suffer.  I've never really been ill with anything serious or in a hospital except for minor things.  Never been in hospital overnight. People tell me it's really boring.  Now I've said that I'll have to touch some wood (my own head usually).

I totally agree with you on 2nd opinions.  When I was young(er), I thought doctors were infallible.  They never made mistakes and were in it for you.  But now I'm suspicious of everything they say, are really after the money and definitely seek second opinions as they do not always care enough.  They don't have  to suffer the consequences either as they are not the ones suffering.

Reminds me of the chicken and pig who decide to open a breakfast restaurant.  Soon, they argue over responsibilities.  The pig argues with the chicken, "you're just involved, but I'm committed".

I had my tonsils out when I was 5, and yes very unpleasant, I actually nearly died. I had a cut in my throat and I was coughing up literally sacks of blood. I spent quite a while in hospital. I had lost so much blood they even had trouble finding a vein. 45 years on and I can still remember the time. Must have been bad as although my town had its own children's ward, I was transferred to the nearby City hospital.

    I had my tonsils out when I was 5, and yes very unpleasant, I actually nearly died. I had a cut in my throat and I was coughing up literally sacks of blood. I spent quite a while in hospital. I had lost so much blood they even had trouble finding a vein. 45 years on and I can still remember the time. Must have been bad as although my town had its own children's ward, I was transferred to the nearby City hospital.
   

    -@SimCityAT

Oh dear, sorry about it.  If they gave you a transfusion, it would really give you a boost.  I remember Mrs F getting a transfusion post-partum.  She was as white as a sheet and the doc said there was some bleeding. They whisked her away and gave her some blood.  She came back looking really flushed with rosy cheeks.  What a difference!

Tonsils is a popular childhood operation.  Mrs F had her tonsils out 50+ years ago.   One of my kid's friend's appendix was taken out last week.  It's a safe operation and a good war story and even a scar to brag about between teenagers.  My niece who is getting on for late 40s had her appendix out after suffering quite a while with on and off symptoms.  She wasn't bragging about it though.

        I had my tonsils out when I was 5, and yes very unpleasant, I actually nearly died. I had a cut in my throat and I was coughing up literally sacks of blood. I spent quite a while in hospital. I had lost so much blood they even had trouble finding a vein. 45 years on and I can still remember the time. Must have been bad as although my town had its own children's ward, I was transferred to the nearby City hospital.        -@SimCityAT

Oh dear, sorry about it.  If they gave you a transfusion, it would really give you a boost.  I remember Mrs F getting a transfusion post-partum.  She was as white as a sheet and the doc said there was some bleeding. They whisked her away and gave her some blood.  She came back looking really flushed with rosy cheeks.  What a difference!

Tonsils is a popular childhood operation.  Mrs F had her tonsils out 50+ years ago.   One of my kid's friend's appendix was taken out last week.  It's a safe operation and a good war story and even a scar to brag about between teenagers.  My niece who is getting on for late 40s had her appendix out after suffering quite a while with on and off symptoms.  She wasn't bragging about it though.
   

    -@fluffy2560

I did get a new carpet, and it lasted as long as I remember, was still there when I left home.

I did get a new carpet, and it lasted as long as I remember, was still there when I left home.
   

    -@SimCityAT

Very practical.

Not a magic carpet I suppose?

"It's a weird thought they need to have 'company' while having their lunch."

In some countries there's a stigma about eating alone. It's like saying you have no friends.

I remember once eating in a country like that when a solo diner came into the restaurant. And he felt he had to give the waitress an explanation why he was eating alone. ("My colleagues are all tied up at work tonight.)

    "It's a weird thought they need to have 'company' while having their lunch."
In some countries there's a stigma about eating alone. It's like saying you have no friends.

I remember once eating in a country like that when a solo diner came into the restaurant. And he felt he had to give the waitress an explanation why he was eating alone. ("My colleagues are all tied up at work tonight.)
   

    -@zif

Yes, very cultural.  Sometimes eating alone is a good thing.  But that's individualistic Western thinking. 

I'm often away working and I eat alone quite a lot.  Usually I check out a few places, then settle on maybe 3 of them to be a regular.  I don't make excuses, it's none of their businesses but if they want one, "Right now, I'm hungry" should be enough!

I have never eaten alone or ever went to a bar alone in my 69 years.

I have sat alone at work eating on break but that is different then going out alone.

It is rather strange when I think of it.

I may of sat in a bar with friends a couple of times but never alone.

I did most of my bar hopping at age 4.  Back then my father would take me with him while mom grocery shopped.

I sat at the bar with a soda while dad pounded down some beers. Cultures change all the time. Now it is illegal to bring a child into a bar in the US.

One thing my husband insisted on showing me today was very strange.

I thought nudity was not allowed online .

He had a suggest site to look at and it had a young women with nothing on below her waist and it was a full viewing! Yikes,I wonder if that is allowed only in the EU because I have never seen such a thing posted online for the world to see in the US.

I have heard they make allot of money with each viewing click they get , she had nearly 2 million , views!

    I have never eaten alone or ever went to a bar alone in my 69 years.
I have sat alone at work eating on break but that is different then going out alone.
It is rather strange when I think of it.
I may of sat in a bar with friends a couple of times but never alone.
I did most of my bar hopping at age 4.  Back then my father would take me with him while mom grocery shopped.
I sat at the bar with a soda while dad pounded down some beers. Cultures change all the time. Now it is illegal to bring a child into a bar in the US.
One thing my husband insisted on showing me today was very strange.
I thought nudity was not allowed online .
He had a suggest site to look at and it had a young women with nothing on below her waist and it was a full viewing! Yikes,I wonder if that is allowed only in the EU because I have never seen such a thing posted online for the world to see in the US.
I have heard they make allot of money with each viewing click they get , she had nearly 2 million , views!
   

    -@Marilyn Tassy

Nudity is not frowned on in Europe as much as it is in the USA.  It's really common to see topless sunbathing even at Balaton and in some places, it's just normal.  No-one says anything much about it. I don't really notice it anymore. Quite right too.

Of course, nudity is censored in the USA (not talking about porn). It's like swearing - everywhere on cable TV.  And freedom of speech etc.  I remember when I was a kid, stars were put over the nipples of nude women in magazines.  It's really daft as the USA has massive porn industry and a huge amount on line.   It's all double standards.   

Even pornstars get famous - Stormy Daniels for one!  Incidentally, from what I read about her testimony in the current Trump trial, she's one very smart woman. Very quick thinking. So brains and porn can fit together.

It's dead easy to circumvent any restrictions on those kinds of web sites.  It's definitely a jungle out there despite all efforts by government to control it.   

Our friend was a runway fashion model in Milan back in the 80s.

She and her model friends would go topless on the beaches in Italy.

It was not legal really but since they were so good looking, they had a pass.

She told us sadly that they gave out tickets to the more unattractive  ladies who wanted to be , free range.

Double standards.

Wonder who those ladies felt who got tickets?

No, what we saw online was the other half unclothed.

No interest in going to the dark web or seeing things that should be kept in the dark.

The edit seems to no be working on this site. Who and how, I seem to have my brain in backwards mode.

(If you're having problems editing here, using a different browser or updating your existing one may help.)

Edit: And I just added this after posting the above. Of course you can only edit a post within an hour of making it.

    Our friend was a runway fashion model in Milan back in the 80s.
She and her model friends would go topless on the beaches in Italy.
It was not legal really but since they were so good looking, they had a pass.
She told us sadly that they gave out tickets to the more unattractive  ladies who wanted to be , free range.
Double standards.
Wonder who those ladies felt who got tickets?
No, what we saw online was the other half unclothed.
No interest in going to the dark web or seeing things that should be kept in the dark.
   

    -@Marilyn Tassy

Tickets for not being attractive.  Pff.... 

That's a state sponsored misogyny. 

I bet the fellas didn't get tickets for having Homer Simpson beer bellies.   

......Of course you can only edit a post within an hour of making it.
   

    -@zif

Really? I didn't know that. 

It's one of the mega annoyances of chat programmes like WhatsApp.

Not seen that in others like Viber.

    ......Of course you can only edit a post within an hour of making it.        -@zif

Really? I didn't know that. 



    -@fluffy2560

Advisors & Experts can edit their posts unlimited time.

R H I P. Even here!

    (If you're having problems editing here, using a different browser or updating your existing one may help.)
Edit: And I just added this after posting the above. Of course you can only edit a post within an hour of making it.
   

    -@zif

I will have to take some time one of these days and figure this thing out. I inherited my husbands used laptop and it is all HU keyboard.

I am always in a rush and should spend some time figuring this out.

Thanks for the tip.

        Our friend was a runway fashion model in Milan back in the 80s.She and her model friends would go topless on the beaches in Italy.It was not legal really but since they were so good looking, they had a pass.She told us sadly that they gave out tickets to the more unattractive  ladies who wanted to be , free range.Double standards.Wonder who those ladies felt who got tickets?No, what we saw online was the other half unclothed.No interest in going to the dark web or seeing things that should be kept in the dark.        -@Marilyn Tassy

Tickets for not being attractive.  Pff.... 

That's a state sponsored misogyny. 

I bet the fellas didn't get tickets for having Homer Simpson beer bellies.   
   

    -@fluffy2560

That is funny, Homer Simpson bellies...

My friend had the misfortune to always get groped in Italy on public transportation, the down side to being pretty.

It was so crowded, she would feel a had going up her skirt and could not figure out where was the perp.

I did not know her all that well, she was more of my sisters friend. My sis modeled for a short time in Ca. before she got married and her husband put a stop to it.

Our friend had a few mag covers, big time stuff.

A sweet person who passed away too soon.

She lived large but her candle went out too soon.

Got the big C and passed at age 32.

She had a side hobby of singing with her band.

Still has a video on U tube, under the title of Peggy and the Pils. Song is titled , Nobodys Bride, sort of haunting now to watch it.

She dated Adam Ant back in the day, later she had enough of rockers with their egos and dated a very unattractive Italian guy who made Pizza.

Just showed what a sweetheart she was ,Looks did not matter to her that much.

In Ca. we hung out a few times at the pool, drinking rum and laughing.

Went into a grocery store, Gelsons to buy our rum.

I will never forget the reaction some old men had when we came in.

My sister and I looked like twins and could pass but they could not stop staring at Peggy. They about fell over themselves walking and not looking where they were going.

Guess even old guys made fools of themselves with her around.

I remember I gave her some funds to buy me a few clothing items in Italy. I loved her taste in clothing.

She took the time to shop for me and mail out my package.

Not everyone would do that with their busy lifestyle.

I know speaking of modeling sounds shallow to some people.

I suppose I am thinking of the past and those who have passed.

Our friend was not shallow at all.

She seemed to have it all. looks, connections, money, freedom but she did not see her life that way.

I said to her at the pool, that she had a perfect life and it was so glam.

She told me I had the perfect life.

She told me I was so lucky to have a husband and child and not worry about what she had to worry about.

Guess the grass is always greener from the other side.

She said it was not easy to be judged by her looks all the time.

People disliked her on one hand without knowing her and on the other hand they used her to make themselves look good.

Something to think about I suppose.

That is funny, Homer Simpson bellies...
....
She dated Adam Ant back in the day, later she had enough of rockers with their egos and dated a very unattractive Italian guy who made Pizza.
Just showed what a sweetheart she was ,Looks did not matter to her that much.
....
   
    -@Marilyn Tassy

I used to know Adam Ant's guitarist's brother.  But that was like eons ago (40+ years ago).  I never knew what happened to the brother as we lost contact.   I liked him but he was a bit miserable, depressed and a bit self-destructive for some reason.  He was super clever and academically gifted.  I hope he got over that period and survived to live a fulfilling life.

Meanwhile elsewhere,  we were in the countryside with my MIL looking at my MIL's land she owns next to the Tisza river.   She's really on her last legs - cannot eat, cannot see, hardly can walk, racking cough and dementia.  We arrived at her house to find her fallen over with a bleeding head after bashing it on the wood heater - only superficial.  She thought the zimmer frame was a chair and tried to sit on it, missed and got injured.  We had to rescue her.  I keep thinking someone is going to go there and find her dead. 

It's an unsustainable situation, she has to go into a home where she can be monitored 24x7. I find it odd no-one is really organising it or has any urgency.   When my time comes, I wonder how we would be looked after.

Gosh, not sounding good Mr. Fluffy.

That is a bad situation and yes, would not be surprised to find her next time out for the count.

My MIL did not seem that bad off but at age 80 fell in her garden and was laying there until her daughter came to visit her. Just a few hours time and thankfully it was not wintertime.

IDK, someone must take action.

I wonder if you can just put her in a safe place and then collect funds from her close family to help off set any extra costs.

Sounds like it is an emergency and the gov. should help out with getting her set up quickly.

I know in emergency cases they will move people up the waiting list.

She is not going to put herself in a home, her children must step in.

I am sorry to say she might not be around too much longer from the sound of things so her children are going to feel pretty bad if they do not do something now.

Blaming each other later on.

Human nature to not want to face the truth.

I like Hungary but logically know if my husband was no around, it would be a nightmare for me to get old here and be in a home without the language skills needed for everyday care.

No one wants to face aging and being helpless but it happens if you do not die off younger.

My friends mom had dementia and they were forced to put her in a home even though they had the resources to even bring in homecare of get someone to stay 24 7 with her.

Just sometimes medical equipment needs to be used on people and it is not available for homecare.

Even a full time nurse is limited with what they can do at times.

They should not feel they are letting her down if no one can do homecare for her.

I already now our son is not reliable and helpful, we are on our own.

At the moment, my SIL is experiencing heart issues. She is only in her early 60s too.

She had to quit teaching and just got out of the hospital, my brother brought in a hospital bed for her.

Her 3 adult sons live close by and have not visited her once.

Now they should feel like scum.

Some people can not face reality I guess.

Best wishes and I honestly hope a solution is found quickly.

    Gosh, not sounding good Mr. Fluffy.
That is a bad situation and yes, would not be surprised to find her next time out for the count.
My MIL did not seem that bad off but at age 80 fell in her garden and was laying there until her daughter came to visit her. Just a few hours time and thankfully it was not wintertime.
IDK, someone must take action.
I wonder if you can just put her in a safe place and then collect funds from her close family to help off set any extra costs.
Sounds like it is an emergency and the gov. should help out with getting her set up quickly.
I know in emergency cases they will move people up the waiting list.
She is not going to put herself in a home, her children must step in.
I am sorry to say she might not be around too much longer from the sound of things so her children are going to feel pretty bad if they do not do something now.
Blaming each other later on.
Human nature to not want to face the truth.
I like Hungary but logically know if my husband was no around, it would be a nightmare for me to get old here and be in a home without the language skills needed for everyday care.
No one wants to face aging and being helpless but it happens if you do not die off younger.
My friends mom had dementia and they were forced to put her in a home even though they had the resources to even bring in homecare of get someone to stay 24 7 with her.
Just sometimes medical equipment needs to be used on people and it is not available for homecare.
Even a full time nurse is limited with what they can do at times.
They should not feel they are letting her down if no one can do homecare for her.
I already now our son is not reliable and helpful, we are on our own.
At the moment, my SIL is experiencing heart issues. She is only in her early 60s too.
She had to quit teaching and just got out of the hospital, my brother brought in a hospital bed for her.
Her 3 adult sons live close by and have not visited her once.
Now they should feel like scum.
Some people can not face reality I guess.
Best wishes and I honestly hope a solution is found quickly.
   

    -@Marilyn Tassy

Thanks.  It's not really my feelings but Mrs F's level of effort that I worry about.  In that village, there's not a lot that can be done to improve her care.   She does have a carer a couple of times a day on a week day and it's partially paid by the state.   So that's something but my MIL spends most of her time in bed or sitting in a chair.  She's not able to do anything else.

We'll be able to move the MIL to a Budapest address and get her into a Budapest government care home in exchange for most of her pension.  It's just got to be done as it's dragging Mrs F down.  But weirdly, no-one seems to have any urgency about it.  I don't know why no-one is doing anything at all.  What's stopping them? 

If my MIL did go into a care home, the chances of her coming out is zero.  It could actually do her in.

If I was stuck here in care without Mrs F or the kids, I'd have to go back to the UK.  How that could happen, I don't know.  One has to be well enough to travel and one has to have someone to help on departure and arrival.   

It is terrible, people work all their lives and in the end the gov. always has a way to take back whatever savings they may of collected.

Have to be super wealthy or poor to get any real help.

I experienced crashing and burning with my health really fast just over 2 years ago.

If you find yourself in a different country or away from home, anything could happen and you could get stuck.

I was allergic to some medication that was given to me and I just about went out for the count without much warning it was going to happen. Had a blood test and was told you are going into hospital today.

I was put in isolation and not allowed to leave my room, fear of others infecting me during covid times, plus my white blood count was very low, infections or sepsis could of gotten me at any time.

I actually excepted it all and that is the only way one can get through difficult issues.

Out of my control, give it up to God.

So finding ones self in a care home here could happen if plans are not in place to have another option.

Our HU friend put his elderly mom into a home just a block or so away from us. This was 15 years ago or so.

Not a good place, just a holding center for the living dead from what he told us.

IDK what the anser is.

My now deceased brohter had a good job and really took great care of both of his in laws in their elderly years.

It was his first wives parents. He paid for most of their care home costs himself with them putting in a small portion of their SS money.

He paid for their funerals too. I remember the home, I visited his MIL once. A sweet tiny little black lady in his late 80s. Met her at their wedding and then visited her before she passed away.

It is not cheap for sure.

Paying out of pocket though does provide a bit of a higher standard in care in these places .His MIL has a private room and nice nursing staff. Of course they visited all the time to make sure they were giving him what he paid for. He also took good care of his FIL who passed first.

It was a huge  thing my brother did for them , not everyone can afford to be so kind.

The thing is usually when it gets that bad, it is not for very long. Less then a year or so most times.

I was going to move my mother into our extra room in our house if she ever got out of hospital. Never happened so I can not say how hard it would really be to move an elderly parent into your home and care for them yourself.

My cousin rented a hospital bed for her mother who had breast cancer that turned into bone cancer.

She was not able to get out of bed at all. My cousin took classes on how to care for her mom at home. The gov. sent a nurse to check in a few times per week. My cousin learning how to give drugs through a needle and kept hard drugs in her fridge, all legal and controlled.

In the US the gov also pays relations to care for family at home if they chose to do so. Not much, like min .wage but most people who do this are not in it for the money anyways.

Big thing to think over, not easy.

Let us know how it goes.

    It is terrible, people work all their lives and in the end the gov. always has a way to take back whatever savings they may of collected.Have to be super wealthy or poor to get any real help.I experienced crashing and burning with my health really fast just over 2 years ago.If you find yourself in a different country or away from home, anything could happen and you could get stuck.I was allergic to some medication that was given to me and I just about went out for the count without much warning it was going to happen. Had a blood test and was told you are going into hospital today.I was put in isolation and not allowed to leave my room, fear of others infecting me during covid times, plus my white blood count was very low, infections or sepsis could of gotten me at any time.I actually excepted it all and that is the only way one can get through difficult issues.Out of my control, give it up to God.So finding ones self in a care home here could happen if plans are not in place to have another option.Our HU friend put his elderly mom into a home just a block or so away from us. This was 15 years ago or so.Not a good place, just a holding center for the living dead from what he told us.IDK what the anser is.My now deceased brohter had a good job and really took great care of both of his in laws in their elderly years.It was his first wives parents. He paid for most of their care home costs himself with them putting in a small portion of their SS money.He paid for their funerals too. I remember the home, I visited his MIL once. A sweet tiny little black lady in his late 80s. Met her at their wedding and then visited her before she passed away.It is not cheap for sure.Paying out of pocket though does provide a bit of a higher standard in care in these places .His MIL has a private room and nice nursing staff. Of course they visited all the time to make sure they were giving him what he paid for. He also took good care of his FIL who passed first.It was a huge  thing my brother did for them , not everyone can afford to be so kind.The thing is usually when it gets that bad, it is not for very long. Less then a year or so most times.I was going to move my mother into our extra room in our house if she ever got out of hospital. Never happened so I can not say how hard it would really be to move an elderly parent into your home and care for them yourself.My cousin rented a hospital bed for her mother who had breast cancer that turned into bone cancer.She was not able to get out of bed at all. My cousin took classes on how to care for her mom at home. The gov. sent a nurse to check in a few times per week. My cousin learning how to give drugs through a needle and kept hard drugs in her fridge, all legal and controlled.In the US the gov also pays relations to care for family at home if they chose to do so. Not much, like min .wage but most people who do this are not in it for the money anyways.Big thing to think over, not easy.Let us know how it goes.        -@Marilyn Tassy

Indeed, getting old or sick without people or money isn't a lot of fun. 

When my brother was dying from his brain tumour,  his family flew him by private air ambulance from his home in Portugal to the UK (he had money).   They were unable to help in Portugal - medical skills needed that were beyond their capabilities. 

Once back in his UK house, he was in the government system aka NHS (National Health Service).  NHS costs nothing.   They brought him a hospital bed which they set up in his living room. He had an NHS nurse come by once a day.   It was terminal care, so it was pain control.  Rest of the time, the family looked after him.  When it was closer to the end, he was moved to a hospice where he eventually passed away.  It was never going to be nice but he was in much better circumstances than others. 

My MIL lives in pretty rubbish circumstances.  She has a large house and garden but it's not maintained.  It's really decrepit inside and outside and needs a totally revamp.  It's just not suitable for a disabled person.  She cannot walk properly and tackle stairs on her own - there are steps down from the house to the garden.  It's like being trapped.   

I am thinking about suggesting finding a second hand hospital bed for my MIL. It should be easier to look after her but she could fall out.

Mrs F and her relatives are in charge. I can only say that it needs improvement.  Either they don't know what to do or think the situation is not as bad is it looks. 

I hope I'm an objective observer. I observed my father go into a decline, more first hand than others, so recent experience.

It would be nice if the gov. supported families who wished to do home care.

In the past it was normal to care for people at home.

No gov. support however.

My mothers mom was only in her mid 40 when she was terminal.

Went down mentally because of her illness.

They had to chain her to her bed otherwise she would walk outside etc.

The gov. had no support system in place to help, it was left to families to find the means to pay for doctors and care.

My mother was only 11 when her mom got ill and 13 when she passed away.

Not much a little girl could do but watch and cry.

It was in the 1930s in the US.

No sort of social welfare system in place. Mom missed days and days of school to help around the house doing things her mother normally would of done.

When her mother died, mom had one year more of schooling and then her grandmother told her she had to find a job and support herself and her younger sister.

Growing up so hard, my mother always told us to only rely on ourselves in life and that no one really cares if they are not directly effected.

Mom buried her young husband had major surgery and buried another family friend all within 2 weeks time. She never let anyone see her scream. Most people would have a breakdown with so much coming down at once.

My son says in Japan their system is much better then many western countries.

If someone is ill they admit them into hospital until all their treatments are finished and they give aftercare and support.

There is another option. People can rely on their own strength rather than a govt entity by creating a Cooperative of 'tiny homes' for over fifties. As people were to fall into extra need ... then 'pooled' funds and familiar faces in a tiny community (12 - 15) homes around could quell these stark realities. Once a person purchases a home in the community that would go forward to another person when they are no longer with us. For example...the tiny home owner would not be able to put it in their Will to sell and distribute to young family members. Any excess funds would get pooled back to the community for maintenance of the area but moreso for private nursing staff or medical care if and when that were required down the road. If funds are 'ample' then even regular meals could be provided in a multi-purpose building on the grounds. The options are there...getting people to cooperate is another thing altogether.

    There is another option. People can rely on their own strength rather than a govt entity by creating a Cooperative of 'tiny homes' for over fifties. As people were to fall into extra need ... then 'pooled' funds and familiar faces in a tiny community (12 - 15) homes around could quell these stark realities. Once a person purchases a home in the community that would go forward to another person when they are no longer with us. For example...the tiny home owner would not be able to put it in their Will to sell and distribute to young family members. Any excess funds would get pooled back to the community for maintenance of the area but moreso for private nursing staff or medical care if and when that were required down the road. If funds are 'ample' then even regular meals could be provided in a multi-purpose building on the grounds. The options are there...getting people to cooperate is another thing altogether.
   

    -@Faeth

I've heard of those kinds of places.   It's a kind of cooperative.

They seem a good idea but most retirement places end up with turnover so you never know about the stability of the population. 

But it could work well with the right mix. 

Here, we've seen places in homes where they take 80% of the pension and the resident keeps 20% as pocket money.   Some of these are pretty large operations - 100s of people.   It could be easy to become anonymously submerged into the population.

Sounds like commune living.

Problem I can think of is finding like minded people and not having the place turn into a cult.

Makes me think of Hare Krishna or worst case, Manson family or People Temple members.

On Maui in the mid 1970s we shopped at a Hari Krishna organic store, they grew food and sold it to support their group.

Nice enough people but I only saw the surface.

I grew up in Simi, we had so many crazy cults there that it seems it could not be true. Manson Family and the Blackburn family to name a few.

Not going to get into the other Ca. cult that moved to Hawaii. The Source Family.

Yes, they pooled their resources and only the top dogs benefited in the end.

Can you really trust people in large groups to not have self interest at heart when you are venerable in old age. Most people can hardly trust their own fmailies let alone strangers.

    Sounds like commune living.
Problem I can think of is finding like minded people and not having the place turn into a cult.
Makes me think of Hare Krishna or worst case, Manson family or People Temple members.
On Maui in the mid 1970s we shopped at a Hari Krishna organic store, they grew food and sold it to support their group.
Nice enough people but I only saw the surface.
I grew up in Simi, we had so many crazy cults there that it seems it could not be true. Manson Family and the Blackburn family to name a few.
Not going to get into the other Ca. cult that moved to Hawaii. The Source Family.
Yes, they pooled their resources and only the top dogs benefited in the end.
Can you really trust people in large groups to not have self interest at heart when you are venerable in old age. Most people can hardly trust their own families let alone strangers.
   

    -@Marilyn Tassy

Cults are everywhere.  North Koreans, Russia, Iran, even Hungary, the USA and UK.   

Makes you wonder about the nature of human beings being so utterly gullible.   

Those communes will have to have a strong legal framework/contract otherwise it could easily fall apart. 

My parents lived in retirement living until they passed.  It was a thing that no-one ever admitted it was "God's waiting room".    Lifespan in that place was about 10 years.