Relocating with a High School age daughter

Have you asked your daughter what she wants?

         Why the Philippines?  Who and where is her mother?  Do you intend, are you required to work in the Philippines?

In answer @Gezzar, of course I asked my Daughter what she wants. as expected, she thinks it is a great idea, what 15yr old wouldn't. But she is hesitant of not being able to speak Tagalog and whether she could still maintain her education standards. She is a Straight A student currently deciding on what she wants to study at Uni when she finishes high school.

@mugteck, I am a 64yr old self-funded retiree, so I do not need or intend to work. As far as who her mother is, she is Thai and no longer part of our family. As for why the PI, Aus is far too expensive, and Thailand is not an option due to Visas and uncertain tax rules. I have spent considerable time in the PI albeit over 30yrs ago and like the place.

    @mugteck, I am a 64yr old self-funded retiree, so I do not need or intend to work. As far as who her mother is, she is Thai and no longer part of our family. As for why the PI, Aus is far too expensive, and Thailand is not an option due to Visas and uncertain tax rules. I have spent considerable time in the PI albeit over 30yrs ago and like the place.        -@Brett Funnell

I understand the looming problems for expats in Thailand, there are others on here who are now making the Philippines their second choice.  Thought you might be younger than 64 with a 15 year old daughter and I can understand your desire to NOT retire in the land down under, with their overly socialistic retirement system.  Best of luck, have you considered where you would like to live?

Brett said. . . .  I am a single dad, wanting to move to the PI, and am looking at Iloilo or somewhere in the Visayas, My question is, how hard would it be for my 15yr old daughter to assimilate into a school.

************************

(1) Your daughter is in no position to decide on this move.

(2) Your obligation as a father is to do what's best for your daughter, not for yourself.

(3) Wait till your daughter has completed her education (maybe college) and is an independent adult.

(4) Then do what you want.

@mugteck , I am looking at the Visayas, somewhere like Iloilo although we plan on doing 2 or three trips to look around and get a better feel for different areas.

@Enzyte Bob   

Regardless of what you may think, some people make decisions which are founded on a number of factors, not simply a desire to run away to a fairytale land of honey as depicted by vloggers. Not that I need take advice on what is best for my daughter from you, however, she is and always will be my first priority. Which is exactly why I am looking to move offshore. As for whose decision it is, it will be a joint one, based on what we decide.

Welcome to the forum Brett, hope some here can help with your needs and I'm sure you and your daughter will enjoy the change from Oz, I certainly do.

Only an observation but you don't want to be too far from a decent school, perhaps that will dictate where you eventually settle.

Just google international and private schools in Visayas, decent ones have a web site as well as feedback on FB.

Good luck and enjoy.

Cheers, Steve.

    Brett said. . . .  I am a single dad, wanting to move to the PI, and am looking at Iloilo or somewhere in the Visayas, My question is, how hard would it be for my 15yr old daughter to assimilate into a school.************************(1) Your daughter is in no position to decide on this move.(2) Your obligation as a father is to do what's best for your daughter, not for yourself.(3) Wait till your daughter has completed her education (maybe college) and is an independent adult.(4) Then do what you want.        -@Enzyte Bob

I must agree Bob, we have 2 Fil Am kids and we had to go through that same thought process. The result was, rather than retire at age 55 and send our kids to high school and University here, it became obvious that finishing  high school in the US and getting their degrees from NCSU was far superior. I also detected with my kids that, although at first they thought it would be cool to move and go to school here, I think as they got slightly older they would have preferred the US but they didn't say much. Why? Because the USA IS for young people. It is for their social life with English speaking friends and US culture with all its benefits. They (for sure) compared the difference in standard of living and just thought that "home" was a more beautiful and desirable place. I know that's what I would have thought. So, I continued working until age 67 when the second one got her degree. No student loans. Now they each are making money, more than me lol and there is no question that we made the right decision. Educate them in the US if at all possible. They are not culturally invested in the Philippines like expats are, they are 100% Americans. IF/when they decide they want to move here later on, they have a places stay. That is their decision.

Many sides to the coin Dan and yours and Bobs input make sense but you have to remember is the OP is 64 now and if they stay in Oz until his daughter gets a degree then he would be in his early 70's and then difficult to start over.

I'm sure Brett has given this plenty of thought and as he says has his reasons/choice.

There are plenty of good international schools here in PH but they are not cheap and I'm sure decent housing/condo close by will be expensive also.

I think the English thing is a misnomer as most I meet have a good grasp of the language, our labourers and masons here through the 18 month build were opposite and my better half was the translator every day,,,,, low education. Still great workers.

I would only suggest that Brett gets the priorities right and put all the ducks in a row and I'm sure he and his daughter will enjoy life here. We all do.

Cheers, Steve.

@bigpearl  Thanks for the advice Steve, one of the main reasons for selecting the Visayas Region was quality schools.

    Many sides to the coin Dan and yours and Bobs input make sense but you have to remember is the OP is 64 now and if they stay in Oz until his daughter gets a degree then he would be in his early 70's and then difficult to start over.I'm sure Brett has given this plenty of thought and as he says has his reasons/choice.There are plenty of good international schools here in PH but they are not cheap and I'm sure decent housing/condo close by will be expensive also.I think the English thing is a misnomer as most I meet have a good grasp of the language, our labourers and masons here through the 18 month build were opposite and my better half was the translator every day,,,,, low education. Still great workers.I would only suggest that Brett gets the priorities right and put all the ducks in a row and I'm sure he and his daughter will enjoy life here. We all do.Cheers, Steve.     

  -Yes, Steve there are many considerations. Hence why I am on this forum seeking feedback.  I have considered waiting until my daughter graduates high school and then move, which may be the eventual option. Unfortunately, the cost of accommodation in Aus. (Renting = average property @ $700 / week, will account for the equivalent of over 1.7m peso a year ($44k Aus.) That is without living expenses, so I am also very mindful of finances and quality of life for us both.

Brett, I was going to retire in Australia as we owned everything and had a good nest egg with savings and superannuation, Filipino better half working in Oz also and we would fly here 2 times a year to visit family and friends, I realized in the end that my very estranged family I never saw, even my kids, few friends and knew the better half was happier in the Philippines, decided on a move and spent 3 years looking at properties with our visits and online and eventually secured what we wanted.

That was 7 years ago and we moved here from Oz 5 years ago and not looked back, much cheaper life than Oz by 2 to 3 times, we own everything and live extremely comfortably for around P100K per month and that includes a live in caretaker,,,,, I think planning is a key issue. Weigh up the cost differences of starting again, I have a partner and have been knocking around here for over 13 years. The choice for us was easy.

For you and your daughter you need to plan and research big time as moving countries is not like going on a holiday.

1/ Research and find the costs of a good international school that you are both happy with, you may be in for a shock when you see the cost of a good schools.

2/ Research and find the cost/proximity and services in the area for accommodation, public transport or will you need to buy a car? Consider the cost to furnish where you live. Initial outlay for every thing.

Ramble on I could but I'm sure you have been looking into this for some time, we are lucky as my kids are in their early 30's, the kids here are 2 Labrador's.

Good luck.

Cheers, Steve. 

I have a Coworker who brought his 16 year old daughter from US to Phils for a month.

On week Two she was Crying to go back home. Never wanted to visit here again.

I suggest before taking the big leap, to visit here for a month or so. Then decide based on that experience.

    I have a Coworker who brought his 16 year old daughter from US to Phils for a month.
On week Two she was Crying to go back home. Never wanted to visit here again.
I suggest before taking the big leap, to visit here for a month or so. Then decide based on that experience.
   

    -@vehicross100

Yes it can be an acquired taste for the uninitiated and while Brett has spent time here I believe it's only fair as you say to let her at such a young age to taste the flavours and culture before a final decision.

Good point.

Cheers, Steve.

It's a decision many of us faced similar one way or another.

Many years ago I was living in the Chicago suburbs and was offered a sales management position (same company) if I moved to Pittsburgh, PA.

My children 11 & 13 were excited but perplexed about losing their friends they grew up with. I was offered the promotion three months prior to moving day. Pre internet days so I took out a prescription of Pittsburgh newspapers. I got to know neighborhood housing, schools and central location for my base of operations.

Your daughter being 15 must have many friends, at that age some of the friendships may last a lifetime, so there will be a disconnect. I'm still friends with some of my teenage buddies some 50 years later.

I don't think the education your daughter will receive can match the Australian school system. Also if things go right for her in the Philippines and she learns conversational local language, there is still her future to consider, a first world future is heads above a third world future.

Steve said:

Many sides to the coin Dan and yours and Bobs input make sense but you have to remember is the OP is 64 now and if they stay in Oz until his daughter gets a degree then he would be in his early 70's and then difficult to start over.

I think his age of 64yo is not relevant, the 15 yo child comes first in priority. My kids came late too, not that late but still, we couldn't retire early and had to wait until age 68. I just cannot change my belief that the child is better off living in Australia at least until colege graduation. International schools are mainly aimed at foreigners living in the country under short term assignment from international corporations.

I'm sure Brett has given this plenty of thought and as he says has his reasons/choice.
There are plenty of good international schools here in PH but they are not cheap and I'm sure decent housing/condo close by will be expensive also.

All very true.

I think the English thing is a misnomer as most I meet have a good grasp of the language, our labourers and masons here through the 18 month build were opposite and my better half was the translator every day,,,,, low education. Still great workers.

A friend of mine here brought his son from his 1st marriage to Dumaguete and he went to Silliman High School, a part of Silliman University (a very good English speaking US accredited protestant umiversity). The language at that school is, by strict directive, English only. I have been on the campus where there are signs saying "English only". Of course the son originally spoke English only. The reality is that Filipino kids speak bisaya amongst themselves even at Silliman. The kid was bullied and made fun of for not speaking bisaya; imagine what that must be like. Eventually his only defense was to learn bisaya but it took 4 years to become fluent enough. Kids here pick on other kids who don't know the language; it is so easy to make fun of them. And that's the way kids are to each other, nasty.

I would only suggest that Brett gets the priorities right and put all the ducks in a row and I'm sure he and his daughter will enjoy life here. We all do.

Cheers,

We think he was asking for our advise and in my case I gave it, free of charge as always 😂

Appreciate what you and other members say Dan,,,, We know the OP is retired but not sure why, health, laid off and can't find another job and is now supporting himself and daughter on his retirement funds and we have no idea what they are and if he qualifies for an aged pension that won't kick in until he is 67 and really is  a slap in the face what they pay after working all your life. Perhaps he is budgeting to get the most out of his retirement funds to finish raising his daughter the best way he can, we don't know nor need to know budgets but rent and a private school here will easily eat up what he pays in rent in Oz.

It's not an easy job to be a single dad, My dad raised 4 of us as my mother walked out for another man when I was7. He did a good job as we are all successful and none landed in jail.

The best thing I heard mentioned was to come for a holiday if it can be afforded and give the daughter a taste of life here.

Cheers, Steve. 

Many great points made on all sides, all I would add is that in my opinion Dumaguete has the best schools in the Visayas. Silliman is great and Don Bosco where one of our boys is, is excellent also. It has been a good influence on him, but to Dan's point, not knowing how to speak Cebuano (Bisaya) could be problematic.

Or an exciting challenge to integrate and know the local school mates, her piers will enjoy the challenge also as they will learn also.

I think one of the wisest things mentioned was to holiday here and give the daughter a taste of life and culture here. I love traveling to different countries and it gives plenty of different perspectives.

PNW, if it's ok to ask for the OP/s and members references what are the costs? As well as decent accommodation nearby, will help the OP weigh up his outlays moving to the Philippines.

Cheers, Steve.

@bigpearl

Good idea about costs. We pay 60K php per school year for the 16 yo in Don Bosco High School. He is half Filipino, so the rate is less than for a non-Filipino,. I didn't realize this until just now but my partner explained it to me (I had wondered why they wanted to see his Filipino passport before they would enroll him.)

Silliman is roughly the same cost and has a similar policy on Filipino tuition price. Of course there are some book costs and other things like special events that add a little. An entry exam will have to be taken of course.

We chose Don Bosco because it is closer to where we live in Valencia as well as they were much more responsive when we moved into the area in June/July and needed to find a school for him on fairly short notice. Turns out he really likes it and has excelled in all areas including sports.

Our other Filipino son is not academically inclined so is in a private Catholic high school in Valencia for now and it is quite inexpensive - about 35K/year for books and tuition. He seems to be doing fine also, and might be able to get into Don Bosco next year. It does require some diligence.

Thanks PNW.

That's really affordable and sounds like both the boys are doing fine, thanks for sharing and I'm sure between the school and your and your partners wisdom will go far in life.

What about apartments/condos there, just trying to help the OP Brett to gain an insight on costs and if suitable, Living costs for food and service in Dumaguete will help also. As you well know it's a big transition from one country to another.

Thanks PNW.

Cheers, Steve.

Thank you all for the responses, Rest assured I am certainly not taking the decision to move without extensive research and as I stated we intend on doing a few trips prior to making any call one way or the other.

As it stands, we may well decide to stay in Aus. until my daughter completes year 12 and then revisit our options.

Steve, in answer to your question although I note it wasn't actually yours, I am retired simply because of two reasons, firstly I am finding it increasingly difficult to obtain full time employment, as I can't work FIFO and my age and qualifications make me unsuitable for most roles locally. I keep getting the, you are way over qualified.....answer. Which basically means I am too old.

The second reason, is financial, in order to cover the separation etc, I had to move into pension phase to liquidate and access my SMSF to pay out the ex.

My financial guru's advise that I can actually cover about $4-5k Aus. a month without touching my capital savings, and increasing to $6k when I get to 67yrs. hence why I was considering O/S as I will have trouble living in Aus at a similar standard to what that would allow O/S. The capital providing both the funds to enable retirement and provide my daughter with a substantial nest egg when my parking meter on this planet expires.

And yes, I have lived in Malaysia, Thailand and the PI previously.

Thanks for your honesty Brett. Totally understand. the excuse that you are over qualified can also be attributed to being a threat to someone else's position in the future, some things we have to take on the chin.

Given the costs that PNW furnished and your monthly income it's very achievable.

Sounds like you are doing your homework so I suppose the next thing is to book a holiday with your daughter and see what she thinks, like it or love it is an individual choice.

Good luck.

Cheers, Steve.

By the way Steve, you picked a nice area to live my friend, we used to spend quite a bit of time at Coconut Grove on Bauang Beach, Pagdalagan Sur, back in the day.

I believe it is just South of Bacnotan although I never made it that far north.

Cheers Brett