Cultural difference or just crazy?

         Welcome Peter.  How old is she?  How old are you?  Are you retired?  No divorces available in the Philippines unless you were married in a Muslim. Wedding.  Does she know of your 3 divorces?  You can expect no one to be thrilled with your divorces. How did this correspondence start?  All kinds of manipulators available in the Philippines.

@peterahern1

Recently she divulged she had panties in my favorite color

Well one thing is for sure. You certainly didn’t meet her on ‘ ChristianFilipina.com’

Lotus Eater said. . . .Recently she divulged she had panties in my favorite color
Well one thing is for sure. You certainly didn’t meet her on ‘ ChristianFilipina.com’

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Queen . . . .

Another one bites the dust

@Lotus Eater

Ya think?

         Peter:  Please tell us more.  Have you ever been to the Philippines?  Where do you intend to go in the Philippines in January?  What is your favorite color?  We can help you, but you need to tell us about your plans.

    Welcome Peter. How old is she? How old are you? Are you retired? No divorces available in the Philippines unless you were married in a Muslim. Wedding. Does she know of your 3 divorces? You can expect no one to be thrilled with your divorces. How did this correspondence start? All kinds of manipulators available in the Philippines. - @mugtech

I'm 72, she's 45. She's never been married nor does she have children.

I'm aware of the lack of divorce in the Philippines, also about how adultery with a married woman is frowned upon. Adultery of that sort has never been one of my failings, I despise cheaters. She knows of the 3 divorces.

All tales of my tawdry love life aside, we met on a dating app several weeks ago and have been chatting on a daily basis since then. Dating apps are a way to weed out undesirable prospects, they're good for a glorified penpal relationship until actually meeting in person. That's when the rubber hits the road.

I'm wondering about the depth of drama shown by her over my casual acceptance of the color of her skivvies. I hear from many sources that Filipinas are drama queens. But this went on for a couple of hours. How much can be attributed to nurture and how much to nature?

"Crazy" doesn't bother me unless it's homicidal. But it's good to know the lay of the land beforehand.

So, what's your opinion? Cultural difference, just nuts or a combination of both?

@mugtech

I've heard a lot about the Philippines during my naval career, some time ago I decided to shake things up and move overseas. The top two candidates were Thailand and the Philippines. Going south of Dumaguete to Zamboanguita when I arrive. Looking to settle in a bit before making any long term plans. I have a Plan B if things don't work out. Blue is the color.

        Realize your age difference figures into the equation.  Did you ever date a woman 27 years younger than you in Texas?  While the age difference is not unusual for a Westerner and a Filipina it has a lot of built in potential problems.  Your source(dating apps) is a place where many Westerners are considered a walking ATM.  She probably expects overly romantic reactions to anything about her.  Many guys choose to get to know several girls before arrival, not making any types of commitments until you get a feel for being with them.  Some Filipinas will tell you that they had to bring a chaperone along and then expect you to buy dinner for several family members.

           I take it you will be staying in a hotel, have you decided where?  Do you have any prior experience in the Philippines?  Next month will soon be here.

@mugtech
I've heard a lot about the Philippines during my naval career, some time ago I decided to shake things up and move overseas. The top two candidates were Thailand and the Philippines. Going south of Dumaguete to Zamboanguita when I arrive. Looking to settle in a bit before making any long term plans. I have a Plan B if things don't work out. Blue is the color. - @peterahern1

You probably made the better choice, heard it is getting more difficult for expats in Thailand.  Sorry I cannot help you at all with your Philippines destinations, but there are people on here know a lot about Dumaguete.  Blue is a Dallas Cowboys color, but it is also my favorite color because of my favorite band, the Moody Blues.

@peterahern1

But some things make no sense at all. Recently she divulged she had panties in my favorite color. Telling her that was nice evidently wasn't a good answer. She pouted online for about an hour, then we moved on.

You must have discussed panty colors with her  before, given that she knew your favorite panty color. From that she surmized that you were a Normal male who wanted to get into her pants.

What I think is that your response "nice" ws a bit too attenuated. She probably expected a more excited reaction such as "Wow! Sexy, can you put them on while I watch and let me see how they look?"

But no, instead you just said "nice". Truly a let down.

You probably disappointed her into thinking you were a beta after she essentially invited you to have a form of internet exhibitionism with her.

It is still salvageable.

You know what you need to do 😆

danfinn said . . . . You must have discussed panty colors with her before, given that she knew your favorite panty color. From that she surmized that you were a Normal male who wanted to get into her pants.

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I bet she was thinking about Ube edible gummy panties.

These things happen but I would not let the panty incident put you off her since you are moving to the Philippines. I have found over the last few years that what you see online can be different to what happens when you get there. I visited 2 ladies who were OFW's when we started chatting online. The first liked to talk dirty, she initiated it and told me exactly what she would do to me in the bedroom. When I saw her in person she was shy and under the control of her Grandmother. I was told by the grandmother that a chaperone would be with us every minute we were together, so no time alone at all. She also expected me to look after the family financially so the woman did not have to return to Saudi. I of course refused these terms and bailed out.

The second woman also working in Saudi was sweet. We chatted and video called for about 10 months. On one particular video call, she was preparing food with her co-workers when somebody said something funny and another lady with a mouthful of coffee laughed and spat out the coffee on my girl. My girl said she was going to take a shower and change clothes and invited me to stay online while she did so. I agreed just expecting to see the side of the bathroom while she showered but instead saw my girl naked showering and then towelling off before getting dressed. I did comment that she had an amazing body and looked sexy and she was pleased. This was a one off for her. I met her some months later in the Philippines and we had a lovely romantic time together.

So I say just give this woman a chance, meet her and see what happens. You will be there anyway so if things go south, move on. Like somebody commented above though, you do need to sort out where you will stay with her. Maybe her place, one room in a hotel, maybe she wants one room with 2 beds, who knows but just give it a go and be prepared for anything,

@peterahern1

Adultery of that sort has never been one of my failings, I despise cheaters. She knows of the 3 divorces

That suggests that your three x’s left you for another (more interesting?) guy?

Dating apps are a way to weed out undesirable prospects, they're good for a glorified penpal relationship until actually meeting in person. That's when the rubber hits the road.

Glad to know that you will be wearing a raincoat given that she (if she is female) sounds like a bar girl.

I have a Plan B if things don't work out

There is a club on Burgos St (opposite Bob’s favourite restaurant The Filling Station) called Plan (Cherry Anne is stifling a laugh) B.

I would say, red panties, red flag. If your lack of response gets her down, then imagine day to day living walking on egg shells just to please her. She seems to lact the communication skills to say that she thought it would excite you. And then follow up with, what does excite you. Or at least move on to another topic. Instead she mopes. Hopefully things work out well for you, and you find your happiness there.

@Lotus Eater

Nope for the first two exes. #1 was homicidal, I have the knife scars to prove it. I initiated the divorce. The last I heard, she's locked up with no chance of being let out.

#2 just wanted her version of a perfect life. Gave me a kick to the kerb 37 years ago and last I heard, she was still looking.

#3 lasted twenty years, then her midlife crisis hit (22 years my junior, I suppose she qualified as mine). Her true love turned out to be a felon who offed himself the day he was to begin 15 years as a guest at Club Fed. The Feds don't give time off for good behavior, so it would have been a solid 15.

Karma is a thing, my exes are miserable and I keep on keeping on. Sometimes I pray for them.

Not a bar girl. I know bar girls from 22 years in the USN. This one is a rice farmer, our daily video chats (proof she is female) are always done to the sound of the roosters, pigs, dog and her family shouting to each other. Yesterday I was treated to a cooking lesson on a wood fire. She's a province girl from Jump Street. So yeah, just a bit out of my own experience.

@peterahern1

Only been conversing for several weeks with her and already the drama?  Hmmmm.  I know many Filipinas are very quick to fall "head over heels" with a foreigner they meet online, so that isn't too uncommon.  Like you, I've been divorced more than once and have a strong BS filter for women - especially ones who are love-struck after only chatting for a couple of weeks.  Instant red flag for me.  Others can certainly disagree.  Just watch yourself.

I had an ongoing (almost daily) LINE video chat with a Filipina for a year (exactly) before hopping on a plane to meet her a couple of months ago.  Having never been to the Philippines before, I had to not only come up-to-speed with the culture there (customs, food, etc) but also acclimate myself to my Filipina.  We decided to stay at a hotel in Davao for a few days to get to know one another first before heading to her place in Mati for another week.  I had a wonderful time and doing all those things really paid off.  Her family is great and none of them ever asked me for money or to pay for anything.  I plan to go back and see her again in a few months for a little longer stay (3-4 weeks).  If things continue to go well, I'll be moving there in early 2026 (I have some business here in the states that won't be completed until the end of 2025, or I'd be going sooner).

If it were me, I'd take more time to get to know her over video chat, but to each their own.  It's good you have a Plan B at least.  Best of luck to you and let us know how it goes!

BTW, where in Texas are you?  I'm outside of San Antonio.

@mugtech

The Moody Blues? Great band, loved 'em. I'm originally from New York so the Cowboys don't do a thing for me.

Thailand will be Plan B if needed. If that doesn't work, something else will. These days I'm grateful to wake up every morning.

What is the description of a Filipina Bimbo?

@mati_steve

Thanks for your input. The video chats are a daily thing, so that's a plus I think. When we meet is when I see what's what. I'm outside Dallas, in the city of McKinney.

Lotus Eater said. . . .There is a club on Burgos St (opposite Bob’s favourite restaurant The Filling Station) called Plan (Cherry Anne is stifling a laugh) B.

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A nice place to pick up a Filipina Midget Wrestler?

@Cherryann01

Thanks for the advice. When all is said and done, just how crazy can it get?

@mugtech
The Moody Blues? Great band, loved 'em. I'm originally from New York so the Cowboys don't do a thing for me.
Thailand will be Plan B if needed. If that doesn't work, something else will. These days I'm grateful to wake up every morning. - @peterahern1

          Saw the Moody Blues play for the first time with a symphony orchestra in 1993 in Radio City Music Hall.  Glad to know you are not a cowboys fan.

@peterahern1

Hello Peter... I just read your message and I would like to immediately warn you about these online loves. I am French, I have lived in the Philippines for 8 years, married to a little Filipina and I have a little boy who will soon be 4 years old. I am 60 years old and have already lived well. I know the USA well since I trained as a pilot in Texas. The Philippines is a great country to come and end your days on condition that you do not fall for scams of all kinds, starting with online dating. I will give you my email if you want more information so that you can come in good conditions. I am a tribal affairs judge and my wife and I work for the emigration service as well as the region concerning property acquisitions with a group of lawyers. Do not hesitate if you have any questions. We are on the island of Mindanao near Cagayan. You can always refer to the forum, there are mixed opinions. In the meantime, here is.***

she is 45 and single, my wife was 40 and single

dont take things too seriously, it isnt the the culture so much as the language

the interpretation of language cause the most problems

just go and see her, my wife used to say all sorts of things [ still does] of which her interpretation  of english  was far different

most times they get upset at themselves, they are very shy and afraid of making mistakes

you see meeting a filipno is not about you, you have to try to understand her and not be ruled by your interpretations

@Agg Coolabah

Thanks for the advice. I keep reminding myself that I'm dealing with a different culture, different values, the language may be the same but the understanding can be drastically different. Having that reinforced by conversations on this site is a good thing.

What is the description of a Filipina Bimbo? - @Enzyte Bob

Filipina's that will go out on a date without wearing panties regardless of the colour

Lotus Eater said. . . .There is a club on Burgos St (opposite Bob’s favourite restaurant The Filling Station) called Plan (Cherry Anne is stifling a laugh) B.
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A nice place to pick up a Filipina Midget Wrestler? - @Enzyte Bob

Sadly the Midget wrestling venue just around the corner on Kalayaan Ave is no more. Closed its doors during covid I recall. Only in the Philippines.

@Lotus Eater

i would call them Filipina Fantastics! No panties every guys dream! Lol

@Lotus Eater
i would call them Filipina Fantastics! No panties every guys dream! Lol - @Morgacj200424

Just to add a rider to that Morg.

A few years ago I was dating a Filipina from Surigao ( no not that posers ‘paradise’ Siargao).

On one visit I flew her up to Manila for a few days as she had never visited her capital city . We had a great time dining in the Greenbelt area and seeing the sights. A conservative gal but a looker.

We flew down to Dumaguete and checked in to one of my favourite dive resorts Thalatta in Dauin.

One evening before dinner ( cannot remember the context of the conversation) I suggested she not wear panties to dine as it was quite humid. She blushed. Nothing more was said.

Later that evening I was half way through my sole meunière and Bernaditte said ‘ Lotus I’ve taken your advice ‘with a cheeky smile. This was confirmed.

I’m no sex guru but have always said that 50% of good sex is psychological.

That night in bed was and still is unforgettable.

Why not use the traffic light system with panties. Green obviously means go, red stop and amber, prepare to move

Why not use the traffic light system with panties. Green obviously means go, red stop and amber, prepare to move - @Cherryann01

And none at all means a totally uncontrolled intersection.

To the OP. Welcome to the forum Peter, enjoy.

I was going to stay out of this thread, some interesting responses especially the midget wrestling.

A few things kept gnawing in my thoughts so here goes.

Have you ever been to the Philippines before? If so great, if not I would suggest spending a month or 6 lurking around here before any thought of moving here.

Your topic "cultural or crazy" can be attributed to any country and while many here love it many go home or pick another country to try. The Philippines is an acquired taste and deserves appreciation for all it's pro's and cons.

Good luck and don't rush anything when it comes to the Philippines,,,,,, especially a move.

Cheers, Steve.

@bigpearl

Thanks Steve, I've never been to the Philippines. While it may be best to dip my toe in the water before doing a cannonball into the deep end of the pool, that isn't how I roll. Half measures don't work for me, it's all or nothing.

Seriously, what's the worst that could happen? I discover I can't adapt? I've already got a Plan B in place for that eventuality.

peterahern1 said to bigpearl . . . .  Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?

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A fourth divorce

peterahern1 said to bigpearl . . . . Seriously, what's the worst that could happen?
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A fourth divorce - @Enzyte Bob

    A divorce in the Philippines?  I would not guess Peter was a Muslim.

@bigpearl
Thanks Steve, I've never been to the Philippines. While it may be best to dip my toe in the water before doing a cannonball into the deep end of the pool, that isn't how I roll. Half measures don't work for me, it's all or nothing.
Seriously, what's the worst that could happen? I discover I can't adapt? I've already got a Plan B in place for that eventuality. - @peterahern1

Dipping your toe in the water is good advice. The worst things that can happen - jealous husband or boyfriend who tries to end your life, the odd kidnapping  where you are going, being  scammed of all your money, finding something that should not be inside your girls blue panties, just to name a few.

@Cherryann01

You're funny and obviously uninformed of my background.

Seriously, what does your answer have to do with my original question?

@Enzyte Bob

Hardly a new experience for me.

@Cherryann01
You're funny and obviously uninformed of my background.
Seriously, what does your answer have to do with my original question? - @peterahern1

You did ask what the worst is that could happen.