Tricky love situation - your thoughts?

I did want to point out that we DO seem to have some unexplainable connection. We are often laughing about the same things for the same reasons. Thinking the same thing at the same time. There's been many times that I've been typing out a text and then before I finish, I get one from her basically asking or telling the same thing. We expect the same things in a relationship, and life. We have similar goals. Everything just seems to match and much of is just things that can't be faked - based on the timing. So something quite special does seem to exist between us. I just wanted to throw that out there.

Be careful with this situation. If she asks for money, end the contact ASAP. This happend to me 4-5 years ago, seemed sweet for a few days, but at the same time seemed a little fishy, it`s hard to fall in love over the phone. And don`t send money, or any of your banking info. Beware !!

Walk away! It has desperation written all over it!

it seems you are the one who in love to her...hm...spent time alot time with her so you can be sure for everything...

Hello my name is David i am single and have talked to some like this on the internet most of them lead up to asking for money and i dont know if this what is happening in your situation but please be care ful and do not send money. 

                                        David1946

I think most of you have misunderstood what's going on. We all live here in the USA. I know her personally - not just online or via the phone. Money is not an issue for her as her abusive husband makes more money than I do.

Seems to be moving too fast... better to take it slower

Question is, do you doubt that someone could fall in love with you so quickly? If so, why?  Do you have some insecurity issues?  If a man is sincere, I can assure you that a woman can fall in love very easily and very quickly. As for falling in love twice, a woman can fall in love over and over again. It is just that she will fall out of love as soon as anything that she had believed about the one she loved is exposed to be a lie
i.e.  she believed the guy she married was a good honest guy and then he turned out to be a wife beating asshole.

If you really feel that she is sincere, then she probably is.  You just have to decide whether that decision has been reached by the big or the small head!

Hi Zander,

If you say that her husband makes more money than you do, then definitely money is not an issue for her..neither is she trying to lure money out of you.

I agree with what purplepagan has said above...a woman can fall in love over and over again...think about it, I'm sure this is not the first time YOU are falling for someone. And falling in love doesnt depend on a time lapse...you can fall in love in a month, a week, a day...!Man, i fell in love in 3 weeks...lol...and I didn't know before that a person can actually fall in love in such a short lapse of time.

Someone above said 'walk away, it's got desperation written all over'... would you be at peace with yourself knowing you walked away on someone who might be needing help, who is somehow trusting you and confiding in you.

Maybe you should start by asking her what SHE wants. Since she was the one who said she loves you (and I believe that you are falling for her too), maybe you need to know what she expects of you. Does she want you to help her get out of her marriage? Does she need you to help her go back to her home country? Does she wanna start over with you??

And besides, you might find a few things fishy but at the same time you say she seems sincere...YOU are the only one who can decide that Zander...you are the one who can trust your instincts...if your heart says she's true, then maybe she is...but just go slow...take things one at a time..analyse her and the whole situation.

One lil advice though...DO NOT RUSH. Take things slow...just to prevent you from getting hurt in case the whole thing is fake and you end up getting emotionally involved.

If it's all sincere...then buddy..you're in for happiness.

What a situation...   If I get your post right, you are both here in the USA so continued face-2-face meets may be worth your next few steps with deeper talks. 

I have a set of questions that I have used in the past to make a reasonable conclusion on what some have told me via internet chat/meetings... No need to get into the detailed question contents here but I do use the format of the "W's"

1. What?
2. Where?
3. Why?
4. When
5. Who?

you can complete the endings for each of those as you see/need....

...... at times you will also have a few "How's" that should be placed in your battery of questions.


My overall caution is on a different area than what has been posted here... You describe some features that may (...STRESSING MAY!) have a connection with her being of a borderline personality disorder (BPD) type.  Excluding any money needs, it is common knowledge that Individuals with this "dependent personality disorder" have clear needs.  The main thing you may want to evaluate here is the "need for attention & validation".  Unfortunately, many women that have been exposed to mental/physical violence have a battered self esteem as a result.

Your needs could include this realm of professional advice in addition to legal advice.

........ just like "hazzle11" said, "DO NOT RUSH. Take things slow"

Good Luck!

For what its worth, here's my advice.

If someone has a shitty life that they aren't happy with, someone else can't be the solution. She has to work her life out. I'd suggest telling her to cool off and if she's still interested she can contact you a couple of months after her divorce.

If she needs a friend, to help her get through the divorce, then you should walk away because if she does love you, you can't be that friend.

If you have feelings for her, you won't mind waiting until she straightens her life out. And if her feelings are real, she'll be able to sort herself out first and then still be interested in you.

Life is too short to get caught up in other people's crap.
And women who fall in love too easy owe it to themselves to stand on their own two feet... or who knows, she could be just as unhappy with you down the line.