this ripping my heart !!

Looking back over my life, I can see that the things I wanted weren't always the best choices.  Sometimes the things I wanted and got didn't turn out well at all!

Whatever it is is breaking your heart now ... but will you feel the same in a year? in five years?

Accept yourself for who you are--never compare yourself to others(I know it's hard).  Love yourself for who you are and move forward.

I’m trying to do it day and night , still i feel it’s not enough I’m losing thinking who can i even accept the idea of being a loser .

           I’m not just comparing , i feel like i got nothing from what i have been planning for !!? it’s like I’m living another story that not even retailed to mine originally . it’s like a nightmare every night i dream to let it go and flee away from me !!

       all i have ever wanted to have a home that i can hide in when i not well , scared or angry . i miss that kind of friends whenever I’m angry not Aiming me at once . but reconsider their self and always ask why is he like that what happened ?

       i miss someone calling me for me not for a favor !! someone just asking me how have i been ? what is going on through my life ? how did i do ?

       i miss AUS so much that its really killing me just to remember it . i feel homesick every night . isn’t that pleasant feelings .

on top of that no matter what i do !! i still know it will never be the same anymore !!?

Okay .. well, are you really Australian?  Or is it that you just lived there once?

Something I have noticed in Saudia is that it's so difficult to make *real* friends.  Everything is sooooooo superficial here.  People 'network' .. what that means is that you make 'friends' based on what people can do for you.  You even see it openly on this forum, people being advised to 'make friends' in Western compounds in order to have access to certain amenities. 

So I would say it's probably not *you* .. rather, it's this place where we're living.  It turns people into opportunists.  Blah

even you did notice that . all i can say is thanks for your comfy words . . .