" Once a cheater always a cheater" --views please

@ Allie- I will buy that.

I would like to hear from wjwoodward if he is reading this thread.

what are your views about cheating in a relationship?

do you think if a man has cheated once behind your back by engaging with other females, will always remain a cheater?

or he should be given a second chance?

I've noticed that once men cheat, they'll usually keep cheating. It's more about how they perceive their masulinity than anything else.

Conversely, with women it's usually about the specific guy they cheated with and the circumstances that led them to cheat (e.g., lack of support from their partner). If they cheated once, chances are they won't cheat again -- provided the problems that led them to cheat are fixed.

@ Cairanya : I would like to correct you. Cheating has nothing to do with gender. Because it takes two to tango! However, the percentage of men cheating on women is comparatively higher.But, I agree that once a person cheats, he/she is likely to get into the loop of cheating again.

@ sweet_cidy: I might give one chance to the other person depending upon the circumstances. But nothing beyond that.We need to understand that our emotions are not on sale and the other person isn't worth our time and caring and we need to simply move on in life.
"The ones who love you will never leave you because even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on"

then does it mean that you end up your long-term relation-ship and move on in life?

if the man cliams that he really loves his girl but at the sametime had been dating other ladies behind her back. is it enough to look at him as a cheater?

why do some men flirt around with other women and then end of the day get back to their love lady or wife???

cairanya wrote:

Conversely, with women it's usually about the specific guy they cheated with and the circumstances that led them to cheat (e.g., lack of support from their partner). If they cheated once, chances are they won't cheat again -- provided the problems that led them to cheat are fixed.

Please correct me, does this mean women has a reason To cheat while men doesn't have one ?

Popli wrote:

cairanya wrote:

Conversely, with women it's usually about the specific guy they cheated with and the circumstances that led them to cheat (e.g., lack of support from their partner). If they cheated once, chances are they won't cheat again -- provided the problems that led them to cheat are fixed.

Please correct me, does this mean women has a reason To cheat while men doesn't have one ?

No. What I'm saying is that the reasons for each gender cheating are usually quite different, at least in the West. Consequently, who they cheat with are often quite different.

The research in Western women indicates that fewer women cheat compared to men, and the women who cheat usually only cheat with one partner -- and once they're discovered, they either get a divorce and/or fix the problem and never cheat again. The TV show Nashville is a really good example of this: [******SPOILER ALERT*****] she's not running around town dating every roadie who throws himself at her; she's involved with an old boyfriend who she originally broke up with 20+ years ago because he had a drug/alcohol addiction. However, he went into rehab and is currently free of the addiction that led them to breakup. Moreover, she's emotionally involved with him because her husband has financial problems and is ignoring her about her financial wishes and doing what her father tells him to do.

However, research indicates that men who cheat almost always cheat again. Why? They cheat because they feel it makes them more "manly." Consequently, they'll often cheat with whoever they can -- one night stands, consistent "girlfriends," whatever. But to be fair, this is only research done on Western men, and I'm not sure if it applies elsewhere.

From what I've seen, this is also a HUGE issue in non-Western patriarchial cultures, like Japan and Korea, that are also face societies. Even if the man doesn't want to cheat again, he feels a great deal of social pressure to because it's practically mandatory for business success. Because of these cultural similarities to the ME, I wonder if Middle Eastern men feel some of the same pressure to repeatedly cheat.

@ sweet_cidy: if a person loves you, he/she would love to spend more time(esp-romantic)with you rather than connecting (read: having a lovey dovey relationship) with various other females.This itself proves how sincere he is towards you and that you are one of his option amongst his list of various other females.Having said that, it is for you to decide if you want to remain an OPTION in someone's life or you chose to remain someone's PRIORITY!!

I liked what you have said, somehow it is true to some extend.

I believe this isnt happening with western men only, its in every part of the world...

also in arab countries cheating is increasing among men and women.

cairanya wrote:

Popli wrote:

cairanya wrote:

Conversely, with women it's usually about the specific guy they cheated with and the circumstances that led them to cheat (e.g., lack of support from their partner). If they cheated once, chances are they won't cheat again -- provided the problems that led them to cheat are fixed.

Please correct me, does this mean women has a reason To cheat while men doesn't have one ?

No. What I'm saying is that the reasons for each gender cheating are usually quite different, at least in the West. Consequently, who they cheat with are often quite different.

The research in Western women indicates that fewer women cheat compared to men, and the women who cheat usually only cheat with one partner -- and once they're discovered, they either get a divorce and/or fix the problem and never cheat again. The TV show Nashville is a really good example of this: [******SPOILER ALERT*****] she's not running around town dating every roadie who throws himself at her; she's involved with an old boyfriend who she originally broke up with 20+ years ago because he had a drug/alcohol addiction. However, he went into rehab and is currently free of the addiction that led them to breakup. Moreover, she's emotionally involved with him because her husband has financial problems and is ignoring her about her financial wishes and doing what her father tells him to do.

However, research indicates that men who cheat almost always cheat again. Why? They cheat because they feel it makes them more "manly." Consequently, they'll often cheat with whoever they can -- one night stands, consistent "girlfriends," whatever. But to be fair, this is only research done on Western men, and I'm not sure if it applies elsewhere.

From what I've seen, this is also a HUGE issue in non-Western patriarchial cultures, like Japan and Korea, that are also face societies. Even if the man doesn't want to cheat again, he feels a great deal of social pressure to because it's practically mandatory for business success. Because of these cultural similarities to the ME, I wonder if Middle Eastern men feel some of the same pressure to repeatedly cheat.

cairanya wrote:

Because of these cultural similarities to the ME, I wonder if Middle Eastern men feel some of the same pressure to repeatedly cheat.

There's a big difference in consequences in the ME, however.  Because of Sharia law, adultery is punishable by DEATH.

everything was said here

-discussion closed-