" Once a cheater always a cheater" --views please

... and ?

and what?

May not be true in some situation but most of the time:

YES, I strongly believe in it & hence I give *no* 2nd chance.

Julien wrote:

... and ?

And what Julien?

yeah I agree TLL

TheLegendLeads wrote:

Julien wrote:

... and ?

And what Julien?

and WTF does this have to do with being an expat in KSA, I think is what Julien is thinking.

C'mon Allie, not everything on the blog is pertaining to be an expat- please share your views on the topic!

Well, I'm not even sure what you mean by cheater. A cashier who cheats by giving back less money than is due?  Somebody who moves a piece on the chess board when his opponent isn't looking?  A spouse who is disloyal to his/her spouse?

Is this all the same thing?

I meant the latter one, the spouse stuff what is your opinion

andang wrote:

I meant the latter one, the spouse stuff what is your opinion

Okay, I've never cheated--I regard loyalty highly.  But I do think it's possible, under the right circumstances, for a person to mess up and make a mistake.

In other words, I think it can be a 'one time' thing.

People don't change.

I believe that people change....

if someone is a cheater doesnt mean that he will remain a cheater forever.....

Once a Cheater Always a cheater - False

Once a Cheater can be a cheater again - True

Alliecat wrote:

TheLegendLeads wrote:

Julien wrote:

... and ?

And what Julien?

and WTF does this have to do with being an expat in KSA, I think is what Julien is thinking.

+1 !

Julien and Allie thanks for bringing this up!
Well, I guess you are missing out on the part that people on EB belong to diverse culture. Each culture has its own beliefs and tolerance. I was curious to know what opinion everyone has! Each culture has its own dimension of ethics hence it was relevant. I do see thread which has completely nothing to do with the queries of being an expat but EB is a place where people also share cultural values and different aspects of their native land. hope this makes sense
An Dang

andang wrote:

Julien and Allie thanks for bringing this up!
Well, I guess you are missing out on the part that people on EB belong to diverse culture. Each culture has its own beliefs and tolerance. I was curious to know what opinion everyone has! Each culture has its own dimension of ethics hence it was relevant. I do see thread which has completely nothing to do with the queries of being an expat but EB is a place where people also share cultural values and different aspects of their native land. hope this makes sense
An Dang

andang wrote:

Julien and Allie thanks for bringing this up!
Well, I guess you are missing out on the part that people on EB belong to diverse culture. Each culture has its own beliefs and tolerance. I was curious to know what opinion everyone has! Each culture has its own dimension of ethics hence it was relevant. I do see thread which has completely nothing to do with the queries of being an expat but EB is a place where people also share cultural values and different aspects of their native land. hope this makes sense
An Dang

I think we fully understand--more than you, a newcomer--that people on EB belong to diverse cultures and I find it condescending of you to suggest we don't.

I don't know of any culture that espouses marital infidelity.  As for beliefs and tolerances as to whether once a cheater, always a cheater that seems to be an individual matter, we form our beliefs based on our experiences. 

One thing we can all agree on, I'm sure, is that KSA is NOT the place to cheat!

hey Allie,
I see a misunderstanding here. My intention was not to patronize other experienced members on EB;it was to exemplify how the topic was not irrelevant and how it had something to do with an expat views and I was trying to get a diverse opinion on the subject!
An Dang

andang, please check your inbox

I see your point Allie

Other quotes within the same line of thinking:

"A leopard cannot change its spots."
"Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior."
"All behavior has consequences."
"What you see is what you get."
And I'll throw in "The devil made me do it!"

Anyway, I have to agree with Alliecat on this one.  Plus, the issue of cheating is more about religious and societal mores as well as human nature (free will) than it is about cultural values.  As such, it's in the same category as stealing, lying, addictions, and killing/maiming. Consider also the seven deadly sins (wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony) ingrained in some level in all civil societies as undesirable traits.

andang, with full explanation, your message makes sense.

But "I strongly believe - once a cheater, always a cheater."

didn't sound relevant to me.

Hope you will understand my views

All the best,

Julien

Alliecat wrote:

andang wrote:

I meant the latter one, the spouse stuff what is your opinion

Okay, I've never cheated--I regard loyalty highly.  But I do think it's possible, under the right circumstances, for a person to mess up and make a mistake.

In other words, I think it can be a 'one time' thing.

haha ur defintely a nagger

every body deserve another chance

ameramer- how many chances? u mean one? why not two or three? could you please elaborate?

saimans wrote:

Once a Cheater Always a cheater - False

Once a Cheater can be a cheater again - True

QFT

andang wrote:

ameramer- how many chances? u mean one? why not two or three? could you please elaborate?

love means forgiveness

we don't wanna just open a court and judge the people mistakes , every one make mistakes and learn from his mistakes this is life 

im not justifying cheating as its so bad and painful , but true love make you forgive and give more chances

by the way , what do you mean by cheating ?

cheers

Well it really depends on the situation..

Personally I'll never trust a person if has once cheated on me.
But my opinion is: If he cheated on one person, then he may always cheat on that person again.
But if that person goes into another relationship with a person that he truly loves, he/she may never cheat on him/her..

People Grow,People get better and learn from their mistakes to  move on in life. People discover what was wrong before and what they should do.

Human Mind is all about learning.... You cannot be judgemental saying that once a cheater will always be a cheater..

Also to it depends on the situation which made someone "cheat" there are alot of factors which influence to do so therefore I believe that a cheater can learn and change himself/ herself.

Ditto, sweet_cidy!

alpha89 wrote:

saimans wrote:

Once a Cheater Always a cheater - False

Once a Cheater can be a cheater again - True

QFT

QFT ..??? What's that.

@ ameramer: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cheating?s=t

I believe there is a thin line of difference between "mistake" and "cheating". In my understanding, mistake is "unintentional", whereas cheating is "deliberate" (example-infidelity)
Please correct me if your views differ.

@ sweet_cidy: I do agree with you.But I believe people can change ONLY if they want to. Cheating is a means of convenience to achieve anything in life. And if that habit is deep seated within a person, no matter how hard one tries, during times of adversity,he/she will cling to convenience. Deep rooted TRAITS within a person is difficult (read:"impossible")to change.

Here is the catch @andang. Mistakes are mistakes and cheating is cheating. And we are talking about cheating here i.e. deliberate disloyalty.

I insist: Giving a second chance to a cheater is like offering him another bullet to shoot at you just because he had missed the previous shot.

TLL- completely agree with you! +1

I still can see cheating (once) as a mistake.  You didn't say a long-term affair, which I would consider deliberate.  But under the right circumstances, anybody can make a mistake and be incredibly remorseful and never make that mistake again.

@ Allie: Correct me if I am wrong, but in your views you would give the other person one chance to change, nothing beyond.right? what will be your views on infidelity? even if it is once.

andang wrote:

@ Allie: Correct me if I am wrong, but in your views you would give the other person one chance to change, nothing beyond.right? what will be your views on infidelity? even if it is once.

Well, it would be definitely painful and would take a while to regain trust.  If it happened a second time, that would be it as far as I am concerned.  Like I said, anybody can make a mistake but you've got to learn from it and not repeat it.  If you repeat it, it means you will continue to repeat it.*

*But you know, compulsive/addictive behavior is like this.  What I just said could apply to somebody who drinks too much, gambles, etc.  Can somebody be a compulsive cheater? Sure.

@ Allie: perfect +1
the list also includes a Casanova along with an alcoholic,a gambler etc.

BUT.. cheating once doesn't make somebody a compulsive cheater!  So, 'once a cheater, always a cheater'?  YES, if it happens continually.  If it happened once and the person was truly remorseful, I would forgive.