Vietnamese wife?

I have had similar responses from Asian ladies in the past. It is said by some that that size doesn't matter, but its seems that it does. A couple of ladies have told me that they prefer foreign blokes because they are more of an interference fit (my words - an engineering term which describes what they said without resorting to the vernacular). In other words, girth better than length.

I got married for the first time at 55 years of age. It's always good to try something once. My wife is a good decent hardworking girl who wants for nothing. We have an age difference of 22 years, it doesn't bother her and it doesn't bother me. So it's just a case of meeting someone you can get along with, I see guys with their trophy wives/gf and think to myself, what a waste of time.

Same here, collino. My missus is 30 years younger than me and all she wants is to have a comfortable life with family around her. She is highly educated, which makes living with her a pleasure.

I was married before in the UK to a money hungry slob who regularly forget to wash. Bloody good riddance to that.

Ditto, my wife just wants a normal life and focus on a happy family and wants for nothing as well, just that I love her, care for her, respect her etc.  BTW - which requires -0- money.

Ok for wife roll call I'll say that mine grew up in District 8 in Saigon. Technically a city girl but old fashioned, meaning concerned about neighbors' judgements and social rules, responsible to her family. Is that the definition of country girl? She is very caring, sacrificed for college, professional degree, at night I cannot tear her away from online classes like Coursera, she is driven to improve herself. I am guessing that city girls, or country girls who move to the city, are more motivated towards education. To me that is a very good sign.

Our arguments are always about money, never yelling or angry arguments, she is passive about it. The poor thing, it is so painful for her to spend money. Like breaking her habit of boiling tap water even though we get bottled delivery for 70.000d a month. The minute I step out of the room, she turns off the fan. The mall? "But the market is so much cheaper!" sheesh. Guys who say all Asian women are gold diggers are pathetic.

And I agree that you don't want a trophy wife. A good rule is if the girl is obsessed with selfies and uses her phone as a mirror, run.
I was watching a young woman in a clothing store last week. Suddenly she froze. She saw herself in the full length mirror and was mesmerized for at least 15 seconds. She was in love.

gobot wrote:

The poor thing, it is so painful for her to spend money. Like breaking her habit of boiling tap water even though we get bottled delivery for 70.000d a month. The minute I step out of the room, she turns off the fan.

A perfect woman in every culture.

We turn off light and fan too when we walk out of the room.  Also taking short showers and turning off water while brushing teeth, but that's because we came from CA.  Here in VN, I use boiled tap water (cool down) to rinse fruits and vegetables after washing them in kali pemanganat (KMnO4).

gobot wrote:

Guys who say all Asian women are gold diggers are pathetic.

Ciambella wrote:

gobot wrote:

The poor thing, it is so painful for her to spend money. Like breaking her habit of boiling tap water even though we get bottled delivery for 70.000d a month. The minute I step out of the room, she turns off the fan.

A perfect woman in every culture.

We turn off light and fan too when we walk out of the room.  Also taking short showers and turning off water while brushing teeth, but that's because we came from CA.  Here in VN, I use boiled tap water (cool down) to rinse fruits and vegetables after washing them in kali pemanganat (KMnO4).

gobot wrote:

Guys who say all Asian women are gold diggers are pathetic.

Its the same in our house. Its called taking care. To be honest, I have never been in a relationship where someone cared so much for me. Truthfully. It is quite humbling.

Haha. I have been dating my Vietnamese girlfriend from the United States online via FB and skype for many months prior to moving to Vietnam. We hit it off famously when we met in Vietnam in person, as we knew we would, because we took the time to know each others' hearts and minds. Few cultural differences and small language barriers aside, we have been crazy in love in real life, more than internet love. I cannot speak for other Vietnamese women, but mine is beautiful, sexy, faithful, loyal, caring and loves family. She was also a victim of a womanizing ex husband, who luckily for me, gave her two wonderful children whom I love like my own flesh and blood and they love the fact that I play with them and give them love and attention, unlike their selfish "father". She doesn't love me for my money as I have none, lol, just work various English teaching jobs here. She is an educated, self reliant woman who isn't a gold digger nor wants a free Visa to America. I believe the mental and heart connection is the key to a happy marriage to a Vietnamese local. Just my humble experience. By the way, I am 47 and she is 31, but in no way am I the "mature" one in the relationship. lol

Reorandy wrote:

Haha. I have been dating my Vietnamese girlfriend from the United States online via FB and skype for many months prior to moving to Vietnam. We hit it off famously when we met in Vietnam in person, as we knew we would, because we took the time to know each others' hearts and minds. Few cultural differences and small language barriers aside, we have been crazy in love in real life, more than internet love. I cannot speak for other Vietnamese women, but mine is beautiful, sexy, faithful, loyal, caring and loves family. She was also a victim of a womanizing ex husband, who luckily for me, gave her two wonderful children whom I love like my own flesh and blood and they love the fact that I play with them and give them love and attention, unlike their selfish "father". She doesn't love me for my money as I have none, lol, just work various English teaching jobs here. She is an educated, self reliant woman who isn't a gold digger nor wants a free Visa to America. I believe the mental and heart connection is the key to a happy marriage to a Vietnamese local. Just my humble experience. By the way, I am 47 and she is 31, but in no way am I the "mature" one in the relationship. lol

Thank you very much for good experience with Vietnamese women. We are not a gold digger.

Iamsnail wrote:

Reorandy wrote:

Haha. I have been dating my Vietnamese girlfriend from the United States online via FB and skype for many months prior to moving to Vietnam. We hit it off famously when we met in Vietnam in person, as we knew we would, because we took the time to know each others' hearts and minds. Few cultural differences and small language barriers aside, we have been crazy in love in real life, more than internet love. I cannot speak for other Vietnamese women, but mine is beautiful, sexy, faithful, loyal, caring and loves family. She was also a victim of a womanizing ex husband, who luckily for me, gave her two wonderful children whom I love like my own flesh and blood and they love the fact that I play with them and give them love and attention, unlike their selfish "father". She doesn't love me for my money as I have none, lol, just work various English teaching jobs here. She is an educated, self reliant woman who isn't a gold digger nor wants a free Visa to America. I believe the mental and heart connection is the key to a happy marriage to a Vietnamese local. Just my humble experience. By the way, I am 47 and she is 31, but in no way am I the "mature" one in the relationship. lol

Thank you very much for good experience with Vietnamese women. We are not a gold digger.

Some are, but not all.

Glad to here your happy experience you dont hear it often. I am entering the same scenario my self. Although the language barrier is getting me down a bit.  Mne is not a gold digger as there is no gold to dig.and she knows it. She is a wonderful  girl so i hope i have a happy ending like your self.

Raymond perri wrote:

Glad to here your happy experience you dont hear it often. I am entering the same scenario my self. Although the language barrier is getting me down a bit.  Mne is not a gold digger as there is no gold to dig.and she knows it. She is a wonderful  girl so i hope i have a happy ending like your self.

Language is a bigger issue than most people realize. Do your self and "her" a favor and learn at least basic Vietnamese.

70 years old wrote:

Raymond perri wrote:

Glad to here your happy experience you dont hear it often. I am entering the same scenario my self. Although the language barrier is getting me down a bit.  Mne is not a gold digger as there is no gold to dig.and she knows it. She is a wonderful  girl so i hope i have a happy ending like your self.

Language is a bigger issue than most people realize. Do your self and "her" a favor and learn at least basic Vietnamese.

Well, yeah, thats a given, however since the Vietnamese change their language like they take a shower (multiple times a day) learning the language can be a trial. There is another thread about this very subject elsewhere on this website, however and briefly: My missus gets very peed off when I attempt to speak Vietnamese to local people and they waggle their hands at head height and say Khong Hieiu (sp - its early). She will tear into them and ask "why didn't you understand what my husband just said to you in perfect Vietnamese". The response is usually the rictus grin of embarrassment and no reason except that one waiter in a restaurant did say: "because he is a foreigner".

Don't even think about the various dialects. I'm more or less getting my Saigon dialect back after a long stay in more central Vietnam.

70 years old wrote:

Don't even think about the various dialects. I'm more or less getting my Saigon dialect back after a long stay in more central Vietnam.

Funnily enough, my missus's mother was here for a couple of weeks recently and I came downstairs to find  the missus giving her mother a telling off. I asked what the problem was and she said" Mum keeps talking to me in that Baoc Loc dialect gibberish". 

Matt #333 - Don't worry, I've spoken good Vietnamese for 48 years and I still get restaurent staff telling me they don't understand.  It makes me chuckle when other staff point out that I am speaking Vietnamese and why do they say they don't understand. Otherwise I ask them myself.  The problem is that they do not expect to hear you speak Vietnamese, so simply don't tune in.

Apart from the vocabulary, grammar and tonal diffulties of learning Vietnamese, Vietnam is like Britain: every village has its own accent and big cities have different accents in different areas.  One day while chatting with a young man in Nha Trang, I asked him, "Where do you come from?"  He answered, "Nha Trang."   "But you don't speak with a downtown accent."    "No, I come from three kilometres out of town."  THREE KILOMETRES !

It took a while to quit laughing.

Note, some Vietnamese dialects are completely incomprehensible to other Vietnamese. The classic would be Yeu.

Eodmatt,

I had to shake my head or laugh or something....yes.."because you are a foreigner."

I havent been in VN section for a while but if you all remember Im in Malaysia and considering a move to Vietnam. Anyway, "because you are a foreigner" has happened so many times I think it just applies to all of Asia. I can ask something perfectly in the Malay language, ask it three times,  and the listener plain refuses to understand. You can straight see it on their face that they have turned off. When my g/f then asks, in no better words than mine, all is OK. All along, I thought the problem for expats was getting down the word order, tone, pronunciation, style. Its more than that, isnt it, its who is saying it.

But things are different when its the other way around. Im an american. Vietnamese in California, and im talking about those with very poor English skills, dont play that (game?), they expect to be understood the first time and no excuses and no matter what they say or how they say it. Fortunately, westerners seem to have an easier time deciphering the sentences --or lack thereof. Just say a few words, two or three, and no matter what the order or how badly pronounced, I can figure out the message of the speaker.  But Vietnamese, and others, though having as keen a brain as anyone else on the planet make a conscious choice NOT to understand you.

It may go to culture, fine, but it nevertheless truly SUCKS and contributes to an expat being shy to speak, or not working hard to learn a local language. I never get, "im happy you are trying, thank you for speaking our language," I get "because you are a foreigner." *IF* this can be overcome, wonderful, though Im really not sure what it will take.

gobot wrote:

I was watching a young woman in a clothing store last week. Suddenly she froze. She saw herself in the full length mirror and was mesmerized for at least 15 seconds. She was in love.

Gobot,  I tend to do that myself.  Mesmerizing.  Now the question is why were you watching a young woman in the first place? 🤔😀

Your wife is a good woman.

Yoda...... Why wouldn't any red blooded male watch a young woman???? 

Another interesting point about language is that, as a neighbour of mine from Austria observed only the other week, when we were discussing the same subject, he said: "they just don't listen". I thought about this a bit and decided to test his theory and, sure enough he is right.

For example, many Vietnamese will pick out a word in a sentence and concentrate on that word to the exclusion of the meaning of the sentence - in both English and Vietnamese.

So, the sentence "I decided NOT to go shopping today" is only received as the word "shopping" And almost inevitably elicits a response such as: "Oh, what did you buy?"

eodmatt wrote:

For example, many Vietnamese will pick out a word in a sentence and concentrate on that word to the exclusion of the meaning of the sentence - in both English and Vietnamese.

So, the sentence "I decided NOT to go shopping today" is only received as the word "shopping" And almost inevitably elicits a response such as: "Oh, what did you buy?"

Reading and listening comprehension are NOT considered important by many people all over the world.  I've encountered that time and time over every day, in Europe, in the States, in Asia, and on the many forums of THIS and other websites.  Strangely though, it has happened more often (at least to me) in English than in other languages.

Ciambella wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

For example, many Vietnamese will pick out a word in a sentence and concentrate on that word to the exclusion of the meaning of the sentence - in both English and Vietnamese.

So, the sentence "I decided NOT to go shopping today" is only received as the word "shopping" And almost inevitably elicits a response such as: "Oh, what did you buy?"

Reading and listening comprehension are NOT considered important by many people all over the world.  I've encountered that time and time over every day, in Europe, in the States, in Asia, and on the many forums of THIS and other websites.  Strangely though, it has happened more often (at least to me) in English than in other languages.

So, I have to ask if English is your first language?

I must  be a bit odd then, as I consider understanding what people say to be very important. And I also think it is very important for me to ensure that people understand what I say, especially when I'm at work, when, failure to follow my instructions could result in death or injury.  If what you say is true, then the world would be full of people frequently doing the opposite, say, to a policeman's instructions, for example - and,  rather oddly I have not seen that demonstrated in Vietnam (nor the UK, Germany, the USA, Canada, Peru, Mexico, Mozambique, France........... etc.

What you say might, however, account for why Vietnamese taxi drivers often take you somewhere other than where you want to go, unless you have google maps running on your phone, which I always do.

Another example of people not listening happened to me the other day when I came back from a meeting in Q1. My wife asked me how the meeting went and I said that it had been long and boring meeting and the air con in the meeting room made the air very dry, so on the way home I very nearly stopped at the Bia Craft bar in Thao Dien, for a beer.

I'd only got as far as "nearly stopped at the Bia ..." and she interjected with "Oh you went to the bar on your way home....?"

Vietnamese is my first language, then French.  English after that, and last, Italian. 

LOL on how your wife caught on to the bia and bar before anything else, but then that had nothing to do with her listening skill or her heritage.  It's wired in us women.  The fact that our spouses stopped at the bar on the way home was, at the moment, needed more attention from us than the description of a long and boring meeting.

As far the taxi drivers went where they were not supposed to head, it's not acceptable but understandable.  The right destination to correct the (first) wrong destination is a money making scam.

My spouse of 21 years, whose mother tongue is English, often only hears one part of what I say, then grabs on to that point and told me that, "again, you're either wrong or sillier than a goose" -- I'm neither, not always, but that's his belief and I don't often correct him.

I believe part of what causes the only-hear-what-they-want-to-hear phenomenon is the quick reaction that people usually have for most situations.  They don't do that with officers of the law, thankfully.

I speak slow in all languages; and in my experience, English speakers often do not wait for me to finish my sentences before giving me their (more often than not) off-the-wall replies.

@Ciambella

I plead guilty to hearing specific words in Vietnamese sentence, misunderstanding or failing to hear other Vietnamese words in that sentence and sometimes hear something that was different than than what the speaker actually said. I expect that that is part of the process of learning languages.

So for those who struggle to learn new languages, please be patient with us. I manage to struggle with English, Vietnamese, Spanish and Japanese. Though my Japanese has had little use in more than 40 years and is mostly forgotten.

Another thing that can cause difficulty in understanding a language is a national speaking rhythm. I used to be fascinated by a Japanese Physical Therapist Supervisor who spoke flawless Vietnamese with an absolute Japanese rhythm. Listening to her was awesome.

Ciambella wrote:

Reading and listening comprehension are NOT considered important by many people

eodmatt wrote:

I must  be a bit odd then, as I consider understanding what people say to be very important;

I didn't say reading and listening comprehension are not important.  I was saying many people do not consider them important.  You're not one of those people, and neither am I.  Still, for many, a quick response is more satisfied than taking the time to listen carefully or to read throughly.

@Ciambella- mmmmm - well, I have travelled the world extensively the last 40 years and have not experienced the phenomena of mass misunderstanding of the spoken word, nor have I noted that it is endemic. I speak English, German , a smattering of Vietnamese, Spanish, Italian, French, Portuguese, Monty Python Latin, Mandarin and enough Shangaan to get me into  trouble. Apparently I spoke Polish when I was a toddler - my father was Polish, but nothing of that remains now - and he's dead too.

And of course my wife would latch on the the word bar, since she considers that buying beer is a waste of money, whereas I consider it a matter of cultural necessity.

But bars aside, my Vn neighbour met me in the street the other day - his English is very good - and he said : "are you ok, I didn't see you out exercising for a few days?"

I replied that I had a painfull knee that prevented me from exercising and in fact had made it impossible for me to attend the funeral which had taken place in the next street two days before.

Typically, he responded with "Oh, you went to the funeral? I didn't see you there". The fact that he couldn't have missed me (I would have been the only non Vietnamese there) had I attended as there were only about  twenty people attending, as seen from my place, was lost on him.

I'm not aware of that kind of linguistic gymnastics amongst native English speakers though and it doesn't happen when I converse in German either.

Mind you, the Vietnamese are well known for jumping to conclusions as are the Chinese,  as an experience I had in Taiwan demonstrates:

I was the Director responsible for clearing a load of land mines from the island of Kinmen (Qemoy), Taiwan. The military told me, no explosions or smoke allowed due to the island being close to PRC which is only 1 km or so distant. So, no burning or detonations allowed.

I decided to experiment with removing the explosives from the land mines with solvent and asked my translator,  a Mr. Li, who had lived in Australia for a number of years, to take me to the pharmacy in the inaptly named nearby Golden Gate city (it's a crap hole), to buy some nail varnish remover.

Nail varnish remover is basically a solvent (acetone) which will dissolve some explosive compounds too and I just wanted about half a litre to experiment on the land mines with, to determine effectiveness as well as exothermic characteristics and so on.

Mr. Li was puzzled. "Why you wanna nail varnish remover" he wanted to know, but before I could answer, he said, "oh no, I see people in Australia do sniffing dat stuff, no good Mr. Matt".

I reassured him that I was not wanting to sniff it, so his next mental leap was that I must be gay and wanting to paint my nails like a kathoey. He said: "Oh Mr. Matt, no need to find men, I know you lonely here, but I can introduce you to my wife's sister, she a bit ugly so never marry, but you a bit fat anyway so you not complain....,,,"

And nothing to do with the subject but characteristic of Taiwanese: When we got to the pharmacy I went in ahead of Mr. Li and saw 4 ladies at the counter, so I said good morning in my best Mandarin.

One of the ladies replied but I didn't catch what she said and they all laughed. Mr. Li declined to translate until I threatened to cut his fingers off with my cigar cutter. Then he told me: "you say good morning right?" I nodded, he went on, "well, you say good morning and da lady said ..... oh my God the monkey speaks"

This is the second time some random Asian old man made a comment on your physique, Matt.  I think you should have a T-shirt with some sort of saying indicating that you're not fat, and anyone who says otherwise will lose a finger for his unsolicited remark.

This morning when we're getting ready to leave the bungalow for a photowalk (we're spending this month in Greece), I unplugged my iPod from the wall to put in the suitcase (less temptation for the housekeeping staff) while telling spouse what I was doing.   The only word he heard was "iPod", I figured, because he immediately interrupted me, "Seriously? You're going to take the iPod with you?"   

Thinking of this thread, I asked him why many people only hear but not listen, and why he is among those people.  He looked at me strangely, "I don't know what you're talking about.  I always listen to what you say."

Not really.

How many people on any of these threads really understand a post before typing out their replies?

You live an interesting life my dear!

The man in Taiwan (my interpreter) made his comment in year 2000, at a time when no westerner had ever set foot on the island of Qemoy.  But he was hardly unique in his lack of diplomacy though. The ordinary Vietnamese are no different, which I find hilarious.

I mean, for example a bloke I have never met can make rude comments about my physique, whilst smoking what stinks like dog turds wrapped in dried leaves, and whilst exhibiting a mouth full of rotten teeth and a large wart on his face with foot long (30cm) straggly hairs growing out of it.

Its all part and parcel of TVB.

However I accept the fact that the average Vietnamese person will very often misunderstand what is being said to them because they simply don't listen. And I make allowances for it.

I don't know the real reason for it, but it seems to be linked to the lack of spatial awareness that is common in most Asian women. They will step off an escalator and stop dead, blocking other peoples way and natter about something with a companion, completely oblivious to the chaos they are causing.

This behaviour is often also exhibited on exiting lifts, they take two steps and stop dead in front of the lift doors and chat. Similarly, supermarket trollies complete with sleeping child will be abandoned, blocking a gangway, whilst the mother browses the shelves, oblivious of the traffic jam she is causing.

And my own beloved wife is often the cause of "almost strife" as she walks backwards into people, or turns suddenly knocking people aside that she simply wasn't aware of, in supermarkets and crowded places.

TVB! 

eodmatt wrote:

I don't know the real reason for it, but it seems to be linked to the lack of spatial awareness that is common in most Asian women. They will step off an escalator and stop dead, blocking other peoples way and natter about something with a companion, completely oblivious to the chaos they are causing.

This behaviour is often also exhibited on exiting lifts, they take two steps and stop dead in front of the lift doors and chat.

I can attest to that.  We've been in Greece for 16 days now, and on every single day, we saw many Chinese tourists (men and women) walking about on the streets in three or fours, oblivious of buses honking for space and cars swerving around them.  I expect to see the same scenario for the entire time we're here. 

OTOH, that's also an Italian trait.  The Italians would stop smack dab anywhere to talk to one another without bothering to step to one side so other people can pass.  It was explained to me that no one in Italy was ever bothered by it, so there wasn't any need to change something that was part of the custom.

Ciambella wrote:

eodmatt wrote:

I don't know the real reason for it, but it seems to be linked to the lack of spatial awareness that is common in most Asian women. They will step off an escalator and stop dead, blocking other peoples way and natter about something with a companion, completely oblivious to the chaos they are causing.

This behaviour is often also exhibited on exiting lifts, they take two steps and stop dead in front of the lift doors and chat.

I can attest to that.  We've been in Greece for 16 days now, and on every single day, we saw many Chinese tourists (men and women) walking about on the streets in three or fours, oblivious of buses honking for space and cars swerving around them.  I expect to see the same scenario for the entire time we're here. 

OTOH, that's also an Italian trait.  The Italians would stop smack dab anywhere to talk to one another without bothering to step to one side so other people can pass.  It was explained to me that no one in Italy was ever bothered by it, so there wasn't any need to change something that was part of the custom.

Ah, yes I remember seeing that in Pisa when I visited the leaning tower many years ago. But on recent trips to Hong Kong the mainland Chinese tourists were terrible for blocking footpaths, roads, lifts, escalators and so on.

And there's another, related phenomenon, that I have observed: Like  shoals of fish, moving as if one entity, they will suddenly all go off in one direction after milling round aimlessly for maybe 5 or six minutes.

And I notice that in restaurants here in Saigon, a bunch of people will be "one two three yo ing" and getting it on and then suddenly, as if on a hidden signal, they all get up and leave. Fascinating to watch.

A lack of situational awareness strikes me more as a civilian characteristic than a nationality issue. Soldiers who ignore their surroundings tend not to live very long. Civilians really can survive reasonably well most of the time, under most situations and with out paying attention to their surroundings.

As a former soldier I agree that spatial awareness is a very important attribute. Shortly after leaving the army and as an EOD specialist, I went to Cambodia to assess demining needs for the EU. After spending a year on and off in Cambodia assessing mined areas, I was virtually unable to walk on grass or unpaved areas for ages afterwards.

I think that a bit of clarification might be appropriate. Spatial awareness and situational are almost but not quite the same thing. I expect that eodmatt and I would react the same if we were in a situation where we heard incoming.

During training at Fort Hood, I managed to (simulatedly)blow myself up in a simulated minefield because of poor spatial awareness. After disarming mines and clearing minefields, for many decades eodmatt is doing the same work and doesn't seem to have blown any body parts off yet.

That you know about    I do have some scars though!

The horror stories you hear are true.

re #350 - "And I notice that in restaurants here in Saigon, a bunch of people will be "one two three yo ing" and getting it on and then suddenly, as if on a hidden signal, they all get up and leave. Fascinating to watch."

SImilarly, my wife and I were holding a large party at home in Nha Trang and it was going very well. Our Vietnamese guests had very happily drunk through most of the ten cartons of beer cans, so I rang for an urgent resupply of another ten cartons, which arrived forwith. Then all our guests en mass upped and left.

Hello guys, one thing i cannot figure out from all your posts - are vietnamese women open to a long term relationship with a foreigner ? are they INTO making a family with a white man ?....And another one - besides the online dating, what are the best options to finding a wife in Vietnam ?
Thanks a lot !

I have been married to my "old war buddy," a woman who happens to be Vietnamese and worked for the American military, since 1971 and we are still married.

Unlike most posters here, I believe that women are women and it doesn't make that much difference where they are born. This is especially true today.

Sixteen members (both male and female) of my Vietnamese family are married to Westerners.  The longest lasting marriage (so far) is 27 years.  Together, they've produced enough children and grandchildren to fill a decent size hamlet.

They met their spouses through friends, schools, or workplace.

70 years old wrote:

I have been married to my "old war buddy," a woman who happens to be Vietnamese and worked for the American military, since 1971 and we are still married.

Unlike most posters here, I believe that women are women and it doesn't make that much difference where they are born. This is especially true today.

Sorry mate, but I have to respectfully disagree with you.  All of us have our opinions and different experiences in life.  Based on my relationships with women from 5 continents, there are differences based on culture, not sex.  I understand your point just as men are men in general, but we are not all the same and depending on where and when you were born, we have our differences.

I am not going to go into detail, but yes, VN women are women and have some similar traits as all women, but when it comes to marriage/family, how they react, what they expect etc., I see and experience material differences from the non-asian women in my life.  I doubt my VN wife is an exception and based on other relationships as well as friends, we agree, there are noticeable and differences.  Whether they are good or bad depends on the individual.

What i postulate is that those who have been in a marriage for a long time have become accustomed to their wife and may no longer see those differences.