Dating I HCMC

If u r looking for just sex, there's lot of those too .... just not a lot in between. BTW, if u r looking for a good girl, aren't u looking for marriage?

When a foreigner come to Viet Nam and is looking for a date, girls/women immediately see you as an ATM machine! Imagine living in one of the poorest country in the world and wanting to have a good life, wouldn't you do the same?  I've visited VN each year to see my father who is retired in VN and each time, I see a young Vietnamese girl in the arm of an American/European guy. 

They all want to get married so that their family can SECURE a good financial future!!!  BE CAREFUL, I see in many cases that they use "black magic" to seduce foreign man to love them and give them ALL of their money.  Obviously the man would feel a strange type of love but he cannot help himself by pleasing the woman. There was one incident in 2011 when I was at the bank and I see a young European guy with an ugly vietnamese girl together. The guy would add her name to his bank account. This happens in Viet Nam and ESPECIALLY Cambodia. 

My advice to young foreign men.  BE CAREFUL!!!!

I not looking for for that type of girl.

I stay away from the so call easy girls. too many land mines in that field.

What about dating site anyone have any luck with those here?

Is there a singles mixers or speed dating places in HCMC?

tien.tran wrote:

When a foreigner come to Viet Nam and is looking for a date, girls/women immediately see you as an ATM machine! Imagine living in one of the poorest country in the world and wanting to have a good life, wouldn't you do the same?  I've visited VN each year to see my father who is retired in VN and each time, I see a young Vietnamese girl in the arm of an American/European guy. 

They all want to get married so that their family can SECURE a good financial future!!!  BE CAREFUL, I see in many cases that they use "black magic" to seduce foreign man to love them and give them ALL of their money.  Obviously the man would feel a strange type of love but he cannot help himself by pleasing the woman. There was one incident in 2011 when I was at the bank and I see a young European guy with an ugly vietnamese girl together. The guy would add her name to his bank account. This happens in Viet Nam and ESPECIALLY Cambodia. 

My advice to young foreign men.  BE CAREFUL!!!!

I've been around the block before lol

Yeah I've heard of those stories too.

I wouldn't fall for any of those shenanigans.
I already had a girl try to pull that on me already so unfortunate. she seem really nice though.


I guess I'm really looking for a sugar mama j/k

I don't think the expat bars are a good place huh

jinxedta wrote:

I not looking for for that type of girl.

I stay away from the so call easy girls. too many land mines in that field.

What about dating site anyone have any luck with those here?

Is there a singles mixers or speed dating places in HCMC?

Try vietnamcupid.com ... but, those girls are looking for marriage. In Vietnam, they don't meet guys to date on/off, it's either a home run or not. Many "good girls" are virgins till marriage

thanks guys for the advice,

Back in the states they have speed dating there not of that here is there?

I had a lot of fun going to those events.


any girls gonna chime in and help a brotha out? I would like both sides of the coin here

jinxedta......HAHAHAHA.  Sugar mama sounds like a good plan.  Are you currently in Saigon?  If so, what are you doing up so early?  it's about 3:00AM there Saturday (6/8/2013)??

Nice meeting you buddy.......I plan to visit VN this year (Nov. 2013) for the entire month. Would like to meet with US Expats living there....keep in touch man!!

Tien Tran

tien.tran wrote:

jinxedta......HAHAHAHA.  Sugar mama sounds like a good plan.  Are you currently in Saigon?  If so, what are you doing up so early?  it's about 3:00AM there Saturday (6/8/2013)??

Nice meeting you buddy.......I plan to visit VN this year (Nov. 2013) for the entire month. Would like to meet with US Expats living there....keep in touch man!!

Tien Tran

Can't sleep...

Been busy writing business plans and though this would be a good topic to talk about since i hit a writers block an hour ago.

yeah I'm living in d1

I always stay at the same place when I visit VN (D1; Pham Ngu Lao street). Don't remember the side street name...but let me know if you are near this street. 

Since you are in VN.  Have you visited Nha Trang.  I plan to visit there for 1 wk when I go to VN.  Heard it is very very nice and quiet.  THANKS buddy!!!

about a business plan.  What type of business do you plan to open in D1? there are so many questions of logistics that i would like to ask of you since you seem to know a lot by living there.  Hope this is OK.

THANKS,
Tien Tran

go to da nang and hoi anh it really nice up there and not too many tourist well except for hoi an


I'm not too much of a fan of the back packers district seems too seedy at times plus most of my friends have been robbed or pick pocketed there.


Hey I found a speed dating thing here lol
google... what would i do without you?

I looks good.
what do you think
facebook.com/VNSpeedDating

yeah let me know what you need bro i'm always glad to help

VNspeeddating....won't hurt.  Try it out! Good luck.

BTW.  Where do you recommend staying in D1 besides Pham Ngu Lao area?  How much is it per night? I spend around $13/night in a hotel. It's quiet since it is located in a small alley. Hate the street noise on Pham Nguy Lao.

If it is cheaper than $13/night and quiet, please let me know.

THANKS,
Tien Tran

jinxedta wrote:

Okay Just throwing this out there.
FYI (i'm not lookiong for anyone on here i know this is not a dating site) Just some advice.

I've been here in HCMC for a few months, I only have one question

Where are all the good girls in this town.

I've dated a few girls but nothing pan-out a couple of them seem all fine and well in the beginning but it all went down hill after a few weeks.

Are all the girls looking for marriage only???
Is it a cultural thing???

Thanks in advance

There is a lot of good girls on Expat.com, it's better then a dating site ...

Can you speak VN, if not your wasting your time at a speed dating site.In the 6 years I have lived here I always kept away from any girls from D1, they seem to be accustomed to foreigners too much. If you are looking for a girl just for  a casual relationship, good luck, most girls want to get married.There are lots of nice girls here, you just have to just keep meeting them till you find a nice one, but if your just after a fling, then you get what you pay for.

that's right! almost us here want to make new foreigner friends to improve our English communicating skills! Wherever u are, there r both kinds of good n bad person, so pls dont think bad abt Vienamese ! G luck

jinxedta wrote:

Okay Just throwing this out there.
FYI (i'm not lookiong for anyone on here i know this is not a dating site) Just some advice.

I've been here in HCMC for a few months, I only have one question

Where are all the good girls in this town.

I've dated a few girls but nothing pan-out a couple of them seem all fine and well in the beginning but it all went down hill after a few weeks.

Are all the girls looking for marriage only???
Is it a cultural thing???

Thanks in advance

I saw your topic and think about your wondering.
Im a Vietnam girl who also wanna find a good man (not distinguised VN and expats). I think, all vietnam girls have common cause, we dont want to have a speed dating. How can we love when we know the day to saparate will next three or sixth month? How can we love when we sure about cant live with eachother in the rest of our life? How can?

If you have money, you can looking for some chickengirls. If you have feeling, you want to love, you want to look for a good girl, you ll have to ready for a stability future.

I had a suggetion from a 25 years old boy ( Im 27 years old), lets get a dating, (speed dating), but I ll come back to USA in this August. Oh. Love in 3 months? what is that?

Its not life, its not love. Its unresponsible. We think so.

Charlie,
Forget everything you've ever learned in the US about starting relationships with women. It's just not the same here. NashCat has made some good comments and I agree with most of them. I also agree that there appear to be some good girls here on Expat.com. That's about as close as you're going to get as far as situations simialar to American dating. Now, after you're in a relationship, I will say that women are women, whether they're American, Vietnamese, Chinese, whatever - all have basically the same overall expectations for happiness and you have to respect that. It's my experience though, that the Asian women are easier to live with. (Apologies to all you western women out there...)

I think it depends on where you meet the girls. If you meet them at the bars, I am not sure they are the ideal types of Vietnamese girls. You can find the good ones through the coffee shops, bookstores, churches or Pagoda... However, it is just my own opinion. I think you have not got the chance to meet the right girl yet. Be patient and if you really want to find a good one, then you, sooner or later, will meet her, as the best is yet to come.
When you meet the right person, your heart will know that she is the one and I am sure it will not matter whether she is Vietnamese or not.

It took me over three years to meet my current girlfriend, I had gone out with some really nice ladies, but they wanted marriage too quickly. My current girlfriend doesnt care if we get married or not, but if it happens she is ok with it. As stated above, like anywhere in the world you generally dont meet the right girl in a bar. Be prepared to have a girl tell you she loves you after one day and also wants to get married within a week of knowing you.

tien.tran wrote:

This is the text I want to quote

What you think about Vietnamese is a little bit subjective. I agree that there are some stories that some Vietnamese girls dated with foreign guys and then went away with the money from their pocket. However, it is not always the case.
I think maybe you have not meet the good girls, so you think all Vietnamese girls just consider the foreigners as their ATM machine. Besides, why don't you think that some foreign guys dated with Vietnamese girls and then ran away leaving them alone with their pregnancy? Are you sure that the Vietnamese girls being in the arms of American/ European guys, as you saw, are just trying to get money from their pocket? I am not trying to make the conservation become controversial, and I know you have your own opinion. However, I just feel what you observed and the way you think about Vietnamese girls are not really exact.

www.tagged.com is a popular social networking/dating site and I know a couple guys who have met their girlfriends there.

In Vietnam (or most of SEA) dating is viewed as a step towards marriage. I know this is a very generalized statement but for the most part it is true. From my meager understanding of the culture here the girls and young women seem to think they are in some kind or race against time to find a husband and start a family. I have a niece who is 25 and she is worried about finding a husband. She wanted me to set her up with a friend of mine but when she found out he was only going to be in Vietnam 6 months she didn't want anything to do with him, she said she didn't want to waste her time.

You also have the problem of the parents pressuring the girls to get married. I have met so many ladies that were pressured into marriage and therefore failed very quickly. Viet Nam has one of the highest rates of divorce in Asia, maybe the parents pushing the girls into marriage has something to do with this.

truc_nguyen wrote:

You can find the good ones through the coffee shops, bookstores, churches or Pagoda...

I have found that markets and cafes are 2 of the best places to meet women.
The market because the woman is in a place she doesn't consider to be in a social situation and will be acting more her true self. And if she is there with her mom or grandmother you can see how she interacts with them.
Its very easy to start a conversation because the women will be very surprised your there anyway (especially if you are alone at a "street" market and not at super market) and they will be very eager to help you with your purchases, all you have to do is ask. This will also give you an indication of their level of English skill.

Cafes are nice also because it is a relaxed atmosphere and it is very easy to start a conversation. Questions about the menu or about the area of town your in are great and many times can end with you being invited to join the table with them.

colinoscapee wrote:

Viet Nam has one of the highest rates of divorce in Asia, maybe the parents pushing the girls into marriage has something to do with this.

It may also have something to do with the high rate of alcoholism in Vietnam. I have heard many stories from some of my wife's friends about their husbands coming home drunk from work 5 to 6 nights a week and a lot of these are not friendly drunks.

True Don, you also have the gambling factor, I have some friends who lost everything due to the husbands gambling.

[quote/VungTauDon]=This is the text I quote[/I have found that markets and cafes are 2 of the best places to meet women.
The market because the woman is in a place she doesn't consider to be in a social situation and will be acting more her true self. And if she is there with her mom or grandmother you can see how she interacts with them.
Its very easy to start a conversation because the women will be very surprised your there anyway (especially if you are alone at a "street" market and not at super market) and they will be very eager to help you with your purchases, all you have to do is ask. This will also give you an indication of their level of English skill.

Cafes are nice also because it is a relaxed atmosphere and it is very easy to start a conversation. Questions about the menu or about the area of town your in are great and many times can end with you being invited to join the table with them]

I do agree with what you think. Yes, we can see the natural manner and behavior of Vietnamese girls so that we can know how real she is, and market is the good place. Churches or Pagodas are also the ideal places because they show the girls have their own belief, and I think girls with their belief/ faith in God or Buddha are always better than those from the bars.
However, it does not matter where the girls come from. I also think the mutual thinking and similarities is the strong bond for a relationship no matter where they are from.

One of our neighbors when we lived over by Jesus lost his house on a drunken football bet during one of the championship matches a few years back. The mafia guys had no problem booting him and his family out a few days later

totally agreed with Trucnguyen we are Vietnamese! We proud of that!

Thanks for all the chime ins guys/gals. 

I would like to be able to meet someone and get to know them first before getting into something serious. 

I am viet American  yes I can speak Vietnamese.  But sometime there are points of confusion and thing said get lost in translation here.

Like. There is no word or understanding of the word "dating" it either all or nothing.  That was my first experience with a girls here in Vietnam. 

I really don't like those websites it seem like it is only a meat market. And you really don't get to know the other person. 

Ladies give me some advice.

What's another word for dating here or term that I can use to say I want to date you exclusively for now and see if the relationship can turn into something more serious.

Lately it's been
Girls I go out with for a week or so and they tell me they love me.  How can that be ???
We have been going out for a couple of weeks. Is it me or love come here too easily.

The word love is used very loosely, just look around you. The word is everywhere, on shirts,bikes,shops they are in love with the word love. You have only been here a short time, you cant expect miracles in a few months, it took me 3.5 years to find a lady I really like.I went out with bucket loads of women here, some just for 2 hours some for a few days, its all part of the process.

Jinxedta,

How about "trial date" (like trial marriage)?
You can say that to a girl and see how she reacts.

"Date" in Vietnamese means 1) "tìm hiểu" - get to know each other and 2) "hẹn hò" - in relationship 
In stage 2, two persons are a couple. They are close to each other physically and spiritually. Meanwhile, in stage 1, they mostly give spiritual sharing with a bit romance. This is different with the "Western culture" (this term here is collectively referred to all countries excluding Asian and African ones. Western men (also, this term is for all born and/or grown with Western culture), to my understanding, expect an "intimate date" no matter how serious they see or don't.
So, if you suggest a "trial date" to a Viet girl and applies for the stage 1, I positively think it works. But for the stage 2, it depends...but usually "serious" girls will not accept as they feel used and unrespected.

About love, I even believe love comes at the first sight. The point here is when one of the two persons says it out to the other and people, for many reasons, take long time to admit that. Back to the case that girl said love you after one week, for me, no surprise. And I believe that you are old enough to know if it was real or fake.

Charlie!
You should step down from your empty pride which you got from the States and then open your eyes slowly. Sure, you will find out a girl in your dream.

From my experience, Vietnamese woman are very conservative than what we in the west are use to.  I have met some married ones interested in that 1 night fling but I advise against it.  Having been married to an unfaithful wife the few minutes of joy is not worth the pain that can be caused to that family.  I have learned that being intimate here is like a promise to marry.  There are plenty of western woman passing through, if sex is the need see them or a professional girl.  I am not an advocate of prostitution but please give those girls respect and treat them well.  I am sure they would rather have a husband supporting them.  Just my thoughts.

I didn't know this would be such hot topic here...

By all means I'm not into the 1 night stands.

I just saying that its not hard to find someone her in VN but finding that someone that is looking to get to know one another before getting so serious is the clincher.

heck really you don't really get to know someone for at least a year or so. You can't really find out someone's quirks within a few weeks. 

I see why there are so much divorce or separations here. marriage is a life long commitment that cannot be decided within a few weeks.

wow everyone is getting deep with there thoughts

jinxedta wrote:

I didn't know this would be such hot topic here...

Hot is always hot!

I have had good luck wtih okcupid.com/home - OK Cupid

I had been wondering the same about the Expat men here.  I spent the first 8 months dating complete as*****.  They are not the same here as good 'ole American boys.

This forum did not post my link.  Try OK Cupid.

I found a new speed dating thing

while searching around the net

give me your thoughts

vnspeeddating.com

I think Im gonna try it I had fun when I did them in the US

NashCat
Very well said. You're best!

In Viet Nam, parent usually force girl to marry from 25 - 30. Over 30, it is not good for giving a birth and people around you will have rumour such as "Poor her!!! She could not find a man, that is the reason why".

Especially, the girl in The north, average marriage age is 25. Vietnamese has a concept that people just have a mature and stable life until they get a husband. Keeping an old girl in family without marriage is like keeping a bomb. Someday, it will explore and "bommm!!!" (It means that she will have sex and be pregnant)

So, If you want to date with any girl, please set expectation with them first. Because this is our culture. Girl will expect to marry you, it is very natural and usual in this society, we accept it.