Hey y'all from Spain

Welcome aparejador,

if you don't like the place, why aren't you packing up everything and go back home with your wife?

I knew I wasn't being explicit enough.  I AM home with my wife... we are both in Spain.  She's from Spain.  She lived 7 years in my country, and now it's pretty much my turn to b***h and moan, just like she did for the last 5 we were living there.
She loved the States, at least when I met her, and we were dating (in the U.S.), and when we got married she always expressed the desire to live what some people call, 'the American dream.'  It lasted several years, but eventually she just got homesick (despite yearly trips home during the holidays.)
What I am trying to post here, really, is a word of warning...
The 'honeymoon' may last for years, but people can change.  Their petty thoughts and fears can get the better of them.  And then what?  Well, marriage is a compromise, so you make your arrangements, you deal with it, you make deals with each other, and sometimes, you get petty and afraid yourself, and you just have to 'vent' to strangers, so that you don't overwhelm the people that you actually know with the doubts and worries that start to eat YOU up inside.

So that's what I'm doing:  fully explicit and transparent.  She feels that she made sacrifices for us when we were still living in my country, a couple years after she had convinced herself that she was really miserable there, so I'm putting in my time, and in my weaker moments, console my misery on the internet.

Spain's great, it has a lot to offer.  It's just easier for me to take those things for granted right now, and take my turn at the 'pity party.'

Thanks for the forum though.

Is there no third country where you might both be happy????or both miserable ;-)

Oreneta, I was about to ask that :-)

Yeah, we've considered taking a job offer in Iraq, but I decided it is better for one of us to be miserable at a time, than for both of us to be miserable together.
Despite being paid over 8 times as much money in Iraq than in Madrid.

You can't buy happiness, right?


P.S. Thanks for giving me a place to get things off my chest, I truly feel better about my life after having posted these comments here.

Thanks guys.

Hey, welcome on board.   I've my moments of pity, too.   I guess, that's part of the territory when you're a trainling spouse but like you said, that's what's about. Compromise