real love

I'm  young, but i don't belive in real love or perfect love.
I belive things change, everything changes, so the in love change too.
In this moment can be a real love, but  in other moment can not be.

Sure believe in real love but not must be perfect cos it rarely to happen !!!

I dont also know if there is real love, but I always hope it can come true with me. Maybe everything can change but at least each couple should do right every second when love and to be loved.
Hate ....lie and unfairthful....!

Real love??? 
What is it?

mervat wrote:

Is there a real love between man and woman in this world?
Really I'm very confused, for a short time I started to believe that this is real love; but then I
realized that there is not. Who believe in real love and why you believe in it?

First of all i can tell you there is nothing called real love or unreal love,perfect love or imperfect love....there is only love...and it cannot be defined...if it is defined then it has measured  in whichever means and whatever we can measure cant be love, If there is no love then the world would have finished long back....what you have to do is,check your defination of love, what is love for you? For me we cannot fall in love but we can be in love....thats what everybody does....and moreover nobody can tell you why to believe in it.....when you are in love ...you are in love...you cannot say how when where it happened and what is this...thats all about love is ...think of yourself and you will be in love with yourself and once you start loving yourself , you will find everywhere love.....and this will be true or real love as per you...

Regards,
anil

alicesoster wrote:

I'm  young, but i don't belive in real love or perfect love.
I belive things change, everything changes, so the in love change too.
In this moment can be a real love, but  in other moment can not be.

If it is changed then it not love also so no question of believe or disbelieve....love cannot be changed...love remains the same...think of your parents they love you when you are a child and till today it wont change from there end but might be from your end that cant be said....

there are real and pure love between us. but it is tough to find out because we are thinking it is far but not. I know it is surrounding us.

yes ur right every thing change even feel in love

you know  me too i do not believe in real love ;but I hope to find it .

thx anil
it's a great words "we cannot fall in love but we can be in love....  love with yourself and once you start loving yourself , you will find everywhere love" thanks Anil your words made me feel better.
Mervat

okay but love between man and woman change all the time so this not love it's temporary feelings between both of them.

love everywhere but i'm talking about love between man and woman.

mervat wrote:

thx anil
it's a great words "we cannot fall in love but we can be in love....  love with yourself and once you start loving yourself , you will find everywhere love" thanks Anil your words made me feel better.
Mervat

You are Welcome

mervat wrote:

okay but love between man and woman change all the time so this not love it's temporary feelings between both of them.

Love cannot be change only we the man and woman changes and according to that we start measuring our amount of love in the form of purity or reality....

mervat wrote:

love everywhere but i'm talking about love between man and woman.

I have written before also there is a love between man and woman other wise there wont be any family and the earth would have empty from human beings

no this not love it's feelings and desires.

mervat wrote:

no this not love it's feelings and desires.

Then please explain me what is love and what are it types?

aryavrat wrote:

Then please explain me what is love and what are it types?

Don't you know what love   is, yet??
First you study it from your loving mother, next father bros and sis. Next from relatives neighbors, teachers, Lecturers colleagues!
Next from your office bosses and mates. Next from your specific partner and kids!

Further you study love from pets & nature & all the society.
What is love.... no one can teach you it but your    can feel it from life...!

Of course there is real love, it certainly exists, but it takes constant work to keep it that way.

Think of a garden and love as the seed that we plant in the garden. You plant the seed, water and weed the garden constantly, add fertilizer and your flower blooms. So once the flower blooms does the gardener stop tending to the garden? Of course not, a good gardener works twice as hard once the flower has bloomed. He or she continues to water, weed, fertilize, cultivate the soil and get rid of insects and blights that might damage or kill the flowers. Real love is exactly the same way. If you stop taking care of it then it will soon fade and die just like a flower in an untended garden.

The problem is that we humans are prone to reach a certain result that makes us happy and we're satisfied with that and expect it is going to stay exactly that way when we stop doing what we did to achieve that result. Dead wrong!!!

Another problem is that it takes two individuals who are like minded in their dedication to keep that garden in peak condition. Two people who will each give 100%, work tirelessly to make the relationship work. That unfortunately doesn't happen most of the time, we're not usually that mature.

Any relationship is made up of three equal and inseparable parts - emotion (i.e. the love), respect and trust. Without any one of those parts a couple simply does not exist. Another fact is that you have to have a certain amount of all three for YOURSELF before you can give them to anyone else. You can't love somebody else unless you have self-love, you can't respect anyone else unless you first have self-respect and how could you possibly trust anyone else if you don't trust yourself? Your love cannot be blind, it must be realistic. Your respect must be earned as much as being freely given too. Your trust is something that must be sacred and honored by a determination not to do anything that would destroy that trust that has been placed in you.

Love is the seed, our actions are the water. Kind words, trust and respect and consideration are the fertilizer. Dedication is the work we put into weeding and caring for the garden. That beautiful rose we end up with is the result that we must work at keeping alive and not let it fade. Just think about that.

Too many people have a "conditional" love. Essentially they say, "I'll love you IF........" and then they put on a condition. That is not true love by any means. You've got to get to the point where you're essentially saying, "I love you because...." and the final part of the sentence should be about something that makes you happy with the other person.

Always remember:

Divorce is 50/50, but marriage must be 100/100 or it is doomed right from the get go.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil & Canada Expert, Expat-blog Team

mal wrote:

aryavrat wrote:

Then please explain me what is love and what are it types?

Don't you know what love   is, yet??
First you study it from your loving mother, next father bros and sis. Next from relatives neighbors, teachers, Lecturers colleagues!
Next from your office bosses and mates. Next from your specific partner and kids!

Further you study love from pets & nature & all the society.
What is love.... no one can teach you it but your    can feel it from life...!

Hello Mal,

I have felt Love and thats what i was trying to explain mervat but she told this is feelings and desires ,then I asked what is her defination of love and what are the types....because for me love is love no pure / impure ,real /unreal or natural / unnatural.And i also suggested her their is a love between us otherwise the world has been finished long back...And you are 100% right no one can teach anyone love because love is a experience of every individual....

With Love
Anil

aryavrat wrote:

Hello Mal,
......
With Love
Anil

Hello Anil....
...
With Love
Mal

wjwoodward wrote:

Think of a garden and love as the seed that we plant in the garden. You plant the seed, water and weed the garden constantly, add fertilizer and your flower blooms. So once the flower blooms does the gardener stop tending to the garden? Of course not, a good gardener works twice as hard once the flower has bloomed. He or she continues to water, weed, fertilize, cultivate the soil and get rid of insects and blights that might damage or kill the flowers. Real love is exactly the same way. If you stop taking care of it then it will soon fade and die just like a flower in an untended garden.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil & Canada Expert, Expat-blog Team

Hi James,
Thanks for sharing your ideas describing real love.
Its always very interesting to read your ideas. We have a lot to take from you.
You are so generous!
Thanks again.
Mal

mal wrote:

wjwoodward wrote:

Think of a garden and love as the seed that we plant in the garden. You plant the seed, water and weed the garden constantly, add fertilizer and your flower blooms. So once the flower blooms does the gardener stop tending to the garden? Of course not, a good gardener works twice as hard once the flower has bloomed. He or she continues to water, weed, fertilize, cultivate the soil and get rid of insects and blights that might damage or kill the flowers. Real love is exactly the same way. If you stop taking care of it then it will soon fade and die just like a flower in an untended garden.

Cheers,
William James Woodward - Brazil & Canada Expert, Expat-blog Team

Hi James,
Thanks for sharing your ideas describing real love.
Its always very interesting to read your ideas. We have a lot to take from you.
You are so generous!
Thanks again.
Mal

Mal,
Are you saying that you really did not know until now what love is? 

John C. wrote:

Mal,
Are you saying that you really did not know until now what love is? 

No John,  you wanna explain me further, by a song?? 
Some say love it is a river -That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor-That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger-An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,-And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking-That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking-That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,-Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying-That never learns to live.

And the night has been too lonely-And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only-For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter-Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,-In the spring, becomes a rose.
I would close my eyes and listen to you

mal wrote:

John C. wrote:

Mal,
Are you saying that you really did not know until now what love is? 

No John,  you wanna explain me further, by a song?? 
Some say love it is a river -That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor-That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger-An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,-And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking-That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking-That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,-Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying-That never learns to live.

And the night has been too lonely-And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only-For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter-Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,-In the spring, becomes a rose.
I would close my eyes and listen to you

Hi Mal,
I am speechless! ... 
Who wrote that?   

wish I wrote. But before me Amanda McBroom happened to write it.
But now you are going to sing that for me, John!

mal wrote:

wish I wrote. But before me Amanda McBroom happened to write it.
But now you are going to sing that for me, John!

Not only that, but I am re-writing it for the good rhymes to sing too.
Here is it:

Some say love it is a river -That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor-That leaves your soul to bleed.

Some say love it is a hunger-An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,-And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking-That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking-That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken,-Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying-That never learns to live.

And the night has been too lonely-And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only-For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter-Far beneath the coldish snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,-In the spring, becomes a rose aglow.

mervat wrote:

Is there a real love between man and woman in this world?
Really I'm very confused, for a short time I started to believe that this is real love; but then I
realized that there is not. Who believe in real love and why you believe in it?

Hello Mervat, 
No there is no love. It's only a true hormonal thing and one of the subtlest ways by which a woman's mind fights a man's secret dreams to win.
It happens just 3-10 times in a lifetime to fall in love (if more times, that's pathological), and, because of our faulty brain, we always remember our first love (the school sweetheart) nostalgically forgetting to be grateful to the love which reciprocated our deep feelings with flexibility and tolerance, not the one we had to lose while young.

With Earthians, falling in love looks like something special in the beginning just to change into habitual hate later on in time. (No, this is not cynicism; it's cold observation).

I always admired those rare couples who celebrated 50 years of marriage, but then I always reminded myself that those couples never fought everything and everybody, like I did, to win and rise above those who never fight themselves down to win and rise.

Always remember from me: you may love with the heart    which is blind, handy, childish, hormonal and the easiest thing to do, but to win, you must love with the mind which is tricky, joyous, profitable and by willful choice.   

Don't seek perfection because it will lead you inevitably to the solitude.

Keep tryin that you will meet. A real love is something that compensates every effort.

serieux22 wrote:

Don't seek perfection because it will lead you inevitably to the solitude.

Hi there, 
Something nice to read:

Language... has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone.
Paul Tillich
==============

I personally use a more advanced concepts than solitude: uniqueness, originality, the first to do things, climbing to the top alone so as not share the glory of reaching it and the unobstructed view with anybody.
To love and help the world, one must not hate himself first.

alicesoster wrote:

I'm  young, but i don't belive in real love or perfect love.
I belive things change, everything changes, so the in love change too.
In this moment can be a real love, but  in other moment can not be.

Real love matures. Love which does not mature is a passing whim, a whisper gone with the wind into the winds ... 

Totally agree with you John, just want to say the same but instead of doing it I gave you a 

Primadonna wrote:

Totally agree with you John, just want to say the same but instead of doing it I gave you a 

Thank you. But why only one  when I believe I deserve more than one? 
If you look at this thread only, I correct rhymes of wonderful poems, I explain about 'solitude', I increase the number of posts, and I entertain Mal.

I even correct my very own statements.  Here it is:
"Real love matures. Love which does not mature is a passing whim, a whisper gone with the wind into the winds ...  it is ONE BIG LIE because, for mysterious reasons, Mother Nature sometimes makes us want to be lied to.
Love is not needed only for romantic mating, love is something we must always give just to never get back love in equal amounts.  And if we refuse to give, we are guaranteed to get nothing, not even the smallest amount back."

Primadonna, see how many things I do? I am just great.  When are all of you expats here going to worship me? 
What more do you require for me to do to prove myself an artful computer user? 

NO REAL LOVE IN THIS WORLD

Sorry, I can only once recommend your post.

And if you don't get more it means that nobody like it or forget to do it.

Primadonna wrote:

Sorry, I can only once recommend your post.

And if you don't get more it means that nobody like it or forget to do it.

Oh my, there are many things in this world, but no real, true, honest love ... 

rajathegreat wrote:

NO REAL LOVE IN THIS WORLD

Hi Rajat,

LOVE is there that you know....so dont bother about real or unreal love....just love....life is love....

regards,
Anil

yes love only love and one day you will find what you are looking for.