Staring
Last activity 19 May 2015 by DongThanh
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why do vnese stare so much? I walk in D1 and it seems so many eyes are in me, I notice people just watch me walk by and follow with their head turning, so now I've started to yell " amigo" which is Spanish for friend, every time I see someone staring.. Is thus normal ?
It's perfectly normal, you'll get used to it. Vietnamese are much less reserved in public. You may be told by complete strangers that you are fat or have bad skin. This is not rude, simply factual.
As an aside, I found something similar, but in reverse, when I first went to London from Sydney - strangers would not talk to you, on trains or in queues.
What you've noticed is just one small aspect of one of the fascinating facets of Vietnamese society - an honest and pragmatic people who see strangers as interesting, and aren't afraid to observe.
Unfortunately, this is true... people can stare at everyone even including me when walking by... of course you foreigners would find it more awkward and annoying... I think they are mostly curious... and note that most of those who often stare at foreigners/strangers are housewives/street vendors who have a lot of free time... so it's just become a habit/curiousness in their leisure... my advice is that you give them a smile and say hello... believe me they would immediately stop staring at you but either they get shy or they would smile with you and say hello to you back. Try it out and let me know what the result is, OK. Cheers
Jquinoq wrote:why do vnese stare so much? I walk in D1 and it seems so many eyes are in me, I notice people just watch me walk by and follow with their head turning, so now I've started to yell " amigo" which is Spanish for friend, every time I see someone staring.. Is thus normal ?
You're a "fish out of water." A normal human instinct to stare when they come across something out of the ordinary. No need to get paranoid or upset about it.
Parmyd wrote:Jquinoq wrote:why do vnese stare so much? I walk in D1 and it seems so many eyes are in me, I notice people just watch me walk by and follow with their head turning, so now I've started to yell " amigo" which is Spanish for friend, every time I see someone staring.. Is thus normal ?
You're a "fish out of water." A normal human instinct to stare when they come across something out of the ordinary. No need to get paranoid or upset about it.
So being Hispanic, 189cm tall and 112 kilo. Doesn't really help my cause?
Thu_N wrote:Unfortunately, this is true... people can stare at everyone even including me when walking by... of course you foreigners would find it more awkward and annoying... I think they are mostly curious... and note that most of those who often stare at foreigners/strangers are housewives/street vendors who have a lot of free time... so it's just become a habit/curiousness in their leisure... my advice is that you give them a smile and say hello... believe me they would immediately stop staring at you but either they get shy or they would smile with you and say hello to you back. Try it out and let me know what the result is, OK. Cheers
Love this advise ,,,,,,I'll smile back and just ignore the rest......
This is how we Asian feel back in Euro/ Germany. I love it when my friends visiting me being starred at so they know how it is to be the outsider.
But its just we are curious and everything new is something to stare at. Dont take it personal. They even stare at me since im a viet kieu, tall and dont look vietnamese.
And yeah the truth telling is rude. My relatives and their friends tell me im too fat, too tall and ohhh I should get married soon...
missmae wrote:But its just we are curious and everything new is something to stare at. Dont take it personal. They even stare at me since im a viet kieu, tall and dont look vietnamese.
This is true, they stare at my husband who is Viet kieu because they don't know he can speak Vietnamese. (in thei defense he's half Korean and looks full Korean. )
It's normal if you are a foreigner
But by the way, why are you stare on them?
Let me add my 400 VND worth. This is not just a Vietnamese characteristic. I've been in Chengdu, Wuhan and Langzhong China for the past two weeks and I get the same looks. Most of the stares I get are from the older generation since most younger kids (20-somethings) don't look aware from their phones for more than 2 seconds at a time). I just look them in the eyes, smile and greet them with "ni hao". Sometimes they look away, but sometimes I get a smile back and the return greeting. Take it in stride and make it fun if you can. You just never know the impact of mutual respect in the native tongue might have, presuming of course you can say hello in VN and they understand your spanemeze hahahaha
Good_Man wrote:Let me add my 400 VND worth. This is not just a Vietnamese characteristic. I've been in Chengdu, Wuhan and Langzhong China for the past two weeks and I get the same looks. Most of the stares I get are from the older generation since most younger kids (20-somethings) don't look aware from their phones for more than 2 seconds at a time). I just look them in the eyes, smile and greet them with "ni hao". Sometimes they look away, but sometimes I get a smile back and the return greeting. Take it in stride and make it fun if you can. You just never know the impact of mutual respect in the native tongue might have, presuming of course you can say hello in VN and they understand your spanemeze hahahaha
This phenomenon is referred to as the "Asian stare", I became use to it while still in US by living in Asian dominated areas. Take it as a compliment they find you interesting.
oh man, this is fun part, just do as Thu_N suggested, smile and say "Xin chào" or hello...
I would smile say hello and in some cases wave at them ... It totally freaks them out..
I am 5'8" (172cm) and also have Blonde hair and Blue eyes so I stick out like a sore thumb. After smiling and waving, sometimes a Vietnamese person would some would come up to me and start either talking to me in broken English or ask my wife if she was a mail-order bride...
My wife and I spent a lot of time out of the backpack areas where the local are not used to seeing us 'white bois'...
A smile is universal and it is amazing what it can do...
Good Luck
The staring is something I've gotten over but the lack of respect for personal space is something else....as a young American girl it REALLY makes me uncomfortable when xe ôm drivers will grab at me/caress my arm to try to get me onto their motorbikes....one guy even grabbed my hand, interlocking our fingers in an attempt to walk me across the street when I said I only wanted to get to the other side of the road....so for me, as long as they're JUST LOOKING, they can stare all they want- just keep your hands to yourself.
kntrinh wrote:The staring is something I've gotten over but the lack of respect for personal space is something else....as a young American girl it REALLY makes me uncomfortable when xe ôm drivers will grab at me/caress my arm to try to get me onto their motorbikes....one guy even grabbed my hand, interlocking our fingers in an attempt to walk me across the street when I said I only wanted to get to the other side of the road....so for me, as long as they're JUST LOOKING, they can stare all they want- just keep your hands to yourself.
Hahaha this bugs me too. I've had Vietnamese grandmas try and snatch my baby out of my hand. Vnese have no sense of stranger danger.
i get stared at because i am very very handsome, so the bar girls tell me
I think here in Vietnam, staring is normal. At first, it is very irritating and annoying but after a year it's pretty normal to me now. and one more good thing, most of Vietnamese thought i am one of them so i can hang out in the park whenever i want, without students trying to practise their English skills with me.
Happy8888 wrote:Yes , and we all know that Bargirls only speak the truth
You mean they have been lying to me all this time?
just ze wear ze mask
Just came back from VN and felt very uncomfortable from the stares.
Stare back and smile. It does work:)
About the private space. Didnt happen to me yet, only been asked :Moto? Moto?
I shake my head, smile and go... Problem solved
Haha you're really lucky! Or maybe I just have the bad luck of always running into the most creepy xe ôm drivers ever...I always get grabbed on the buses too....the ticket collectors always have to be very handsy when 'helping' me on or off the bus....then again I might be asking for it by wearing non-conservative American clothes....but it's just too hot to walk around in jeans/sweaters/gloves/masks like the locals do D:
my ex-GF had the same experience in China. service men would grope when assisting her at tourist areas. staring is not considered taboo here. kinda like picking your nose in public i see often - once from my waitress.
We just moved here from Chengdu where it was a daily occurrence to have my picture taken, not to mention be stared at. And believe me, it's not because I am in the beauty queen category, or have more than one nose! I had an instance in a grocery store, that was in more of the foreigner neighborhood, where this little girl standing about 5 feet away from me, turned and started pointing and yelling,"LAO WAI! LAO WAI!" to her amused female relatives delight." Lao wai," (one of the nicer terms for foreigner) I looked at her smilled and said,"yes, I am!" I got to the point where I would photobomb my own photos-at least the ones that people would try to take in stealth mode. People would try to act like they were posing while standing right next to me, or me and my husband. At the appropriate moment, I would try to turn my face into their photo and smile and wave. What else to do? We are curiosities there, and looking/watching is something that seems to be culturally accepted if not encouraged in general. I was pleasantly surprised that although there is some of that 'staring' here in Vietnam, it's nothing like it was in Chengdu. Smiling seems to be a good practice no matter what.
OBB wrote:kinda like picking your nose in public i see often - once from my waitress.
That's the only time pointing is not considered rude. When it is pointed in your nose.
hahahah, FUNNY but true!
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MIA2013 wrote:When in Rome, do as the Romans. Stare right back.
My brother did that once when out with his VN girlfriend, she quickly told him to stop it. He stated that the VN guy was staring at him, she siad thats ok he is VN you are not. Go figure.
MIA2013 wrote:When in Rome, do as the Romans. Stare right back.
I drive on the wrong side of the road while texting on my phone at night with no headlights on when I leave a restaurant really drunk.
How's that for Roman? : )
jimbream wrote:MIA2013 wrote:When in Rome, do as the Romans. Stare right back.
I drive on the wrong side of the road while texting on my phone at night with no headlights on when I leave a restaurant really drunk.
How's that for Roman? : )
Very true Jimbream. I love how the locals get angry when you get in their road whilst they are driving on the wrong side. Where are the police....sleeping as usual.
@ henjohn > Can you please post in english on this english speaking forum please, it will help everybody to understand.
Thank you,
Priscilla
Expat.com team
That's true. I once saw this lady at the open meat market picking her nose while cutting meat. I didn't buy the meat. That's why I advocate staring back.
hahaha...!! I think that is VERY NORMAL here..
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