Menu
Expat.com

Meeting parents

Last activity 08 May 2014 by MarkinNam

Post new topic

MrshyONE

:unsure   I am meeting the parents of A woman I am very interested in for a long term relationship. I would like to make an impression but nit seem to over the top. What small jesters or gifts are allowed to give her parents on the fist visits. I know it sound like a stupid question, but vnese culture is different than Hispanic culture...  Appreciate any advice.....

Thiery Henrry

When you are in vietnam, do as vietnamses do. A small girft would be nice. It can be fruits or a bottle of wise if there are some men in her family. you should't talk so much about yourseft and your country at first excetp you are asked, in constrast, you should ask about them. Make your self at home, be friendly. If you can speak vietnamese that will be an advantage. if not, try to learn somes. it shows that you are interested in their culture. And most vietnameses are interested in the way the foreingers speak their language.

treesahquiche

They may ask personal questions that seem very rude to Westerners, like how much money you or your family makes, or what religion you are. They might comment very frankly on your appearance (I get told I'm fat all the time by Vietnamese women around my mother's age, even though in America I'm considered thin, and also get a lot of comments on how dark my skin is). Don't be offended! This is very normal. Just smile and be polite. If you really do feel uncomfortable, just give as vague an answer as possible and change the subject.

milkybunnyHCM

Alcohol, fancy tea cakes, some imported goodie you think they'll like.

Make sure to greet everyone in order of age. Doesn't have to be in Viet but it'll give them something to laugh at if you try. Viets enjoy pointing out every single thing about your appearance and mannerisms, so just smile and take it.

FreshVN

congrats, this is the important step because some part of Vietnamese will consider your first apparence/impression.

Just tell us where they're from - your friend's parents? then we can tell you to do things suitably.

Eg:
If they're from the North, you will see them quite strict sometimes, and first apparence/impression will be considered.
They will also care about the way you talking, eating.. -these sound severe but don't too much worried, you can make a good first meeting, if you can be confident, diplomatic, funny (sometimes), not too rude, or do sth "not-smart" ^^

If they're from the Centre, a bit likely same with the North, but people from Centre are normally hard working, and truthful (people from everywhere are - but people here consider thess criterions are the most). beside you should be not too stingy, but should NOT be too extravagant- they mostly hate this.

From the South, just be generous, and funny, friendly, especially Gentle.

Good luck, friend!

Fresh..

born2share

Vietnamese parents are usually friendly. Just act as shy as you're :P it would be alright, don't worry a lot.

MrshyONE

They live in Tan Phu area in HCM.   I'm taking her father a bottle Of Coppola wine , her mom some orchids with cake.......good ?

Yuli_nguyen

MrshyONE wrote:

They live in Tan Phu area in HCM.   I'm taking her father a bottle Of Coppola wine , her mom some orchids with cake.......good ?


Sure, They are good. Take it easy, bring small gifts as you are intending...polite, smile, take care ur girlfriend....I think like that...her parents will pleasure and happy.

Good luck & Cheer.

Yuli

Saigon.Pete

treesahquiche wrote:

They may ask personal questions that seem very rude to Westerners, like how much money you or your family makes, or what religion you are. They might comment very frankly on your appearance (I get told I'm fat all the time by Vietnamese women around my mother's age, even though in America I'm considered thin, and also get a lot of comments on how dark my skin is). Don't be offended! This is very normal. Just smile and be polite. If you really do feel uncomfortable, just give as vague an answer as possible and change the subject.


Thanks, that will help me out.  I've encountered those personal questions in Thailand.  I just have to learn to go with the flow.

Happy8888

I agree with the personal comments , what we would seem rather rude and obtrusive in the west is perfectly normal . Dont do what I did and buy some flowers on my way there , only to discover that the ones I bought are only to be put on gravestones , GULP !!!!

spajcte

treesahquiche wrote:
They may ask personal questions that seem very rude to Westerners, like how much money you or your family makes, or what religion you are. They might comment very frankly on your appearance (I get told I'm fat all the time by Vietnamese women around my mother's age, even though in America I'm considered thin, and also get a lot of comments on how dark my skin is). Don't be offended! This is very normal. Just smile and be polite. If you really do feel uncomfortable, just give as vague an answer as possible and change the subject.

THIS IS FUNNY ...  asked this viet girl/woman how old she was.....
guess what her answered was? 
"sorry, thats personal"   i wanted to screamed to the top of my lungs
(Moderated: no offensive language here pls) really!!!! you telling me (viet girl) thats to personal... you serious!!!
hi hi hi hi

Saratran

you're very humorous. hihi :D

mikeymyke

Saratran wrote:

you're very humorous. hihi :D


You should say "You're very funny" :)

Saratran

thanks very much! Can u give me an explanation? I don't know why we should use that sentence ? I'm so confused :(

MarkinNam

treesahquiche wrote:

They may ask personal questions that seem very rude to Westerners, like how much money you or your family makes, or what religion you are. They might comment very frankly on your appearance (I get told I'm fat all the time by Vietnamese women around my mother's age, even though in America I'm considered thin, and also get a lot of comments on how dark my skin is). Don't be offended! This is very normal. Just smile and be polite. If you really do feel uncomfortable, just give as vague an answer as possible and change the subject.


even comment about size of your nose ( are you French?)

MarkinNam

mikeymyke wrote:
Saratran wrote:

you're very humorous. hihi :D


You should say "You're very funny" :)


why? :)

Articles to help you in your expat project in Ho Chi Minh City

All of Ho Chi Minh City's guide articles