what is true love with Vietnamese girl?

Dejavu.dot wrote:

May you define what is "cheating"?

You said "many girls have been cheated by foreigners" which typically means cheated out of money or property, which doesn't seem very likely to me.  Is that not what you meant?

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

May you define what is "cheating"?

You said "many girls have been cheated by foreigners" which typically means cheated out of money or property, which doesn't seem very likely to me.  Is that not what you meant?

Cheating love and hurting lasts for years or whole life. Money can't fill in those pain. I don't mean those girls who are attracted by foreigners and just play for money but there is real love existing. Just some of us are loved back by the love we give.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

Cheating love and hurting lasts for years or whole life. Money can't fill in those pain. I don't mean those girls who are attracted by foreigners and just play for money but there is real love existing. Just some of us are loved back by the love we give.

Then you're getting into a much more complicated topic.  There are many reasons why relationships don't succeed, and when it involves a foreigner and a Vietnamese person, long distance and the difficulty obtaining visas to be together is very common.  It could very well be that these foreigners you mention have no ability to earn a living in Vietnam, or the ability to bring the woman to their home country, as it's not easy.  I would not jump to the conclusion that they have somehow cheated the Vietnamese women as sometimes things just don't go as planned.

Yes- The visa situation to bring my wife home is long, boring, and extremely expensive. I can understand why some relationships would break down over this issue only.

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

Cheating love and hurting lasts for years or whole life. Money can't fill in those pain. I don't mean those girls who are attracted by foreigners and just play for money but there is real love existing. Just some of us are loved back by the love we give.

Then you're getting into a much more complicated topic.  There are many reasons why relationships don't succeed, and when it involves a foreigner and a Vietnamese person, long distance and the difficulty obtaining visas to be together is very common.  It could very well be that these foreigners you mention have no ability to earn a living in Vietnam, or the ability to bring the woman to their home country, as it's not easy.  I would not jump to the conclusion that they have somehow cheated the Vietnamese women as sometimes things just don't go as planned.

If they disappear and no contact any longer, is that called cheating?

Dejavu.dot wrote:

If they disappear and no contact any longer, is that called cheating?

No, I wouldn't describe that as cheating.

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

If they disappear and no contact any longer, is that called cheating?

No, I wouldn't describe that as cheating.

For our culture, it is cheating.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

For our culture, it is cheating.

I'm sure you believe that;  I'm not sure others in your culture do.

I can't help it if you choose to view yourself as a victim of cheating simply because a man disappears, but I still fail to see how this compares to women who manipulate (perhaps gullible) men into giving them money and/or property.  You said "many girls have been cheated by foreigners".  Perhaps you could give a specific example of one -- which should be easy since there are so many.

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

For our culture, it is cheating.

I'm sure you believe that;  I'm not sure others in your culture do.

I can't help it if you choose to view yourself as a victim of cheating simply because a man disappears, but I still fail to see how this compares to women who manipulate (perhaps gullible) men into giving them money and/or property.  You said "many girls have been cheated by foreigners".  Perhaps you could give a specific example of one -- which should be easy since there are so many.

I wonder if I can correct something above? I haven't been in those cases.

Back to the main point, do you think Vietnamese girls cheat those unlucky foreigners? If yes, why do you think so?

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I wonder if I can correct something above? I haven't been in those cases.

Ok, I'm glad to hear there aren't many women who've been cheated by foreigners.  Misled and disappointed, sure. 

Back to the main point, do you think Vietnamese girls cheat those unlucky foreigners? If yes, why do you think so?

No, I don't think so.  I think any person, foreigner or not, who decides to give money and/or property to someone else most likely did so willingly and if they never see it again, then the responsibility is on them.  Even in the US, if a man gives money or property to a woman and she decides to leave, it's very unlikely the man will get it back.   The man might be bitter about it, but he wasn't cheated.  I don't see why the situation should be viewed differently in Vietnam.

That being said, I'm sure there have been situations where a house and/or business was built using a foreigner's money, and it was put in the Vietnamese woman's name (because that's the law) and then she dumped him, and kept everything.  Was the man cheated by the woman?  I'd say no, since he knew that could happen, and he spent the money anyhow.

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

I wonder if I can correct something above? I haven't been in those cases.

Ok, I'm glad to hear there aren't many women who've been cheated by foreigners.  Misled and disappointed, sure. 

Back to the main point, do you think Vietnamese girls cheat those unlucky foreigners? If yes, why do you think so?

No, I don't think so.  I think any person, foreigner or not, who decides to give money and/or property to someone else most likely did so willingly and if they never see it again, then the responsibility is on them.  Even in the US, if a man gives money or property to a woman and she decides to leave, it's very unlikely the man will get it back.   The man might be bitter about it, but he wasn't cheated.  I don't see why the situation should be viewed differently in Vietnam.

That being said, I'm sure there have been situations where a house and/or business was built using a foreigner's money, and it was put in the Vietnamese woman's name (because that's the law) and then she dumped him, and kept everything.  Was the man cheated by the woman?  I'd say no, since he knew that could happen, and he spent the money anyhow.

I have to agree with you. There is no cheating here. When a man always satisfies a woman by money, he will have a material girl. We have the same rules in friendships. Money is a sensitive thing. Some people use it to challenge or choose people who will be close to them. Some people throw money out of the window for the short happiness and then complain about how bad people are. We need wise love.

Business can be possessed by foreigners. Besides each foreigner can possess 1 apartment in Vietnam for 50 years since 2009. For Vietnamese, they can also be possess apartments for 50 years only. So there is no differences  between a foreigner or a Vietnamese. It seems I have heard that foreigners can possess lands too. (I wish I knew another word to use instead of " foreigners". That makes differences)

I guess the rule will be looser in 2015 or 2016 for foreigners to  possess houses because the real estate is not so good. My classmate's uncle just bought an apartment for 25 000$ while the real price is $50 000.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

Business can be possessed by foreigners. I have built up some business like that. Besides each foreigner can possess 1 apartment in Vietnam for 50 years since 2009. For Vietnamese, they can also be possess apartments for 50 years only. So there is no differences  between a foreigner or a Vietnamese. It seems I have heard that foreigners can possess lands too. (I wish I knew another word to use instead of " foreigners". That makes differences)

I think you mean businesses can be possesed by foreigners, if they have a Vietnamese partner, right?  I don't believe I can hold a business in Vietnam in my name only.

Also, foreigners have more restrictions on rental properties.  i.e., we can rent them for ourselves, but not for the purpose of income.

I guess the rule will be looser in 2015 or 2016 for foreigners to  possess houses because the real estate is not so good. My classmate's uncle just bought an apartment for 25 000$ while the real price is $50 000.

I would be interested in purchasing a house in HCMC with the purpose of having a business on the ground floor and tenants above -- but I doubt Vietnam will let me do that any time soon.

I personally think more Viet girls are lied to by foreigners than the other way around. Most of the men who come here are on holiday or are here for a very short period of time. They're looking for a good time and have no problem telling women what they want to hear in order to get what they want. But that's no different than anywhere else in the world. I think the different here is that the women are more desperate to believe the men. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of girls who scam foreigners but I think it's a much small percentage. It also depends on where you are. In D1, Nha Trang, Vung Tau, and other tourist areas you'll have a higher percentage of the latter.

The bottom line is everyone is responsible for protecting their own "assets", whatever they may be. 

DanFromSF wrote:

I think you mean businesses can be possesed by foreigners, if they have a Vietnamese partner, right?  I don't believe I can hold a business in Vietnam in my name only.

Also, foreigners have more restrictions on rental properties.  i.e., we can rent them for ourselves, but not for the purpose of income.

I guess the rule will be looser in 2015 or 2016 for foreigners to  possess houses because the real estate is not so good. My classmate's uncle just bought an apartment for 25 000$ while the real price is $50 000.

I would be interested in purchasing a house in HCMC with the purpose of having a business on the ground floor and tenants above -- but I doubt Vietnam will let me do that any time soon.

Those companies  do not have Vietnamese partners.  I just checked the law again. You can buy a house here but you have to build up a company first + live here for 1 year at least.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

Those companies I have built up do not have Vietnamese partners.  I just checked the law again. You can buy a house here but you have to build up a company first + live here for 1 year at least.

That's interesting;  I did not know that.  What about renting a house and then having a business on the ground floor and tenants above?  Can a foreigner do that without having a Vietnamese partner?

DanFromSF wrote:

That's interesting;  I did not know that.  What about renting a house and then having a business on the ground floor and tenants above?  Can a foreigner do that without having a Vietnamese partner?

Yes you can 100%.

Ok, I'm not familiar with how to do that.  Do you help people set up companies?

Vietnam has joined WTO for years so the rules are more open-minded. The importance is money.

DanFromSF wrote:

Ok, I'm not familiar with how to do that.  Do you help people set up companies?

Yes. somehow and I don't do that because of money.

Well, I do know a French guy who rented a house in D1, opened a sandwich shop on the ground floor and has tenants on the upper floors.  He has positive cashflow from tenants alone, and so his sandwich shop operates rent-free.  However, he has a Viet Kieu partner (who is also from France and works at the sandwich shop).  I'd like to do something like this.

DanFromSF wrote:

Well, I do know a French guy who rented a house in D1, opened a sandwich shop on the ground floor and has tenants on the upper floors.  He has positive cashflow from tenants alone, and so his sandwich shop operates rent-free.  However, he has a Viet Kieu partner (who is also from France and works at the sandwich shop).  I'd like to do something like this.

The law for Viet Kieu has been looser like foreigners. I can tell you that you can corporate with anyone you want or even manage it  by yourself.

Dejavu.dot wrote:

Yes. somehow and I don't do that because of money.

Ok, I'll buy the coffee if you want to chat sometime in the near future.  I'll PM you.

DanFromSF wrote:

Dejavu.dot wrote:

Yes. somehow and I don't do that because of money.

Ok, I'll buy the coffee if you want to chat sometime in the near future.  I'll PM you.

No need to buy the coffee for me cos I don't drink coffee lol. I will help you if I am still in Vietnam.

Thank you for your lovely artical on this subject. My recent companion abandon me for a young Veitnameis girl ....only to gain access to a Visa in Veitnam. How sad it is to use these young girls for such needs as this. Look for other ways to gain your Visa and stop giving Veitnam and their young girls a bad name.

peterpipercorn wrote:

Thank you for your lovely artical on this subject. My recent companion abandon me for a young Veitnameis girl ....only to gain access to a Visa in Veitnam. How sad it is to use these young girls for such needs as this. Look for other ways to gain your Visa and stop giving Veitnam and their young girls a bad name.

Can you explain more?  What nationality is your recent companion?  Is the Vietnamese girl getting anything in return (money, a US Visa, etc.)?

Hello and I am please to write you back on this subject!  My subject matter is a U.S.A citizen and yes to your question and many more yes,yes,yes! She will aptain an American Visa soon ,...as they are both planning to live  abroad for a year or so. Although,she will receive many benefits in this matrimony , including his Military benefits,....I can only imagine what truly lays ahead for this  young girl.

peterpipercorn wrote:

I can only imagine what truly lays ahead for this  young girl.

Thanks for sharing your story.  If you'd like to be helpful to others on the forum, you ought to give some details.  For example, what do you imagine lies ahead for this young girl?  Also, what does he get from this arrangement?

peterpipercorn wrote:

Hello and I am please to write you back on this subject!  My subject matter is a U.S.A citizen and yes to your question and many more yes,yes,yes! She will aptain an American Visa soon ,...as they are both planning to live  abroad for a year or so. Although,she will receive many benefits in this matrimony , including his Military benefits,....I can only imagine what truly lays ahead for this  young girl.

Damn. She's got it made then. All she has to do is claim he's abusing her and she's living on easy street. Once she get implemented into the Viet community where she lives she'll learn all the ropes. In The States she's holding all the cards. Another Viet dream fulfilled. 

PS Sounds like peterpipercom is nursing a broken heart.

They would both have a lot of USCIS hoops to jump through, and he's in far greater danger than she is if they determine it's a fraudulent marriage.  I hope he's well-compensated, for his sake.

Other than their romantic introlude,she will share the excitement of his past conviction. Yes,I am nursing a broken heart, and for this ,no more will be said on this topic or the mention of his conviction.

If he's an ex-con, then hopefully he's paid his debt to society, and he has a right to move on and be happy.  However, if he's still a trouble-maker then in it sounds like this young girl is doing you a favor and you're better off without him.

To a gratefully topic ending, and a new beginning to a delightful conversationalist!  I define you as a profound speaker and one that is  valuable to this site.Thank you!

Oh, thank you for the kind words.   

Jamesheng your right on the button in your summing up of the relationships of wants and needs!!

"When you think about sweet relation they think about best solution.
When you think about win win they think about I win you loss.
When you think about give and take they think about take first give later."

In general, no one is wrong. Is just different expectation.

I move very cautiously in Vietnam and Thailand. I've been burned and that changes everything you do in the future with the ladies.  They definitely have a very driven agenda. The more educated the lady is and with her own business puts you on a more even playing field for a relationship that you don't have to support a needy lady because she is lazy to create an income of her own or have the ability to obtain an education.

Interesting topic...
As I can see for what you're discussing here is a taking advantages relationship, it's nothing about true love.
I feel sorry for those who just met girls trying to be you with some other purposes, not because of love. But I'm sure that lots of pretty, nice Vietnamese girls out there they love their boyfriend (Foreigners as you're mentioning) with their own heart, just because of they're in love not because of his money or some stupid papers.
Why don't anyone saying about foreigners cheating Vietnamese girls? Interesting also, isn't it?
Such as an engaged/ married man coming to Vietnam for his job, trying to lie to the girl that he's still single, that he loves her..blah blah blah.. His purpose is just for fun as it's new and lonely for him to start living at Vietnam.Then later, when she's deeply in love, he dump her as he finished his career at Vietnam. He gave her a broken heart.. Let's think about it.

My point is, true love is not easy to find. I'm sure that everyone want to find the true love of their life. The reason for cheating or being treated, taking advantages or taking advantages is that sometimes we cannot control our mind and our heart and some how we let it happens. Just hope that we have lots of luck in our life and wise mind to see everything

[Moderated: inappropriate]

Forget the pass and learn you lesson.
Forgive them, they are your teacher after all.
Keep your heart open.
Your lucky days will come only when you are ready...

Adhome01 wrote:

I personally think more Viet girls are lied to by foreigners than the other way around. Most of the men who come here are on holiday or are here for a very short period of time. They're looking for a good time and have no problem telling women what they want to hear in order to get what they want. But that's no different than anywhere else in the world. I think the different here is that the women are more desperate to believe the men. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of girls who scam foreigners but I think it's a much small percentage. It also depends on where you are. In D1, Nha Trang, Vung Tau, and other tourist areas you'll have a higher percentage of the latter.

The bottom line is everyone is responsible for protecting their own "assets", whatever they may be. 

what are you even talking about?! i've been living here in VN for nearly 3 years and totally disagree with you. What do you mean by us foreigners lying to these vietnamese local girls about getting what "we" want? If a foreigner is here short-time and a vietnamese girl is willing to go out with you, MOST of the time she already KNOWS she better get something out of it such as money. Theres also the coffee shop girls/nightclub girls who will "pretend" that they like you but all they want is your money, a red attila motorbike, or an IPHONE5S. This type of shit happens all the time, and also happens to most of my friends here in Vietnam. But there are also a lot of well-educated vietnamese girls here in vietnam to meet!! I also do respect some poor Vietnamese girls here, they work a full-time job and barely make anything!!

i see you are new to the blog.. I'm so glad you are with us looking forward to reading your views..

why have to be ashamed ? Who do the wrong things, that need to take their responsibility, if you do nothing wrong so you need to proud of your self. Dont think that all foreigners are rich. I saw and know many poor men from oversea who come to Vietnam to live with their small amount that they could not live in their own country, they even ask for help from Vietnamese people.
I am very proud of myself because i am a Vietnamese girl.

Normally, the poor people are get very high respect themselves. So i dont agree with you that dont get married to the poor girl.
"They are too poor and need money to help family"
I think the marriage have to base in love, not base in money so if fall in love with a poor lady, is it wrong? I think maybe you are lucky that you were born in a rich family so you dont understand the poor people, normally the people who full of their stomach, they never understand how the hungry is. So i think you never poor so you never understand the poor people.