what is true love with Vietnamese girl?

Love always have stories !   my first time love broke up when i was 25, i have to learn how to forget ,forgive and accept real in life as she gone to    abroad,  that is better way    to live ! .many years later i met my wife and got married even don't love ,she doesn't beautiful ,doesn't have money and she asked me if i leave her one day ? never ! i said .We don't have money ,don't have a car ,don't have a big house !but my house full of laugh and when i got home .a wife standing at doorway while two kids running out and cheering : pa pa coming back ! that enough for me !

chinhngo wrote:

why have to be ashamed ? Who do the wrong things, that need to take their responsibility, if you do nothing wrong so you need to proud of your self. Dont think that all foreigners are rich. I saw and know many poor men from oversea who come to Vietnam to live with their small amount that they could not live in their own country, they even ask for help from Vietnamese people.
I am very proud of myself because i am a Vietnamese girl.

Normally, the poor people are get very high respect themselves. So i dont agree with you that dont get married to the poor girl.
"They are too poor and need money to help family"
I think the marriage have to base in love, not base in money so if fall in love with a poor lady, is it wrong? I think maybe you are lucky that you were born in a rich family so you dont understand the poor people, normally the people who full of their stomach, they never understand how the hungry is. So i think you never poor so you never understand the poor people.

You are absolutely right, sis. I strongly feel that her facebook is full of status updates and pictures like many youth who does not have many experiences. They look at the windows and think that everything is better than their home. After those opinions, I don't think she can understand but she still has a lot of time to understand this. She is not the only one who thinks like this and maybe 70% Vietnamese have the same thought. That makes big discrimination between foreigners and Vietnamese. I don't know if foreigners like this discrimination or not but I usually see they usually  spend much more than a Vietnamese. I feel pity for them and for us. I don't like using the word " foreigner" either because it makes discrimination.

However it is, this topic is a bridge for foreigners to understand Vietnamese and vice versa if they don't consider this forum a place to complain but " UNDERSTANDING".

Beautifully spoken like a raindrop falling  from the sky with beautiful words stored in each little raindrop!

peterpipercorn wrote:

Beautifully spoken like a raindrop falling  from the sky with beautiful words stored in each little raindrop!

J really liked finally hearing one VN person say we should all stop trying to categorize every person into either a Vietnamese or a foreigner!   Very good!

Sassy!

poor girls nearly always marry only for money - that is a fact !

Well if you was a poor girl, you would do the same i guess?

Jeff Brewster wrote:

Well if you was a poor girl, you would do the same i guess?

Maybe true, but the point of these Expat threads is for the more experienced in the country to make such points clear to new or would-be expats coming to Vietnam.
That is the one main purpose of this forum, not to trying to avoid offending one of thousands of poverty stricken girls who seeks a source of income for herself, her illegitimate child and her dependent relatives.
...to put it bluntly.

Women from all countrys marry man for security. This is not a new thing, its been going on for thousends of years. If these new arrivals to Vietnam havent herd of this, then they should have stayed at home with mummy. The girls Viets are no worse than anyother girls. You should see the girls in Europe throwing themselfs at footballers, or celebraties, why.? Because they want a sports car, dimonds, big house,and to eat in the best restarants,  and all the rest of the material things that go with hubbys big income. One of Englands footballers was asked,, what you be if you wasent a famous footballer,,, and he replyed a Virgin. Need i say more.

I see many taxi girl working the foreigners in Nha Trang. Alot of them have two or three so called boyfreinds living abrord sending money every month. They meet them in Nha Trang spend a week or two with them, tell them that they love them, ofcourse this is the best news ever to them. One night they go to bed looking like jabba the hut, and the next day they think they have turned into A love God. If these people are so gulable, and belive this shit, then i cant help them and nigther can anyone else. The game is called prostitution, its the oldest game in the world, and played all over the world. The thing is some men arnt very good at it. An old saying,, theres no fool, like an old fool. A fool and his money are soon parted. So if any foreigners are thinking about coming to Vietnam and are fat old ugly, your still ganna be fat old ugly while your in Vietnam, no matter what any girl tells you. On the flip side, you can still have a great time here.

Several Vietnamese are much richer than foreigners. It's only discrimination to say we get married to foreigners because of money. Why doesn't anyone say: foreigners marry us to get working permit in Vietnam, because they are paid more in Vietnam than in their countries?

Natalie_Tran wrote:

Several Vietnamese are much richer than foreigners. It's only discrimination to say we get married to foreigners because of money. Why doesn't anyone say: foreigners marry us to get working permit in Vietnam, because they are paid more in Vietnam than in their countries?

In that case can you tell me why the local girls marry fat old ugly Westerners, if not for their money? It can hardly be for their good looks.

Natalie_Tran wrote:

Several Vietnamese are much richer than foreigners. It's only discrimination to say we get married to foreigners because of money. Why doesn't anyone say: foreigners marry us to get working permit in Vietnam, because they are paid more in Vietnam than in their countries?

Several, means  two or three. Theres more than 90 million vietnamise, and there is a lot of very rich ones. Unfortunatly there is also alot of very poor ones. There is a very big divide in Vietnam between the haves, and the have nots. So much for communisam, you are living in a capitalist country now, where greed will be the down fall.

Foreigners are not eligible to obtain a work permit when they married with a Vietnamese citizen 

Natalie_Tran wrote:

foreigners marry us to get working permit in Vietnam

@ Natalie_Tran
And I am quite sure the Vietnamese, who are much richer than foreigners, will select their future wives with a lot of care to make sure they are suitable for the position they will take in the extended family.

charmavietnam wrote:

Foreigners are not eligible to obtain a work permit when they married with a Vietnamese citizen 

Natalie_Tran wrote:

foreigners marry us to get working permit in Vietnam

True. I have been told about an expat. He has lived here and has a family with 2 children but still had pay after 3 months to able to  live in Vietnam

You are wrong.

Who is wrong em oi?

chinhngo wrote:

You are wrong.

chinhngo wrote:

You are wrong.

OK - I'm an expat.    Married to a truly wonderful Vietnamese lady for going on 5, nearly 6 years now.
We live in Sai Gon and everything (besides today's weather !) works out very well.
I have to travel back the my old country every so often for medical treatment or surgical operations.
Can't get private health cover for pre-existing injuries and illnesses - which is fair enough.
It's FAR cheaper to fly out and back to Viet Nam when needing medical treatment than to pay the prices at FVN Hospital.  My wife insists that I fly out to whenever it's needed and is always waiting for me at Tân Sơn Nhất International Airport when I return.

Her family put me on the family books as a part owner and investor in the family businesses and plantations.
Everyone seems perfectly happy with this arrangement.
It's also a good excuse to get her to have a week or so off work and go with me for a holiday outside of Viet Nam.


If it isn't broken - don't fix it.

I just have lovesick he went away with another girl and lied to me :p. Even like that im still in love with him. Love and being in love is the greatest thing ever.,take ít like a flavor of life, enjoy in somehow and happy to move on. dunt try to forget ur love, let ít go and refresh for more emotion <3

ngoc anh nguyen thi wrote:

I just have lovesick he went away with another girl and lied to me :p. Even like that im still in love with him. Love and being in love is the greatest thing ever.,take ít like a flavor of life, enjoy in somehow and happy to move on. dunt try to forget ur love, let ít go and refresh for more emotion <3

When you get hurt this way - the only thing you can do is pick yourself up - get your head working properly again - LEARN from what happened and get on with your life. 
It certainly doesn't mean that you should give up on ever finding TRUE LOVE - or that every or anyone else you meet will treat you the same way.
That's my 2 cents worth anyway after losing 2 houses, cars, etc. a fortune in savings and investments - then finally, by pure accident, meeting the most wonderful LADY any man could ever hope to marry.

Many of us look toward a  relationship for  happiness ,which is not a new concept . If both attractiveness and beauty  complete the real meaning of love,then,what does that say about the  unattractive and not so beautiful?

Adhome01 , how very very true

El_Jost wrote:

In that case can you tell me why the local girls marry fat old ugly Westerners, if not for their money? It can hardly be for their good looks.

Then that man is not only ugly, but also stupid. Some keep telling that "Asian girls" only marry them for their money, WHY do they still marry "Asian girls", and blame "Asian girls" guilty.

Foreigners are not FORCED to get married to "Asian girls"!!!!

Jeff Brewster wrote:

Several, means  two or three. Theres more than 90 million vietnamise, and there is a lot of very rich ones. Unfortunatly there is also alot of very poor ones. There is a very big divide in Vietnam between the haves, and the have nots. So much for communisam, you are living in a capitalist country now, where greed will be the down fall.

"Communism" & "capitalism" are just names. The most important thing is how or what the government does for this country. It's like: it doesn't matter if your name is "Michael" or "Felix" - principally it's important that you're a good guy.

I don't know how is "poor" in your opinion but the prices in Hanoi are more expensive than in Germany and in big cities there're a lot of luxus cars like Mercedes, VW, Audi, Lamborghini etc. Parents send their children abroad for studying - it costs of course much money, but there're not only two or three going abroad. And most people in Vietnam don't live in villages, but in cites!!

charmavietnam wrote:

Foreigners are not eligible to obtain a work permit when they married with a Vietnamese citizen 

I don't care if they get a work permit or not. The point is: WHY do people blame "Asian girls" for marrying foreigners? Foreigners are not FORCED to get married to "Asian girls"!!!

love is blind so no need to be ashamed you need yo be proud, because they love your fellow countrymen.

trick03 wrote:

love is blind so no need to be ashamed you need yo be proud, because they love your fellow countrymen.

I wish I could believe on this.

You should correct your statements if you understood that you are wrong 
I agree that some foreigners, especially senior citizens want to marry Vietnamese girls for their long term stay here and they succeeded in obtaining a Visa Exemption Certificate(VEC) or even they are eligible (but not easy to get ) to apply for a Permanent Resident Card (PRC).
There is no relation between their marriage and 'love'. It's totally different.
If many people blaming, you should understand that you have some problem. You care or not that's the fact!
There are so many countries in the Asian continent  not only Philippines and Vietnam!
If you are a regular visitor in this site, you can see clearly that who take initiative to court expats in many ways. I didn't see many Vietnam boys here for that purpose. We are not blaming the country. It's not the problem of country. It's girls who want to become rich or get something by short cuts without doing anything for their family or for the society. Marrying a foreigner is not a sin or greedy if it done in proper way like normal people.

Natalie_Tran wrote:

I don't care if they get a work permit or not. The point is: WHY do people blame "Asian girls" for marrying foreigners? Foreigners are not FORCED to get married to "Asian girls"!!!

Jeff Brewster wrote:

So if any foreigners are thinking about coming to Vietnam and are fat old ugly, your still ganna be fat old ugly while your in Vietnam, no matter what any girl tells you. On the flip side, you can still have a great time here.

I'm really bored today and haven't posted in awhile, so I'll add, for you guys reading this who haven't been to Vietnam before, that if you meet a girl working in a bar where many foreign guys go, and you're fat, old and ugly, but she tells you you're handsome and wants to get to know you better, there will NEVER be true love with this girl. Don't fall for this - she only wants your money, no matter what she says or does! But as Jeff Brewster says, as long as you know this (don't ever forget it!!), there's nothing wrong with going out with the girl and having a good time. But it will cost you - take plenty of money. But let me say it again - she will never love you. I'm a married man with no skin in the game, but have sat at bars next to guys like me who were literally crying in their beer because they found out their bar-girl girlfriend didn't really love them. Boo-hoo...

My apologies to any Vietnamese bar girls who may read this, but I must ask... If you are a Vietnamese bar girl, WHY are you even reading an Expat forum???

Hi, I am a vietnamese too,
I agree with your opinion. Finding a true love really hard, especially with a beautifull girls
Thank for your share

What is true love with a Vietnamise girl,,,what is true love with any girl? Lots of marriges are called a marrige of conveneance. If you are a muslim your wife is chosen for you, you dont get to pick her. Is this a marrige of true love ??? It sort of works, as thrers not a lot of divorces in the muslim world. But that could do with the fact that the women is treated not much better than a dog. She has no rights, no say, no education, she is a cook, cleaner, and a baby factory in some countrys, and it would bring great shame on her family if she left her husband. Its quite possible she would be killed if she done such a thing. Lets not run away with the idear that true love will make everyone happy. Romance is normaly made in Hollywood, and its entertaining, but hardly relistic. We have to deal with the day to day problems of life. And being married is all about give and take. Not every day your going to wake up and feel your so in love that your heart will explode. Thats realy for teenage girls. In the real  world shit happens, and arguments happen, then you hate each other, and sometimes you want to kill each other. Then you calm down and everthingis ok. ( hopefully) . So whats your defenistion of true love??you do realise that there isent such a thing as a fairy, or a fairytail. NOT ON THIS PLANNET...

charmavietnam wrote:

There are so many countries in the Asian continent  not only Philippines and Vietnam!

Of course I know that.
I lived 6 years in Germany and people always called me "Chinese" or simply one of those called "Asian girls". I feel sorry for those who are called world champions of travel that they don't even know Asia is NOT a country. No one asked me "Where are you from?" - they began with "Are you Chinese?". And even after I told them I was Vietnamese, they kept talking about China and thinking all "Asian" were the same.

Didn't you see that I use quotation mark for those words?

Well - the thing ist: no one gossips about "the Whites" who marry each other, even if the woman doesn't have money. But if an "Asian girl" get married to "a White", even if she's richer than the man,  surely there will be many gossips. It's just the matter of DISCRIMINATION & RACISM.

saigonmonkey wrote:

My apologies to any Vietnamese bar girls who may read this, but I must ask... If you are a Vietnamese bar girl, WHY are you even reading an Expat forum???

If any bar girl can read and discuss in this forum in English, she's much more clever than most of expats who live/work in Vietnam and cannot speak Vietnamese. Just keep your sorry for those whose intelligence is not equal to even a Vietnamese bar girl. Nice sarcasm!

Natalie Tran.
You say you lived in Germany for six years, and no one asked you where are you from. Wow i find that extrodanry. Did you get out much? . Have you got a problem with the expats, or is it the whole world in genaral. Ive never met anyone who calls him or her self a world champion of travil. Some people go on holidays more than others. So whats a world champion of travil? How many countries must someone have visited to become a world champion. . A thousend years ago there wasent a Vietnam it was all Chinese. So if you can follow your familys history back that far, you are most probebly Chinese.

Seems like you are an 'experienced' one 
You are ignorant of many things even though you travel and lived other countries. Of course white people are victims of gossip! They are not exempted!

How many 'rich' Vietnamese married and live with white foreigner or black foreigner?
I saw clearly that Vietnamese girls upholding 'discrimination & racism' very tightly 
So don't bring that here in this forum. Instead you can discuss about the real topic!

Natalie_Tran wrote:

I lived 6 years in Germany.
Well - the thing ist: no one gossips about "the Whites" who marry each other, even if the woman doesn't have money. But if an "Asian girl" get married to "a White", even if she's richer than the man,  surely there will be many gossips. It's just the matter of DISCRIMINATION & RACISM.

minhlam wrote:

Hi, I am a vietnamese too,
I agree with your opinion. Finding a true love really hard, especially with a beautifull girls
Thank for your share

You talk about true love but at the same time you want a beautiful girl. What kind of true love is that?

Natalie_Tran wrote:

charmavietnam wrote:

There are so many countries in the Asian continent  not only Philippines and Vietnam!

Of course I know that.
I lived 6 years in Germany and people always called me "Chinese" or simply one of those called "Asian girls". I feel sorry for those who are called world champions of travel that they don't even know Asia is NOT a country. No one asked me "Where are you from?" - they began with "Are you Chinese?". And even after I told them I was Vietnamese, they kept talking about China and thinking all "Asian" were the same.

Sorry Natalie,

I lived over 30 years in Germany and it is really normal that they call to every Asian person that he or she is a chinese. And i am pretty sure that every person who grow up isn't by far that sensitive like you or many asian students who only live for a couple of years there. And i get used to it and always makes jokes about that or speak that intellectual that they didn't dare to go in a discussion with me. Cause the most of them are a) so undereducated that they clearly know that can't win a discussion or b) there are just kids. And Kids say rude things. Simple. No reason to be that sensitive.
It is no difference to the arabian looking people. Everybody called them Talibin or Al Qaida. So what? Its the stereotype thinking. Educate them and if it's only one person.

BtW: Until now i reall don't understand why so many vietnamese give them english/western names. I don't get it. I only can talk for the Vietnamese-German who grow up there for many years. We are proud of our origins and we all use our vietnamese names. And trust me. When they know name, they clearly know that you are a vietnamese. So why whining and blaming on others and talk about racism and giving yourself a foreigner name?That's just hypocritical. Don't feel offended but Germany is by far one of the friendliest Countries i know.

Jeff Brewster wrote:

Ive never met anyone who calls him or her self a world champion of travil. Some people go on holidays more than others. So whats a world champion of travil? How many countries must someone have visited to become a world champion.

I think you should practice reading comprehension. I never call myself "world champions of travel". Germans are worldwide famous as "world champions of travel" and I feel sorry for them that most of them don't understand that Asia is not a country, and that not every "Asian" ist Chinese.

Jeff Brewster wrote:

A thousend years ago there wasent a Vietnam it was all Chinese. So if you can follow your familys history back that far, you are most probebly Chinese.

You INSULT the whole country with this STUPID thought that shows you have no idea for history. We're not Chinese and don't even want to be Chinese. We've been trying to protect our country from Chinese for over 2000 years. China is our arch enemy and they're trying to take our islands. If you tell this to any Vietnamese at this time when Vietnamese protests against China are everywhere, you may get trouble.

charmavietnam wrote:

How many 'rich' Vietnamese married and live with white foreigner or black foreigner?
I saw clearly that Vietnamese girls upholding 'discrimination & racism' very tightly 

I don't care who gets married with whom, if it's because of love or not. That's their private thing.
It's just bothering to hear someone's talking about going to "Asia" to find some girls for fun, and that "Asian girls" get married to "the White" for money etc. Well ... it's the man who chooses to marry an "Asian girl". Don't talk like those girls were born to be whores just because they're "Asian". Again: THAT'S THE CHOICE OF THE WHITE MAN TO MARRY HER.

2step4life wrote:

I lived over 30 years in Germany and it is really normal that they call to every Asian person that he or she is a chinese. And i am pretty sure that every person who grow up isn't by far that sensitive like you or many asian students who only live for a couple of years there. And i get used to it and always makes jokes about that or speak that intellectual that they didn't dare to go in a discussion with me. Cause the most of them are a) so undereducated that they clearly know that can't win a discussion or b) there are just kids. And Kids say rude things. Simple. No reason to be that sensitive.

I don't think it's funny to call any "Asian" Chinese. Each nation has their origin as well as their own culture. I never call an American "German" because I don't want to insult him.

I can forgive undereducated people or kids for calling me "Chinese". But my fellow students are academician, namely tourism experts. And they never asked a correct question.
"Are you Chinese?" - "No"
"Do you speak Chinese?" - "No"
"But if people talk in Chines, you still understand them, right?"

Do you know the correct questions?
"Where are you from?"
"Which language do you speak?"
"Is there any other language that similar to your language?"

No one is smart enough to ask a correct question. And they all were students in tourism. How I was disappointed!!!

2step4life wrote:

BtW: Until now i reall don't understand why so many vietnamese give them english/western names. I don't get it. I only can talk for the Vietnamese-German who grow up there for many years. We are proud of our origins and we all use our vietnamese names. And trust me. When they know name, they clearly know that you are a vietnamese. So why whining and blaming on others and talk about racism and giving yourself a foreigner name?That's just hypocritical. Don't feel offended but Germany is by far one of the friendliest Countries i know.

Vietnamese nowadays use english names because most foreigners cannot say their name correctly (at least I never met a German who can say my name correctly - that's embarrassing). We just think of a better way for them to call us. Nothing else!

So what or who  do you care?
Why only you bothering?
Are you instructed to speak about Asian?
You just say your opinion.

Natalie_Tran wrote:

I don't care who gets married with whom, if it's because of love or not. That's their private thing.
It's just bothering to hear someone's talking about going to "Asia" to find some girls for fun, and that "Asian girls" get married to "the White" for money etc. Well ... it's the man who chooses to marry an "Asian girl". Don't talk like those girls were born to be whores just because they're "Asian". Again: THAT'S THE CHOICE OF THE WHITE MAN TO MARRY HER.

Natalie Tran,
All i want to know is,, who the F,,, is your drug dealer.. Ive got to get some of that shit your on. Oh mate, you are so messed up. You feel sorry for the Germans,, ha ha ha i love it. I feel sorry for you man, be carefull you dont OD. I never said that YOU were world wide champion of travel. It was you who said, that you feel sorry for world wide champion of travel, and i said ive never met anyone who calls themselfs, world wide champions of travel. ( has anyone met such a person, as i would like to know) or is it only Natalie. By the way what is your real name, not a made up, look at me ive got a  western name? . Yes i look at the news, i dont have to be told that theres a dispute with China, half the world knows about that. Vietnamise come from Chinese, learn your history.

May be she/he don't know what's history. He only know 'his' story.
Here is a simple description for Natalie.

Jeff Brewster wrote:

Vietnamese come from Chinese, learn your history.