Feeling alone in my own country

bring your indo friends travelling with you.
your blues's normal especially you're living in city like jakarta with huge traffic jam, your psycho can get blue very easily.
find some relaxed origin java countryside villages to stay,you 'll feel better.

I know how you feel, I am in the same position. I travel from one place to another,following my husband. I'm a very social person so I always try to find friends wherever I am.
Whenever I am back here,I still can meet a few old friends but this forum is really a good place to start New friendship!

Join the gatherings people make here. You'll easily find new people to hangout with.

The best if luck, and happy travelling!

Annie

Thank you all..

Hello Rachmabelle,

What you're going through is a form of Reverse Culture Shock and you are NOT alone. Lots of us go through exactly the same thing.

Perhaps my posting to the topic "Reverse Culture Shock" will be of some help to you, so here it is:
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Hi All,

The following is a posting of mine on the Brazil Forum about Reverse Culture Shock, you might find it quite helpful.

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So, you've been living and working here in Brazil and now it's time to go back home.  Be prepared to experience Reverse Culture Shock and know how to deal with it. Maybe you've only been here for a few months or perhaps youve been here for years, chances are that you will experience Reverse Culture Shock to some degree. Obviously, that all depends on how long you have been here and your adaptation to the Brazilian culture.

To understand Reverse Culture Shock you must understand that it is very real and that in most ways exactly the same as the Culture Shock you experienced when you arrived here. Culture Shock has four phases and three possible outcomes, which I will briefly describe here.

Honeymoon phase  This sets in the moment you arrive, everything is new, different, exciting and beautiful. This phase lasts for the first few months, but like all honeymoons it will eventually come to an end.

Negotiation phase  Usually anywhere from third to sixth month following arrival. This phase is typified by trying to make the mental negotiation between aspects of your old home and culture to your new home and culture.

Adjustment phase  Usually anywhere from six months to one year, this is where you actually have accepted your new culture and start making the adaptations to harmonize it completely with your old culture, traditions and habits.

Mastery phase  This is the phase where you have successfully adapted to your new home and you are integrated into the culture and society, you see yourself and interact with those around you as though you were one of them.

The three possible outcomes of the adaptation we know as Culture Shock are as follows:

Rejection  This happens when one is completely incapable of accepting and rejects the culture, traditions, ideas, etc., of the host country. These are the ones for whom going back home is the only answer and they usually do so quite quickly. Oddly enough, these Rejectors are the very same individuals who tend to experience Reverse Culture Shock to a greater degree following repatriation. Nobody can really determine why this is the case.

Adoption  This happens when one adopts all or most of the aspects of their host country's culture and incorporates them into his/her daily life, almost losing all trace of their former self. These Adopters generally end up staying in the host country for the rest of their lives.

Blending  This occurs when one accepts most of the aspects of their host country's culture and blends them with aspects of their home country culture. They become truly cosmopolitan.


Repatriation and Reverse Culture Shock

You will experience all or most of the same phases with Reverse Culture Shock that you went through with Culture Shock upon arrival. It may set in the moment you set foot on home soil or it may strike shortly afterward. You will feel like a foreigner in your own country  a fish out of water. In order to successfully repatriate and re-integrate into your home culture you need to understand six things.

You're Different  You are NOT the same person you were before you left home. Your experience has changed you and for that reason you may not be able to simply accept certain aspects of your home culture anymore. Your friends may not be able to accept the changes in you or they've changed in different directions too, so don't just assume you will go right back to the way things were before.

Your Home Country has Changed - Time moves on and everything changes. No matter how short a period of time you have been away it will never be exactly the same as when you left. Don't expect that or you will be in for a very big letdown. People you know have married, moved away, businesses have changed hands or ceased to exist, familiar locations have been changed to a point where you hardly recognize them anymore. That is usual.

Most People Don't Care About Your Experiences  That's very true in most cases, so save your story telling for your closest friends and don't make every conversation about your travels. Otherwise, your family and friends will become bored quite quickly and begin to avoid you. Don't turn off your conversations about your experiences completely, just find a suitable balance.

Re-Connect With People and Make New Friends  While it is very important to re-connect with family and old friends, it is equally important to establish new friendships upon repatriation. This keeps the experience new it helps you not to fall into a boring routine. You will find out shortly after your return home that some old friends have fallen by the wayside, so you need to replace them with new friendships.

Sensory Overload  Be prepared for the barrage of ads, commercials, sounds and sights once you get home. Perhaps you were living in a small town where it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop and you are returning to the hustle and bustle of a big city, or vice versa.

It's Okay to be Confused  You don't have to feel bad about nor do you need to hide your confused feelings for being back home. They are completely natural. You may find that you even dislike certain aspects of your home culture that you were completely comfortable with before or never noticed before. You do not need to feel like a traitor because you no longer see home as being PERFECT.

Cheers,
William James Woodward  Brazil Animator, Expat-blog
Last edited by wjwoodward (19 September 2012 20:25:10)

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In fact, it will probably be helpful for you to read the entire topic and see some of the experiences related by other members.

REVERSE CULTURE SHOCK

Everything changes, often much faster than we ever imagine so while you think that you've only been away from "home" for a little while, it has continued changing without you and you sometimes just might not be able to catch up to those changes.

Keep your chin up, hope this helps.

Cheers,
William James Woodward, EB Experts Team

Hi William,

Thank you for your suggestion, I think this issue pretty much happened to me a reverse cultural shock, I was amazed how I changed so much and became so weird for the social life here in asia, especially in Jakarta the first day after i arrived from somewhere always tough, uneasy and difficult. Try to re adjust myself again but seems i couldnt chance anything. Its so weird sometime i how i spend the dinner alone or drink in bar alone, meanwhile when i was in europe those kind of feeling never appears. Thanks for the link you gave me, meaning im not the only one who face this kind of issue..sad but need to accept i guess ☺