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Your experience of culture shock in Jordan

Last activity 14 September 2015 by vintageviolet

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Christine

Hi,

Living in a foreign country implies to discover its culture, to learn and master the cultural codes.

How did you deal with that? Share with us your culture shock stories where you experienced a funny or awkward moment in Jordan.

What is your advice regarding the don’ts and what would you recommend to avoid any mistake?

Thank you in advance for sharing your stories,

Christine

Primadonna

Its a pity that such a nice topic as this will fade away and nobody wants to share their stories.
I was waiting for other members who are willing to contribute but it seems that nobody dares, so I will kick off and I hope that others will follow soon.

My very first culture shock was on my first holiday (read: family visit!!!) to Jordan where I met for the first time my in laws.
It happened on the airport at the arrivals. I was tiered with two little children and I had not idea to expect. For the time at that day it was crowded and I feel all the eyes pointed at me. Why? It was all family who came to the airport to welcome us. It felt like a warm bath but I was at the same time in shock. All the female members where totally covered, only what  I could see were their eyes. They presented themselves to me after hugs and kisses but how can  I know who is who?  :unsure  And my very thirst thought was: OMG, where am I landed?
From that moment until 10 days later I "lost" my husband out of sight. We barely see each other as the members are separate, each gender in another room: eat, meet & greet, talk the whole day long. The worst part was that the majority of them don't (till now!) spoke English and my Arabic didn't go much further then Marhaba and Sukran.
Apparently it was THE event of the year: every family member came by to meet us. And family here mean: big!!! Even grandchildren of second grade nephew from grandfathers site is still family. I don't know how many people I met but our kids had the time of their live: so many friends to play with!!!!
I was not used to small crowded places where everyone talks at the same time and for sure they were talking about me but not knowing what they were saying.
Finally I did survive. I will never ever forget the way I've been treated: like a queen. I never had nothing in front of me: food, sweet tea with mint, fruit, nuts, cold water, soft drinks or fresh juices, sweets. You can name it all and it was there.

I am aware that cases like me its different than people who are coming here to work. But I would like to know what they have been trough.
I have more experiences to share, and I am willing too, but I appreciate the input from others too.

A few tips from me:

* its not done to shake hands from the other gender, unless he/she is willing to. I always let the initiative to the others.
* don't think that he/she doesn't like you but it cultural and religion wise not to do so as they are not allowed to touch the other gender;
* it happen that they other gender wont even look or talk to  you, this has to do with respect (although till now I still have some problems with that. But its more in the way how they do it);
* eat and drink with your right hand as your left hand consider as the "dirt" side (they wash their ass with their left hand after each toilet visit.)
* if you visit the country its advisable to dress decent, i.e. for women to cover the shoulders and legs until knees and don't show to much décolleté. For men pretty much the same. If you visit a mosque, take off your shoes and the women must cover their hair and shoulders;
* its consider as rude if you don't accept a glass of sweet tea when they offered you;
* Arabic time is a different time: they always shows up late, most of the time 15 minutes or more later, it happen in some cases that they never show up.
* "Brooka Insha'Allah" means literal: tomorrow if God willing and refers to that if God want, it will happen. But in most cases its an acceptable way to say no or maybe without being harsh.

JO/EU

Two things need to be corrected. Shaking hands between man and woman is not allowed and not usual unless same family like brothers and sisters, or relative kids and teenis... If someone handles it different it's up to them...For foreign women I believe it's up to the man if he allows. Secondly, In sha Allah means Yes, sometimes it turns out to be a no (it's up to everyone), but generally it means Yes...

vintageviolet

My husband's family doesn't segregate and there is only one male who doesn't shake hands.  Mostly, everyone else does and they are all mixing all the time.  Same for the whole village.  I've never had a chance to be in a segregated situation, really, but I have heard plenty about it.  Even at the weddings and graduations you will see men and women mixing, but generally not dancing with each other (and I have seen the women separate to dance in a larger context, but at family gatherings where it is just immediate family all the way through first cousins and close family friends, even the men and women will dance together).  So there is some variation, although I am aware that this is not the norm for the whole of the country :)  So perhaps my culture shock was a lot less.

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