Odd experiences in Hungary?

Odd experiences in Hungary

When the locals do not tell you what they think to your face, but then at the first chance they get, turn around behind your back and grab the sleeve of anyone, and everyone, who will listen to their gossip about you. And most of that is black gossip: highly opinionated, uninformed, flawed, incorrect and malicious.

Really weird.

Many Expats may live in an expat bubble, but apparently so do many Hungarians: In a gossip bubble.

I remember doing the clothing wash on a Sunday when I was staying with my MIL in Erd.
She freaked out on me, I had hung up the laundry to dry outside, she was concerned about what the neighbors would think, Doing the wash on a Sunday, oh my!!
Seems gossip and fear of what people think is huge in Hungary.
My mom was a bit that way too but she let it go by the 1970's.
So Victorian of a mentality.
People live to make their neighbors happy and not themselves, hard to understand why they would give up so much just to please others.
That's culture for you, I am starting to think all culture is a bad thing.
It keeps society in check but makes people introverted,living in fear of what can or will happen if they break the rules.
Am not advocating anything radial but no washing on a Sunday? My bad...
I am ready to become a hermit, makes life simplier.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

.....

Am not advocating anything radical but no washing on a Sunday? My bad...

....

Austria is just as bad. No car washing on Sunday. Same in Germany.

And of course, shops closed on Sunday.  We know what that is about.

I ran away from home, the US to escape but seems there are not many places left to escape to.
I mean escape from insane society, maybe SE Asia is in order?
Dumb laws dumb rules and people who follow blindly just get under my skin.
Where are all the free thinkers hiding?

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

People live to make their neighbors happy and not themselves, hard to understand why they would give up so much just to please others.

Yet, I have had some of our neighbors walk to the edge of their property and dumb their refuse, such as fireplace ash and tree cuttings, etc. onto our property.

So, I am not sure they are really interested in making their neighbors happy. Because that certainly did not make me happy doing that.

And it is not just because I am a foreigner. I have seen Hungarians do it to their Hungarian neighbors.

There is something more complex going on than just trying to make someone else happy. There are indeed some cultural issues involved that make really simple and harmless actions (hanging up your own laundry on your own property) a cultural hot potato, while transgressions against others, or their property, are perfectly okay. 

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Where are all the free thinkers hiding?

I think in Vermont....

I think this tale was sort of funny.
While we were hanging in Erd 11 years back we were in charge of the 2 lots of land my MIL had owned.
My city boy husband did all the yard work himself, he thought it was good exercise and semi-fun, he loves doing things himself whenever possible, from a car repair to fixing a broken  blow dryer he likes to figure out how things work and gets joy if he does get it going himself.
Has all the time in the world to mess around with small repairs.
The land was a corner lot so we had to keep the trees and grass outside the large property in shape as well and cut and trim the 2 lots. Usually it took my husband 3 days every 2 weeks to keep it in order.
Had to look it's best while it was on the market.
I kept myself busy inside with my hours of yoga and washing up the old house.
Very domestic for days on end.
My husband found some old beat up clothing that had belonged to his step- dad,perfect to wear old overall's for yard work, he also got "native" and didn't shave for a few days while he was working outside.
He looked a mess but was enjoying himself.
One morning we found a huge bag of second hand clothing thrown over our fence, someone left a man's suit, shoes, all sorts of men's clothing in a "charity bag" for my husband.
Nice in some ways but knowing how much people gossip and know each other in this small town, it was more of a back handed insult.
When I saw that, I made my husband come in, shave put on his normal clothing and off we were to Budapest for a day of fun.
The neighbors must of thought he was very poor and had no other clothing but those rags.
We dropped the clothing off to a real charity, we even later had several of those feather comforters that had belonged to my MIL.
I thought them too messy and old, we drove around with them and handed them out to different homeless people, at least they had something soft to lay on.
I couldn't believe the neighbors thought we were a charity case just because we did our own yard work.

Another odd tale I still find confusing.
We used to take our elderly 84 years old now neighbor out to senior citizen dances all around Budapest.
When she was 80-81 she was still super active and had a boyfriend aged 5 years her senior.
He daughter was in her early 60 and had her mom living with her.
The daughter disliked her mom's BF for some reason, he drank some and had borrowed money from the mom in the past, the girl just hated him and wouldn't even allow him to call their flat.
We got the role of taking her out so he could meet her BF on the sly.
They were cute, hugging, kissing and in their 80's. Used to only dance with each other with my husband sometimes cutting in to make the older lady feel good, plus she could dance better then most others, better then me for sure.
Ok, I have 2 left feet, don't know how to do the classic ballroom moves,I really truly enjoy just watching my husband do his thing on the dance floor and sit back enjoying a glass of bubbly or wine just listening to the music.
At times I would get up when they had those free for all style dances but mostly I sit and watch with my drink in hand.
Had knee surgery 3 months into recovery I was still using crutches.
a dance came up and our neighbor told us that because of his poor health her BF would no longer be going to the dances, one more dance only, their final waltz.
The Last Waltz?
We had to take her and we filmed it on video.
I of course was not able to hobble around much let alone dance.
I was dressed up as everyone does at these events.
Just sitting there minding my own business watching my husband dance with other ladies( usually he is busy as women outnumber men 5 to 1)
A local HU man came over to me and asked me to dance, I told him in broken Hu that my knee was bad and no thank you.
He wouldn't take no for an answer. Came over to me a half dozen times. My husband even told him nicely that I don't dance, husband is a man of few words and doesn't enjoy a big show of macho crap.
husband danced again with someone the man once more came over to bug the heck out of me, other men around the table started telling him off, words were getting a bit too loud for me, we all left the dance, me on crutches, what the heck was wrong with that dude?
I was minding my own business but smiling and having fun , guess that is a crime, no more dances for us with seniors, they get very worked up over nothing. Way to much of macho society with women left holding the bag.
Gosh wonder how drunk that man was not to notice I was on crutches.

Neighbors dumping trash on your property, what is wrong with people?
One long vacation holiday in Hungary we rented a house through a friend at lake Velence.
Was a nice summer having a big house near the lake, go swimming everyday and enjoy the peaceful surroundings.
One afternoon I was sunbathing in the backyard of the house.
A couple kitty/corner to our place was also outside.
I do not usually enjoy listening to private conversations but this couple was speaking American English and I just could not help myself. I was considering walking over later and introducing myself.
As I listen to their conversation I changed my mind about meeting them.
Was glad we had a high fence and they didn't know I was there.
Seems they were recently retired from the US, the east coast NJ or NY area.
The women was American and the man Hungarian.
Seems they were sharing the house with a relation of his and the women was not happy about anything at all.
Almost ready to pack it up and ship out.
The man told her to chill out give it some time etc.
As they talked she told a story about her dog, guess she had brought it with her.
She said back east she would often take it walking and let it do it's business on all her neighbors lawns! What a jerk.
She was apparently doing the same thing in Velence, she was too lazy to look after her pet and was laughing about how often she let it go on lawns.
Some people are really not worth meeting at all.
Too  bad she wasn't a nice person could of helped her adjust to Hungary or at least had a few laughs together, not interested in knowing more jerks then I already know.
Just hoped she didn't decide to walk on our side of the road.

A quick edit, I couldn't help but hear their conversation from our backyard. They were talking very loud and laughing about how many times she let her dog abuse her neighbors lawns.
She went into great loud detail about back in the US how she would wait until her neighbors left for work and then she would turn her dog loose on their lawns, she thought she was a real comedian. It was disturbing to hear her. Some people seem to enjoy disrecting people behind their backs, just so very odd.
I remember in Cal when my BIL from Hungary came to visit us for a month.
He wanted to walk my big beautiful Doberman.
I handed him a plastic bag and several paper towels. In his confusion about knowing the rules of picking up after a pet, he asked me if these tools were to wipe the dog's bottom with!!
I almost told him yes just to drive him crazy. Some people just don't think about how their actions will reflect on others, mind blowing to know so many of these sorts have been turned loose on the public , can't avoid them anywhere one goes.
Just think how nice things could be if everyone thought of their neighbors as they think of themselves.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

what is wrong with people?

A lot, apparently.

https://stcoemgen.com/2015/10/08/building-fences/

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

One morning we found a huge bag of second hand clothing thrown over our fence

Personally, I would have just tossed it back over the fence.

I actually did that with one neighbor who dumped brush cuttings on my property. They were "of course" mad at "me" for returning their junk to their property, but they got the hint.

To tell the truth, I found a good second hand t-shirt out of the bunch, great for working out in, not to proud to beg...
Designer clothing with trash, my own style.
Was not sure where the bag came from, we had a corner house so many suspects , might of even come from the cat murdering freak across the st.
My MIL had a witchy neighbor who lived across the road from her for over 40 years.
A real nut job, my MIL suspected she was the person responsible for the murders of many generations of cats that my MIL had over the years.
How many times does a pet get poisoned?
A dog went out that way as well.
I couldn't believe my MIL knew this women was a animal abuser and still was civil to her.
When I ran into her I always called her a murderer to her face.
Of course she didn't understand me and my husband was not willing to teach me how to phrase that line into Hungarian.
I had to sell that house, no way could I live anywhere near that group of people without committing murder myself.

klsallee wrote:

...I actually did that with one neighbor who dumped brush cuttings on my property. They were "of course" mad at "me" for returning their junk to their property, but they got the hint.

I know this posting probably involves grandma, a vacuum and eggs..... but I've found that sometimes one has to  just be absolutely brutally direct here and everywhere else where a foreign language is used.  Even if the perps speak your language to a good level, they'll never get the verbal nuances and social niceties that native speakers will.  Vice versa too.

True about not understand the little nuances of English.
I know whenever I ran into that horrible murdering cat killer I would say "kitty" in Hungarian, zitsa or however it is spelled, and draw my finger under my throat, That women was afraid of the odd American, at least I hope I put an ounce of fear in her heart.
I sometimes feel I may be losing my mind in HUngary but no offense to anyone, most of us who are ex pats are on the ecentric side of life, have to be, gotta be easy going and open to live in another world where sometimes everything is upside down and sideways.

Sometimes it is very hard to see injustice and because
of being a guest and the language barrier not being able to do much about it.
Hard to not speak up and to keep quiet.
I have times when I had to act up in either self defence or in defence of animals while in Hungary.
Not trying to cause any trouble but having it in my face and having to act on it.
Customs and ways of life that are so different then the sheltered way I grew up in.
I do think this is one huge reason my husband doesn't encourage me learning Hungarian, I will just get in big trouble if I can tell people my mind.
Had a group of Gypsies chasing after our car after I noticed some kids drowning a kitten in a rusty old bathtub in their backyard in Erd.
Erd seems the place a hot spot for animal abuse.
We drove past a home and I noticed something wrong, had my husband drive around the block so I could take a better look.
Over the wire fence I saw a group of 6 or so boys under age 10 drowning a kitten in the tub. I had the car pull over , I got out and started  telling them  off  in broken HU and in English, I then noticed 6 to 8 grown men in the yard drinking and talking, everyone started chasing towards me, I jumped in the car for a fast get away and the kitten ran for it's very life , couldn't find it and hoped it never returned to that house of horrors.
Asked my husband to call the police up and report this. It was a Sunday, he said they never come out on Sunday and not for a kitten for sure.
I am not even crazy about cats but gosh, the things that go on and no one stops it.
Sometimes it is hard to be in the sidelines and let things be.

Interesting  reading about putting up fences.
Barbed wire was invented to control cattle, later for controlling people.

My MIL's insane drunk neighbor in Erd made good use of the common fence between the properties.
My FIL was known for his great wine making and when he passed away he still had over 200 liters of great wine in the cellar.
The neighbor would often hang a plastic bottle on the fence with a few hundred forint bills, to buy some of the wine off of my non drinking MIL, he didn't want his wife to know how much he was actually drinking so he would hang the bottle in a tree branch on our side of the fence.
My MIL would give him back his money and not fill the bottle,when she died my husband would fill her up for him and not take the money.
Soon enough our barrels were empty.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Erd seems the place a hot spot for animal abuse.

Far too many Hungarians see dogs and cats as not animals but only as tools. Tools to bark and protect property, or to kill mice and rats. The "owners" do not spade or neuter them, so they often run wild (especially the cats) and breed, so the litters are just.... eliminated.

At one of our properties, the neighbors across the road raises ducks each year. In a pen without any water source. On most summer days I see the ducks standing in their small pen and hyperventilating just trying to stay cool. And the wife in that house is on the local village council, which shows how much people here do not care about such things to elect such a person.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

My FIL was known for his great wine making and when he passed away he still had over 200 liters of great wine in the cellar.... my husband would fill her up for him and not take the money.
Soon enough our barrels were empty.

I am not trying to make light of the very, very serious condition of alcoholism, but many alcoholics will drink shoe polish if it gives them a buzz. So giving away great wine like that is somewhat a crime. 

klsallee wrote:

....but many alcoholics will drink shoe polish if it gives them a buzz. So giving away great wine like that is somewhat a crime. 

Drinking any old stuff seems to be national habit. 

Many people are making palinka from own fruits down in the countryside on their holiday home land. I have no idea under what conditions they operate nor the alcohol content. 

They seem quite keen to share and drink their firewater regardless of how much brain damage it'll cause. 

I still find it quite odd that one can buy a still in Tesco.

fluffy2560 wrote:

I still find it quite odd that one can buy a still in Tesco.

Home distilling was illegal in Hungary until 2010. If you wanted to (legally) make Palinka you had to take your product to a licensed distillery and pay to have it distilled (and pay the excise tax). I did this a few times with our left over grape pumice because I was informed "everyone did it here". But really was not worth it (because it was expensive and I really do not like Palinka). So have not done so for over a decade.

But, then one of the first laws that Fidesz passed when they came to govern in 2010 was to allow home distilling without tax. An election promise they kept (and of course made them popular because of it).

Then EU started a violation case against the Hungarian government due to EU required excise taxes on distillation of alcohol.

So now, the new law in Hungary requires home distillers to go to their local notary office, declare every liter they distill, and pay a hefty tax on each liter.

Yeah right....  . As if any of the local home distillers here actually do any of that.....

Don't get me wrong, our neighbor had a little bit of help empting  our barrels, how else could I stand 18 months in Erd!
No, had some fun times there at the small gyms located everywhere.
Seems working out is a pass time there for many housewives with time on their hands.

Let me see, can't remember how many times I stuck my nose in to protect an animal in Erd.Dogs chained, no shelter, no water bowl in site, Really depressed me to see that so common.
Took 2 of my MIL's cats in the get fixed, one just had a litter and was pregnant again, so fast, of course the doc took care of that litter during surgery.
I made my MIL pay for the operations, I even put the poor cat in my room for 3 days so I could make sure it was doing ok after they worked on her, poor thing to get pregnant so soon after already having a litter.
I remember one nice summer's early evening around dusk going for a walk in the neighborhood in Erd by myself.
So peaceful until a group of wild stray dogs started following me. One would just not go away no matter how many times I turned the corner. Scared me half to death not knowing if they had any shots or not if one should decide to snack on me.
Never walked around there again after that scary walk.

My FIL's wine was good quality in some ways we thought if we gave our neighbor some good wine it was better then the stuff he usually bought that came out of a plastic bottle, like 2 liters for under a buck. Pure chemical nothing but poison.
We have known several men in HU that did themselves in with alcohol abuse.
In fact one old friend from HU was not even living in HU when he drank himself to death.
Sad story, he left HU in the early 1970's used to be a drummer with a HU band, not my sort of music, still semi-popular though called, Mini.
He was very successful even bought a house in the Hollywood Hills with his own business, taking school photos for yearbooks.
Lost his contract with the school system moved to Hawaii and bought a huge house.
Had a wild Hu wife, he met her while he was visiting HU, she had been in the adult film industry, a lose canyon sort of women.
Slowly they lost everything, he tried many businesses his wife was running around behind his back, wore him down, he gave up and drank to death. We sort of knew it was happening to him but he would never answer phone calls or see people, just gave up on everything.
His wife brought his ashes back to Hu to be interned with his parents. Some of his old band mates showed up, he wife was all alone the guys family wouldn't even talk with her, of course they blamed her for his death.
I was the only one who stood next to her and put my arm around her shoulder, she looked very sorry for her wild days of her youth.
I never liked this women much but it was sad to see her so broken, the mighty can fall too.
She looked so old and tired, worn down, maybe she drinks too, no idea.
This man was just too sensitive for life.
Might be in the DNA, just a love of overdoing things.

I can not remember the exact title of the song that was popular in Hungary in the 1930's.
Blue Sunday is what I recall it was.
It was so depressing that a rash of suicides hit Hungary.People were jumping hanging  running into trains whatever, just doing themselves in.
Of course most probably were prompted with alcohol.
It got so bad that the song was banned.
Read the song writer killed himself back in the 1980's.
He was Hungarian too.
Seems emotional music, drink and predisposition for seeing the negative can be a dangerous combo.

I wish I had not given away so much good wine to someone who was/is willing to drink acid out of a plastic bottle. ( Never stopped by their house to see how he was doing after we moved, my bad)
Never thought we could polish  off so much wine, 200 liters on our own.
We also hated to see that guy drink that poor quality gut rot.
We invited my husbands step-bro to the US in the 1980's.
We knew he liked his drink and he was over to help us work on house repairs.
We paid for his whole trip everything from drinks to cig to trips for 2 months time.
In exchange for some repairs, I mentioned before we also gave him some money for his work,a sweet deal for him.
I didn't know exactly how much he liked to drink until he arrived at our home in Cal.
We wanted our house fixed and didn't want to do a detox with him, he didn't want to stop.
We did not allow any hard stuff while he worked, he needed his 12 pack of beer and one bottle of wine just to get going each day.
He smoked at least 3 packs a day, dam he was expensive to keep.
What really upset me was long after he left back for HU we had guests over.
I had kept our good liquor in our "library" room in a cabinet for safe keeping.
Asked our guests if they wanted a drink, opened the cabinet and found all the bottles dry.
Guess someone had found my stash while he was working in the house.
That really made me mad, sneaky drunks are the worst.
One day while he was on a ladder painting our house my 82 year old conservative but sweet neighbor called me on the phone. Said she just saw him fall off the ladder.
Great didn't need to pay his hospital bills too.
He also set tile outside on our covered patio,husband had been at work all day long so didn't see the mess until he got home from work.
Darn fool had hit the booze early that day and set all the tile crooked , had to make him tear it all out for a redo, no booze until it was done right.More hassle to bring him over to work then to hire locally. Live and learn.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Don't get me wrong, our neighbor had a little bit of help empting  our barrels, how else could I stand 18 months in Erd!

I understand.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

I wish I had not given away so much good wine

If you had not given so much away but used it yourself..... well then maybe you would not remember your time in Erd, and might be happier for it......

I assume you won't make that mistake again. 

Erd is only a "drive through" these days if at all.
Some nice people live there but none were neighbors of ours!

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Some nice people live there but none were neighbors of ours!

There are good people everywhere. It is all the others that one wants to avoid to start, but if that fails, to try to forget. 

klsallee wrote:

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Some nice people live there but none were neighbors of ours!

There are good people everywhere. It is all the others that one wants to avoid to start, but if that fails, to try to forget. 

I think more like "Forgive but don't forget"

If they screw you over once, they'll always be capable of doing it again.

fluffy2560 wrote:

I think more like "Forgive but don't forget"

If they screw you over once, they'll always be capable of doing it again.

I agree, if someone screws you once, they will probably do it again.

Which is why I used the term "forget" to mean: "to disregard intentionally".

That is, I have nothing further to do with that person.

I do not easily forgive. Even if they ask. Since even asking is all too often too easy to do, and not always sincere (fooled with that one enough in my life to know that). And, if it is not sincere, yes, they will screw you again.

If one looses my respect, they have to work to earn it back. And that will not be an easy job.

Know what you mean, have allot more ex friends then real friends, not that they have done us over but we know they had done others over and we don't want to be next on their hit list.
As one ages the list of trusted people gets so much smaller, sad.
I am lucky though, I can claim more then a handful of good friends that I have known most of my life, a few new ones too.
If one is in tune you can get the "vibe" off of people pretty quickly without putting yourself in harms way.
We  trusted a few too many people in Hungary knowing full well they were not exactly on our wave length, just wanted to give them a chance, thought it was a cultural difference and not a moral one, we were wrong, language has little to to with being a trust worthy person or not.

klsallee wrote:

....I do not easily forgive. Even if they ask. Since even asking is all too often too easy to do, and not always sincere (fooled with that one enough in my life to know that). And, if it is not sincere, yes, they will screw you again. ...

Yup, indeedy.

Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.

Not entirely sure of the origin of that expression (even Google doesn't know properly).

Obviously it means be on your toes the 2nd time around.  So basically, 2nd chances OK but with extra supervision/observation.  I am not sure I would abide by it myself but I guess it depends on the circumstances.

Some people just do not play well with others.
We have also put our trust in the wrong people.
We used to believe everyone had a set of codes to live by, learned the hard way that not everyone plays fair.
I hate to say it but most of the time, in fact every time we got run over it was by a Hungarian.
My close friends  have been my buddies since we were pre teens, I trust them with my life, not many people fit that bill.
Maybe my standards are too high or maybe we have just been unlucky meeting trust worthy people.
I often tell my husband,( poor guy) every time I got screwed over it was through someone he introduced into our lives, from now on I am picking people,his BS scale is too low.
I have told my husband I felt sorry that he never had more then 2 friends in his life that were real friends, sadly they both have passed on.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

I ran away from home, the US to escape but seems there are not many places left to escape to.
I mean escape from insane society, maybe SE Asia is in order?
Dumb laws dumb rules and people who follow blindly just get under my skin.
Where are all the free thinkers hiding?

Tee hee ! SE Asia is much the same - we spent a few months in Vietnam before coming over here - they are equally whacky - my wife & I considered that it is probably a Communist derived mentality !!
Here's a couple of examples - they like to keep out of the sun (we were in the South where it is 30* plus every day ...), as the 'plebs' work outside in the fields & thus get sunned ....so, they wear clotning all over - long trousers, long tops, gloves, face masks etc - and subscribe to the theory that the thicker the clothing, the MORE it keeps the sun's heat OUT .... On these lines, one day we went to walk into town with some native friends, and we suggested walking on the pavement that was in the shade .... But no, you have to walk on the right hand side pavement, always - like the traffic flow, they said !! Neatly ignoring the fact that the traffic can flow in BOTH directions on any given side of a dual carriageway .... There's not room to go through it all - but suffice to say, like in Hungary, the Vietnamese are wonderful people, very friendly & welcoming to us as resident visitors.
Good times 😊

Angolhapsi wrote:

....so, they wear clotning all over - long trousers, long tops, gloves, face masks etc - and subscribe to the theory that the thicker the clothing, the MORE it keeps the sun's heat OUT ....

They can personally cook in their cloths if they wish, but my problem was I was never able to find any ice cold beer anywhere I went in Vietnam. The local solution was to put ice into the beer (and thus water it down). Nope, nope, nope, nope. Not an option for me.

Dang, you guys are depressing me, just kidding. My cousin lives SE Asia, been there nearly 6 years now.
I think he would like to come home but he has gotten used to the cheap cost of living over there.
He is a "mini" king ( funny since he is a huge guy of over 310 lbs) over there, supports most of his wives family.
I think we have fallen into the same trap in Hungary.
One gets used to the low cost of living.
Experiencing the US ATM, enjoying allot of it as it is home but the prices are high on housing and food.
Very high, my bro in Cal. is renting a house for over $3,000 a month, just a average home too.
My niece lives in a flat near SF. Cal, 2 bedrooms for $2,500 a month.
I can not see myself living in AK or MS where prices for housing are still reasonable in the states.
Maybe someday I'll have to settle for being the old auntie who lives in a relations spare room or closet!

Not sure why but I just remembered a couple of sad and odd experiences in Hungary with death.
The first one was around 4 years back in Budapest.
I was walking by myself to the market on the corner of Blaha Luza .
Just popping over for some fresh bread.
Near the bus station on the corner near several shops there was a police car parked and a body just lying in the street.
The poor soul had actual garbage trash bags tied around his body with duct tape, one over his head was a normal white trash bin bag the the other bags were black large lawn size bags.
What was so sad and so odd to me was has my heart was pounding away I saw people just walk on by like it was an everyday thing.
Some didn't even bother to look and others just looked and ran by to get their bus or go eat.
People were eating about 20 ft. away in a sidewalk cafe.
Ok, I perhaps am sheltered were I come from a dead body is something that would stop traffic and get noticed. There would be people praying and crying not eating their lunch.
I stopped for a moment said a silent blessing in my own style and hoped he would be removed by the time I got out from the store.
I almost forgot what I was in the shop for, it was so upsetting.
Of course after 20 min. he was still lying in the road and people were still going by without a care, except for one crying women I stood by her for a few moments to show respect and then just went home, felt terrible the whole rest of the day.
Another time which was again not the way it would go down in the states.
This was a horror show, first time we went to a public pool there was a drowning of a 8 year old girl.
At first I was in the water swimming far off from where it happened.
Noticed only a few people getting out of the water , I looked over and saw people trying CPR.
I got out and most people were respectful and quiet. Some however knew what was going on, one had to know, they still keep on laughing, playing in the water, took about 45 min. before everyone was asked to leave the pool.
Poor little thing was out in the open for hours the ambulance came but they never removed her, they only did CPR for far too long, it was hopeless.
I couldn't understand why they left her on the ground since it was obvious she had passed on. Not until her parents arrived did they finally put up a screen for a bit of privacy. Just a personal event unfolding in such a public place, was very horrid.
They later refunded everyone's money for entry , if I had been thinking straight I would of told them to donate it to the family the whole days profit, not much but something.
He parents came out after awhile which really was a nightmare, the screams and cries are still ringing in my ears. ( seems she was with a summer school group with teachers)
Such a sad day, the thing that was odd was that they never took her away either for hours just let people walk right on by as they worked away, why didn't they take her to hospital?
Gosh I hope I never go down in public in Hungary, trash bags and no medical care.
I remember these because in the states years ago I had to attend a older man who was not breathing outside of a grocery store. A man was doing CPR and I was asked to help out, the manager of the store got on the PA system and asked if anyone could help outside the shop as someone was down. This was in the old AIDS scare days in the 1980's, I just jumped in to help knowing I could possibly pick up the virus. I just thought what if that was my husband on the ground and no one helped him. Thankfully the man was not ill just sickly, never even got a sore throat from him. Still not sure if I was brave or stupid, the store had no mouth pieces for protection.
I had just taken a CPR class for "fun" since I was always in the pool and there were many children in our house, never know when it could come in handy.
Sadly the man didn't make it but I know people stopped in the tracks to try and help this older man. They didn't leave him laying around for hours on display.

Marilyn Tassy wrote:

Not sure why but I just remembered a couple of sad and odd experiences in Hungary with death.
The first one was around 4 years back in Budapest.
I was walking by myself to the market on the corner of Blaha Luza .
Just popping over for some fresh bread.
Near the bus station on the corner near several shops there was a police car parked and a body just lying in the street.
The poor soul had actual garbage trash bags tied around his body with duct tape, one over his head was a normal white trash bin bag the the other bags were black large lawn size bags.
What was so sad and so odd to me was has my heart was pounding away I saw people just walk on by like it was an everyday thing.

I saw the same thing opposite the West End shopping mall perhaps 20 years ago.  Body in the road, a police car next to it with flashing lights. Some plastic bags over the corpse.  Everyone hurrying away as usual, cars whizzing by.  The victim had clearly been hit by a car crossing the road. 

I also saw a guy, mangled bike and very large truck.  He was lying squashed dead, uncovered in the road.  As we arrived at the scene, a black van pulled up, two guys got a metal coffin out the back, and proceeded to put him in it. I remember clearly his work clothes and a foot with industrial boot on it sticking out until they got him firmly in.   I thought, someone is going to get very bad news tonight. He was clearly on his way home.

I think there might be something needed like an official unit, a photographer, or coroner to go there before they can do anything. 

But sombre for sure.

So much tragedy, just not used to seeing it.
The little girl had to be the saddest thing ever...
I know in the states the first responders block access to the public when something horrid happens.We are not used to it at all.

I know my husband was only 9 years old on Oct. 23, 1956.
He was playing in a small park area near the Danube when things got messy.
He saw a tank crash over a young women that afternoon before he and his 10 year old bro ran home for dinner and safety.
He never told his mother they had seen that women getting smashed.
I thought maybe Hungarians are just used to seeing horrid things, nothing fazes them much.