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Marriage to Algerian

Last activity 22 August 2018 by TominStuttgart

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Sherryjmj621

I am engaged to Algerian man he is younger am much older. I fly over next March to get married but have been told us embassy will deny due to age difference.  Not sure about Algerian government.  Does anyone know of the rules.  I appreciate any help.  Thanks

TominStuttgart

This is a common subject here. The people posting such things always insist it is true love and inevitably one later hears that it was all a con and how they gave thousands or tens of thousands of dollars to the person. Most con men are very convincing. Many lonely people are blinded by believing what they want to believe.

The con will go for a few thousand for the emergency operation to save a relative or some other catastrophe and then its 20,000 dollars to start up this great, “sure thing” business opportunity... Some scammers might even go through with a wedding if it will get them to the States or some other western Country. Then it mysterious falls apart and they take everything they can get their hands on.

Is it impossible that a young foreigner could fall for someone of the opposite sex (or maybe same sex these day) that is decades older? No. But chances are 99% that it is a scam especially if it is a younger man and an older woman.

And that governments forbid this is not a moral or ethical consideration. They are trying to protect people from what is nearly always a heart breaking scam.

TominStuttgart

The internet is also full of stories and warning about these sweatheart swindles as they are know:

http://www.senior-dating.org/how-to-kno … 3-part-onehttp://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life- … ck-3149883http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic … ke-it-tho/

Sherryjmj621

He has never asked for anything.  I am buying my own ticket over I insisted,  but he is taking care of my hotel and meals. I have dealt with scammers and know what they are capable of. I would never even send 10.00 to anyone, I'm not stupid which u implying I am because he is younger. I am not rushing anything but to know more. I investigate and track down information to verify who I'm dealing with.

TominStuttgart

I can only hope you are right. If you read the links I posted you will see that many sensible, educated people; teachers, lawyers, doctors etc. fall for such scams. If they are angling to get a green card then they might even wine and dine till they get what they want rather than go for the payout right away. Maybe it's true love but the chances are 99% it isn't. And nearly 100% of people who get scammed were convinced that they weren't - until it was too late. Otherwise, it wouldn't happen - and with a lot of frequency.  And even if the scams don’t always wipe out someone’s finances, the emotional scars can be crippling.

There are probably hundreds of threads on the various forums on this site with cases just like yours. The people were warned over and over. They INSISTED it couldn’t be a con. And nearly always it is followed up with a sob story how SOMETHING somehow went wrong… You ever get an email saying you’ve won millions in the lottery or a relative died and left you money? How many do you think are legitimate? Yet I myself once got an email saying I had unexpectedly inherited money from an Uncle. And it was true! Came from my parents though so I tended to believe them. So yeah; nothing is 100%.

GuestPoster491

Tom gives some correct warnings, and for those that don't believe it or want to turn a blind eye....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … -scam.html

This really does happen often, and those considering jumping into such a situation need to take precautions....

Romaniac
Expat.com Experts Team

shelleyfreeman

I don't know the rules but I did have one English friend that was already living in Florida on a visa denied her green card application though marriage because of a 20 ish year age difference.

Bhavna

Hello everyone,

This topic is not on the Algeria forum since it is the concerned destination. Members who might have already made the move could perhaps help.

You will find some relevant info here : https://www.expat.com/forum/viewtopic.p … 21#2250529

All the best,
Bhavna

darlingsayang

Age gap is not an issue to get marry in algeria. However the intention of marrying an older women is doutful,in any culture i think...my angle of seing this matter is like this..
U see there is not much opportunity at all in algeria for a guy to b succesfull on his own unless he has  bunch of connection in business or life in that matter.so... it is a dream come true in every bright eyed young algerian men to be in love with a foreign girl especially from a free country such as US. Of course they r after the opportunity to resides in other country but above of all what they want is to upgrade their life for their future n its really really hard to achieve that in algeria. Therefore marrying u is the easiest way to do it for him as u won't depend on him financially(but be aware that u might hv to support him after d honeymoon is over)
Now, if u r so deeply in love with him n willing to come to algeria to get marry..i think its a good idea just dont get too high with the pat on the back by him n his family if u know what i mean..it can get blurry..so watch your back always. Life is short so go for it..nobody is certain of what the future holds..

Sherryjmj621

He has a good job in Algeria as a professor. He wants to stay in his country but I dont want to move there. I have 15 yr old son who I dont want to uproot. Thank you for all your help.

Amr__an

even you are free to marry who you want and no one  in the world have the right to pick who you should marry to ! but the us embassy has fears to be a " white marriage ", they need proves that it is a true love, and is not a "bridge" for your partner to be in USA and obtain the resident visa, because it is actually the easiest way right now to get it !

TominStuttgart

Sounds like you have some serious issues to deal with regardless of what anyone here might suggest. If he really wants to stay in Algeria and you in America then what sense does the whole thing make? Or do you plan to marry and live continents apart? One can potentially meet their ideal soul mate yet not have it work out because of circumstances, like having such different expectations or plans. Overcoming obstacles for love is good and fine but if one partner has to give up too much then one has to ask if it is really the right thing to do. Seems like there are red flags everywhere but you don’t want to see them.

Sherryjmj621

We have talked about this. He is willing to come to America to find work. He has certificate for teaching at mosque which he can do here. I'm going into this blinded.  I have talked, written and know the good, bad and the ugly. I am not rich at all. I am currently on disability so living on my income will be hard until I can return to work. I am thinking with my head and not my heart.

DesiEngineer

Follow your heart.....it is worth trying than not to and think over it all life.

I suggest having a look at embassy of algeria Web pages,  in your country of residence.

Good Luck.

TominStuttgart

Well, you have already contradicted yourself. Now he IS planning to come to the States. Like mentioned this is motive enough for many foreigners to marry someone regardless of their financial situation. A mosque is like a church. One can be an imam there - if they get a position. Lot of mosques with positons available in your neck of the woods? Love is fine but turning one's common sense off because of it is simply foolish.

I am not at all against people marrying one of a different religion. I was together with, and wanted to marry, a Muslim woman myself.  But one should also understand cultural differences and expectations. A man marrying a much older woman is unusual in most cultures and very much so in Islamic ones.

This man should be a teacher of Islam? Well, there is no dating as one knows it in the west for strict Muslims. That he would have even spoken with a woman with any intentions of a love interest, other than a chaperoned situation by a male member of her family present, is generally unacceptable. That that woman would be a foreign, older non-Muslim is totally inappropriate. This is not my personal feeling; these are the rules of the religion and culture. If it was a young, traveled, mostly secular Muslim then it wouldn’t necessarily be an issue. An Islamic teacher living in Algeria?  RED FLAG!

darlingsayang

Sherry..i live in algeria for the past 6 yrs n i know exactly what he hv in his head right now because i came across this situation too often here!  Professor means school teacher in algeria. My 14yrs old son call his teacher prof.
But if he only qualifies to teach in mosque..he is not a professor but a volunteer with certificate in islamic studies. Well what do i know right...but i do know this for certain.
Besides all that i've told u there r also so many revert friends of mine whom hv been married to algerian, hv a good responsible husbands. BUT the cultural differences will break u apart n honestly i dont think its your cup of tea at all...good luck on decision making😏

Treefrogandme

Is he married to a Muslim woman there. He  can take a Nother wife but she is undocumented. Is that something you could handle.

Sherryjmj621

No he is not married, he has never kissed a woman. His faith forbids him.

TominStuttgart

Guy is so strict in his faith that he never kissed a woman but started up a relationship with an older, foreign, as far as we know - person of another faith. Because he just couldn't find an appropriate Muslim partner in Algeria I guess.... One must be delusional not to see the contradictions. Not that I am against Islam but one has to wonder if you have worked out the issues being married to a strict practitioner. A Muslim man is allowed to marry a Christian or Jew - although a Muslim woman cannot. But even if there is not a lot of pressure from a partner to convert, it will be expected that the household is run along certain restricts. Halal food, no alcohol. etc. Also, many people don't know that dogs are haram, seen as unclean, in Islam. A strict Muslim is thus as forbidden to own as a dog as they are to eat pork.

Treefrogandme

Hello, my name is Cherie.  I am American and live in the United States. Do you have a Facebook   Account ?  If you do I would like to speak to you on messenger. I may be able to shed some light on the information You seek

Treefrogandme

Sherry.....  I have a friend who has converted to Islam  and she is the third wife have a holy man. He teaches at a university in the United States  and is unable to teach anything there without the proper education and is a professor. He travels all over the United States to speak and lecture to 10s of thousands of people at a time.  She is an undocumented wife. That because she does not live with him she is not faithful to her religious beliefs. And is not honest  to him about that. He believes she does everything that she should ask his wife.  Have you listened to any videos online or lectures on Islam, purchased  or gone to the library to read up on what his life is like if he is strict and should you decide to convert you know what to expect on how your life will  change?  If you converted or not there would be changes from the life as you know it now. Most importantly do you know what he expects  of you?  Cherie

Primadonna

Many said useful comments and most of them are true.

One thing I always ask in these cases:
How you can be sure to love each other without spending one second together in real life?

Sherryjmj621

Yes I do have Facebook account I'm under *** Tennessee ..u must put in sparta, therecare alot of ***

Moderated by Priscilla 8 years ago
Reason : Do not post your personal contact details on a public forum for your own security
Mustafa djellouli

Hello Sherry
As an Algerian who is been living in Algeria for 31 years i have to tell you that there is a big chance that you're being scammed, i know it's hard but please try to use your brain instead of your heart, some guys here would do anything to go to a western country, they even risk ther lives by migrating to Europe on a fishing boat
And there are also many stories that i hear about guys here wanting to marry western women just to go live in the west, and one more thing: here in Algeria it's really uncommun that a man marries an older woman, i know it's hard but be careful.
Regards

Mustafa djellouli

Yes, it can happen, it hurts lol but its real.

Sherryjmj621

I am breaking up with him he wants to remain in Algeria and I won't move there. He just opened a restaurant there today and is teacher for middle school.  He has life there and I understand but I have My life here.

darlingsayang

Good for you sherry. Wish u all d best in future.

inform_me

Hi Sherry.  I hope things are going well for you now.  I also met a much younger muslim man online and fell head over heels.  He was probably one of the most attractive men I ever met in my life and I thought, well as long as I don't send him any money I'll be just fine and I have nothing to lose.  Well that isn't true.  Over the course of about six months I got very attached to him.  After speaking with him for two months, and after agreeing to marry this man (that was less than a month into online chat) moving to Algeria was not sitting well with me.  Between the online high terror alert on the US embassy in Algiers, my family and friends warning me to absolutely not go and the possibility that I could easily be trafficed for sex or labor ruminating in the back of my mind, I told this man I could not go to Algeria to live. I was also thinking about how he expected me to stay at home and not work.  I could not live with that so I said he needs to come live in America for us to be together.  He became very irate and stopped talking to me. A week later he returned after ignoring me, telling me that he misses me and will agree to my terms and will plan to move to the US and live with me.  So, we were chatting again and making plans. About a month goes by and he becomes irate with me that I am connected to a man on my facebook (he made me unfriend all my male friends on Facebook about three months into chatting).  I explained that the man was only a distant cousin who was completing a family tree.  It didn't matter.  He stopped chatting with me.  A week passes and he returns to me to tell me how much he misses me and cannot live without me but because of how difficult Trump has made things for muslims he will not move to the US and for us to be together I will need to move there.  I pictured marrying this muslim in my mind and how things would be for me...no more freedom, I would belong to him, no career goals to pursue, I would be trapped at home unable to go anywhere without him, no more margaritas after work with the girls because muslims don't drink alcohol and no real life of my own.  This would clearly be my future should I decide to follow "love" and move to this unknown country.  This, however, is what I consider to be the "best case scenario" in my situation as I have always had a sinking suspicion that something else altogether was going on here.  I began to think about all the poor foreigners who were promised a better life in America only to be redirected by human trafficers into the slave trade.  We have foreigners here, completely helpless because they don't speak the language, forced into slave labor or sex by trafficers.  Slavery is bigger now than it's ever been in history and it can happen to anyone, anywhere, black or white, male or female.  Getting "scammed" for money should be the very least of our worries but it seems like that's the only thing that people focus on when warning people about online romance.  Now, after getting attached to this man over the course of six months, I have taken a toll emotionally.  Up and down on this emotional rollercoaster.  I can't stand it anymore and now I have to be strong and just refuse to communicate with this man and it's gonna be difficult, but I have to for my own sanity.  People need to understand that there is so much more to lose than money in online romance.  I hope you are doing well now. Please tell me if you can relate in any way.

Mustafa djellouli

Hello there
I read your story and  it is so weird, i just dont understand how many western women are really weak, you have to be strong and use your brain instead of your heart, yes you do! The world isnt just black and white you know, you cant just decide to marry someone from a very different reality just like that, you have a life too , it is all yours, nobody should tell you what to do with it.

Heidi Thor Williams

I recomend you read this warning from the USA Embassy in Algeria :

https://dz.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-se … age-fraud/

"Request to get married in Tunisia with a single witness because “it’s easier to get married quickly there.”  Note that weddings in Algeria are major social occasions, and it is extremely unusual for large numbers of family and friends not to be present at the wedding"

"Requests for relationships between a young Algerian man and a much older American woman.  (In the Algerian cultural context it is extremely unusual for an Algerian man to have a legitimate relationship with a woman even slightly older – and especially unusual to have a first-time "

"Entering into a marriage contract for the principal purpose of facilitating immigration to the United States for an alien is against U.S. law and can result in serious penalties, including fines and imprisonment for the American citizen and the foreign national involved."

Heidi Thor Williams

Mustafa,

How common is it for Algerian man to marry a woman who is divorced and has children ?

Is it common for the same man to marry a woman who is a virgin or does it not matter ?


Why do these man want an western citizenship ?

Heidi Thor Williams

Sherry , how old is he and how old are you ?

Heidi Thor Williams

Posting the link again, since I can not she it in my reply

https://dz.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-se … age-fraud/

Heidi Thor Williams

From the link on mirror.com , one of 3 links above :

" The group is calling for new laws that would see the men prosecuted for fraud then thrown out of Britain."

TominStuttgart

Heidi Thor Williams wrote:

Sherry , how old is he and how old are you ?


I doubt one needs to comment on this thread since it is not new. The poster actually had a number of threads going that clearly showed a delusional denial of reality as most of the things said about this guy were contradictory and absolutely in violation of the social norms there. She was obviously falling for a scam but didn't want to believe it, so keep starting new threads trying to get the answers she wanted rather than hearing the truth. This is not to say that someone from Algeria and a western country couldn't have a legitimate relationship - but there are many telltale signs of a scam.

Heidi Thor Williams

Hi Tomin, did you read what I posted to her from the USA embassy website ?

Sherryjmj621

Not interested in any response now. It was not a scam as you seem to think. He was a wonderful man. I met his family and they were very sweet. I ended our relationship not because of anything wrong about him but other reasons. I wish him the best he is a great guy and very devout Muslim as I am now. Thanks for taking such an interest in my life.

TominStuttgart

Heidi Thor Williams wrote:

Hi Tomin, did you read what I posted to her from the USA embassy website ?


Yes I read it. But that scams exist is nothing new. But people believe what they want to. The poster claims it wasn't a scam because she met his family and they were nice. I would respond that most scammers are charming, that’s how they succeed. One can only warn people but it is not for others here to conclusively decide if a scam is happening. But whether she wants to admit it, most of the information she gave was contradictory and fit to the profile of a scam. A young Muslim man in an Islamic country does NOT marry an older woman, especially a non-Muslim foreigner. And when the contact was made over the internet rather than a personal contact then think again. But yeah, she found a guy who was a professor and then a teacher but now he is also running a restaurant… And he is a devote Muslim yet everything about the supposed relationship is religiously forbidden. Again, one should not judge other's religions, interfaith relationships do happen, but when one claims one thing and does the opposite then it suggests ulterior motives. The poster keep asking for ways around the law to make it happen although she was told by the Algerian authorities that such a marriage due to age difference was not allowed. One hardly needs to ask why.

Heidi Thor Williams

So is the whole family in on the scam, or is it not their real families, just fake to help with the scam ?

Sherryjmj621

Like I said before my past relationship you know nothing about only assume. By the way I am Muslim and my faith is the most important thing to me. You can believe what you want about him or me, I honestly dont care. Like I said before it was not a scam and you knew nothing of our personal relationship. We were allowed to be married in Algeria it was having the documents interrupted into their language and the waiting period we had to do upon arrival. It's in the past now we both have moved on and only wish the best for him in life. Because Allah will grant to those who believe and call upon his name. Peace be upon you. Now pls leave this subject alone....its over.

Closed

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