Moving from UK to Aalborg with Danish BF and child. Tips?
Last activity 19 October 2016 by SophieOlivia
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Hello everyone
My name is Sophie and I am 25 years old. I am currently living in England with my Danish partner and we are planning to move to Aalborg next summer with our daughter (she is due in 8 weeks time)
I hope the site can give me some tips and information to help me with the move
Thanks
Denmark is an amazing country, but nevertheless having lived on both I'm wondering why you want to leave England?
For now I think some of the tips you should have are:
Denmark is expensive! I thought London was expensive, but really, when you live here, everywhere else seems like a bargain! You need to accommodate for this until you get a job and save a fair bit of money, especially with a child, before your move.
Start to sort your accommodation - Have you found a place yet? How much?
I would say you're looking at £1300 a month as a minimum for 2 bed, furnished and in decent condition, but get ready to fork out for the deposit. Similarly, there is no government backed deposit protection scheme here, so you never know if you get it back when moving (in case you need to relocate or just don't like the place for some reason)
Are you planning on working here? How is your Danish Language? Most people here speak English, but only if they have to, which leads to my other topic, you'll feel left out! Also don't count with a possible employer offering you a job without speaking fluent Danish. Once you get the job things are simpler, there is a lot of equity in earnings here so people tend to live very similarly, unlike England.
Most stuff at the shops is written in Danish only, unlike in the UK where we have a few languages on many products (UK mostly imports nowadays, while Denmark is more keen in using its own products)
How will you see your family? I know how it is to be away from family. I was an expat at an earlier age that you, nowadays I worry about my parents starting to get older and needing support at some point. I last visited this summer and its amazing what time does in 7 years!
Who will care for your baby? Have you researched all about childcare? Unless you're close to your partner parents and they can help with that, it gets tough over time, specially at the weekend when both of you want to do something together.
I'm guessing having a Danish partner (and perhaps family) will greatly help on many of the things above, but nevertheless play safe and as boring as it seems do some planning and be prepared for the worst, that's the bets advice in succeeding as an expat
The plan is to save before we move which is well underway. I currently live in the south East of England which is extremely expensive. We had a 2 bedroom furnished apartment which cost us around £1300 a month. We have since moved back to my parents due to so many problems constantly occurring with the apartment and plus it's much easier to save here. Prior to moving here my boyfriend lived in a 1 bedroom apartment where he was paying £500 a month including bills right in the centre of Aalborg so I don't know what location you are thinking of? I would fly there once a month and he here. It worked out fine but you get to a point of needing to be with each other more plus we wanted to start a family.
Childcare is also very expensive here where I live in UK, probably around £85 per day. I have done lots of research and my boyfriend has contacted a lot of people to work out how much childcare is and what we are entitled to etc. Plus we do have his family to help out. Financially Denmark is better on that front.
As for my family. We live 5 minutes from Gatwick Airport and flights with Norwegian to Aalborg are always cheap and my parents often go away for weekends etc and have said they will just make it to DK each time. Plus technology such as Skype. It's not easy but one of us has to make the sacrifice right?
As for the job, I work in Airport Security and Aalborg airport said they would take me when I learn Danish so that's my main priority when I move there (after starting a bit here first). I will be taking time off to be with my daughter for a while anyway. One concern is friends... I'm scared about feeling lonely. He has his friends who obviously accept me as a friend too but it's not the same you know?
As you know the UK childcare system is heavily subsided. 15 hours free childcare for 38 weeks a year and then a large portion (I believe up to 75%) is paid back as working tax credits depending on your income.
You have to wait a few years (i think its the first term after the third birthday) till you can get it, so do check how it works on Denmark, as it basically means you'll have to pay it in full till then or stay at home for the period.
The hourly rate afterwords is of little relevance (and will effectively depend on your income). Its also possible to use 'child care vouchers' which are essentially taken out of your net income before taxes, effectively reducing the NI and TAX contributions.
Personally I would try and make sure I could get any job before moving. That would give you financial security and would help tremendously with the new language and friends as you'll be in a social context, rather than at home.
I see a red flag where they mention to take you once you learn Danish. Learning a language fluently can take a couple years, at least, and you would have a huge gap on your CV by then. Just food for thought
Regarding the other issues, if your boyfriend is currently living there and employed, I'm guessing that would put off much of the pressure in getting house and doing daily stuff. Worst case you can always return back to your family so I wouldn't worry too much there.
Best of luck
I am grateful for your posts because it's very refreshing to hear from someone who knows the experience. Everything I read online just seems to be so vague (in terms of people's moving stories) so this helps me a lot. So thank you for that
I completely agree with everything you're saying and I think the reality is that this is not going to be easy and I do acknowledge that which is certainly a place to start!
I have major pros and cons for each country. My boyfriend hates living here and I can't exactly say I love it so he is desperate to live in Denmark again and I'm kind of in the position where I have to try right? I certainly have my family as a fall back plan if I do need to move back.
I think I should have a sit down and just really work everything out. Doesn't help that Britain decided to leave the EU aswell so don't know how hard it would be for me to move there after that is actioned.
Hi Sophie,
It's actually not so terrible here and can be not so expensive as many people think, if you can be smart to find the "right" shops and places to go and so on.. I live in Aalborg and I can tell you the life here can be hard and easy at the same time. You just have to try! If you have any questions you can PM me and I will try to answer.
The worst thing that can happened here is loneliness and definitely you will miss your British friends, but then it depends of you and your friends how often you can take a flight and meet each other!
One would have guessed that with many people passing trough the same situations advice would be easy to get... But it depends on your expectations and your own willingness to fight, so opinions vary!
It's a tough choice, I'm guessing you're pressurized because of your daughter as well, so it doesn't help...
Dont bother with the Brexit, they have wiped their asses before going toilet on this one and I won't comment further until they take it seriously, whichever way...
The UK is a nice place to live but it is divided and (in a social context) is sometimes rubbish, similarly for the housing market and we have a whole lot of welfare people, some of which are scary, to say the least. Scotland appears to be very similar to Denmark if you can get a job there
Sometimes it is good to stay and invest in yourself than to start all over again. It gives you stability to be able to save, buy a house, get a promotion at work, bla, bla...
My experience here in Denmark has been positive. I feel very safe going to shops or walking in the streets after dawn. The country population is small so it's not as crowded, traffic flows very easily, etc., but I haven't travelled troughout the whole country as I did in the UK, so take this with a pinch of salt.
If you have the chance, give it a try, just be realistic in what you plan to achieve: Go without any expectations or commitment and see how it works for you! Similarly always maintain yourself independent, don't just go or put pressure in yourself because of your relationship. While I hope that never happens to you, it is important to know that things may go wrong and you'll need to make sure you'll be able to cope and it is worth it in case they do, so ensure it is something YOU genuinely want and enjoy doing!
Hi SophieOlivia
I see that you have already got some input from other expats.
As a native, living in another part of the country, I'll mainly comment on your concerns on friends. As a mother to a newborn baby, I am confident, you'll be able to find friends as there is no ice breaker as children (and dogs).
Until a couple of years ago, all municipalities in Denmark, offered new mothers to join a mother group, but it seems that among others, Aalborg municipality has now replaced this scheme with another scheme Hånd om barnet (Care of the child): http://www.aalborg.dk/media/3466520/haa … -pjece.pdf
Aalborg municipality also offers a Cafe Baby Start every Friday. This scheme isn't for everybody, but for people who seems to need extra help, e.g. people with a not-Danish background. Actually, I don't think you belong to the target group, but have a look.
https://www.facebook.com/CafeBabyStart/
Depends on where you settle down, there will be a local mother group you can attend. As an example, here is a FB page where a mother looks for other mothers to meet with:
https://www.facebook.com/DetSkerISvenst … 8088861890
She is living outside Aalborg, Svenstrup, but there might be other groups in Aalborg or the outskirts of aalborg which you can join. Or you may create your own FB page for that purpose.
It needs that you log in. I haven't done that.
http://allevents.in/aalborg/m%C3%B8dreg … 2002772095
You'll have to create a profile so I don't know if this will be of help to you:
http://altomboern.dk/moedregrupper
Finally, I'll suggest to you that you mail the sundhedsplejersken (health care nurse) and ask her how you can meet other mothers: http://www.aalborg.dk/familie-og-boern/ … -du-gravid
Don't be afraid that you cannot find a childcare. Everybody has the right to have his/her child taken care of.
http://www.aalborg.dk/english/living-in … dolescentshttp://www.aalborg.dk/familie-og-boern/boernepasning
As CDTSilva put it: It is more than important to learn Danish, but you will be offered free language courses.
http://www.sprogcenteraalborg.dk/en/
You'll have the advantage of having English as your mother tongue, and with a Danish partner you will certainly pick up Danish more easily than the majority of expats. (I take that you don't speak English all the time).
/Nellie
You're right cdtsilva. I don't want the pressure to influence my decision. Ahhh it really is a tough one.
Nellie, thank you so much for your post!
That is so informative and helpful! I will check out the links later on this evening when I have some down time
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